Neither scary nor funny

Rating: 4/10 (31 October 1999)

First of all, I should say up-front that I'm not a horror movie fan. Horror movies have never appealed to me much, and I find most of them rather boring. There are a few horror movies which I do think are excellent, for instance Poltergeist, The Exorcist, and Silence of the Lambs. In general, however, the appeal of the horror genre is a puzzle to me.
With this in mind, I rented Scream with an open mind. I knew nothing about the movie itself, except that it had gathered good reviews. I wanted to be scared and entertained. As it turned out, neither wish came true.
Scream is a movie ABOUT movies and the people who watch them. Specifically, Scream is a movie about horror movies and the people who watch horror movies. I didn't know this beforehand, although it became clear soon itself. A killer is on the loose, and Neve Campbell appears to be the primary target. Of course, this isn't what the movie is all about. The plot is merely a vehicle for the main characters, who all seem to be extremely knowledgeable horror movie fans. Throughout the film, they endlessly discuss and remark about horror movies, making references to famous films and well-known devices in the horror genre.
The satire didn't work for me. I'm sure this has something to do with the fact I'm not a horror fan. Or perhaps the satire worked too well. Within minutes of the first scene, I was certain I was watching a "movie within a movie". When the credits never rolled and the lights never rose on a sea of teenage moviegoers, I realized this was satire. I sulked and hoped for the best.
Unfortunately, even the humor which I understood well seemed heavy-handed and spoon-fed. Then again, some of the cliches and devices of the horror genre are so glaringly obvious that it might be difficult to satirize them at all, without appearing heavy-handed in the process.
The main characters painstakingly point out all the "mistakes" which the characters in horror movies typically make. Then, they go on and make the same mistakes themselves. I suppose this is in keeping in line with the rest of the satire, but it doesn't make for a very entertaining story. When Neve Campbell undresses for her boyfriend, she fails to reveal her top to the camera, and this exception only serves to highlight the rule of how closely the main characters mimic the characters they see. After all, as is pointed out, "there's always a *** shot".
Many people describe this as a "scary" movie. To be honest, I've been more frightened at the thought of an upcoming topology midterm than I was frightened by this movie. It was anything but scary. In order for a movie to be scary, anticipation must be built up. As Hitchcock said, (modulo a slight paraphrase), "Terror is achieved by anticipation of the event, NOT the event itself." Scream is all event and no anticipation. There's nothing scary about watching teenagers get chased around and hacked to bits.
This is just my opinion, of course. You should take into account my lack of interest and knowledge in the horror genre in general. If you're a great horror fan, and you know a lot about horror movies, you may very well like this movie. Myself, I'm not a horror fan, and I found it quite boring and tedious. If you're interested in a movie ABOUT the movies, I would recommend The Player, which was far more clever. If you're interested in being scared out of your wits, watch the original Dutch version of The Vanishing. Now THAT'S a scary movie.
-- 4 out of 10 stars