Wait for the DVD, it'll be even better!

Rating: 3/10 (31 August 2010)

I hear that Wright is going to digitally replace Cera with Jar Jar binks in every scene. Early preview have shown a 90% reduction in unfocused feelings of rage and disgust among males in the 15-54 age brackets, and a 15% increase in arousal among females 18-34.
If you can though, hold out for the BluRay, which will feature a scene where Cera is fed feet first into a wood chipper, slowly. Reportedly, his expression doesn't alter at all during the whole scene, and all that comes out is... wood chips.
So, no, not a fan. Wright does all his usual jump-cut trickery, and finally with a budget to match his vision. Normally that would give a film a score close to fifty out of ten. Unfortunately, compressing the already trite source material down to under 2 hours minutes knocks off a couple of points, and then Michael Cera is a solid 300 point ding.
Scott - and there's a slacker hipster emo douche name right off the bat - is a slacker hipster emo douche, let's be clear on that. Note carefully that the Pilgrim fans denying that are all slackers, hipsters, emos and/or douches. So there's your market, right there.
Since he's that particular sort of 22 year old just-getting-creepy slacker hipster emo douche who nails hot high school girls, that takes high school slacker hipster emo douches out of the picture. God damn 22 year old slacker hipster emo douches, stealing our girls.
And since slacker hipster emo douche over 22 can't nail high school girls without getting 10 to 15 in Federal, that's another slice out of the potential market.
So, this is a film for 22 year old slacker hipster emo douches. The kind of 22 year old slacker hipster emo douche who play 25 year old 8 bit games. In short, this is a film that will actually have to "find" its target audience by growing them in a vat. Should have spent some of the $120 million production and marketing budget on that, Universal.
In all seriousness, there are only two things that you need to know about Scott Pilgrim: one, Michael Cera gets punched in the face. But two, he doesn't get punched enough. The end. Of Cera's career, hopefully, but sadly maybe of Wright's too. It really is a bitter-sweet story.