I went to see Saw. I saw Saw II, too. Should you?

Rating: 4/10 (7 November 2005)

While I'll admit that I couldn't watch some of the scenes (I'm squeamish, that's not that hard), I do have to strike down any serious comparissons that this series draws to David Fincher's SEVEN. Unlike SAW, SEVEN had a few things going for it that this series never had, but namely great actors (three Oscar winners), and David Fincher. You can argue about Fincher's talent all you want, but his stench can clearly be seen all throughout these two movies, particularly this installment. The death trap house might as well have been a soap factory at 1537 Paper Street and have had the names of the seven deadly sins written around the place.
SAW II is a steaming pile of crap, completely exploiting the unexpected success of a movie that was originally intended to go straight to DVD. The first movie had some credible and talented actors, namely Cary Elwes, Danny Glover and Tobin Bell (an accomplished actor who had long before paid his dues in bit parts for over twenty five years). While Tobin was obviously going to be featured in this film, his character was relatively undeveloped from the end of the first film. It also seems the folks in charge were unable to line up established actors, so they settle for Marky Mark's little brother in his first high profile since his (two minute) roll in THE SIXTH SENSE, and two quasi-known actors rounding out the cast of newcomers are Glenn Pummer (SHOWGIRLS) and Beverly Mitchell (7TH HEAVEN).
But who cares about who's in it? The question is whether or not it's worth your time and money. When you take this thing down to the brass tacks we have an un-intriguing story that sells itself short by trying to make us flinch, cringe and squirm in our seats by building tension that is never relieved, and grossing us out with practical and CGI special effects. So I suppose by those standard, this movies is successful. Unfortunately for this franchise, the ending isn't clever ... well neither was the first one, but this one is even less so than their last attempt at an USUAL SUSPECTS twist. The characters have as much depth as a cookie sheet. Never once do any of the characters try to think their way out of a situation, they simply stumble around from one blatantly obvious trap to another. Just about the only thing that would make this movie less cheesy is if they'd cut through the crap and have Michael Myers, Leatherface or Jason Voorhees jump out wielding a machete. This movie isn't a thriller, it's a glorified snuff flick. I've seen movies made for the Sci-Fi channel that had better writing.
My final verdict is that you might as well save yourself from the $20 outing and go rent RETURN OF THE Texas CHAINSAW MASSACRE or FACES OF DEATH, or even read a Dean Koontz novel. Nearly anything would be better than wasting your money on this pitiful excuse for a horror flick. While this movie may inspire its own imitators, this series will ultimately collect dust at your local movie rental store with the occasional passerby reminiscing with his friend, "Dude, you remember those movies? God did they suck."