Ridiculous and impossible - and a straight rip-off of Mad Max (a GOOD film)

Rating: 1/10 (11 January 2012)

OK, the usual horror stuff. I usually avoid this kind of nonsense nowadays, having been saturated with the horror genre during its true heyday throughout the 1980s. Always the same: blood, gore, nastiness, psycho serial killer, obsessed detective(s), more blood, more gore, so-called plot twist that is blindingly obvious, yada yada, blah blah.
But seriously, apart from being as unoriginal as this kind of film usually is, "Saw" is one huge rip-off from the very start. Is everyone on IMDb so young as to have failed to watch "Mad Max" - an actually GOOD film - which was such a worldwide hit in the 1980s and is still one of cinema's all-time classics?! For those who are either too young (or too forgetful) to know just HOW big of a rip-off this crummy film is, let me just quote the end of IMDb's OWN Plot Synopsis of "Max Max" here: "Max [...] handcuffs Johnny's ankle to the wrecked, overturned vehicle with a ruptured petrol tank. Max lights a crude time-delay fuse and gives Johnny a hacksaw, leaving him the choice of sawing through either the handcuffs (which will take 10 minutes) or his ankle (which will take 5 minutes), and then drives off into the desolate outback. As Max drives away, the camera shows Max's car from the front, with a large and fiery explosion in the distance behind it. Max blankly continues to drive in a rainstorm." ... I mean, come ON, people!! "Mad Max" doesn't deserve to be dragged down by being associated with this pathetic, unoriginal, blatant rip-off. A tribute? I think not. Just the writer(s)/director hoping - apparently with great success - that today's typically young horror-fan cinema audiences wouldn't realise from which classic film they stole their whole central so-called "shocking" premise. Feeble.
And as for all the stupid, gaping plot holes, well... where to start?!
First: How on earth was the "dead man" on the floor managing not to breathe for, what was it, some 8-10 hours? He's being stared at by a DOCTOR, no less, who fails to notice, all that time, that he is BREATHING?! Maybe he's a secret fakir who has taught himself to hold his breath for days at a time, hm? And that's just ONE *grossly* stupid plot flaw.
Second: Nobody, but nobody, can saw their own foot off and remain conscious for more than a few seconds. If their instinct for self-preservation will even allow them to make the attempt, the pain would cause fainting in less than a minute, and as for cutting through the BONE?! Don't make me laugh. What a joke. Oh, wait a minute: obviously THAT guy was a fakir too, capable of ignoring all forms of pain after a lifetime spent sleeping on beds of nails and walking over hot coals! And, of course, also acquiring, during his training, some kind of miraculous ability to NOT DIE OF BLOOD LOSS even if he managed the (impossible) foot-sawing claptrap. Of course! Why didn't I think of that! Er, because it's just stupid.
Third: Sheesh, forget it. Too many plot flaws to list - and I have better things to do. Like spending a couple of hours watching paint dry. Which I strongly advise anyone who is considering watching "Saw" (or any of its increasingly moronic sequels) to do, since it would be far more rewarding than spending the same time watching a cheesy rip-off gore-flick like this rubbish.
I hope the writer/director of "Mad Max" sued these idiots into the ground for theft of intellectual property. And sheer bad film-making.
IMDb really needs a "zero stars" rating for this kind of tripe.
Drivel.