"Saw" it coming...

Rating: 1/10 (30 October 2004)

This movie just sucked. I only went because a friend insisted, even though I told him it would probably be pretty bad. "Pretty Bad" doesn't do it justice. "Saw" is about a couple of guys who find themselves trapped in a "third-world bathroom" chained to pipes with a dead guy in the middle of the room. The "Horror" technique is mundane and predictable. The bits of comedy are laughable to a 5th grader.
As far as Horror movies go, this one sits pretty low with the Scream Sequels. The movie aims to scare the viewer with gore and quick cuts, instead of using suspense and surprise to shock. There is only one scene in the film where suspense is used well and uniquely works, and this was the only time I was scared during the movie. Anyone who has seen this movie should know the scene I'm talking about. If you don't remember, don't bother seeing it again.
The dialogue is poorly written and slow. The characters lack any believable motivation through most of the film, which is two hours long, and only deliver convincing drama as the movie nears its end. The plot also plays out much like a game of Clue, and there are enough loopholes and loose ends in the story that attempting to explain them would drive a tax lawyer insane.
Oh, by the way... Danny Glover should know something about acting as a cop from all the Lethal Weapon films. There was obviously no attention paid to the details of investigative and law enforcement procedure and tactics. In one "climactic" scene I can recall seven or eight major tactical mistakes that would have easily been avoided if the production team cared enough to pay attention. This failure makes the scene in question laughable more than suspenseful, and this is the kind of thing that can ruin a decent movie.
Predictability is also a huge problem with this movie. It's not as predictable as a movie based on a book you've read, but it comes close. WARNING: SPOILER! It's the dead guy who did it, and I have no clue how he laid on the floor for eight hours with neither of the protagonists noticing he's breathing. This movie sucks.
In summary, all this movie gave me was a sore neck and a desire for eight bucks. I can't believe anybody paid for the script and the production.