Look at me everyone, I'm a fan-boy!

Rating: 4/10 (16 March 2005)

I watch (and like) some crappy flicks. The acting in this one is hard to excuse. The dialogue and the way the two main characters behave when waking up in a strange room is idiotic. Elwes is just a little better than Whannell, which is sad, Whannell is a rookie by comparison. Danny Glover? Give me a break. We've all seen Lethal Weapon and How Stella Got Her Groove Back, we know what this guy is capable of. Not too darn much. Actually, come to think of it... I never watched "stella". The best actor(s): A toss up between the fat dead guy in the razor wire, and the screaming little kid with a gun to her head.
So on to the bad ending. A lot of questions we're raised. Not good ones, like "Wow, how did they think of that?" or "Did so & so die or not??". Here is my list... 1. How did a surgeon not know the difference between stage make up and a real gunshot wound to the head? Oh, thats right, the cancer victim also happened to be a special FX make up artist. 2. How did two men (again, one of them a surgeon) not notice the guy on the floor breathing for 6 hours? OR--- How did the killer sit perfectly still, not pee, fart, or breathe enough for anyone to hear or see for 6 hours? Oh, thats right... he's a zen master, too. 3. Why would Zap put a gun to the little kids head, then put a stethoscope to her chest and listen to her heartbeat? Seems pretty sadistic for someone who was 'forced' to do it. Oh, thats right.. he's a Pedophile. 4. Why wouldn't the 'obsessed cop' call the police when he thought the deranged killer he's been after is right in front of his face? AND 5. Didn't he get a good look at the killers face when they almost caught him and his partner got killed? Why chase him down saying 'you sick bastard' or whatever when he knew Zap wasn't the killer? OK, I'm as sick of writing those as you are of reading them. The way I see it, this movie had 3 possible endings. The dumb one the directors probably thought of... Zap is the killer, he dies at the end, hooray. The dumb one that Lion's Gate Films probably made them put on... (you watched it already..) OR the only one that makes sense... Glover dies, Whannell dies, the wife dies, Zap dies, and then Elwes bleeds to death after finding out that Zap wasn't the killer. Then the little girl continues her killing rampage at the orphanage. Kids love jigsaw puzzles. Gotta love em.
One last comment before I take this DVD back to the video store.. Isn't it odd that the first 50 comments or so are all one star except for about 3, then all of a sudden they become 8,9, and 10? Maybe they took some of that money they made from the theater and paid people to put some glowing reviews out there.. just in time for the DVD release! WOOHOO! Horray for capitalism, and hooray for anyone who thinks this movie does NOT resemble se7en.. at least not in any flattering sense. Worth a look, not a purchase.