My brain. It bleeds.

Rating: 1/10 (28 February 2017)

Have you ever seen a movie so terrible you create an IMDb account *just* so you can warn the rest of the human race? How, god. HOWWWWWWWWW does this movie have even one good review.
Sausage Party is that scrawny, rape-stach'ed white dude who struts into the bar with an exaggerated swag, dirty wife-beater, backwards snapback and sunglasses on who takes the mortified look on your face and repulsed "no" as invitation to continue grandiose-performing, flexing his lack of muscles in your face, and repeating the F-word ceaselessly (ground me now, mom!! lulz!!). Eminem did it once, so...
When you signal to the bartender and try to escape, he follows you around... For an hour and a half. And just when you finally sigh in relief that your friends have come to save you, he hops directly in front of you and pulls down his pants.
Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate some good crude humor. Family Guy. American Dad. Archer. All fabulous examples of dangerously crass, raunchy humor being pulled off remarkably brilliantly.
But the word "humor" is more than a stretch here. (Wait, the douche is a douche? Is that what you said? No no, could you blatantly tell me that the douche is a douche? Because I didn't get that the douche is a douche.) Every racist stereotype under the sun is personified and paraded around as characters to make up for personalities that don't exist. The dialogue is flat and nauseatingly postured. The plot is predictable within the first five minutes and reeks of nuance-less anti-religious propaganda.
There is an actual, entirely unnecessary rape scene.
(Is rape funny to confederate-flag-sporting, sister-banging twats? Must have missed some memo.) I only made it up until the scene where a few of the characters come to a dirty Mexican bar (because, get it? Mexicans are dirty drunks??), but apparently the film continues its downward spiral right up to the point where they actually have an orgy. Take that, God.
I genuinely cannot imagine this movie being funny to anyone with an IQ over 20. Maybe to bro-tastic idiots with seven rape allegations and a hate-crime assault charge who only get by cause daddy runs a big corporation and knows how to throw a tantrum.
Please don't watch this bulls**t.