Here's A Spice Girl Who Needed A Real Dash Of Pepper!

Rating: 4/10 (6 August 2014)

Angelina Jolie as a dish-water blond!? Angelina Jolie as a frowzy brunette!? Heck, I don't care. Just as long as the bad-boys leave this bad-girl beaten, bloodied & bruised, I'm more than satisfied.
I can't begin to tell you how delightful "Salt's" opening sequence was with Angelina Jolie (that's AJ, for short) being beaten to a literal pulp by the furious Korean soldiers, while all the time pathetically claiming "I'm not a spy! I'm not a spy!" You know, AJ seems to have been born for these sorts of scenes of violence.
Yeah. It was superb. It was stupendous. It was superlative.
In fact, it made watching the rest of this CIA/Double-Agent, dimwit drivel well-worth the 2 hours I wasted hoping (please-please-please) that darling AJ would once again be subjected to even more of the same sort of brutality. (Yep. That would've played quite nicely into satisfying one of my secret (shhh!) guilty pleasures. Indeed)
But, following this one, isolated instance AJ's frail-looking character always retained the upper hand (unfortunately) as she repeatedly pulverized and annihilated more bad guys than you could possibly shake a stick at.
This, of course, was one of "Salt's" major, messed-up downfalls.
If equal numbers of women had been included in all of agent Salt's kick-ass, Matrix-style brawling then, yes, its story might have held some potential. But, as it clearly stood, this film's sexually-biased, anti-Russian, male-annihilating message simply sucked, and then it sucked some more.
To have been fair to me as the viewer, I think that the tunnel-visioned screenwriters for this film could've at least tried to develop Evelyn Salt into something of an interesting and likable character. But no attempt was made in that direction, at all.
And, hey, let's face it - As a typical CIA pencil-pusher, Evelyn Salt was just a little too resourceful (and too damage-proof) for my liking.
It really killed me when Ev amazingly whipped up (in record time) a powerful, makeshift bazooka/flame-thrower which greatly helped her escape from a high security government building (barefooted, no less!).
Another killer-diller moment in "Salt" was when Ev, showing her amazing "superpower" potential and agility, managed to jump, from floor to floor, down the inside of an elevator shaft. (Phew! When the CIA trained its agents, they didn't kid around!)
Filled to overflowing with asinine situations, fluky flaws, and plot-holes galore, this $110 million production (for which AJ was paid $20 million) was originally intended to be a Tom Cruise vehicle. (Like, can you frickin' imagine that!?)
Out of nearly 200,000 votes on IMDb, this film has only managed to peak with an average rating of 6 stars out of 10.
What more can I say?.... Well - How about? - Will anybody be at all surprised if Salt 2 shows up at the movie theaters sometime in the not too distant future?