This movie transformed my life, but not for the reasons people might think

Rating: 4/10 (23 December 2015)

I usually trust RottenTomatoes and IMDb ratings, and while I might watch something that gets a 60% rating or above if the subject interests me, I will usually fall in line with the critics and reviewers on any movie that gets a 97% on RT or such high scores on IMDb. Well, this movie completely shattered my entire belief system, to the point where I find myself without a guiding light for the future.
Many better worded reviews on this site have already captured the grievances that I had with this film, but I must write mine out so that I can feel better and move on with my life...
It felt like it was 3 hours long. In an unbelievable feat of cinematography, they managed to stretch time so that a 2 hour movie felt like 3. The could have condensed the film into an hour and 20 minutes and I would felt less cheated. Outside of a short plot line, *nothing* happened. And every single thread that could have been interesting to develop was cut short leaving us unsatisfied and wondering.
It's a movie about nothing. There was no great insight into the human cause or suffering, no great insight into the psyche of the captor, no details on the parental breakup, no real role given to the very interesting characters of the girl's real father or her mom's new husband. The girl was a b*tch (I mean, that's forgivable given the circumstances), but outside of sympathy for her, it was not entertaining to connect with her on any level. And every single time anything got interesting in the movie the scene ended.
The real life is a lot scarier and way more touching than this movie, and unless one lives in a room, turning on the news every day brings a lot more real emotion and watching a poorly constructed movie with a very minimal depth is not that touching. What can we learn from a 5 year old and his view on the world? That could be interesting to see, sure, but even here, the monologues were short and infantile (because what would you expect from a 5 year old?) Jack was no great thinker at a young age. Yes, the world is full of wonder on the outside, whether you're 5 or 85.
Perhaps it was a movie for those whose view on life has gotten so complacent that they lost any sense of that wonderment and listening to an annoying 5 year old describe his first experiences in the real world outside of his room brought them to tears because of nostalgia or remembering their own childhood innocence. Clearly, I am one of the few against the world who Loved this movie, so I'll be the first to admit defeat.
Now, however, I'm left to scratch my head and re-evaluate my relationship with movie reviews.