Positively, the worst film ever made

Rating: 1/10 (15 November 1998)

As a film critic, I expand my interest into other arts. Theater is merely one of my interests. Shakespeare is a God, too. I've seen many versions of Shakespeare's plays, including Branagh's Henry V, and Much Ado About Nothing. But boy, nothing really prepared me for this piece of crap. Take all of the bad movie experiences you've ever had, and put them together. Ready? Okay, now you still don't have how bad this movie is. Baz Luhrmann has destroyed Shakespeare in ridiculous form. Despite the entertaining two minute opening sequence, this film is completely unimportant. It's a waste of celluloid as we know it. True pain. It's the only film I've actually walked out of the theater on. Those theaters should provide courtesy buckets so you can heave and spew all you want. Good Shakespeare? Watch Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet. Nothing compares. DiCaprio and Danes are great actors... this just proves how great actors can be very, very bad. Never see this film. It's like watching a bad Plan 9 from Outer Space (yes, I realize Plan 9 is bad, but compared to this film, it's Citizen Kane). It should be wiped off the surface of the earth. Thank you.