Shakespeare as Served by Taco Bell

Rating: Null/10 (15 April 2004)

William Shakespeare's 'Romeo and Juliet' has been performed and adapted countless times, and, unfortunately, most of said adaptations have been utterly unable to arouse more than fleeting interest in our current young generation. Consequently, I have to admit that my anticipation for this new interpretation by Baz Luhrman was restrained and, in fact, even somewhat pessimistic. Still, as an antidote to the banal merriment of the Christmas season, during which the film was initially in release, it serves well.
The modern setting, though at first glance somewhat unsettling and irritating, anchors the interpretation of Shakespeare's romantic tragedy in a context familiar to the actors and audience. The acting is unexpectedly robust, considering the fact that a majority of the actors are in fact not (or at least weren't at the time) theatrically trained. One cannot but wonder if passion of such intensity was ever known by any of these plucky teens, these tumbleweeds in the desert of drama. The set and costumes are harmoniously combined and very worthwhile, within the context of a modern rendering. And the set design, too, is immensely resourceful, if not immensely successful. The costumes demonstrate a primal polarity of colors to differentiate the opposing forces as they tear asunder the dramatic passion binding Romeo and Juliet.
Indeed, just as the spirit of Johann Sebastian Bach gives life to lifeless digital sound canvas, so can the spirit of Shakespeare illuminate any shadowy modern context. 'Romeo and Juliet' is a treasure that benefits the world of the dramatic arts by transforming the detached audience into emotional participants. Yes, 'Romeo and Juliet', like Taco Bell, appeals to those seeking spicy freshness in a context of rapid deployment!
In case you haven't noticed, the above paragraphs contained generous portions of sarcasm. In actuality, this adaptation is a dull, botched one, a far cry from say Franco Zeffirelli's stunningly erotic version.
Updating the plays of Shakespeare has obviously occupied the minds of many directors before, but it is a good idea to try to occupy the minds of the audience as well. After all, while this is not the Bard's best play, it unarguably contains his best poetry; that is because the play is also about language, about the difference between what something is and the language used to describe it. Hence, this may be one of the hardest Shakespearean plays to adapt to a modern setting. In part this may be due to the dramatic asides, which broadcast private remarks for all to hear, except the target of the remark, but even more importantly the play suffers from another blessing, which is also a curse: the enormous power of the story itself. Any failure to do it justice is likely to be perceived as monumental. Such is the fate of Luhrmans's film, a poppy and incoherent music video mess. The cast's endeavors to render the Bard's language more relaxed and informal are disastrous, as are the countless Mexican standoffs and gunfights that replace the swordfights of the original play. Danes and DiCaprio are utterly lost here, as is any semblance of sense or continuity. Rather than immersing the audience, the MTV style quickly becomes dull and extremely distracting. Ah, but tell that to the teenyboppers, to whom this thing is basically critic proof! To attempt it is to carelessly stroll into a hedonist orgy in Birkenstock sandals, step on every single bare foot, imbibe all half-finished glasses of Maraschino liqueur, smoke a La Gloria Cubana and engage people in tête-à-tête concerning the European Monetary Union - very silly. They'll just look at you all googly-eyed and inform you that `Leo is sooooooooo hot!'
Bah!