A blah affair

Rating: 5/10 (18 December 2016)

They could have called it Star Wars 3.5: A New Hope for a Billion Bucks. Or maybe Forest Whitaker Goes Nuts Again. Or Diego Luna Hasn't Blown this Hard Since the End of Y Tu Mamá También.
Regardless of its name, this Official Star Wars, ahem, one-off, is an exercise in Star Warsery, Star Warsism, and Star Warsitude. Absent its Star Wars Stamp of Disney Approval, it is a ho-hummer of a film, a sci-fi battledance with a plot fully known beforehand.
We know this sacrificial suicide mission will succeed, because if it fails, there could not have been a Star Wars. That means there is zero suspense, even if you suspend your disbelief during, or shoot up before, your viewing.
Much ado was made about this one-off having no Force. Indeed. This throwaway is basely in search of holiday- time cash, a way to keep the blockbuster behemoth alive and cast down scraps and crumbs upon the feet of fanboys.