Black Friday

Rating: 2/10 (16 December 2016)

You just cant join the rebellion anymore....you're not needed unless you're a metrosexual Euro male with a bad Spanglish accent ,week old GQ stubble and willingness to be upstaged by a Brit Hunger Games girlie bad-ass... giving another tiresome hysterical Oxfordian Shakespearean rebel yell by Felicity Rose Hadley Jones or was it Daisy Jazz Isobel Ridley ?.... The rebellion needs Riddick and what you get is Millennials vs. Gen X minus Harrison Ford and any pale face alpha male that will burn red under the tropical Island sun and poses as a threat ... The CGI lived up to expectations ... The casting was strongly multicultural urban... Forest Whitaker playing the part of Samuel L. Jackson playing the part of Mace Windu...plus Wen Jiang playing Baze Malbus & Riz Ahmed as Bodhi Rook added character depth ...ahhh, who am I fooling they were added to attract the Beijing & urban London crowds. On the plus side the fanboy toy line should be awesome with a new micro machine battleships & frigates ready to join the fleet.
Disney SW fast food of the senses . This McDonald's Cheeseburger of a movie is like the burger you wanted with a two thick Tomatoes & crunchy Pickles...but you got nothing like the commercial trailer had shown so you go home with the colorful greasy sad sack to add the right toppings that should have been there in the first place. That is the Star Wars magic... you're adding the toppings in your mind because you just can't let go of a bygone era, when history had substance & space frigates were made lovingly from real foam/balsa, & not from today's gamer CGI porn pixel dust .
The distant memories of the original trilogy are fading fast ,now cult like pimped by entertainment talking heads aping whatever the profiteering Sheev Palpatine moguls dictate to the masses bellow .Like fake hero Payton Manning pimping beer at the end of the Super Bowl & fairy tale career, it hits you in the gut knowing every soul is for sale ...it's almost as if this was the Rebellion. You've had enough of the Star Wars Universe that was co-opted long ago by the emperors of consumerism. Just go now to goof on & proudly reject the Empire knowing in your heart that you are not alone in the Rebellion.
May the Force be with you