Welcome to Phantom Menace country

Rating: 1/10 (1 January 2017)

I was initially puzzled by the number of glowing reviews of Rogue One by fans and critics alike. Then I remembered that the first stage of grief is denial. Fans desperately want any new Star Wars film to be good and will stifle any doubts to avoid reliving the trauma of the Phantom Menace trilogy. Fair enough.
Unfortunately, the same problems that dogged the latter George Lucas trilogy are here in this film as well. Instead of giving us a fast paced, feel good Sci Fi adventure, we have to sit through a stodgy, self important, overcomplicated mess. Apparently, George Lucas gave this film the thumbs up, which ironically is as good as a kiss of death. Lucas has completely lost touch with what makes a good Star Wars film, which is why Disney paid him $4 billion and freed the franchise from his evil clutches.
The film begins by hopping us about from planet to planet, so that we lose track of where we are. We are introduced to way too many redundant characters and never spend enough time with the main heroes to care about them.
The heroes of the story are dull and unlikeable. Felicity Jones and Diego Luna wear perpetual scowls and lack any chemistry. It felt like the filmmakers considered the idea of a romance between the two and then quickly realised it wouldn't work.
The main villain, played by Ben Mendelsohn, somehow seems smaller than life. Mendelsohn is a fine actor but he gets upstaged twice in the villainy stakes. First by a reanimated Peter Cushing and then by Darth Vader. While we're at it, I'm glad I'm not the only one who is outraged by the digital manipulation of a dead actor's image. I hope they don't have any ideas of doing the same to Alec Guinness in future films.
The final battle on the Imperial base fails to excite. I think they were going for a D Day invasion sort of vibe. Instead, it was like watching a bunch of kids playing cowboys and Indians at the beach. Blind monk and his mate dies, who cares? Pilot dies, who cares? Main heroes die, who cares? Robot dies... well, I kind of liked him.
Star Wars films work best when they are simple action adventure stories. The target audience is young males between 10 and 18 years old. A young George Lucas understood this, so too did J.J. Abrams. The older George Lucas messed up the formula and alienated a whole generation of fans. Gareth Edwards is in danger of driving the Star Wars bus off the same cliff.