Un pour tous, tous pour un

Rating: 1/10 (15 December 2016)

As you are reading this, you are quite probably: 1) a likely viewer of this movie, 2) a recent viewer of this movie. Falling in the category 2) myself, I understand you are probably browsing reviews in order to take comfort you are not alone in thinking that most of the more acclaimed critical reviews are wrong, as what you just watched was a pretentious and unentertaining film. If you are in category 1) I reassure you I will not reveal any plot elements and I wish that my review will at least encourage you towards a critical viewing.
Rogue 1* is pretentious because the authors tried very hard to make the characters appear interesting and nuanced, instead they just come out as ambiguous, confusing and -worst of all- fake. An example can be found in the character of the spy/assassin of the Alliance, a character whose moral changes over the course of the movie according to...plot convenience; fortunately I have watched at least once all the previous SW installments, otherwise I wouldn't have known for half the movie who was I supposed to side for. Pretentious (and annoyingly so) is also the John Williamesque musical score, which is booming in almost every scene of the movie to remind us we are watching SW. And it's really too bad that when the imperial march comes on, it only succeeds to provide evidence that we are watching a parody of the original SW.
The back story of the main character is unoriginal and heartless, her words and rhetorics having such an uninspiring effect that she reminds me of a recent female candidate for the US presidency, who likewise was talking to an imaginative audience which had no correspondence to the real one. I do not think a female lead is, as such, a bad choice - I recall f.e. the empowering performance of Sigourney Weaver in the Alien franchise - but I am convinced, simply out of common sense, that although we might have unisex shirts, jackets and trousers there is no such thing as a unisex character/role. And even though I wouldn't ascribe myself in their ranks I believe that an heroine who behaves exactly as a hero is an insult to the true liberals and the true feminists that Disney is trying so hard to please. I am not going to argument further on this topic as I think I stated my point clearly enough. Quoting a common phrase in Italian: "chi c'è c'è, chi non c'è non c'è", who is here is here, who is not here is not here.
Rogue 1* is unentertaining because it is too complex and it has no heart. The plot in each of the original SW trilogy movies was linear and simple, the dialogues edging often to a ridiculous level of naivety, overall it was a script that could have been written by a kid in junior high. And yet it talked so deeply to our hearts, it possessed such powerful mythology that it became - and understandably so - an object of cult by many. That this movie has lost that naivety and simplicity can be observed already from the absence of a substantial opening crawl, which was fundamental in creating that bonfire-tale effect and in establishing a framework for the plot. Instead the viewer is thrown directly into the plot, a plot so contrived and badly narrated it becomes a pain-staking effort for the viewer to figure out who exactly the characters are and what are the reasons of their actions. In fact, as usual these days, we are served with minimal character development and maximal...Armageddon. How many cathartic scenes can there be in a good movie? 1 or 2, right? At which point of the movie are we supposed to expect such scenes? Towards the end, right? Well it seems that recently most authors (and/or most producers) for the big screen think they should cram as many cathartic moments as the length of the movie allows. And once this path is taken not even a Diane Keaton or an Al Pacino (let alone this new generation of actors, who are to older generations what production line workers are to experienced artisans) could help keeping character consistency from flying out the window. The result is that I found myself laughing sarcastically at scenes that could otherwise have kept me at the edge of my seat, simply because the empathy stakes were non-existent.
In conclusion I would like to add that this is my first and only review on IMDb, which I decided to write as I consider Rogue 1 to be a perfect example of what is wrong with Hollywood blockbuster movies nowadays, thus the title "One for all, all for one".