"It's like everyday you learn something new and everyday I forget something new."

Rating: 5/10 (7 July 2015)

Fifth Rocky movie has the Oscar-winning director of the first film, John G. Avildsen, returning to the series. There's nothing Oscar-worthy about this one, though. It's the worst Rocky movie hands down. There are things in it worth seeing for fans of the series but, ultimately, it's not very good. While he doesn't direct this time, Sylvester Stallone does once again write the screenplay. He attempts to return Rocky to his roots, no doubt hoping it would recapture the magic of the first Rocky film. He accomplishes this by having Rocky suffer brain damage from the Ivan Drago fight in Rocky IV (not unrealistic given the superhuman way Drago was portrayed in that film). Due to his injury he talks like a moron and can no longer fight professionally. To make matters worse, he loses his fortune and is now broke. So Rocky, Adrian, and Paulie return to the crummy Philadelphia neighborhood where they started out in the first film. Like I said, the hope was obviously to put the pieces back in place where they were at the start and hope for more magic. There is no magic here, unfortunately.
The story has Rocky coaching an up-and-coming fighter named Tommy Gunn, played by real-life boxer (and supposed grandnephew of John Wayne) Tommy Morrison. Rocky mentors Tommy but neglects his own son (played by Stallone's son Sage). As Rocky realizes the mistakes he's made, Tommy is turned against his mentor by flamboyant boxing promoter George Washington Duke (Richard Gant). Inevitably this leads to a climactic fight between Rocky and Tommy. This time the fight takes place on the streets of Philadelphia, not in a boxing ring.
The biggest problem (but not the only one) with this movie is the acting. Tommy Morrison is an absolutely terrible actor. Just awful. He has a constipated look on his face in every scene and his line delivery is cringeworthy. Richard Gant hams it up as the Don King-inspired Duke character. He's just completely over-the-top and grates on the nerves very quickly. He does seem to be having more fun than anyone else in this, though. Sage Stallone does a decent job. Probably wasn't easy making his film debut opposite his superstar dad in a successful franchise. So points to him for doing as well as he did. His character is much older than he was in Rocky IV, by the way. Talia Shire and Burt Young phone their parts in. Sly seems to be parodying himself at times but still provides the movie with its heart. Burgess Meredith returns to the series for a flashback cameo and outclasses everybody else by a mile. His brief appearance is the best part of the movie.
Bill Conti returns to provide music after missing Rocky IV. His score is good but the soundtrack of hip-hop songs, including the wretched "Go For It," is weak. The final fight is exciting despite it not fitting in with the "if Rocky fights again he'll die" diagnosis given at the beginning of the film. I suppose the series had been increasingly depressing with the last two films killing off beloved characters, but the action and upbeat tone of the second halves of both of those films made it easier to take. This one is drab and ugly and, in the end, Rocky wins nothing more than meaningless bragging rights among the slack-jawed hoods cheering him on in a back alley brawl.