Theory of Rocky

Rating: 9/10 (9 September 2019)

I stayed up all night watching every Rocky movie ever made and came up with a theory about the movie franchise:
After the 1st Apollo Creed fight Rocky was so badly injured that he slipped into a coma and every sequel is really a fever dream his damaged brain devised as a coping mechanism.
The reality is that Rocky is still unconscious and wallows away in an assisted-living facility in downtown Philly. Mickey took the prize check from the fight and ran off with Adrian. They live happily-married down in Costa Rica. Pauly stuck around and drinks away Rocky's disability checks. The real loser in this entire story is Butkus the dog. Pauly fed it a Thanksgiving turkey and the poor mutt choked on a wishbone.
Rocky's only contact with the outside world are the nurses, who really pity the fool. The Russian male nurse who works the night shift likes to sneak into Rocky's room and softly whisper in his ear, "I must break you."
Apollo Creed retired from boxing and joined the CIA. He disappeared in the jungles of South America while pursuing communist rebels. Rumors persist a trophy-hunting space alien killed him.
All of this is more plausible than the atrocious boxing scenes where human beings get battered in the head hundreds of times without making any attempts at blocking the blows.