Just Lame

Rating: 1/10 (3 January 2008)

What's wrong with you people? You currently have this movie rated higher than both previous installments of the series. I've done what I can to right things by awarding it one more star than it deserves (even though I know it won't make a dent). I would definitely rank Extinction last in the series thus far with Apocalypse by far the best. You guys have Apocalypse ranked LAST in the series! LAST! It was infinitely better than this tripe. It was better than the first one.
Okay, I've checked the spoiler box (the irony was well noted) so here goes: I was intrigued by the opening (remake?) sequence, but began to worry as the camera swept over the ditch full of Alices. How well preserved they were. Wouldn't Umbrella like, dig a hole and cover them up or burn them or something? You're not supposed to be thinking about things like this when you're watching a movie. You should be taken along for a ride...not questioning the production values of the producers, the intelligence of the writers or the competence of the director. I did all that throughout this film.
I'll be honest, I love Milla. I'm probably not alone here. I love the games, too, but for me Milla looking great and kicking ass has been a huge draw with this series. Am I alone here? So, yeah we get this short (remake?) glimpse of our muse el buffo and then briefly in that skimpy red dress that we know and love (but really, we've seen this) but for the rest of the film she's decked out in thirty pounds of designer spaghetti western garb. HUH? Let's take this ultra hot bona-fide action heroine and cover up every inch of her glorious body except her airbrushed face. Who's idea was that? Which brings me to the subject of Jill Valentine. It's been discussed at length on these pages and pointed out repeatedly that her absence could have been easily explained with a few lines of dialogue. Don't the fans DESERVE at least that much. I say NO! This particular fan felt he had the right to expect no less than Sienna Guillory to reprise her fantastic portrayal and her very embodiment of the character Jill Valentine. Lucky for Ms. Guillory, ultimately, that she had no part of this mess.
So anyway, there's this loooooonnngg boooorrriinngg stretch where they're in the desert and I started getting drunk, but I remember hoping and believing so hard that the movie would get better....that IT DID! Finally, at the end, I think. But it wasn't enough to erase the horrible memories of what these sadistic filmmakers had previously dragged me through. At least it was over, though.
And it could've been worse. I could have bought this DVD (I own copies of the first two RE films on DVD). But I didn't buy this one, I rented it. AND I took it back the next morning earning me a $1 credit to my account. So I guess Sienna Guillory and I both came out on top here.
And those CGI crows were just lame.
KA 1/3/2008