Makes 'Ultraviolet' look Oscar-worthy

Rating: 1/10 (12 January 2008)

Wow, this is probably the worst movie I have ever seen. I am so glad I didn't see this in theaters and watched it on DVD at home instead.
This movie was so poor I could nearly predict what a character was going to say before they said it, and when they said it it was straight out of another film. Additionally, every scene in the movie is a scene I swear I've seen somewhere else before, or I knew exactly what was going to happen (although there are some unpredictable demises). The writers in this movie are the absolute worst writers I have ever seen in the industry, period, and they make more money than me- unbelievable. There was zero plot development, maybe even negative plot development, because every character you get introduced to is quickly reduced to a cardboard cutout. The two characters you expect to see a lot of- Claire and K-Mart have one line of character development/ introduction each. I feel like I know that guy in the Ziploc commercial better. When I thought this movie was going to redeem itself with an ending (Alice going underground), it just unraveled at the seams with the worst climactic ending ever filmed. When I realized it was the end, and that was the grand finale, I just stared at my screen in disbelief and shock. Even as I write this I cannot believe an end sequence that lame is even possible.
There are some positives- one of the action scenes is actually done pretty well, showing Milla Jovovich at her best, and well, that's about it. Oh yeah, Milla Jovovich doesn't wear a bra underneath her paper-thin tank top. That's a plus.
Please, don't see this film.