Why Do Zombies Make the Lights Flicker?

Rating: 4/10 (24 September 2007)

I went to see this with little expectations. It is, after all, Resident Evil. From the trailer, they make it look like there will be some crazy Zombie action in Vegas. No. Don't believe it. Little use is made of Vegas at all. No, that might have made an interesting setting. And since the Resident Evil makers want to stick to their "We Shall Make Sucky Films" policy, the majority of the film is set in a sprawling desert, sometimes flowing with sand and sometimes composed entirely of CG.
The special effects are decent, but the incredible lack of story. It was like they were holding back every time the script started to get exciting. An hour into the movie I was crushing popcorn on the littered floor to amuse myself.
The ending was extremely anti-climactic. You spend the entire movie watching your heroine kick zombies to high heaven and then the final battle was ridiculously lame. Not to mention that somehow, a single zombie managed to paint all the walls with dripping blood. Gallons and gallons of blood were all over every wall. It looked like the scene of a Dick Cheney hunting excursion.
I will probably never see this movie again. It definitely wasn't any good, and it wasn't horrible enough to amuse me. So this is a lose-lose situation. It definitely won't garner any academy awards, unless they come up with the new category of "Best Nudity While Floating in a Womb-Like Bubble".
Don't waste your money.