Only suitable for the braindead.

Rating: 6/10 (15 September 2004)

First off, if you're reading my comments you need to know: I loved the first Resident Evil film, and know all about the videogames (although I'm rubbish at them, and couldn't care less if the movies 'stick to the plot').
Right then, here we go - Resident Evil 2 is the victim of more bad directing decisions (and lack of talent) than Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace.
In fact, Jar Jar Binks had better lines than Milla did in this one - and a deeper character.
I don't want to criticise the cast & crew too much, because RE2 fills all the boxes on looking good - but the (first time feature-length) director Alexander Witt deserves all the stinging criticism you can throw, with lesser vitriol directed towards the people in charge of Sound, Editing and (apologies to Paul Thomas Anderson), the utterly abysmal script. The plot is no better or worse than the first one; it's the execution that stinks to high Heaven.
I'm used to seeing films screened for a media crowd - people who would sell their Grandmother and throw in their own sister to 'hit target', who know (and care) absolutely nothing about films, and see no shame in asking a row of people to 'shove along' 5 minutes into the movie because they've been sitting in the bar and couldn't be bothered to come and take a seat. They are scum. And even they laughed along with me throughout this pile of unmitigated nonsense calling itself a sequel.
I don't want to ruin the film for you (the Director has done a fine job of that himself) and I'm not going to tell you to avoid this at all costs, because I ignored the same advice myself.
So, in the style of the film, here's a few random thoughts: Milla and Sienna are both gorgeous, but it's hard to keep a straight face when you see what they're dressed in, or how 'hard' they think they are, or the absurd stunts, moves and decisions they make all the way through the film. (special mention for Sienna, who would surely want to leave her performance - if you can call it that - off any future CV). Oded Fehr carries a lot of weight in this film; problem is it's on his face. Old chubby-cheeks makes the most ludicrous entrance, and you can't help thinking that somewhere in Raccoon City there's a kebab shop with nobody behind the till. The top Umbrella scientist had me howling with laughter, like a bad Stephen Hawking joke, and the evil Umbrella leader-guy suffers from a comedy-Euro accent. The zombies are just poor; badly lit and directed, as if they only had make-up for a dozen, and new extras drafted in on a daily basis. Unusually, the comedy relief character is actually amusing from time-to-time. The monsters are rubbish - three lickers left over from RE1 (in the most outrageously terrible, over-the-top 'fight in a church' I've ever seen), a handful of demon Dobermanns (also left over from #1) only now even less intelligent, and the big reason for the sequel - Nemesis, who appears in a sequence which was surely left on the cutting-room floor from Terminator 2 (and for good reason). I've been more scared by things that have come out my nostrils, and if you're going to have 'super talents' including super-jumps TRY not to make it look like the actor is on a trampoline. There was a lot of talk about Milla's 'running down a building' bit. Well, Pierce Brosnan has done it way better in Bond, and in fact it's not a patch on that jeans advert where the boy & girl crash through walls and then run out into the sky. And - skipping to the end - Alice vs Nemesis is poor, followed by a blatant (and totally over-extended) setup for a third sequel (think what they did to Ripley for Alien3). At least we got to see Milla naked again, which seems to be the obligatory book-end of these Resi films - something I am in favour of. Perhaps the worst thing of all is that (a) there is virtually no gore or horror (who the hell do they think the audience for this film is??) and (b) the MTV editing and idiot-level direction kill any flow or interest in any & every fighting scene. Did I mention that even pets would be able to follow this film, given the constant and embarrassing exposition - either through 'futuristic graphics', or trite dialogue.
My God this film is bad. By all means see it, but don't say I didn't warn you.