"Atheists will rejoice, as this is finally proof that there is no God."

Rating: 1/10 (12 September 2004)

Paul W. S. Anderson appears to be on a steady decline. Whereas the original Resident Evil (2002) was entertaining, his recent screenplays, Alien vs Predator (2004), which he also directed, and Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) have been so flawed that it would not be self-indulgent to call them trash.
And it /is/ the screenplay that's at fault here. Witt's direction, while nothing spectacular, isn't particularly disagreeable. Similarly, the acting is up to the usual Hollywood standards. (Milla Jovovich, bless her little heart, deserved better than to be in this flick.) No, the problem is Anderson's preposterous, cliché-ridden, oft nonsensical script.
SPOILERS
For no discernible reason, Milla's character comes crashing through a stained-glass window, riding a motorcycle, no less, just in time to save the day. The group then walks through a graveyard when they know for a fact that the dead are being reanimated--and that's to say nothing of the impossibility of all those decaying corpses just standing up out of six feet of solidly packed dirt. Alas, willing suspension of disbelief can only do so much before the mind suddenly disengages and the illusion is lost.
/SPOILERS
It's impossible to enjoy the film for its action sequences and cool special effects when every horrible one-liner ("Bite this!") snaps you back into reality and every plot absurdity makes your brain ache. Sure, there were brief moments, few and far between, when I thought, Hey, that's kinda cool. Unfortunately they didn't make up for the rest of the movie, during which I had to will myself not to leave. And if I /had/ left, I wouldn't have seen the completely unnecessary nudity!
At the moment of this review, Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) has a rating of 6.0. Atheists will rejoice, as this is finally proof that there is no God.
I beg Paul "Worthless Sh*t" W. S. Anderson to stop writing. Or, if it comes down to it, someone please pay him not to unleash his mind-numbing creations upon the unsuspecting public.
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) :: ½/**** :: 0.5 out of 4 Stars