Henry and Krist survived Resident Evil: Apocalypse

Rating: Null/10 (30 June 2013)

"You might say bigger, but can we say better? What do you think?" Henry turned to Kristl.
Kristl was hanging slack jawed in the corner of the couch. She was wearing grungy jeans, tank top, sleeveless jacket everything in dark grey, black and white colors. Her Jacket was adorned with button pins of music bands from the eighties:The Cure , Violent Femmes, New wave, London Calling,Beastie Boys. He felt awkward because under the angle she was lying he noticed the shape of a breast. .
"Hey, wake up!" He shook Kristl's arm.
"Hmmm?"
"So?"
"What?"
"Resident Evil. Apocalypse? You know the movie we have been watching?"
"Oh yes", Kristl veered up, "I bet a lot of people will make funny jokes with that.. Like Apocalypse for the senses. Or Apocalypse for the brain."
"So you didn't like it?"
"It tries very hard to be unliked. As much as it tries to be liked."
"I thought the more bangs and babes worked well. That female cop was a cool and hot chick. Also I liked the supporting cast more. That soldier Carlos with his Russian sidekick. They seemed to have a little bit more personality. Albeit that black American was too much cast as the comic relief. "
"But the whole movie is ramshackle in it's consistency. The plot is a major problem. They know about the t-virus, but they open the hive with a few armed guards. The SUV gets hit by a truck without any explanation, so the kid is stuck in the city. It was just a weird accident. The dead in the graveyard animate. How? And why exactly at that moment they are there? The whole church scene. The zombie dogs in the school. The wall around the city. The worst is the epilogue. Umbrella detonates a nuclear missile above the city and passes that off as a nuclear meltdown. You can't pass one off for the other because the explosion pattern is completely different. And if they want people to believe it was a nuclear meltdown of a power plant, there had to be one there, so why did they not blow that one up?"
"Basically. the movie is sequence of action scenes. Personally I liked those and that is why people should watch them,but it simply lacks everything that makes the matrix good: a well developed plot and characters you care about. Even underworld has more likable characters and a better plot."
"Yeah, the plot and the acting was just put in as an afterthought. A shame really as the games actually seemed to have much more consistency. At least from what I read." Kristl said, "Maybe they should just stick to those plot lines instead of making their own."
"You know. That Jill Valentine. I liked her better than Alice. Not because she is prettier but because she is a human that can be hurt unlike Alice. The thing is I liked everyone more: Carlos L. J. the news person. They are all humans and all lose people and all can be hurt. Unlike Alice."
"Personally I have had it with all the cool chicks that have hardly any personality. This includes Jill Valentine. What person walks into a police station and starts blowing away people like that.. People might have thought that was cool. I thought it was cringe-worthy. And I am tired of the same old tricks: like whenever someone approaches a person from behind that person is ALWAYS a monster that turns around suddenly and lunges at you. And always when they kill one monster after a desperate struggle and you think it is over, the next one or two appear." Kristl said.
"So you didn't like Alice?"
"Nope. I didn't care for her one bit and I was baffled those people, Carlos, Jill and L. J. came to save her. I could not believe why they would do so. And even more: how come that umbrella organization that is so highly effective in covering up the zombie outbreak, is unable to stop three people that are wanted from taking Alice away. And don't say Umbrella wanted that, because this is only shown when they leave. And why? No explanation given."
"Curiously. I somehow feel you are right. If she had a little bit more personality and was less the super being that is cool. Then maybe, yeah."
"That is probably the best way to describe the movie."
"Huh?"
"Maybe yeah."