Hilarious

Rating: Null/10 (9 March 2005)

Okay, let's start by saying that the movie has a great premise: Evil corporation builds its own town, accidentally turns everyone in the town into zombies, and then decides to use the accident as a free research opportunity. Let's also say that in theory black, unmarked SUV's going into pleasant suburban neighborhoods and picking up high-level employees and their families is cool/creepy, as is the idea of the city being locked-down for quarantine. All right, all the legitimately interesting points of this movie are on the table.
Now let's say that the acting is atrocious, the special effects are a cheesy, the "bad-assedness" of the slick production is over-the-top and hilarious, the editing is jarring and commercial-fast, and the movie pays tribute to its video-game roots with silly characterization, techno-infused action set pieces (which weren't part of the Resident Evil video games to begin with), and acting - at least on Sienna Guillory's part - that is taken straight from a video game character.
Watching this movie, any number of questions spring to mind, like: Why is Jill Valentine wearing stiletto heels in her first shot? If the mansion incident just took place, how was there time for her to - evidently - learn about the zombies and be disciplined for killing them? How did the movie manage to foul up the prospect of a school filled with zombie children and render them totally un-scary? Why, if they had zombie dogs, did no one spring off a wall and kick one Matrix-style? And why does anyone think it's a good idea to fight flesh-eating zombies in tight, revealing tops? For that matter, why are all of Umbrella's special-ops soldiers Russian (I realize this is taken from the video game "Resident Evil 3", but it still doesn't make sense)? Why does the movie use its sole black character, with his blinged-out handguns, for comic effect? Why didn't Paul W.S. Anderson direct this one (not because it would have had any effect on the quality, just that scripting AND directing this thing would've cemented IL' Paul's reputation as the Number One Hack of the new millennium - of course, he did make "AVP") And, for godsake, WHY DO THE CORPSES IN THE GRAVEYARD COME BACK TO LIFE (again, I realize this is taken from the video game, but someone should have exercised some common zombie sense: even if the corpses in the graveyard came back to life, they'd have a hell of a time busting out of their coffins, out of the stone vaults that enclose coffins in most cemeteries, and digging through six feet of mud - they're DEAD for godsake!)? This is definitely an entertaining movie: After the two hours was over I didn't feel cheated. It's good that someone makes movies this terrible; they're hilarious without trying. When Carlos jumps out of a helicopter on a safety harness with two uzis, it's almost as hilariously over-the-top as the sequence in which Milla Jovovich 1) drives a motorcycle through a stained-glass window 2) aims it at a monster, revs up, and jumps off 3) fires two bullets that travel in slow motion toward the motor cycle and 4) ignite the gas tank, destroying the monster and leaving Milla free to 5) squish another monster with the giant crucifix over the altar. It's indescribably funny; it's the horrific, bastard, mutant child of all the post-Matrix techno-kitsch that's dominated action movies in the last five years. The real joy of this movie is that it's the same kind of spliced-together, reanimated monster as its principle villain, the Nemesis; just as alternately lumbering and hyperactive, just as polished in its nastiness, and just as much fun to watch.