No plot, no acting, no suspense, but a lot of eye candy

Rating: 3/10 (27 December 2004)

The title says it all really.
The acting was amongst the worst I've ever seen, and I've seen quite a few crappy movies in my time.
Not even a shimmer of acting by any of the actors. I simply have to assume the audition went something like this. For the male actors: "Can you walk? Can you wear clothes? What? Never acted before? Doesn't matter, you're hired". For the women: "Can you walk? Do you mind wearing scant clothes? Never acted before? No problem, we'll give you some drivel to spit out since acting isn't a pre-req for this 'kind' of movie".
I did like the eye candy, I admit, both the props and the sexy women. However, when they have less than zero (negative) acting capacity, one just wants to demand the money back, or for the theater / producer to pay me for wasting two hours on cinematic suffering.
The Plot then.. Well, it was thin as ice. It took me until the middle of the movie before I though I might possibly have perceived what the story was about: Getting out of a doomed city. Short version of the film: Blam Blam Blam, one liners ala: "Me get wood", "Bit me" and for some odd reason a lost Harry Potter side kick "Oye, a thought upon me stuck, where be thee Elves"!?
Don't get me started on the awful camera and editing of the fight scenes. The zeleot who edited this clip EDITED AWAY with all the fights. The only thing one sees is someone having a huge problem holding a camera still!! This really bugs me, since if they at least had had an average camera guy, the fight scenes might have turned this movie from god awful to below average (the props and special effects were nice, so at least I could've gotten an OK fighting movie out of it).
As it unfortunately stands, I'd have to rate it a 3/10.