Resident Evil 2/ Paul S. Anderson needs to die. SLOWLY.

Rating: 1/10 (2 June 2005)

So tonight I was in a mood for pain, and boy did Resident Evil2 meet my needs. The only cool highlights of seeing the movie were a reference to GTA3 (Thereby cementing the fact that the movie needs to steal from better things to survive), and a preview for a much scarier looking film : White Noise. This one looks wicked creepier than the film I actually went to see. I won't even talk about acting because it is like shooting fish in a barrel. On a related note, why was everyone so eager to see the character of Jill Valentine? She was hot and all and wore mini-skirts, but reeked of that horrible Tomb Raider movie and was about as bland and expressionless as a mannequin.
There were no scares because I could predict everything that was supposed to scare us about 2 minutes before it happened. They were all of the lowest "BOO" quality because no one knew how to properly build tension in the movie. The zombies were drunks with a biting problem. It's impossible to believe they can take over an entire city when they can't even walk straight. The sub baddies (lickers and zombie dogs) should've gotten more screen time as they WERE kinda cool. Nemesis at first was cool but then got lamer and lamer as the movie went on. The script was totally illogical. Would it be too much trouble for Paul S. Anderson to at least make us think there is a chance in hell of say, an ending? Not necessarily a good one, but an ending? Does he know how to do anything but make bad movies that demand sequels? I bet he took about half an hour to whip up the story for this. I'd bet even more that I could whip up a better movie story to this than he could. At least he didn't have the funny black guy die. I could go on, but you get the idea. This gets a D-.