Walks a fine line between Cool and Retarded

Rating: Null/10 (17 September 2004)

You know, for once, i would like a movie based on something i hold near and dear to my heart to be made with some dignity and respect.
Yet, this still hasn't come true.
I went into Resident Evil 2 with low expectations. After seeing the first one, and it being HUGE LET DOWN (im a fan of the games, hold em near and dear) Cinematicly, i didn't have huge expectations for this one. But, man, i never knew something could fall so hard, so fast.
Resident Evil 2 ( i not even bothing with the lame subname) Is at some times a cool movie. But those cool scenes are few and VERY FAR. The problem with the cool scenes is that it quickly becomes INCREDIBLY STUPID and LAME.
EXAMPLE (this might be a spoiler to some)
the characters are in a Graveyard. Zombies start coming out of the graves, there every were. The characters start pumping bullets into the zombies. When they start running out, Alice starts going Kung Fu on the zombies and Some how kills all of them by kicking and breaking their necks (which not only is stupid, but inconsistent, as it was laid out early on that the zombies can only be killed by a Wound I.E. a shot to the brain. You can snap their necks, but by all means, they should still be going)
Basically, its a poorly made film. Its not a Horror film by any means as there are little scares (the only one is a cheap SOUND scare when a tanker hits a car and it makes a loud "BOOM" in the theater) but it also is a very poor action film.
How so.
1. The make up effects are just god awful. Nemisis, who is suppose to be this UBER BAD ASS MONSTER, looks like a cheap holloween costume. When he first shows up, the make up looked fine, but towards the end of the film, it looks like the makeup artist simply gave up and just made a big mask for the actor to wear. That, and that Nemisis is suppose to be almost 8 foot tall, but in some scenes, he's barely over 6 and a half feet. The zombies are just plain crap. The "NEW" zombies, or just recently dead zombies, look like actors with powder sugar on their face. The old ones are OK.
2.The shotty editing. To much quick cutting in the wrong places, and its very over used.
3. The SCRIPT. This movie PROVES that Paul Anderson should NOT BE MAKING FILMS (or at least writing them) I mean, the man made Mortal Kombat 1, and he managed to get that right, so why cant he do it with this game, it should be so simple. Like every thing else of his after mortal kombat, it reeks of Horrible dialoge, Lame, halfed ass character who don't know what the hell their doing half the time except going around and trying to do something BAD ASS in EVERY SINGLE SCEEN that they are in. ALICE ( and i profess a love for Milla) is the WORST action star out there. She was good in 5th element, but the thing that made her good in that was she was hot and she said almost NO lines, especially in English. Jill and Carlos, after playing resident Evil 3 the game, its like shooting an arrow through my chest. Nothing good about them at all. All of the Dialoge is corny as hell (the one good line out the film that actually put a smile on my face was said by the token black guy who refers to another popular game)
So where to place the blame for his heap of a mess, PAUL ANDERSON. Man cant write, (watch Alien vs. Predator and tell me he can) the poor director of this garbage must cry at night for having to do this junk. Yet, the American Populace ATE IT RIGHT UP. So what dose that say, well it says America Loves Crap for Movies (how do you explain Fast and the Furious, or..You go Served *shudders* making $$$$) so of course, we'll see more of tripe like this.
Movies are dead. After seeing this, i have lost a lot of faith in movies, and mankind it self. Please, don't bother seeing this, save your 90 minutes and do something useful with it, like take a walk, or pet a puppy.