Yaaaaawn

Rating: 3/10 (14 February 2011)

OK let me get this straight I've never been a big fan of the Resident Evil movies. But the third installment was actually pretty decent so I decided to give this movie a try. Big mistake.
Even when taken at face value, as mindless eye candy, this movie fails to deliver in nearly every way. I don't mind that there is next to no story or that the characters are flat as hell. I do mind that it's slow, ponderous, poorly made, and just plain dull.
One half of the movie seems to consist of slow and long shots of well..absolutely nothing. Empty rooms, empty ships, empty meadows full of planes..then a zombie pops up, eats somebody, and the whole thing starts all over. Even the death scenes, normally the highlights of this kind of movie, are so short and unremarkable that if you blink at the wrong time, you miss them.
In between there is some "action" which doesn't really live up to the name because it's nearly all in slow motion and so over-stylized that is takes away any kind of thrill or suspense. It looks good in stills but it's just not very interesting to watch and the effects are mediocre. All of this set to a the most generic industrial techno soundtrack in living history and all of it trying desperately hard to be "cool"..except that this kind of stuff stopped being cool even before the Matrix sequels.
My advice: stick to the trailer. It contains all the cool shots and good lines, and you will save yourself 80 minutes of nonsensical and boring wanna-be coolness.