Seen the trailer, seen it all

Rating: 6/10 (16 September 2010)

There I was at the theatre and on an impulse decision bought tickets because the film did well at the box office. This is the same kind of impulse that makes you go and buy a hamburger to get quick and short relief, after which you completely forget about it. It's kind of the same with Resident Evil: Afterlife (2D).
You get garish effects (sort of like a "best of" collection from other flics), cardboard characters that are fleshed out so basically that when they turn sideways you can see the stand that supports them, a plot so minimal it doesn't bother to explain why some things occur (where do the petal-mouthed guys come from? who the hell is that hooded giant with the anime weapon?) and the longest drawn-out slo-mo you can get for the money of one ticket.
Sure, Milla is always nice to look at and we silently cheer her on as she goes on yet another killing spree but often times I not only had to suspend disbelief (the topic already demanded that) but to actively shut off the brain to enjoy some of the more impossible shenanigans.
There is no comic relief in this one, and that's probably because there's no real tension either. Yes, it has the few obligatory jumps but mainly because the scenes are cut so short that when a zombie says "boo" he's already snagged somebody and disappeared again before you can say "argh!".
Nope, the movie is too disjointed and characters as much as villains are too weak to care for them or hate them enough. Movie fast-food which goes down smoothly, but is ultimately tasteless. Enjoy your hamburger, but don't complain afterwards when you feel guilty. Again. 6.5/10