Should I have known? Probably...

Rating: 3/10 (8 November 2010)

Sixty million dollars. This is more money than 99.99% of the world's population will ever see in their lives, probably. And the producers don't even take the time to look at the episode in the "saga" that came before... Apparently this film is supposed to be a sequel to the last Resident Evil movie, and some things appear to build on that story... But if you look at "Resident Evil: Extinction" (much to the horror of the producers, some people may actually REMEMBER that one) especially the beginning of that movie, you will see that the people who made this boring and unoriginal sequel hold nothing but contempt for their audience.
I see it now... How this all came into being...
PRODUCER: We should open with... (takes drag from suspicious cigarette) a scene where Alice is flipping and flopping and taking out guards in swat gear. All in slow motion! And you should see pillars... Yeah; pillars at the end, all shot to pieces. Wow, I hope this place isn't bugged, because all this is so original someone might steal it.
DIRECTOR: I think that scene is from Matrix.
PRODUCER: And the bullets she shoots should make like, uhm... Cool traces in the air. In slow motion.
DIRECTOR: That may also be from Matrix. Look, why don't we take a couple of thousand and hire a script writer?
PRODUCER: What are you talking about? I'm having a stroke of genius right now! There should also be a mall, no a prison, or something, that is all surrounded by zombies... And the zombies are trying to get in.
DIRECTOR: That may be from Dawn of the Dead.
PRODUCER: What are you talking about you curmudgeon? This is all original thought right here! We don't need any script. Just take all this I'm saying and wing it... David Lynch never needs a script... Like, we should have this scene on a roof. And there are lots of zombies. And Milla, she catches a machine gun that is thrown to her. In slow motion.
DIRECTOR: Why!?
PRODUCER: Because can you think of anything cooler than Milla Jovovich catching a machine gun in slow motion?
DIRECTOR: (Sighs deeply) Maybe a huge zombie with a giant axe?
PRODUCER: You know I just thought of something.
DIRECTOR: What?
PRODUCER: You know I'm just free-wheeling right now. Shooting from the hip. Swimming with the flow. I'm just thinking, stop me if I'm out on a limb right now. I see a zombie. It MAY be really huge. Perhaps, just perhaps its within the realm of possibility... If it doesn't hurt the suspension of disbelief... that it has a giant axe. You have to put that in the film. That's it. A huge zombie with a giant axe. I think we've nailed it.
DIRECTOR: Also we could perhaps make it like a in-house joke that Milla has ammo clips that never run out?
PRODUCER: Nah. I don't like cynical references like that. Maybe we can just assume that the bullets in the clips are really, really small so a lot of them fit in there. Only you don't see that. Because the clips themselves are sort of opaque, so you CAN'T see through the metal.