A horror movie with no scares, and one of the dullest "action" movies I've ever endured.

Rating: Null/10 (29 December 2002)

Making movies based on video games is A BAD IDEA. There, I've stated the obvious. Obvious to most of us maybe, but apparently not Hollywood, who despite the fact that there has NEVER been a good one made, have done it yet again. 'Resident Evil' is "inspired" by the popular zombie butt-kicking game of the same name. A game I have never played, and after sitting through this tedious, overblown bore, never ever will. Okay, to be fair, I've been told that the movie bears little resemblance to the game. I really couldn't care less. As a movie it stinks. Obviously taking the overrated but still enjoyable 'The Matrix' as its model, 'Resident Evil' totally lacks any of the excitement and freshness of the latter movie. I think you just have to look at Paul "B.S." Anderson's CV to work out the reason why. The movie combines action and horror in such a way as to be both frenetic and dull simultaneously, and without any chills or thrills whatsoever. To make a zombie movie with absolutely NO horror in quite an achievement. Milla Jovovich best known for the dreadful sci fi mess 'The Fifth Element' is not someone who I hold a torch for. She has only been in one good movie to date ('Dazed And Confused'), and I can hardly remember who she played in it. She is without doubt a beautiful woman, but I can't think of any other reason to praise her. Milla's sidekick is played by the spunky Michelle Rodriguez who impressed me in her debut 'Girlfight', but who has made lame action movies ever since. Her character here is a walking cliche, a kick ass tough talking Latina seemingly cloned from the one played by Jenette Goldstein in James Cameron's 'Aliens', a movie which is ten times more exciting than this. The only other actor I recognized in the cast was Eric Mabius ('Welcome To The Dollhouse'), but hell, I was battling to stay awake throughout. I nearly gave up after the first twenty minutes, but decided I must at least watch until the supposedly "classic" doberman scene, which turned out to a snooze. After that things didn't get any better. If you want to see a genuinely scary zombie movie try some Romero or Fulci classics, or the underrated 'Living Dead At Manchester Morgue', and if you want to see a thrilling and engrossing SF death trap thriller go no further than 'Cube' (or pick up a copy of Algis Budrys' classic 'Rogue Moon'). If you want to play Resident Evil play Resident Evil, just don't bother sitting through this garbage. My Mum always said that watching TV will rot your brain, and if this movie is in your DVD or video playing I say she's hit the nail on the head!