Milla Jovovovovovich's thunder thighs as sign of genre decay

Rating: Null/10 (28 March 2002)

They are rather blockish--though not so noisome, in one's attempt
to sop up Lara Croftian porno/violent kicks, as the perpetual On
Our Backs-covergirl lip-sneer of Michelle Rodriguez, who peaked
with the poster for GIRLFIGHT and has not changed a whit since.
Video games traffic in magics of geography. Movies shpritz
together an alchemy of character, story, and "the privileged
moment." They are generally not about going from room to room to
room to room (and when they are, the results are as bad as FOUR
ROOMS or RUN LOLA RUN).
This one starts out as a creepy anti-corporate number (quick
studies of CAPRICORN ONE and THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR are evident) and then turns into some zany, Fulci-as-Xbox high
gore style as characters are literally made into mincemeat with
lasers and attacked by (why didn't anyone else think of this?)
zombie dogs.
Then it just gets dumb, dumber, dumbest; the movie has the
distinction of featuring the worst zombie performances in any
movie ever. The bug-eyed Italians in CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD
are Burt Lancaster in THE LEOPARD by way of contrast.