Rat-a-phooey!

Rating: 2/10 (21 January 2008)

La ratatouille niçoise is a vegetable stew. Its name comes from "ratouiller" ("to shake") and "tatouiller" ("to stir"). That Brad Bird tries to pass off ratatouille as a casserole should tell you exactly what he thinks of those silly enough to shill out their money for his latest "masterpiece"!
But Bird-Brain lost me WAY before that! How does Remy know how to read? How can he identify foods he's never stuffed in his face? Granny blasts the holy hell out of her house to try to blast Remy and Emile to kingdom come?! Come on! And Remy just happens to wash up at his idol's restaurant? How convenient!
If someone doesn't claim to be Gusteau's progeny within two years of his death, the place goes to Skinner. Huh? Gusteau (or at least his ghost) is shocked to learn that he actually has progeny (given just how porky this pig is, that really IS a shock)! It won't take a genius to figure out that Linguini is The Chosen One, but why would his mother disclose this to Skinner instead of to Gusteau's lawyer?
When The Chosen One doesn't give Remy the credit he thinks he deserves at the press conference, he lets the colony have at the food! Having learned his "lesson", The Chosen One lets Ego in on who made his delicious ratatouille! All of this is beyond dumb!
Which brings up another plot-hole-you-can-drive-a-tank-through: after the press conference, Linguini forces Remy to take a "time out". Remy returns to the restaurant, but after it's closed. How did Linguini manage to cook that night without Remy? Don't ask Bird-Brain that, or his little pinhead will explode!
Ball-Busting-Bitch Colette falls for Girly-Man Linguini? LOL! The less said about the other idiotic clichés Bird-Brain tries to pass off as characters, the better.
I can't believe the praise the critics heaped on this given the pretentious screed Bird-Brain shoehorns into Ego's review. The film looks spectacular, but, as Uncle Walt's ghost would have told Bird-Brain, the "100% Animated" tag he obnoxiously tacks on at the end does not mean 100% CGI!