"Red." A Romantic Comedy for Guys

Rating: 8/10 (15 October 2010)

Let's get this on the table now, I am an American man. I like red meat, apple pie, baseball and women who are armed and dangerous. I ask for nothing more. Well, one more thing, if one of those armed and dangerous women could also have been a recipient of an Oscar for portraying the Queen of England.
"Red" is an acronym, in CIA terminology, for Retired and Extremely Dangerous. The film is based on the graphic novel of the same name. Directed by Robert Schwentke and employs a multitude of great actors and actresses who bring the story to life. The story provides a whirlwind of travel from one American city to the next. While using the film's time wisely to unravel clues about who is trying to kill the ex-CIA team from a 1981 Colombian CIA operation.
We begin the film with ex-CIA agent Frank Moses (played by Bruce Willis) who is living a meager day-to-day life with no excitement and no cause to look forward to the future. He wakes up alone, he eats alone, and he even takes out the recycle bin alone. Most recently he decorated his home for the Christmas holiday when he realized his was the only house on the block that was barren. He does everything a good citizen must do in suburban Cleveland, Ohio to keep up appearances. He has one ray of sunshine in his life. He makes calls to his customer service rep at the pension services office, Sarah Ross (played Mary-Louise Parker), to hear her voice and talk about romance novels. Sarah, too, is miserable in her dead-end job. We see an over the phone connection between the two characters. If you have seen one romantic comedy in your life, you will see what is going on here. Two lonely souls make a connection but are separated by two cities. However, in "Red" one of the lonely souls is an ex-CIA killer, you won't find that in the typical romantic comedy formula.
Late one night Frank gets up to go to the kitchen and is attacked by a CIA team of killers. Grenades are thrown, machine guns are fired, bullets are fried in a pan (really it happens) and we are following Frank to Kansas City, Mo. to pick up Sarah to let her know that she is in trouble. From there we are yanked down to New Orleans to find Frank's old CIA buddy Joe Matheson (played by Morgan Freeman). While in the French Quarter we are entertained with an amazing shot of Frank exiting a spinning cop car to unload an entire clip from his handgun into the windshield of his would-be assailant, William Cooper (played by Karl Urban).
I am done telling you about the story line. It's a good story line but I have to tell you I haven't seen action from an experienced cast like this in a long time. Sure I can compare this to "The A-Team" and "The Losers." Sure it has the basic story line about a team of special ops killers who are doubled crossed and they need to find out who is behind it all. But, I want to tell you what great fun it is to watch someone who portrayed a queen (Helen Mirren) take a firing stance behind a .50 caliber machine gun to mow down a limousine. I want to tell you how someone who once drove "Miss Daisy" (Freeman) and the guy who once played Biff Loman in "Death of a Salesman" (John Malkovich) interrogate the nerdy marine biologist from "Jaws" (Richard Dreyfuss). I can't forget to tell you how the guy from "Die Hard" (Willis) is back doing what Americans love to watch him do – eliminate the bad guys with a calm, cool attitude.
We, the people, deserve this movie, we have earned the right to put $10 down at the box office and say "give me four A-list actors with lots of explosions and car chases and even a little romance. Because after a summer of watching sub-par movies we need to be reminded how much fun it is to hear old people jokes. Then see those 'old people' exact their revenge on the system."
Should you see this movie? Are you a red-blooded American? Then yes, go see it. This is your right to turn off your mind for a while and be grateful that you live in a country where you can watch absurd violent behavior by retirees. While all along you see a loving relationship between a man and woman blossom before your eyes.