Paint This Town RED

Rating: 8/10 (31 January 2011)

A friend of mine at work had to actually entice me to see Red. And I'm sorry I needed such persuasion to see it, finally.
I mean, I love Bruce Willis in an smart action role (SEE: Die Hard or Live Free or Die Hard,) I love Morgan Freeman in anything, even bad films and most of all, I love Helen Mirrenespecially when she holds a gun a third of her weight without a blink.
So why did it take me this long? No excuse. I just had so many other movies to see. Now, you shouldn't have an excuse, because Red was just simple "leave your brain at the door" fun.
You can't take a movie like this seriously. It's close to the aspect of 2010's The A-Team, whereas you'll try and rekindle the past while knowing: nothing you see is possible. And that's part of the fun.
Ex-CIA agent Frank (Bruce Willis) is wooing a call-center gal, Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker) when he's targeted for assassinationbut wait! This is the Bruce Willis you know and love! (If you don't: press stop now. In fact, why the hell did you rent this anyways, if you're not a "die hard" Willis fan?) He won't let anyone take him down, not even his love (lust) interest, Sarah.
So, he rescues her while hired assassin, William (Karl Urban) begins his quest for annihilation of Frank and his soon-to-be crew of retirees: Marvin (a wonderful John Malkovich,) Joe (Morgan Freeman) and Victoria (Helen Mirren.) Not to mention the -gasp- Russian spy Ivan (Brian Cox.)
Pretty much the rest of the movie pans out as they're trying to survive – with little help, oh! I love super-human characters in fictional stories – while solving the puzzle of who's trying to kill them and not allowing them to stay retired. And alive.
Here's the deal. Yeah, it's unrealistic, I get that. It's a movie produced by the DC Comics crowd, for goodness sakes. But, the weak spot is Mary-Louise Parker's Sarah and her barely unflinching willingness to go along for the ride. She all but almost dismantled the crew or my desire to further watch.
Skip over her. I beg you. This is an extremely fun, no-brainer film with actual shocks, twists and even a sadness when one character dies. I highly recommend it, but make sure you leave that deep-thought cap off when you press play. Again, that is, once you realize you are, in fact, a closeted Willis fan.