By-the-numbers action comedy

Rating: 5/10 (29 August 2013)

An unwieldy combination of lame comedy and tired Hollywood-style action, RED is so staggeringly by-the-numbers that you can almost see the gears grinding and the multiple scriptwriters trying to come up with the next gag or action scene. It's also quite watchable, although completely forgettable, so much so that a week later you won't remember a single scene of it.
A bored-looking Bruce Willis stars as a retired secret agent who's forced to gather together a gang of equally past-it has-beens when a group of rogue CIA agents decide to hunt them down and kill them. In essence, it's another excuse for a group of ageing stars to have one last adventure; a plot device that has been done in everything from THE WILD BUNCH to SPACE COWBOYS.
RED is particularly by rote, and a typically frenetic Hollywood pacing can't hide the paucity of imagination or the distinctly unimpressive successful gag rate. Willis gives one of those exceptionally laid back, almost bored performances that's been blighting him recently (see A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD for the worst example), but the supporting cast, in the form of Karl Urban, Morgan Freeman and John Malkovich, are better. The less said about the female cast members the better: Mary-Louise Parker is horrible, and seems to think she's gurning her way through a rom-com, while the sight of Helen Mirren trying to act tough and wield heavy weaponry is, frankly, embarrassing.
Some not-bad action scenes and a whole plethora of expensive special effects are thrown into the mix to bring things to life, while at the same time forgetting basic characterisation or even giving the audience a reason to care. It's a pity that this is the best Hollywood can do these days as it makes the era of LETHAL WEAPON et al look like halcyon years gone by.