More of the same only 21st century style. At least it tries hard

Rating: 5/10 (17 October 2009)

It's always difficult to know what to think about the James Bond franchise, and I must admit that after watching the late Sean Connery films, I rather lost interest. They became something of an institution here in Britain, with the TV companies showing several over Christmas and that sort of thing and a grateful nation was expected to murmur its thanks, and I believe they even did so. I have to say, they never did anything for me. The jokey puns were always a little to obvious for my taste, the 'humour' never very funny, the plots rapidly became clichéd and once you've seen one chase and a set of implausible gadgets, you've seen them all. When Daniel Craig took over the helm as 007, much was made in the Press, courtesy of the Broccoli marketing department, no doubt, how this would be a new, darker, less sexist Bond. And the women are now much more capable. They are no longer eye candy and easy sex for James. Judi Dench's M is a case in point and puts more than a little backbone into the female roles. Some claim that the new, improved Bond has somehow lost the essence, And having seen Casino Royale and now Quantum Of Solace I can see why. What with the Bourne franchise breathing down its neck, the Bond franchise was very much obliged to up its game and give the punter more of what the modern punter wants. In the process of this necessary modernisation, James has lost his sense of humour, is now 'caringly' sexist and no longer smokes - well, what with all the running, chasing, fighting and swimming, it would be suicide to do so. Gone, too, are the gadgets, or rather they are far more underplayed. The ability of MI6 to keep in touch with 007 is phenomenal - they can supply him with data, background info, oh, all sorts - this is a world where budgetary constraints are unheard of - but Bond himself, apart from his snazzy mobile, doesn't have many gadgets. But beneath it all, beneath this year's fashionable themes, attitudes and context, it's the same old 007 stories, the same old franchise, the same old highly fanciful plots and story lines, the same utter disregard for the lives of those not involved in any way with the plot, the same old unbelievable luck Bond's has - keys are always waiting for him in cars, speedboats are always available when he needs them, and in Quantum he has ready access to money, weapons and ammunition and can move about the world as easily as a virus. Lord, he even manages to hire a rather large turbo-prop plane which is sitting, rather conveniently, in the middle of the Bolivian desert. And exactly where did he get the 4x4 in the last few minutes of the Bolivian section when the hotel is incinerated (presumably with all its staff)? And when does a man with such a fine physique find the time to work out when he is obliged to chase around the world? And why does he never get jet-lagged? (Incidentally, Judi Dench's M, who introduces are rather sardonic line in humour, is also a very hands-on boss, in this film even ending up in 'Kazan', Russia, which for the head of Her Majesty's Most Secret Service is surely quite unprecedented. Quantum itself is full of huge implausibilites. Why do the conspirators all meet in the Austrian opera house, are given earpieces and hold some sort of conference. Well, only because it is a great set for a Bond set piece - for no other reason. Oh, why be so longwinded. Criticisng Bond is as pointless as detailing why it is impossible for Sante even to exist, let alone run a toy factory in the North Pole. All I'm saying is that if like most people you have a soft spot for the Bond films, Quantum as its predecessor Casino Royale, hits the spot and will give you what you crave, with the bonus that computer graphics mean even snazzier special effects. Me? Well, I was never a convert, and Quantum did nothing to change that. I'm not particularly stupid, but for much of the film I had little idea what was going on or why. Who was Mathis? How did Bond know Mathis? Why was Mathis beaten to death? Does it even matter? Well, no it doesn't. The Bond films are rather like Doctor Who: you accept them on their own terms and completely or you go and find something else to do. I'll probably watch the next one if the DVD comes my way, but I shan't be holding my breath.