One-dimensional modernist pap (minor spoilers)

Rating: 1/10 (9 April 2002)

Is it possible that something so loathsome and awful could actually be adored and lauded by millions of people? Is it only a matter of chance that some movies are loved and others hated, regardless of their content? I hope this is true, because I cannot believe that there is actually anything good about the movie Pulp Fiction to lead any sane, reasoned, drug-free person to write the glowing comments that surround mine, much less the oodles of people who actually handed over their money to see this thing.
Why is this movie so bad, you ask? Okay, I'll tell you, even though it's like pointing out why windows are transparent. Starting with the script, I see no reason to be impressed by an assemblage of overly stylistic dialogue and flat, boring characters. There is nothing amazing about two guys talking about French McDonald's restaurants, and then killing some guys. Every awful stretch of dialogue is dragged out as long as it will last, and then some. It's as if Tarantino said to himself "I think I can cram one more line about milkshakes in here". You have to give him credit for padding the film in ways that nobody's ever tried before. The actors look as though they're doing their best to salvage this turkey (and they are talented), all the while knowing in the back of their minds how much of a cow pie the whole thing is. As far as Tarantino's directorial style is concerned, he should just get himself a career in Nike commercials because that's where his talent level cuts off.