Phenomenally stupid

Rating: 1/10 (2 May 2013)

Thank god for Netflix, otherwise I'd be really upset about spending good money on this atrocious movie. Streaming via Netflix, I at least felt that the cost of viewing was sunken into the $8.00 per month streaming subscription, so the only thing that hurt was the sad fact that I've wasted 2 hours.
Same as many other disappointed (and angry) fans, I too hold the "Alien" (as well as the "Aliens") in high regard. That's why many of us find it simply unbelievable that the same person who created those classic movies could stoop so low to create this garbage. It must have been created by some geriatric Hollywood committee, there's just no other explanation for this mess.
One of the biggest disappointments of this movie are the visuals. The alien in the original movie (made back in the late '70s, more than 30 years ago), looks superior compared to the lame CGI monsters displayed in this movie. Seriously, the special effects in "Prometheus" are unbelievably lame and amateurish, a shocking fail for such a high budget movie made in 2012! Impossible to explain how could such low quality visuals make it through even the most basic quality control? People were making more convincing CGI monsters back in the early 1990s. Has the technology not progressed at an accelerating break-neck pace since then? What happened -- where did the CGI budget for this movie go?
However, the tragic fact is that even the most spectacular and ahead of its time visuals couldn't salvage the terrible concept, the terrible script and the terrible acting. To begin with, as someone had already noticed, the entire movie is drenched in a very uneasy 'been there, done that' vibe. It's all been done before, and many, many times over. So why bother doing it again?
Next, you sense that actors are just going through the motions, merely earning a paycheck. Insulting to the viewers, to say the least. It's almost as if they were embarrassed to be in this movie. A scene that best illustrates this is when the captain of the ship (Elba) is cued in to sing CSNY classic "Love the One You're With", but he just couldn't be arsed to do it. It was painful to watch, the way Elba's voice cracked under the enormity of the embarrassment.
Next in the fail department is the make-up: have you seen the terribly lame attempt to turn a young-ish looking actor (Guy Pearce) into a very old man (Peter Wayland)? That has got to be the lamest ever disguise, especially exacerbated by the fact that it's displayed in high definition. It's almost as if they hired some high school make up artists-wannabes, and paid them minimum wage to have a go at it.
And now we come to the bottomless pit that is the amount of stupidity crammed into the script. It doesn't seem possible to exhaust the list of topics where you are left scratching your head, thinking "this has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever seen!" I feel like I shouldn't even try to mine that ore, but here are just a few nuggets that come to mind:

What's with the old dude (Peter Wayland) pretending to be dead and playing a recorded message to the crew, only to later on reveal himself being on the ship all along? What was that all about, how was that supposed to further the plot? And how come no crew member gave a hoot about all that? No one in the known universe can riddle this stupidity.

Staying with the old dude, based on what was he convinced that his 'creators' could prolong his life? It is amazing enough if someone can engineer life, but that doesn't automatically mean that this engineer can then extend the life span.

Why was that clueless crew member attempting to pet a clearly agitated and angry space alien monster cobra snake? Was he on drugs or something? (come to think of it, it was not him but his colleague who was smoking something in his helmet).

A couple of scientists stumble upon some crude drawings in a cave, and from there they are able to accurately pinpoint the exact coordinates of a tiny moon 500 million miles away from the earth?

A desperate and greedy tycoon is then fully prepared to dunk one trillion dollars into an exploratory space expedition, based on the flimsy cave drawings?

Upon arriving (somehow, fantastically) to the destination moon, it took them just a few minutes of hovering over the moon's surface before they spot a man-made edifice with a nice landing spot next to it? Talk about blind luck!

Ship's android (why is there always only one android on these imaginary futuristic missions? Shouldn't they be dead easy to replicate with a push of a button?) then poisons one of the chief scientists, who subsequently, being a contaminated threat, gets killed by his peers, and no one ever gets upset about this android's unethical behavior?

A women performs a cesarian section on herself, receives a few metal stitches on her stomach, and is immediately after that (a few seconds later) able to perform athletic feats of strength? Anyone buying that must be brain-dead stupid!

And on and on, many other stupidities that abound in this movie have already been discussed ad nauseum. The only thing to conclude from this fiasco is that, judging from the commercial success of this movie, the age of Idiocracy is already upon us, so lord have mercy on our souls.
The only funny (and somewhat oddly redeeming) moment in the movie was the redneck zombie. Where did he come from, and what's the story behind that? Impossible to explain, of course...