The Three Stooges--er, scientists--explore a planet....

Rating: 1/10 (22 May 2013)

Still stunned about this movie. All that money and potential, plus a couple of hours of my life, wasted, and for what? A movie that proves yet again that no matter how dumb a script is, as long as the effects are up to par it will make a mint. And we need more such proof?
Other reviews have covered most of these points, but let me revise for my own satisfaction:
1. Scientists travel for two years in stasis. When they awake they don't know each other. Eh? Wouldn't they have trained for this mission for many months? How could they not know each other?
2. They conveniently discover and land near an alien structure. Weapons are discussed, but the team leader says no, no weapons, this is a scientific expedition. Eh? No weapons going into an alien structure on an alien planet?! This is doubly stupid, since scientists would not be handling weapons anyway. On a real mission, they'd be accompanied by a detachment of armed marines. But even given the current premise, to even think about stepping outside unarmed is retarded.
3. They go in and discover an alien corpse. For no discernible reason one of them--who remember has traveled for two years in stasis to encounter alien life--suddenly freaks out and starts shouting in everyone's face. Since this guy is played by "Mikoletto" from The Borgias with a brush turkey haircut (a scientist?) and regional English accent, this scene proves somewhat unconvincing and not a little embarrassing. Anyway, he heads off back to the ship with a companion and, despite having a direction finder, immediately gets lost. At this point something that looks like an albino cobra pops up out of the slime, but instead of panicking as he did at the site of a 2000 year old corpse, he enthuses, totally out of character, about its beauty, and reaches toward it. Eh? This is not only ridiculous, but this character would never speak thus anyway. And this thing is not only not beautiful, it looked damn dangerous, such that you'd run off screaming if it popped up in your back garden. And this is an alien planet! Yikes!
Not much more room, but I just have to mention the oddly nonchalant attitude of everyone for everyone else's safety. The Captain for instance treated the two lost scientists' panic as a big joke. No one asked why a female character had staples across her abdomen and was covered in blood. (Is that maybe normal on space missions in the future?} No one seemed to care about anyone else's demise, and since there'd been no character development neither did we. Worst of all, no one looked or acted like a real person throughout the whole film, so that I often wondered if the whole thing wasn't supposed to be a dream sequence. Since the last time I wondered that was while watching The Silver Chalice, that can't be a good sign.
I think I'll skip the sequel, thanks. I want the two hours I've lost back, not to waste another two.