Tail spin into the ridiculous for Ridley

Rating: 1/10 (11 June 2012)

Gee, I seriously fear for the up-coming Blade Runner 2, now. I get that it's all about the money these days, that he has to squeeze as much 3D technology possible inside his product, however ludicrous and unnecessary it may be, because they finally decided that for future marketing purposes tinsel is all that the younger generation should be accustomed to (like the control deck hologram meant only to tingle our retina, because for practical reasons it couldn't possibly have been made), and I get that they hire soap opera level writers because they're less expensive (and thus expose the public to sub par story writing, where all logic goes down the drain to the benefit of forced tension), but what I don't get is why it had to dirt-splash the Alien series. I can already see this topping the Alien Blu Ray 5-pack.
Now on the unintentional comedy:
1 Somehow they found the oldest cave paintings in Scotland and not the middle East where we had the oldest civilization.
2 The drawings are so complex that they have to superpose them to show us that they are the same.
3 Our creators didn't write much nor did they like math, they preferred to dribble little men pointing up. They invite us just to play a prank on us. When they have the chance to explain their actions they instantly turn Hulk Hogan on us.
4 Robots are more unpredictable that humans, and also act better.
5 Even in the 2090's explorers will split up like second graders on a school trip.
6 They send a team of humans when they have the technology to send robots which do not tire or get sick.
7 Our creators don't have robots to wake up their last sleeping beauty.
8 Our creators fly in dough nuts very effectively designed for rolling and squishing morons.
9 The crew has no weaponry on board except a flame thrower.
10 Gravitation is coincidentally the same as on Earth but our genetic identical creators are 2 times bigger and stronger even woken up from hyper sleep.
11 Future scientists like surprise parties which involve at least 4 years of their lives.
12 They cannot operate females mechanically on board of the ship, but they send them on missions nevertheless because the machine is easy to fool and override from the inside control panel.
13 They have machines that can read our own kind's thoughts but not those of our creators 100% identical to us, but still designed like Renault Twizy. They don't even try to read our creator's thoughts.
14 Our creator's ships are quite easy to steer. Even by a non pilot scientist seriously injured and with an infected wound.
Oh, and the master-mind old man routine they flat out lifted from John Hurt's character in "Contact"-1997. Plus we do not create robots because we can, but to work for us as loyal servants.
To those who liked Alien 2, I suggest seeing the much idiotic, but extremely fun Guy Pearce vehicle "Lockout" 2012.
Time to cut your losses and call it quits, Rid. This one will stay with me like a sand grain in the eye.