Glossy rerun of original that is very poor

Rating: 2/10 (29 June 2012)

If you want exploding chests, alien pen**** penetrating human mouths, and various other third rate horror trash tricks, then this is the movie for you. A very very tired rerun of the original 'Alien' without half the spark or creepiness. In fact, the only note of tension in the whole film is whether Guy Pierce's character is going to regenerate or not, and the best moment is when Man comes face to face with his Creator (Engineer). Otherwise it is a simple story of a space exploration team coming out of hibernation to explore the potential source of the Gods who made us - cue a direct pinch from 'Stargate' with the usual idealists, pragmatists, and grasping capitalists mixed up on board. We all know horror awaits and it is delivered rather half heartedly and mostly contradictorily and in unexplained fashion - cue you get terribly bored as the film dives ever downwards in its second half. Plot holes - like why is there one of the engineers still alive? - abound, flight crews turn into planet-saving heroes, the heroine opens up her stomach in full frontal etc and we get the dreaded promise of a sequel. Sorry Ridley, I know Hartlepool can be a gray place to grow up in, but it does not excuse this poorly scripted, poorly characterised mish mash of a fifth rate horror film. And, as for the so-called big questions being asked, forget it, this is the wrong movie to try and so lazily done it insults the intelligence. Some good CGI just gets it a 2!