Worst movie in at least 5 years

Rating: 1/10 (21 October 2012)

This movie has had a huge marketing campaign, and took in reasonable money. However, as I sat on the sofa (I rented the DVD) after it was finished, I turned to my girlfriend at the same time she turned to me and we both started ragging on the movie. It wasn't that it was one of these arty "oh, it doesn't make sense because it was over my head" type of things. It just didn't make sense. The implausibility of so much of the movie was astounding, as follows:

Weyland spent a trillion dollars on this ship to go some huge distance across the galaxy in search of some fountain of youth, but crews the ship with what amounts to amateur morons horrifically badly prepared for anything and everything.

the lead female character (whose name escapes me - the characters made that little an impact) gave herself major abdominal surgery, with no general anesthetic (granted, some future injection may have reduced the pain felt), and is therefore able to survive the squid that was growing inside her. OK, fine. She then essentially forgets the surgery and does all the usual running, jumping, fighting etc that you see in an action/sci-fi movie. This is literally within hours of the surgery.

the aliens were not consistent with what we know from the first movies. The infection went as follows - a drop of black goo is ingested by a crewman (name unknown - refer to earlier character anonymity) who then has relations with the female lead. She then starts growing a squid which she surgically removes. Squid comes out the size of a soccer ball, but somehow magically grows to the size of a cow (with enormous tentacles) to then act as some kind of demented, overgrown face hugger to the Engineer. The Engineer then has some sort of different Alien burst out of his chest. This is NOT even vaguely similar to the first movies.

2 years of space travel, even at relativistic speed (it appears that there is no FTL capability in the Alien universe), is not far in terms of distance in space. 2 light years is essentially down the road in terms of space. However, given other aspects of the film (such as the planet being some sort of outpost) then this probably isn't terribly relevant

the amount of unnecessary junk on the human spaceship was astounding. They had all sorts of creature comforts and empty space. Fine, they had the ability to control gravity, but they mentioned the trillion dollars that was spent on the mission - wouldn't it have made sense to make the ship smaller and cheaper by leaving all that stuff out, especially as the crew spent most of their time in cryo-sleep?

the human crew are essentially children. They appear to have no training of any kind, no discipline and no clues about what they are doing. Granted, Weyland didn't tell them much, but surely Weyland would have recruited the best people available considering he was spending a trillion dollars. Belief was beggared yet again.

Michael Fasbender's character (I only know who he is cos I liked him in Inglorious Basterds) was so annoying that he ruined an already bad movie. Why would an android worry about his hair?

what was the motivation of the Engineers? They went to the effort of making life on earth, but then decided to unleash the unstoppable biological weapon (imagine if there were 200 million Aliens loose on Earth) on us, rendering the Earth hostile to all life. The Engineers appeared to be as susceptible to the Alien as humans were in the previous movies. The Engineers essentially came across as children breaking a toy that they no longer wanted to play with. Interstellar travel, control of DNA, spawning life across the galaxy, but with the maturity of a 4 year old? Incredulity is everywhere.

The lead female character survives numerous attempts on her life, both by various characters, organisms, the environment etc, and then decides to go ask some of the people who have been trying to kill her why they were trying to kill her, all the while trusting an android who spent a good chunk of the movie trying to kill her. Incredulity is well shattered and lying in bits all over the floor.

In summary - APPALLING movie. Plot stinks. Acting stinks. Effects annoying. Logic ignored. Horrible experience (and not in a good way). I gave it 1 star because the rating system does not allow negative stars.