Stick a fork in Ridley

Rating: 7/10 (23 June 2012)

The main problem is that it had no heart. Want a movie that looks great? This is your movie. (Which means he wins the award for spending money.)
It wasn't even that cool. Some good elements like Theron and Fassbinder. Rapice wasn't even that good, which was surprising.
But it was a monster movie. Not a psychological piece about man meeting his maker, or God.
Everything was anti-climatic and bland. We knew from the ads that it was aliens as the daddies of man. We knew that the alien ship was going to crash at the end. We knew that Aliens were somewhere in the mix.
What was the corporate intent? The old man wanted to meet God. But Fassbinder's android had another idea infecting the crew? Why? I thought Thereon was behind capturing the Alien but she turned out to just have daddy issues.
And early on. Doctor couple finds the solar system on cave painting. Okay. It's an "invitation". But in the end it wasn't. They "invited" the human race to their weigh station (as it wasn't the home planet)? We needed a reason to go to the planet in the beginning but turned out to be stupid in the end.
A few "pops", so to speak, where overlooked. The creature in the husband's eye. Blah (which I just saw on an even worse "Falling Skies"). The supposed dead old man appears at the end. Blah. The old man is Thereon's daddy. Blah. The alien stumbles out of the sleep chamber. Blah. The pilot and those two other guys decide to hurdle the ship and themselves into the alien ship. "Okay, guy?" "Uh, sure. Why not?" Blah.
(I do get why the alien daddy hated humans and Earth. He probably went under around when W was elected the 2nd time.)
What about when they all woke up. Nobody had met anybody else? It was very labored to tell us this several times. They couldn't have a cup of coffee beforehand? It felt awkward.
And for all of Scott's slamming of the other Alien movies, the 2nd-4th had pretty decent characters that you cared about. This had cardboard cutouts xerox'd from the other films.
Like the mohawk geologist who launched the balls that mapped the caves. He had the map and couldn't get out of the cave? And he and his buddy with glasses turned into clowns. And those guys were the better of the lot.
It was very convenient that the aliens videotaped themselves doing everything in grainy hologram and Fassbinder cue'd both up at just the right time.
And it was mentioned briefly in IMDb. How did Fassbinder talk alien?
Also, the alien daddy woke up in a sleep chamber and decapitated Fassbinder. Then the alien launched the ship from a different compartment? And then left the sleep chamber behind? Somebody said to me that it was one in the same. But I don't recall seeing the alien daddy and his chair in the compartment when Rapice picked up Fassbinder and his head after the crash.
They missed a SPLAT sound effect when Thereon was crushed by the ship.
I don't know. My hope eclipsed my common sense. I would have been fine waiting for DVD.