The Gods are ANGRY. Very Angry Especially Prometheus.

Rating: 1/10 (29 January 2013)

It is told in the ancient legends that the Greek Titan Prometheus gave mortals fire (and was punished by Zeus.) Perhaps Prometheus can once again light a torch for humanity, but before he does so, place the torch near his titanic arse and let loose a thunderous fart on this travesty of his namesake.
Not for the first time I'm wising IMDb had negative stars. 1=awful. -10=GODawful. Don't you *hate* it when a preview looks interesting, then gets predictable and when you finally see said movie out of that spark of interest it turns out to be even more shite than you expected? Thy name was Prometheus. The movie, that is, not the Titan who thought having his liver pecked out every night was preferable to this stuffed turkey which pecked out his brain (someone also said that in their review about their own liver.) The movie soon went to Tartarus, then went further. Last seen heading rapidly even more south.
Perhaps that very same eagle or aliens ate Ridley's brain? Oh well they say you're not a director unless you've made at least one flop, 'cept this "soufflé" didn't just flop, it was burnt to a crisp and had to be put out with a fire hydrant (courtesy of Prometheus), set those accursed beeping smoke alarms off and stunk the house out for days.
Another reviewer mentioned a stab at Scientology. I'd believe that. If it'd starred Tom Cruise I would have checked out (or not checked in in the first place) Good thing I hired it on DVD and like when I watched "Cloverfield" (another predictable godawful sci-fi travesty,) spent more quality time cutting out pictures for my vision board. And they promote the DVD had extras, sit through it AGAIN with a commentary?!?! *Squeals with laughter* A crying shame the whole damned moved wasn't a "deleted scene" or was that a goof? When I first started watching, I thought it was a pathetic Alien/Event Horizon rip-off, not a great prequel. The one redeeming thing was Fassbender was great as David and it was Liam Neeson I believe who said you're not an actor unless you've done one major flop. The movie's only other saving grace was it was a clear warning against biological weapons. The rest of the cast, wooden and boring and Noomi although pretty and an somewhat interesting and naive, but also boring character is a poor actress - some scenes she's supposed to be crying and she looks like she's giggling like a schoolgirl. And who runs about like a mad sale shopper after a Cesarean, even if it is set in the future with more advanced equipment? And poor Charlize? Her character was a b!tch, but surely didn't deserve that!! To see Pro-meep-theus had 120 pages of bad reviews at the time I wrote this, doesn't make me feel so bad. The fact it had 59 pages of good reviews is staggering to any intelligent life-form. And there's a SEQUEL I hear??!?! What the feck??!! You gotta be sh!ttin' me! What in all the worlds is sci-fi coming to? The real Prometheus has left the building! Sorry, but sometimes something must be said. This movie was an obvious, lame attempt to frighten people of "what's out there" and ooo! If we search for answers 'out there,' look what eeeevil, nasty horrors await us!! We'd better pick up our crosses, grab our bibles and go to church! The religious connotations may have been subtle for some, but for me, stuck out like bulldog balls.
Truth is, the unknown should always be approached with caution, but approached nonetheless as if it were not, we'd still think the Earth was flat and everything revolved around us. The church came up with those too Nuff said? (When the ancient Greeks, Egyptians and Celts knew the Earth was round (and according to 8000 years old Indian and Greek texts that we lived in a 9 planet solar system, though the planets were not named until much later and I doubt the Greeks would have had the hubris to debunk Pluto.) Exploring (our external and internal world) is how we learn and grow.
Perhaps almighty Zeus can send eagles to peck out the livers of the producers of this piece of primordial goop and give real writers and unfairly impoverished artists a chance to shine with their intelligent creative endeavours.
Sh!t, I've NaMoWriMo'd stuff heaps better than this! And have ideas for movies that leave this for dust!