The Alien, but Shiny

Rating: 5/10 (25 November 2012)

*** SPOILERS ***
I wasn't sure what to expect of this prequel to Alien. Many reviewers have panned it, though the reviewer in 'Interzone' magazine liked it for its homage to earlier SF films. It could be that such knowing film-studies references motivated Ridley Scott, for there are serious flaws in the script, acting, plotting and almost everything else.
The visuals, however, are lovely. The interior of the explorers' spaceship looks slick and stylish, most of the time, although some of it degenerates into a cross between the IKEA catalog and an amusement arcade - but I think if I hear that clichéd servo-whoosh of sliding spaceship doors again I'll scream.
The actors do their best with a soggy script. Noomi Rapace is adorable and does a good job as a 21st-century Ripley. But nobody called 'Elizabeth Shaw' with an English-as-Tea-and-Crumpets father has an accent like that.
The plot is full of random holes. How does the android seem to know what's going to happen? Why do the titans want to kill us as soon as they've found us? If the titans' DNA is the same as ours, how does that explain the DNA of all other life on Earth? The life cycle of our much beloved H. R. Giger Alien seems very confusing. It infects people at random parts of its life cycle and does different things to them. This was confusing. And most of all, NOBODY gets out of a C-section who can walk, run, rappel down cliffs and so on, no matter how futuristic your medical tech.
The deeper themes of the film - religion, what-it-means-to-be-human, and so on - are treated far too superficially and don't make much sense.
But most of all, the alien starship looks like a croissant.
Even though the original Alien, with its dark and grimy styling, was far better as a frightener, Prometheus is enjoyable enough as a popcorn splatter movie. But don't expect to be enthralled by the portentous themes the film promises but doesn't deliver.