In space no one can hear you yawn.

Rating: 3/10 (3 June 2012)

Remember when films didn't use their budget as a means of advertising? When narrative, performance and breath taking images were all you needed to enjoy a film? Me too, and i miss it. I'm sick of going to see a film and having the budget crammed down my throat, "WE SPENT $130 MILLION DOLLARS ON THIS MOVIE, LOVE IT!!!!!". Honestly i don't care i just want a decent story. And this my fellow movie goers is where Prometheus falls extremely short.
From the minute we hit go we're hit with ridiculous shots that last a good ten minutes obviously intended for 3D that do nothing to advance any sort of narrative, and seen as though i hate 3D and will avoid it at any cost the effect was lost on my 2D screening. Then the film starts, and you are lost straight away. The plot is convoluted and ridiculous. Like a younger sibling shadowed by it's big brothers achievements, it scrambles desperately to try and be different but just ends up being a shallow rehash of something great.
There are far too many characters and not enough time to care about any of them and so when the crew start to fall, what's meant to be emotional and poignant just becomes cliché Hollywood horror. The effects and sets are truly great and the only reason really that i'd give this film any sort of rating, however when a film rests on it's effects and not it's plot, you can be sure it's going to be terrible.
Noomi Rapace does her very best to make me question whether or not she's playing a British character or a Swedish one. Logan Marshall Green's character apparently suffers from split personality and often switches between the hero and a villain at the drop of a hat.
All in all i came out of the cinema feeling doubly hard done by, one because this film that could have been so good became so boringly average and two because every time i sit down to watch Alien, i'm going to have the bitter after taste of Prometheus swilling around in my mouth.