Prometheus: The Hands Of Fate

Rating: 1/10 (6 June 2012)

Just recently I watched Manos: The Hands Of Fate for the first time. It was everything I'd been led to believe it was and more: diabolical directing, dreadful music, appalling acting and a script so incomprehensible it would make a paper on quantum chromodynamics seem simple by comparison.
Then last night (being a huge fan of Alien and a big consumer of science fiction) I decided to watch Prometheus.
What can be the connection between the acknowledged worst film ever made and the latest Ridley Scott blockbuster? Well, more than you might think...
Firstly, the good stuff. Prometheus looks amazing. Really. It's great. Ridley Scott does a grand job of wowing with the effects, and I particularly like the visual continuity with the original look of the Nostromo, it works. The whole film has a huge cinematic scope and sucks you willingly into its believable world.
But then... oh dear. What did you do Ridley? You let a script slip into existence that rivals Manos for incomprehensibility. To demonstrate how confusing this film is, here is a basic summary of my thought processes as I watched the film: "Why? Why this? Why that? Why did that character do that? Why did they let that happen? Why is that how it works? Why did it explode? What does that actually do? Don't do that, that's stupid! And REALLY don't do that! Oh, you did, I can't see how that would work though. And why does THAT work like that? Hang on, does that even matter? That bit should be in Star Wars shouldn't it? Why? No, don't run that way! But, why?" Coincidentally, these are exactly the same thought processes I went through whilst watching Manos.
I can take a bit of mystery, a bit of unresolved intrigue, but when things just do not make any kind of sense I feel cheated. And this film made me feel cheated. It *could* have been a great backstory to the original Alien film, but instead it's a mumbo-jumbo piece of nonsense filled with mind-bogglingly stupid characters (none of which I cared about) and lots of pretentious drivel about origins. Honestly, it makes Star Trek V look like a masterpiece. And, without giving too much away, look out for a ludicrous death scene towards the end that I'm sure was pinched from A Fish Called Wanda.
All the great effects and direction in the world mean nothing if the basic script isn't up to scratch. And this is a disaster.
My advice: go watch Alien and appreciate a truly brilliant film instead.