Promethe....WHAT?!

Rating: 4/10 (6 June 2012)

Strap yourself in cause it's gonna be a long ride.
--The Smooth but Slow Start--
Just finished a premier screening of this movie, and, it was the first time in a LONG TIME I left the cinemas with more questions than answers (this coming from someone who watched inception, and got it).
--The Story--
So the storyline starts out with a typical premise, a handpicked team funded by a big corporation is sent to find some far off planet (in this case, a moon) for god knows what (pun intended). They land, find what they were looking for, and MORE, hilarity ensues. Okay so it's not a comedy, but there were moments where either your brain collapses from the sheer stupidity of the characters or you just laugh, I chose the latter. Development of the story was rushed. Characters didn't get to develop, leaving the audience BEGGING to have a likable character to cling onto. Things that should have gotten attention didn't get it, and things that didn't need it, got it. Getting it so far? It really feels like everything was put together for the sole purpose of the big reveal at the end. For some people, it justified the 2 hours they had to endure, personally I felt cheated.
--The Trillion Dollar Team--
This so called 'handpicked team' on a TRILLION dollar funded mission, and this was the best they could find? It honestly felt like the writers specifically put in the bulk of the characters in for the sole purpose of....killing them. There is barely any character development, with characters being of some focus near the beginning to only disappear into obscurity as the movie progresses. While the worthwhile or potentially interesting characters are knocked off (don't worry there weren't many). By the time it's reached the end you really don't care what happens since the only ones left really aren't that interesting.
Charlize Theron was 'meh' as the hardened captain with the emotional range of a tea spoon. Honestly if her character was cut from the movie you wouldn't even bloody notice.
The only decent characters were the two that received the most attention, Michael Fassbender's portrayal of a humanoid android and Noomi Rapace portrayal of a scientific archaeologist. Michael Fassbender had an acceptable performance, but could have done so much more if it were not for the poor writing Noomi Rapace had a somewhat solid performance as the (erratic) protagonist but once again, the writers threw her into situations that just made the brain go 'Huh? What? WHY!?'
--The Sum of it All—
The only good thing about the movie is the special effects. Musical score was bland, acting ranged from 'alright' to 'why bother'. Trust me, wait for it on TV. BUT if you really must watch I only recommend those that go, go for the sole purpose of seeing what NOT TO DO when one has a potential gem in their hands (or just to laugh at how dumb characters can be in movies).
I leave you with this question.
What is the likelihood of an axe being on a spaceship in the year 2093?
Apparently very likely....
Ridley Scott, thank you for this comedy.
4/10!