Alien prequel, you don't say?

Rating: 3/10 (10 June 2012)

Wow, it's like it's 1999 again and I'm back at the cinema, watching The Phantom Menace, hating it when I should be loving it... After all I do love the subject material.
Yet I couldn't love it. No matter how much I loved Alien it just downright sucked! I'll admit the first 10 minutes were good but then it solely went downhill. Fassbender was so bloody fantastic, even creepy as David. Oh and it looked pretty too. It was shot on the RED EPIC and the special effects are pretty looking. But the script is so full of holes that would put a block of Swiss cheese to shame. Including, but not limited to:
-So they find a painting in the Scottish mountains that tells of a planet that may have held humanity's beginnings... But how did the cave dwellers know of the planet had they not evolved in that time?
-How Were they able to breathe inside cave without their helmets?
-On that note why was the planet so earth like, with breathable air and earth like terrain?

it's never fully explained what the alien species of white, gay looking Palpatines on the planet are. I get that there will be a sequel but lazy world-building.

-Speaking if which, the idea of humans evolving from an alien species was a cool idea but never explored further.
-How did they land 1) so closely to the temple and 2) so smoothly to the planet?
-the black goo- it seemed to do so many things; from contaminating one guy with viruses, to create wormy aliens, etc. What did it really do? Pick a story and stick to it.
-If they knew that reviving the head could be dangerous why did they do it in the first place? And why did it explode?
-How does Shaw walk after the surgery? If the abdominal muscle is cut you can't walk. It has to be sewn together and let to cure, but no, a few staples and she's fine.
-If Weyland was that old don't you think Hypersleep would have killed him?
-So Shaw had the baby and suddenly forgets it?
-how did everyone know that Holloway would become an alien-zombie thing?
-Why did the scientist try to touch the cobra alien THREE TIMES?!
-If David is an android why did he infect Holloway's drink to get to Shaw?!
-How could David feel love?!
-If the boss was paid for the expedition, why did he fake his death and hide on the ship?!
-The obligatory "Empire Strikes Back" moment with the "father" line. People actually LAUGHED OUT LOUD at that scene.

And of course, they had to include the obligatory religious subplot, who created us, etc.

Ugh, I could go on but I'm just steaming mad thinking about it. Avoid at all costs.