Mediocre to Watch, Void of Depth - Not Even 3rd Grade Science

Rating: 2/10 (16 August 2012)

Normally, I'm very easy to please - I don't expect movies to be fantastic and breath-taking. I like watching things and people explode (e.g. all the Die Hard movies, Alien, etc.). This movie is a cinematic abortion.
1. The DNA of the aliens MATCHES human DNA? We only have a nearly complete record of the evolution of our DNA from slimy ancient bacteria to the Chimpanzee ... I guess we'll throw all that out because we ARE the aliens! Come on ... the match could have been a statistically impossible 13% and that might have been believable. I get it, they wanted us to share aesthetics with these guys so they just made it a "match" but even an 8-year-old who's been held back two grades would have to wrap their head in a paper bag to buy that nonsense! 2. Balls can just defy gravity and fly around with no propulsion? 3. No character has any depth. The guy scientist is a dick to the android and then a selfless hero who gave his life to save others from contamination? The android is an evil experimenter who wants to know about his origin but just kills people for fun and never actually seeks the questions they have him ominously alluding to as he intentionally infects the archaeologist? Then in the end he saves the day and sends a scientist rocketing off to planets unknown for answers? Oh, and he can read and speak alien but we never get a whiff of what the aliens write or say? Oh, and the Archaeologist knows all about living human anatomy and the finer points of stimulation the brain and nervous system with electrical impulses? B.S. dude  we scientists barely have time to learn our own fields, much less each others! The old man shows up on the ship to be "saved" (what? A brilliant and filthy rich tycoon had no other plan than to find an alien and ask him nicely to give him immortality? Good flipping grief) but then just gets knocked in the head and dies  what does he contribute? The CEO representative is an unconvincing bitch an his daughter! (even I called that from the beginning when he said the android was the "closest thing" he had to a son) but nothing really comes from that either  no deeper plot  she's just THERE. And then she gets saved at the end for SOME ostensible purpose  only to be crushed by the crashing ship? Not even a closing word that illuminates some reason for her backstory and behaviors? NOTHING. The female scientist is what? Traumatized because dad died of an infection and so did her lover? What? There is no other greater meaning to her quest? Lame. The best character was the captain. No one is developed, no one makes you care whether they live or die, no one draws you in  and my standards for that are pretty darn low. And the alien? All that trouble to wake him up and he isn't even curious about the 2000 years that passed or why some aliens are standing around him, or that he is the sole soldier survivor? He just bashes their heads in and flies off to complete his mission to infect Earth? We didn't even get to hear a single word from him? Lame. 4. Around EVERY corner they raise questions, promise and answer and give you nothing  like, why did the life signal pop up every few seconds?
Also, as a geologist, I loved the haircut and bad attitude my representative had but come on  in reality, he'd have been the one badass DEMANDING to be left in the caverns to explore. How dare they infect us with the cowardice a biologist most certainly would have had (they called the biologist right). ;-)
OK, there's way more but I'm bored of writing this review and I've got a thesis to work on.
It's sort of fun to watch but the holes are sooooooooo big they DEMAND you be distracted by them.
And why do humanoid aliens have complex body armor that looks like an anteater?