Way below any reasonable expectations

Rating: 1/10 (1 October 2012)

*This review may contain spoilers*
I am a huge fan of the first two Alien movies, so I guess my standards as well as my expectations for any Alien sequel/prequel are high. Unfortunately, the only bright spot of the whole film was unexpectedly interesting performance of Michael Fassbender as the android David. True, his part has its share of stupidities and inconsistencies, but it is at least watchable most of the time. I am sure that by now you can guess that the vast majority of reviewers here were unhappy with the Prometheus film. Instead of repeating the others and giving you my general impression, I will try to highlight the worst stupidities and inconsistencies that this movie is entirely made of. 1) In the beginning of the movie, one of the Space Jockeys, an Engineer as later called, arrives to prehistoric Earth and dramatically dissolves himself into a bunch of molecules in order to populate the planet. Why such dramatic sacrifice was necessary, especially if seemingly a few years later the Engineers decided to destroy their creations using the unruly Xenomorphs? 2)If the Engineers and the humans share precisely the same DNA structure, then why don't both species look more alike? 3) Also, if the first Engineer on Earth who dissolved himself, released the "building blocks of life" into a river", then why people did not evolve as water-living creatures, but instead prefer to live on dry ground? I mean, humans cannot exist under water. Plus, if the Engineers created ALL life on Earth (animals and such in addition to humans), then how come people do not share the same DNA with fishes, birds, reptiles, amphibians, insects and so on? 4) If those archaeologists in this movie discovered so many ancient depictions of the Engineers visiting Earth (as a matter of fact, there are many somewhat similar actual drawings that do depict human-like creatures flying spaceships, wearing space suits and such; do some research), then why all those cave wall drawings point at the stellar system where the Space Jockeys established a small military base? Wouldn't it be more logical for the Engineers to be pointing at their home world, to the place of their origin? 5) Alright, so later on a private corporation (then just Weyland - not Weyland/Yutani) funds this space expedition. Seemingly only about 80 years from today there are interstellar spaceships capable of faster-then-light speeds, there are androids and whatever not. I do not expect this to be happening so soon. HOWEVER, if this is such a well-funded expedition, then why the entire crew of the Prometheus vessel carries around the 8 AA-battery powered LED flashlights that are sold on eBay today? Those three-beam LED flashlights that they use are Fenix TK45, and I own one. Why couldn't they make a prop flashlight or a night vision device that would look and function more futuristically? 6) It is quite unbelievable how this fully automated spaceship arrives so precisely to the right planet (or moon) without any preliminary research. The crew makes a decision to LAND without being certain that there is anything on this planet worth landing. Why were they so sure? In the case of LV426 (in the Alien/Aliens movies) there was that emergency beacon signaling from the Space Jockey's spaceship. And the beacon allowed the USCSS Nostromo to be guided to the right spot. What guided the Prometheus? A wild guess based on the prehistorical cave wall drawings? 7) Why the Prometheus space vessel lands in its entire bulk? I mean, is it feasible of efficient to be landing and taking off the WHOLE interstellar spaceship? I mean, that thing is big and heavy! And its interstellar engines and power sources must be useless for planetary landings and take offs, so they are nothing but a huge amount of dead weight. In both Alien and Aliens movies they used MUCH smaller and lighter vessels to land and take off, which does make scientific sense. I mean, while a landing vessel is on a planet, the rest of the interstellar ship (the mother ship) is safer and better off remaining in space. 8) Before landing of the surface of LV223, the crew of Prometheus did not bother to do any research and investigation of the planet. Only by chance the "alien structures" were VISUALLY discovered later on during the final descent. 9) Once the Prometheus ship lands, there is no investigation of the surrounding environment, they do not scan or drill ground around the alien structures therefore missing the Space Jockeys' ships buried a few inches under top soil. 10) At first, most of the crew does not seem to know what they are after, why they were hired for this important expedition, so they get introduced to their mission by watching a lousy 3D presentation that mostly shows this old Peter Weyland fellow and his stupid dog. 11) I don't even have to mention that all those "top scientist" are consistently unscientific in their actions, their attitudes, their inability to properly cooperate. What was the purpose of hiring those mostly weird amateurs? They did not even have a lot of common sense, so one cannot even begin to discuss their "professionalism". 12) Why weapons would not be allowed to be carried on a "scientific" mission? When someone is on such a mission, does it automatically guarantee one's safety? I mean, peacekeepers and medics involved in military conflicts (read: hostile environments) are not safe, although everyone knows how to tell a doctor or a peace keeper from an enemy combatant. But aliens couldn't tell a scientist from walking and talking fast food! So, who can assure safety of the scientists working on an alien planet full of hostile life forms? Right, no one can. So, proper weapons are necessary for basic self defense.