Can I have my Sick Squid back?

Rating: 5/10 (8 June 2012)

I kind of expected this movie to be a let down and lowered my expectations accordingly. Sadly not low enough. The cinematography is breathtaking and the cast are top drawer, especially Fassbender, who demonstrates why he is probably the finest actor working in movies today. The fatal flaw in this movie though is the second rate writing, which is so amateurish it feels like it was conceived by a couple of 13 year old schoolboys after an all night Syfy channel marathon. The illogical actions of some of the characters are well documented in other reviews here and in my opinion this is what ruins the movie (i.e. performing a DIY caesarean section on yourself, stapling up the gash then running around 5 mins later like Ellen Ripley on Red Bull). Ridley Scott is known to be a perfectionist, so why he agreed to shoot with such a shoddy script and story is a mystery. Also, whoever gave the green light to the design of the 'aliens' needs to be put into hypersleep for a very long time. They are truly laughable. On the one hand you have the 'Engineers', who are super intelligent pseudo gods, but who resemble a Right Said Fred tribute act and behave like Vinnie Jones on a bad day. I suppose everyone gets a bit grouchy if they are awakened out of a deep sleep by a bunch of strangers poking around in your crib. . . . Then there are the Flesh Gordon style 'cock-cobras' and don't even get me started on the alien squid that is so B Movie it would make Charles Band Blush. Surely we are beyond slimy tentacled aliens by now? The film lacks the suspense, intelligence and cohesion of Alien and I suspect that all the pre-release efforts to distance them from each other was due to the acknowledgement that it was not in the same league as the original and could never compare. Worth seeing for Fassbender alone, but other than that another damp squid, sorry squib, in the franchise.