I Bet the Science Adviser Asked for an Alias

Rating: 6/10 (8 June 2012)

Prometheus (2:04, R, Imax, 3-D) — 6 — SF, biggie, original
Prometheus is solid science fiction riddled with mushy science. These are just the blunders I bothered to note:
 A tracking shot of the night sky used 3-D effects to show some stars nearer than others. At interstellar distances, no parallax would be evident.
 The 6-circle pattern the archeologists recognize from a variety of ancient drawings all over Earth was not of a distant star system but of a distant PLANETARY system, as if the planets were always in the exact same spatial relationship to each other.
 The atmosphere on the surface of the world our team is exploring supposedly has too high a density of carbon dioxide to breathe safely, but once they go DOWN into a cave, it magically disappears. But CO2 is 54% denser than air; if anything, it would be MORE concentrated the deeper you go.
 By the same token, if it really were well below zero (whether Celsius or Fahrenheit) as reported, you wouldn't have running water, and you WOULD be able to see your breath.
Here are some additional improbabilities that aren't exactly unscientific but don't really make any sense:
 The crew has been kept in suspended hibernation for the 2-year journey, except for David (Michael Fassbender), the android counterpart to HAL 9000. After they're revived, they're briefed on what to expect. There's no reason the briefing couldn't have been conducted BEFORE they departed, when some serious questions could have been raised about what to be prepared for when there was still a chance TO prepare.
 The non-aerodynamic starship Prometheus arrives over its target world and just heads on in, without conducting a preliminary mapping survey from orbit. There is no obvious or stated need for haste. The captain (Idris Elba's Janek) makes everyone else sit down and strap in, but he himself stands without support behind a big metal railing looking out a big shatterable window smack dab in the front of the ship.
 The chain of command of the 17-person crew is horribly screwed up, with a captain, a pair of archeologists (Noomi Rapace's Elizabeth Shaw and Logan Marshall-Green's Charlie Holloway), and a company woman (Charlize Theron's Meredith Vickers) each nominally in charge. This too would have been cleared up before departure by any sane planner.
 The equivalent of the Colonial Marines are more like street thugs and perform poorly under stress. Really? A planetful of mercenaries to choose from for this trillion-dollar expedition, and this is the best they could come up with?
 It's 2093, and we have a European scientific team quoting inches. INCHES!
 Upon discovering the unaccountably low CO2 levels, this team of "scientists" decides it's OK to remove their helmets, because after all, what could possibly go wrong if the air is breathable?
 Equipped with anti-gravity laser mapping spheres and navigational beacons that can transmit thru mountains, 2 team members wander off and manage to get lost in the tunnels of the cliff-like "pyramid" they're exploring.
 They drag this dessicated head of a space alien back to the ship to perform an autopsy on it, and who gets to do it? The doctor? No. The biologist? Nope. It's the archaeologist! Way to put together a team, guys!
 A woman is impregnated and gives birth via C-section less than 12 hours later to something that looks like it runs a good 5 kilos. Its sole source of that material was her body, so she should be exceedingly debilitated, to say nothing of having been sliced open and summarily stapled shut. Yet she performs like a trouper for the next hour.
 I will cut the aliens some slack over their unaccountable preference for lumps, bumps, ridges, wrinkles, corrugations, and protuberances in their architecture. It doesn't make any sense from an engineering standpoint, but hey, they're ALIENS!
 And here's a final hint. If you're fleeing desperately from a giant rolling wheel, do not run directly away from it. Run crosswise to its path. Idiots!
The acting here is horribly mannered. I was hoping for just ONE naturalistic moment like the famous "Game over, man! Game over!" that Bill Paxton reportedly ad-libbed in Aliens (which was set in the same universe about 80 years later), but no: Stiff and stilted is the order of the day.
What, then, all downers? Not in the other departments. The production design is fantastic in both senses. The story is gargantuan in scope. There are moments of genuine suspense and heroism, believably depicted. There are at least 2 layers of mystery, cunningly resolved. There is a fall and redemption. There is another fall that just keeps going. Corporate greed is pitted against superstition and religion, a battle which I liken to vampires vs. werewolves vs. zombies, in that I hope they all lose, and for the most part they do. There was effective use of 3-D in the opening waterfall scene, in the long slow glide over the monochrome wasteland of the distant moon (actually Iceland), in the thrashing tentacles of one of the bit players, and especially in the holographic maps that showed the progress of the exploratory team.
Sadly, these genuine accomplishments don't suffice to make me overlook the one-dimensional performances and the many incongruities and improbabilities — ALL OF WHICH COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED if the writers (Jon Spaihts and Damon Lindelof) had consulted a decent science adviser. Or even me.
I had high hopes for this film. Director Ridley Scott, after all, gave us Alien and Blade Runner, plus the non-genre films American Gangster, Black Hawk Down, and Thelma & Louise, so we know he's got greatness in him. This is not an example of it. Sorry.