Holy $#!@% do I hate anime!

Rating: 1/10 (22 April 2001)

Let me start off by informing you of my prejudice against anime. I don't have any conceptual or philosophical differences with it, it just grates on my nerves. Nonetheless, I felt compelled to watch this movie, given the rave reviews by critics, its acclaim by the film students I know, its notable American voiceover stars, and the fact that my stoner friends popped it in the DVD player so it was either watch it or leave.
Well, several root-canal painful hours later I felt I could hate anime in a whole new light. I came away thinking that the movie did indeed have impressive animation that I still find obnoxious and tackled some environmental issues in a heavy handed way. I thought that if American drawn characters could have been put onto the lusciously drawn backgrounds and the shrill jeremiads the characters were always launching into replaced with more subtle dialogue then I could at least give it a 5 out of 10 for not completely p***ing me off.
But lo and behold I was wrong. Or so I was informed by some pretentious anime fan. Apparently all the environmental subject matter is really just a Western construct being super-imposed onto the movie by audiences who don't understand Shinto mythology. Well Lah-dee-frickin-dah. You mean I didn't even understand it? Excuse me for not having a degree in Asian studies, but I don't think that should be a requirement to see friggin cartoon. Am I uneducated and insensitive to Japanese film making? Have I misunderstood Kurosawa's movies all these years? Was I suckered in by the lack of constant yelling and screaming? Was I merely projecting Western values onto his characters? Or was he really a genuinely good director who could make movies about people from another place and time that transcend seemingly disparate cultures?
Luckily, I don't think this film will ever supersede cult status so the rest of us who are too "mainstream" won't have to suffer through it again. Call me crazy, but I like the Coen Brothers, Coppola, Levinson, Whit Stillman, and of course Kurosawa.