Not even enough escapist fun to justify the price of the ticket

Rating: 2/10 (29 May 2010)

Perfectly banal and overwrought, with CGI and other special effects that move at the speed of light and make a crap load of noise, but are completely incomprehensible in terms of understanding who is doing what to whom or why any of it matters. Jake Gyllenhaal is hunky and pretty in Arab drag, but he and all the other actors are basically just collecting their paychecks; apparently no one told Ben Kingsley that it was all essentially a big joke, because he occasionally tries to transmit an actual emotion, which makes him look ridiculous (even more than all the mascara he was wearing) in the context of the others who are literally cartoons. Richard Coyle is arguably the worst, but the inevitable "princess who must be saved and screwed (Gemma Arterton) is an utter, irremediable dog and my eyes bled every time she appeared on screen.