Jane Austen would hate it.

Rating: 4/10 (16 November 2005)

This is not a good film. It has good parts, but, in the end, it simply is not a good film. It is especially bad if you have actually read the book. For one thing, there is an unnerving juxtaposition of charging action (leaving the story so rushed it appears that the events that should have unfolded in the course of many months seems to occur in a few weeks) and lengthy, artistic, and dawdling, though admittedly beautifully, shots that, however beautiful, inspire the audience to wonder whether the story could have been fleshed out maybe just a little bit more if we left out at least three of the five minute scenes where absolutely nothing happens. I understand that it is difficult to fit that much story into a relatively short amount of time and still have room to be artistic, but, I feel I must ask, if it cannot be done well, should it even be attempted? Squashing it into a two-hour slot does not do the story justice.
Also, I must admit to having giggled my way through this movie, not because of Jane Austen's incredible wit (though there were a few lines, even new ones, that were genuinely amusing), but because the film is so terribly clichÃ© and melodramatic that it is, sadly, too laughable. Entire scenes were changed in order to cater to the "chick-flick" market, the members of which apparently want movies comprised of nothing but recycled cheese. I won't even discuss the extra scene at the end of the movie added on to our American edition. Jane Austen, I think, might have felt a bit insulted.
To give credit where credit is due, the actors did seem to give their all to the parts they were given. It certainly is not Matthew MacFadyen's fault that he's no Colin Firth (a disappointment only intensified by Mr. Firth's appearance in a trailer for his forthcoming film - an amusing little coincidence I look back on with a sort of subdued delight), nor is it his fault that his lines drip with cheese (and not expensive French cheese, but the liquor-store, aerosol-can cheese). Keira Knightley reinvents Elizabeth Bennet, and while I can't say I completely agree with the interpretation, I must admit she does it well. Jane is beautiful. Bingley is lovable. Miss Caroline Bingley was, I think, my biggest surprise. Kelly Reilly is wonderfully cold and civil, not even deigning to lower herself to a level which would permit her to snipe with Elizabeth. The interaction between Miss Bingley and Elizabeth was, I think, my favorite out of all the relationships portrayed in the movie. It was just so perfectly played. Judi Dench was, of course, fantastic - perfectly haughty - and Donald Sutherland added a vulnerability to the part of Mr. Bennet that I found rather refreshing. Sadly, one of my favorite characters, Colonel Fitzwilliam, is not only underused and practically ignored, but also terribly unattractive (My apologies to Mr. Booth for my frankness).
I won't even begin to expound on my dislike of how the character of Mr. Darcy was chewed up and spat out. Were Darcy an actual person, a living, breathing being, he would be absolutely horrified by some of the things he does in this movie. He... no, I won't elaborate. I wouldn't want to spoil it.
Yes, the movie is cute in parts, but hardly worth the $10.00. Please believe me, if you adore Jane Austen's beautiful work, do not see this movie. It resembles more the terrible sequels you can find at any online bookstore than the original classic on which it is based. However, if you are anything like me at all, you probably won't be satisfied until you do see it. I understand. However, may I just point out, in closing, that while the ticket may cost you $10.00, a can of EasyCheese cannot possibly cost more than $5.00, and that is what this movie is - processed cheese.