The most infuriating film of my existence.

Rating: 2/10 (14 May 2006)

If you watch this make sure there is nothing valuable near you, because you will have picked it up and thrown it before the half-hour marker. No exaggeration. For anyone who has ever even skim-read Pride and Prejudice this film will bedevil you like nothing else. For those who haven't, and were spurred to watch it by more than Knightley's pout or the piercing stare of Matthew Macfadyen, this film will confuse and deeply disappoint you. Especially considering it's baffling BAFTA nominations/awards.
I'll be constructive and start with its few redeeming features, which prevent me from giving it a resounding 1 out of 10. Judy Dench turns in an excellent performance as Lady Dalrymple, cold, reserved and ugly in a temper. Rosamund Pike is also good as the sweet, gentle Jane. The cinematography, though unnecessary and melodramatic, is stunning. For anyone who's read Jane Austen the sweeping landscapes will evoke her lines on the beauty of nature. Again if you haven't it's just pretty awesome. Despite an overall rather wooden performance Macfadyen does give Darcy moments of real tenderness and passion. Also Donald Sutherland's interpretation of Mr. Bennet was interesting, if different from my personal one.
Where to start with the bad...Knightley replaces all the archness and sweetness of Lizzy, the main character, with sarcasm and sultry looks. So much of the film is spent on close ups of Lizzy/Knightley thinking and crying that we never see the energy and liveliness of mind that Darcy is supposed to fall in love with. I give them kudos for the real on-screen chemistry but seeing as they never actually kiss and you don't even see them get married you finish the movie unsatisfied. It's a shame because it was a real chance for Knightley to show she could do more than 2D characters.
I could criticise the rest of the cast but the fact of the matter is that none of them have been given enough screen-time or the right lines to develop their characters in depth. Conversations are cut and rushed through. Pivotal characters such as Bingley, Wickham and Jane are pushed aside for less significant ones (Mr. Collins, Charlotte, Mary). There was not one single on-screen relationship, friendship or family-bond that was convincing or warm.
The plot is raced through, jumbled up and changed to make room for over-dramatic closeups on Knightley and a couple of fancy camera tricks. It must be incomprehensible for someone who's not familiar with the storyline.
It's impossible to watch it without comparing it to the BBC adaptation. No comparison. Even the costume and design is bland. I cannot believe the director won a Bafta. This was the most infuriating film of my existence. I want my 127 minutes back, please.