Unbelievably awful

Rating: 1/10 (6 July 2013)

I saw an execrable stage performance of an "up-to-date" version of P&P in which, when Mrs. Bennet insisted that Lizzy listen to Mr. Collins's proposal, she actually dragged her, kicking and screaming, offstage. So I figured nothing could possibly be worse. I was wrong. From Keira Knightly's smirking and mugging, to the younger sisters' incessant screeching, to the lack of decorum in dancing and visiting (Bingley in Jane's bedroom?) and the historical inaccuracies in houses, clothing, and social conventions, this movie was unwatchable. The first time I tried to watch it, I quit when Elizabeth ran outside to take some rags off the clothesline. This time, I got as far as the pig's hindquarters wandering through Longbourne. The Bennets are landed gentry although not fabulously wealthy; Elizabeth tells Lady Catherine, "I am a gentleman's daughter." No one in the family works: Mr. Bennet spends his days in the library, the girls do needlework, visit, and write letters and they keep at least three servants that are mentioned in the book: a housekeeper, a cook, and a groom. This could have been translated into a modern version (think a rich young attorney versus Prince William)--but it wasn't. It was laughable, but also tragic that so many people who "loved" it have no concept of a world that existed before they were born, and one that existed far longer than our modern one. From Juliet to Eliza Bennet to me in the 1950s, no girl would have dared to show such disrespect to her parents-- she (and I) would have been thrown out of the house. And since she couldn't earn her own living, she followed the golden rule --whoever has the gold makes the rules. This movie is the antithesis of Austen's intentions. Watch Elizabeth Garvey in the earlier version and see how a strong will can coexist with graciousness and manners.