Marathon in a half hour? Probably not...

Rating: 4/10 (23 November 2005)

I confess I've loved her ever since our meeting seven years ago. Whereas I used to abuse her with a Darcy-like arrogance, "my knowing her better improved my opinion" of her. Jane Austen--after my wife--has been one of the most influential females in my life. She's witty, wise, and can pin a scoundrel down like an eight year old boy can pin down an insect on cardboard. Bottom line, I love the woman for her gifts to humanity.
Pride & Prejudice being one of my favorite books (and the Firth-Ehle movie version a cinematic staple in our home), I cringed at the thought of a 127 minute version. But alas...my wife, sister, and I happily journeyed to the theater for at the very least a few moments of Austen enjoyment.
About a half hour into the film I felt like I was watching someone try to play a super-glued accordion: the scenes had no breathing space; hence no music. I noticed my wife's restlessness concerning which, when I asked her about it, she replied that "This version seems claustrophobic." I agreed.
Had I not been suckled on the real thing and also exposed myself to the A&E version, I think I "might" have had a fighting chance of enjoying it...somewhat.
Real character development demands time, and time is not what the Knightley version gives its audience. I'll try to be somewhat helpful below.
There are a few bright spots: 1. Simon Woods is quite a bit sillier (a bumbling Brit rock star type) than Bonham-Carter is as Mr. Bingley, and thus evokes more laughs, including his, was it, "incorrigible ass(?)" comment. 2. The proposal scenes (excepting Mr. Collins') are quite a bit more tenderly drawn out (very un-British) satisfy the yearnings of (post)moderns for absolute access into everything holy. 3. Wickham is quite a bit more believably attractive as a Lizzy suitor. 4. There are a few spots which will jolt the tear-making machinery out of its rusty slumber...(Lizzy and Jane's affection and happiness for one another and Mr. Bennett's deep and moving satisfaction concerning his beloved Lizzy's love for Darcy.) 5. The soundtrack will be melodramatically pleasant. 6. This version's cinematography is thoroughly sensual and the characters (the likable ones) much more so (this seems the most important requirement for a movie these days) than any other version to date (However, as my wife pointed out, Mansfield Park better achieves the balance between sensuality and well-done character development).
The bruised spots: 1. The length. P&P is too complex a story for a mere two hours. 2.Hence, Lydia, Kitty, and Wickham seem added to the movie just to make it work (without the viewer ever being able to move beyond mere acquaintance with them) 3. Tom Hollander's (as Mr. Collins) proposal to Lizzy is way too rushed and stands in need of quite a profound re-take (I do, however, love his performance in "Wives and Daughters"). 4. Lizzy's character (this is not slight to Knightley, maybe rather the script writers/director)- there were many very un-Lizzy-like comments. The examples that irked the most were Lizzy's outright disrespectful (though true) comments to her parents. Austen does a fantastic job of depicting Lizzy's inward frustration with the foolishness of her parents while at the time tempering her comments with love, respect and restrained British politeness. The recent version attempts to Americanize Lizzy into the typical 21st century "speak my whole mind, even the ugly, rude and whatnot" young adult. 5. Lizzy tromping about in her nightgown in the early morn and chancing to meet Mr. Darcy strolling massively out of the fog 6. The hideously laughable "Goddess-Divine" comment at movie's end. 7. The length... again. It's impossible to pull this off.
After the movie, I felt like I could justifiably conclude that real Austen fans will enjoy a few moments but will be left with a bad taste in their mouths until they return home for some delicious Firth and Ehle sustenance. Better yet, read the book...so the literature/cinema polarization always seems to go...