Tale of Two Whores

Rating: Null/10 (29 March 2006)

Find your town's skid row and look for the whores. Don't hire any of them, just examine them. Do any of them look glamorous or in possession of a "heart of gold" or anything other than pathetic? You know where I'm going with this, don't you?
Pretty Woman is the ultimate Hollywood story of a streetwalker (Julia Roberts) who just happens to be sweet and pretty and wholesome (except that she's a hooker) and how she gets hired to service a whorish corporate raider who is pretty and has a heart of gold (Richard Gere).
I don't need to go into any more detail than that. Suffice it to say that somewhere after she goes down on him and he buys her a really big closetful of clothes, they fall in the sort of love that makes the girls reach for their tissues and the guys reach in their pockets, hoping that stroking their ignition keys will make the stupid and morally reprehensible movie go away.
Pretty Woman is skid row gutter trash and, unfortunately, it makes the gutter in Hollywood look glamorous.