It's Stupid

Rating: 3/10 (15 September 2010)

Pocahontas is very possibly Disney's worst creation. This movie has two (count them: two) redeeming qualities. 1: The music is pretty cool. Not astounding, not amazing (it doesn't even come close to The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, or even freaking Aladdin), but pretty cool. 2: The animation is nice to watch. Again, not astounding, not amazing (nowhere near as cool as The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, or freaking Aladdin), but it is a high point of the film. Other than that, it blows.
The biggest problem with the movie is that it pretty much takes US history and Native American history and rapes it. Pocahontas, instead of being like 13, is a full 18. Why? So she can have a love affair (something too often milked by Disney) with John Smith, whom is basically worshipped in this movie. Granted, I don't think historical accuracy should make or break a film, but here, it's WAY off. It's like if a movie depicted George Washington with superhuman strength. We kill Native Americans for gold, Pocahontas and John Smith communicate through freaking *magic*, and coastal Virginia is abundant in cliffs. Cliffs!
And it's also saying something if I didn't even find this movie very entertaining when I was younger. Not because of the historical inaccuracies, but because it's just stupid. The characters are bland as sh*t, all of the parts concerning magic are nonsensical, and the storyline is wholly undeserving of its "epic" depiction. I put the word "epic" in quotes because even though they did try to make it look epic, at the end of the day, it just didn't happen.
So, Pocahontas's biggest problem is that it's stupid. I feel like the filmmakers never bothered to read any history or anything about this subject. At all. And the characters are dull, the voice actors aren't really all that interesting, and the dialogue is pretty much worthless. Not Disney's best endeavor. Very possibly Disney's worst.
3/10