so horrible it was actually painful...

Rating: 1/10 (6 March 2005)

I'm not going to beat around the bush here, so I'll just start by saying that this is the worst movie i've ever seen. I've watched some pretty horrible movies but watching Pitch Black was the closest I've ever come to actually walking out of the theatre (prevented only by my refusal to pay for a whole movie and only watch half (and my fear that if i walked out i would miss the only good part.... which incidentally never arrived...)). Forget about the second rate trying-to-be-a- sci-fi-short-story plot, the horrible acting and the un-pronounceable/easy to confuse character names. Though they all contributed to the "awful"rating what really took the cake was the actual physical pain caused by the movie. When I go from no light to blinding brightness, it causes my eyes more than just a little bit of pain. So we get either "can't see because there's no light" or "can't see because I'm BLIND" ?... great film making, good job. I get that its called "Pitch Black" but if i wanted to sit in complete darkness and listen to people talking I could just turn off my living room lights and turn on the radio. Though i suppose if was to properly simulate the experience of watching Pitch Black, i would have to get a friend (or enemy) to stand right in front of me and (at random intervals) flash a thousand watt light bulb in my eyes. good times... though i suppose at least I'd never have to sit through the pain of accidentally seeing vin diesel again and reliving the whole horrific experience that was Pitch Black.