Pitchin' Blanks

Rating: Null/10 (10 March 2000)

I have NEVER walked out of a movie. That is, I HAD never walked out of a movie until Monday night, when I stumbled into Pitch Black. What a ridiculous premise!! A lost crew that happens to contain *a highly intelligent and dangerous criminal with a history of escape* crash lands on a random planet light years away where, miraculously (and COMPLETELY unaddressed), the air is the same as earth, the temperature, while "warm," is virtually the same as earth, and three suns and strange bats notwithstanding, looks REMARKABLY like the Gobi desert!! Keep in mind, we have yet to find a planet in the universe ANYTHING like this (or even find proof that one exists), yet these space tourists have a glitch in their program and *happen* to land on one -- and then are not at all surprised by the conditions. If you can imagine, the film devolved from there. Mostly TERRIBLE acting (esp. by the female lead), HORRIBLE writing (I mean, the worst), and an entirely disinteresting storyline. With the exception of some cool lighting and color tints, this film has NO redeeming value. I was yet again left asking how, in an age when SO MANY people want to make movies, films like this get made. One of the worst ever.