arrrrr it be full o' piratey goodness

Rating: Null/10 (11 August 2003)

Pirates of the Caribbean is by far one of the most entertaining films I have seen in a very long time. After the betrayal of Matrix Reloaded I was not prepared to enjoy this film quite as much as I actually did. Perhaps because it was not what I expected.
It is not actually a comedy and despite the subject matter it ironically avoids descending into absurdity (unlike the last 3 James Bond films) to get big laughs. It does however have some golden moments, the dialogue is sharp, the story is coherent and believable.
What is it then? It is a hard core action adventure and the strangest thing about it is how believable it actually is. I think this is because it offers something more than just great special effects and swash buckling sword fights (both of which give Gladiator and Lord of the Rings a run for their money).
The characters have very human and real motivations: love, greed, honour, the desire to be free. All those visceral and primitive emotions that every human heart has experienced at some time lend that essential 3rd dimension to an otherwise conventional tale of high seas adventure, cursed treasure, and, of course, Pirates. There aren't any real surprises but at least you know what is going on.
Johnny Depp is just magical as Captain Jack Sparrow but his camp Keith Richards swagger has excellent competition in Geoffrey Rush's villainous Barbosa. Again there was the potential for things to end up being cartoonish but the performances created authentic and interesting characters. Orlando Bloom's love lorn William Turner is just lovely on so many levels. Most of the fun comes from seeing how difficult it actually is to buckle a swash. What ever that is.
It makes a change for the Characters and Writing to make the film instead of the effects.
It is difficult to find something bad to say to about the film but since no film can be perfect I would have to say the least believable thing was the 'love interest'. But it is perhaps the habit that Hollywood has of putting 21st century females into period films that made her a bit too butch for a well born lady of the time. The fact that she could actually swim is even suspicious.
Maybe it was just the air conditioned comfort that made it so good (it was 100 degrees outside at the time) but I am going to give Pirates of the Caribbean *3 pairs of pants.
1. it was almost 3 hours long. In spite of its Piratey goodness no film has any excuse to last 160 minutes.
2. I did not go to this film to see anything involving a woman. One could have easily done with out the wench in my opinion. The story would have been a bit different but no less interesting and probably much shorter.
3. they didn't have my favourite candies at the pick and mix.
4. the last 10 minutes or so did get a bit silly. I wont tell you what that is all about but I am sure you will agree a better ending could have been provided.
5. For some reason it is affiliated with Disney.
Ok I know that is five pairs of pants and I only gave it three but it was about PIRATES and let's face it, that Orlando Bloom is one exemplary piece of buccaneer booty. Huzzah!
*please note that the clareangelus Pants scale is all about how bad a film ISN'T. The fewer Pants you get the better it is!