...and a bottle of rum! (Or two. Or three even.)

Rating: Null/10 (9 July 2003)

I watched this last night at a sneak preview here in NYC and I came away impressed. Johnny Depp has proven that he is the man, once and for all. I swear, from the moment you first see him, you're gonna have a big smile on your face. He's hilarious. That entrance was priceless. I kid you not when I tell you that it is worth shelling out the ten bucks just for his performance alone. Think of him as a Raoul Duke toned down for the Disney audience. As for the rest of the movie, I found it very enjoyable and the only thing that I'd complain about is the length which was a tad bit much. You start feeling it a little after the two hour mark. Also, there's something about a Bruckheimer produced movie that makes me want to throttle the man. It gives the movie a slightly canned, "Bruckheimer Style" flavor that makes me want to jam a finger down my throat and purge Monty Python's Meaning of Life style. The music, the chaotic action, I don't know. I'll say it upfront, I don't like the man but you probably figured that out already. Keira Knightley is damn fine. Thank god seventeen is legal in New York because I was kind of starting to feel bad thinking about how I would have liked to plunder her treasure. Filthiness aside, she played her part well, though her character's importance became irrelevant after the halfway mark. Orlando Bloom, while well cast, needs to be given a part that stretches his abilities a bit more. With a two hour plus runtime, there was no excuse for not having his character fully fleshed out and simply having him stare angrily at any of the villains. Maybe I'm wrong but I just felt he was sadly under used. Speaking of villains, Geoffrey Rush seems to be perfect in these types of scenery chewing, teeth gnashing roles. His performance here reminded me of his unapologetic performance in "House on Haunted Hill", the best thing about that particular movie. He makes for a good bad guy, so much that you never really hate him. He's a joy to watch as well. The direction by Gore Verbinski was surehanded and whoever was responsible for the writing gets kudos also. I found myself laughing a lot more than I thought I would, believe it or not. The action was pretty chaotic but on occasion goes on for longer than it should. The special effects were pretty good but I think ILM has been falling off as of late. I'm not trashing their work but it just seems uninspired these past few films (cough... cough...Dreamcatcher... cough) In the end, it's Depp's picture all the way. Thankfully this movie knows that it's supposed to be fun and not self-important. Not a bad way to spend two and a half hours. And if you do end up watching this and you don't enjoy hearing Captain Jack Sparrow slur every other word, I don't know what else to tell you. Rating: ***1/2 out of *****.