Mushy and slow

Rating: 2/10 (25 August 2003)

What a terrible movie!! I give it a two, because Johnny Depp is incredible and makes it ALMOST worth it (not quite, really), but there's only that much good he can do to a movie with a botched plotline, and ferociously dim-witted, unfunny dialogs. It hardly made me laugh: one can't squeeze all that much fun out of uninspired actors left on their own, discarded plot elements, random fights, and a slippery glass eye. It seemed it would go on forever: I enjoyed about 5 minutes of it, and hated the rest. A hopeless waste!