good try but no cigar; Curse of the Black Pearl is a Cheap Imitation

Rating: 4/10 (15 July 2019)

Let us quickly review the actors in this film, Depp, Knightley, Bloom, Price and Rush; all of which have done much better work in previous films. In this film, however, a silly pirate movie about zombies that has no logic, science or sex, so must be attached somehow to the Disney fantasy world, is , at best, mediocre eye candy. Depp plays a bisexual pirate with effeminate traits, but serious sexual dysfunction; most likely caused by his alcoholism. Knightly was almost convincing, until she didn't have sex with Depp after an all night orgy of everything else. Bloom is still stuck in his Lord of the Rings Personna, and is the weakest actor in this group, Pryce has to play the "father" role, and basically gets a hand job (which he eventually defeats) in this film, and Rush seems to have the best time of all, having fun playing a despicable pirate in charge of a literally skeleton crew. The film is sometimes funny in the beginning, bogs down in the middle, and is about a half hour or more too long. Strictly for children and teens high on cheap beer.