Good summertainment. Pass the rum.

Rating: 6/10 (17 July 2003)

**Warning! Mild Spoilers Ahead!**
If I were given $125 million and told to make a B-movie about pirates, "Pirates" would be something I wouldn't mind coming up with. The flick works because it doesn't quite take itself seriously. Had it been a straight forward movie, boredom would have set in sooner, but the tongue-in-cheek humor makes it endurable.
At the core of the askance goofiness is Johnny Depp, who plays Captain Jack Sparrow, a pirate of questionable skills and methods, in a half-drunk manner that can't be taken too seriously. He embodies all things pirate, complete with cliches, sarcastic remarks, and rum. Initially his odd mannerisms threw me, as I didn't quite understand why he couldn't walk straight. But as his character was fleshed out, everything made sense; and Depp's brilliance was understood. He and his character carried the movie, in part because every time Pirates drifted towards over-the-top seriousness, a mere glance or comment from Depp put it back in its proper place. Popcorn movies don't usually supply opportunities for great performances, and maybe there wasn't one written. Depp, however, took the part to a level beyond the movie itself.
The rest of the cast ranged from servicable to good. Orlando Bloom finally starred in a movie without his pointy ears, and did quite well as blacksmith apprentice Will Turner. Although he didn't have much to work with in a combination role as both straight man and hero, he filled those roles admirably, proving once again that he has a stellar screen presence.
The striking Keira Knightley, in a slightly different role than Bend it Like Beckham, doesn't have much to do as the damsel in distress. But she presents Elizabeth as a step up from the token screamer. Her long figure and bold facial features (Natalie Portman-esque) draw attention as well. She and Bloom make quite the on-screen duo.
Geoffrey Rush leads the rest of the cast as Captain Barbossa, the requisite evil pirate and Sparrow's nemesis. He eats up his part, nearly outdoing Depp in the campiness department. Everyone else is competent, looking their parts well, but doing little more.
Aside from Depp's performance, the look of the movie was the highlight. The rich and colorful palette of the film enhanced the bold lifestyle embraced by such rogues. The sweeping cinematography, meant to be seen on the big screen, captured the feeling of living such a sea-bound life, providing an experience that truly felt on location.
Much has been made of ILM's skeletal special effects, and they deserve whatever praise they receive. Simply designing the skeletons and their smooth movements is impressive enough. But the real accomplishment is the phenomenally fluid transition of the undead from flesh to bone when moving in and out of moonlight. This movie should at least get a look when the Academy Awards come around.
Surprisingly for a pirate movie, the sound is quiet during the opening scenes, so quiet that the rumbling bass from the neighboring theater intruded on my screening. But once the action accelerated, the sound did as well. Fortunately it did not reach the ear-splitting levels of previous Bruckheimer fare like "Armageddon", plateauing at a loud but manageable volume, providing a pleasant aural experience.
That experience was enhanced by the score of Klaus Badelt. He is clearly a disciple of Hans Zimmer, as the music rings of Zimmer's "Gladiator". It is also reminiscent of "Mask of Zorro". The strings and horns drove forward with the action of the movie, especially during the climactic scenes. Some may find the music over-bearing, but for a movie such as this, it is quite appropriate.
As much as I've raved thus far, I rate this movie only 6 out of 10 (still a thumbs up in my book) for a number of reasons. Unfortunately, "Pirates" has a running time (nearly 150 minutes) that matches the titular length. Trimming 20-30 minutes off, mostly at the beginning and end, would have made this film much better, limiting the lulls between action. After the humorous introduction to Sparrow, the exposition was too long. Depp portrayed the part well enough that we didn't need every single aspect of his character explicitly shown. In the last half hour, the battle scenes between the undead and the British, while visually attractive, were both too long and unnecessary. Since the pirates were immortal at that point, shouldn't they have overrun the British more quickly? They could have easily reached the ship later and just commenced the fight when the curse was lifted. The inclusion of a mandatory happy-ending epilogue was fine, but it too dragged, because the writers had to politely wrap up the love triangle.

Speaking of which, the whole Elizabeth-Commodore Norrington romance angle should have been axed. Not only did it add length, it overstated the fact that Elizabeth and Turner were going to fall in love. Speaking of needless romantic angles, the ambiguous past between Sparrow and Anamaria should probably have been trimmed too. I'm guessing there was more to it in the original cut, but most of that was eliminated, leaving the small remaining parts out of place.
Speaking of out of place, the comedic relief pirates and soldiers, although amusing at first, quickly wore out their welcome. Characters such as theirs are usually present in Disney movies, but in a more 'adult' flick, particularly one already replete with humor, the cheap comedy only annoyingly slows down the pacing.
But the biggest problem with Pirates is that for all its positives, the movie still is not truly interesting. It does engage, but does not pique interest. There is just too much going on between too many people to really care about what's occurring. Don't get me wrong. It's an enjoyable film from which you will likely remember a handful of images; but outside of Captain Jack Sparrow, the depth is lacking. Maybe that will be remedied in the inevitable sequel(s)...
Bottom Line: Good summertainment. 6 of 10. Pass the rum.