Just bad

Rating: 3/10 (20 February 2004)

When I sat down to watch this movie, I was expecting to see a movie that was decent at best. I was very surprised to find how unbelievably bad it was. The plot is non-sensical jibberish. The characters are all one-dimensional, either good-to-the-heart, or bad-to-the-bone, with absolutely no variations. The acting is horrendous, Johnny Depp is like a washed-up rock-star, heavily drugged and very drunk, the entire time. Orlando Bloom is nothing but a simple rehash of the knight in shining armor, if only a bit more easily tolerated. Keira Knightley is just a damsel in distress, pure and simple, nothing else. Something I found ridiculous, was that every other character, even minor characters, mastered sword fighting. The humor is unbelievably childish, at several times it was on the level of the newer Simpsons episodes, which made me cringe more than I believed was possible. All of the CGI effects were very bland, most looked like they could easily have been made at the same mediocre quality several years ago. Why so many people claim this is a great film eludes me. If you ever even consider to sit down and watch this, make sure you keep your expectations very low. Very overrated. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone, as it is simply too long, too boring, too bland and too cringe-worthy to be the least bit enjoyable. 3/10