Booooooooooooooring

Rating: 5/10 (28 June 2004)

This is another one of those highly over-popular films like the Lord of the rings trilogy. Of the main cast, the only two actors that I liked were Geoffrey Rush and Johnny Depp, but the rest, especially the over-pretty girl, all make me cringe. The people that made the film were obviously intending to make a swashbuckling classic, but instead they made a swashbuckling pile of cow diarrhoea. It is insulting in the memory of such real swashbuckling heroes of the cinema, such as Erroll Flynn. If this film had been made in the 1930s it would have been a million times better without a doubt, basically because it would be entirely different. I am going to get murdered by the entire world's population of women for saying this, but Orlando Bloom is nothing but another one of those really annoying pretty-boys, but, to be fair, that is just the opinion of an ugly teenager who has to go into school each week and watch all those bloody pretty-boys snogging whoever they want, while all the girls look at me and in disgust. But in my opinion, being ugly and being well aware of the fact isn't such a bad thing. It makes you wiser. But that has nothing to do with the film that I am reviewing so why the hell am I talking about it? Anyway this film is pointless and overlong and completely pathetic, and I am pretty sure that if pirates knew that this film was going to be made, they would have decided to become regular bank-robbers. 5/10 (I am giving it such a high score for Geoffrey Rush's sake. You rule Geoff.)