Johnny Depp Does Cool Stuff!!!!

Rating: 4/10 (7 December 2009)

Johnny Depp is in this movie. He wears a cool hat and swaggers about like a drunken bohemian on the loose in a boarding school. I could watch him for hours.
There's other stuff in this movie. Orlando Bloom possibly plays the hero, but he's about as boring as he's been in every other movie he's pretended to act in. Keira Knightley fails to fill out her dress, but that's okay because she's cute too. Geoffrey Rush plays another retired rock star, and between him and Depp the movie is nearly watchable.
I stayed awake through this movie the first time. The second time, not so much. The third time, I'm not sure. I intentionally turned it on a fourth time while I was on a trans-Atlantic flight and needed to sleep. The plot is kind of unintelligible, with characters escaping and getting captured and being held in prisons and escaping again every five minutes or so, and no one ever bothers to clear up which ship they're on at any given moment. It's a little too lead-footed to really be swashbuckling.
But anyway, it's got Johnny Depp. He's cool, right? He does stuff in this movie, so that must mean something. I'm not sure what, though.