The worst pirate movie ever.

Rating: 8/10 (3 December 2003)

Just kidding. "Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl" is an extravagant and sumptuous feast albeit an awful lot of talking...and we all know pirates were long on plunder and short on words. It's politically correct Disney all the way with this watered down and convoluted family fun fare which has delighted the critics and public alike. However, there was no black eye patch, no peg leg, no hanging from a yard arm, no pieces of eight or dubloons, and its common knowledge that planks were always walked blindfolded which was a big part of pirate fun. Also, what's up with sword fighting someone you can't kill? Good stuff even if it was an encyclopedia version pirating as opposed to the more real good ol' Hollywood version of the buccaneer. (B+)