Rotten Ripe

Rating: Null/10 (22 August 2003)

Getting lost in the sumptuousness of it all was easy to do watching the old masted schooners and the fierce hearties that sail them ballet across the screen. "Pirates of the Caribbean" is this summer's guilty pleasure for this old movie buff. Disney Films are still good at decorating legends and fairy tales that delight a child's imagination. Even the child that still remains in a codger brought up on Bambi and Snow White and The Alamo (Davey Crocket version), the Spanish Main etc. etc.
These new theaters with stadium seating are an answered prayer for old movie lovers. (I sure do like to see old movies in them.) You can actually see the entire screen from almost every seat, and it is huge, and the sound! My god, it comes from all over the place!! And if Orlando Bloom is not quite Errol Flynn, he makes up for it in earnestness and intensity. A standout in Lord of the Rings, this young Brit has matinee idol written all over him. (Do they still call them that?)
So much had been written about Johnny Depp's performance as Captain Jack Sparrow. But I was not really prepared for the campy swagger, one critic said he sashayed, and by gosh, he did!! But remember his Bon Bon in that Cuban writers story. What ghoulish androgyny and eye-liner! An Ancient Mariner cum Flying Dutchmen in Disney-color, yet. I could not stop laughing. And the special effects and warty skeleton mates. Straining every digital trick yet available. It was a ghastly crew! And the real Dutchman in this patchwork fable, Captain Barbossa, is played by Geoffrey Rush, chewing the scenery and spitting out Elgin Marbles. Also the beautiful young (18?) Keira Knightley held her own among the talent heavy males, to be saved from a boring marriage, willing for Senta-like self-sacrifice.
Needless to say, I loved it.