Who would have thought? It's actually good.

Rating: 8/10 (28 March 2005)

You wouldn't have thought a movie based on a ride would be any good. In fact, most rational people would think it was dreadful; a horribly cynical marketing exercise. Imagine my surprise, then, at Pirates of the Caribbean. While it would be perhaps exaggerating to say it is a cinematic masterpiece and one of the great movies of our time, it is a solidly entertaining film and wins brownie points on a number of levels. Johnny Depp plays Captain Jack Sparrow (the Captain bit is very important to him), a pirate who has no ship. When he comes to Port Royal, the happy-go-lucky Sparrow is caught by the marines and sentenced to hang, but he escapes when the dreaded Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and his crew of evil scum of the earth (scum of the sea?), attack the port and kidnap Elizabeth (Keira Knightly), the daughter of the Governor (Jonathan Pryce). Why do they kidnap her? Because she has the last piece of a cursed treasure they plundered years ago, the return of which coupled with their blood will lift the curse upon them, the curse that has turned them into walking corpses. Of course, to say more gives away the plot twists, of which there are several. As a viewer, I spent most of the time trying to figure out if Sparrow is good or bad. Whose side is this guy on? Depp’s performance is a very curious one. He speaks in no particular accent, seemingly Irish, Australian and cockney all in one, and he leaps about the screen, smiling an odd grin and making witty repartee with the others. Depp apparently copied much of his performance from Keith Richards - now that I know that I can see the resemblance (perhaps Depp has a future as a mimic?). He is a pirate, no doubt about it, in that he can never be trusted too far; but how far, of course, is one of the points of the film. The rest of the cast are good too. Orlando Bloom plays the blacksmith unwittingly caught up in Sparrow's wake, mostly to save Elizabeth from the pirates, and does a nice job of the 'young man at sea' routine. Rush, one of my favourite Australian actors, is well cast as the villainous, cursed Barbossa (his eyes and voice always make him seem like a bad guy) and Knightly is sufficient in the role of the damsel in distress, although she comes into her own several times in the film, which is good to see. Unusually for a film like this, the plot and script are actually pretty good. The twists keep coming, the story makes sense, and there's plenty for the characters to do. There are also some very good action sequences, including the Governor's battle with a severed hand (you have to see it) and the final fight between Sparrow and Barbossa. Pirates of the Caribbean is not a movie you go and see if you're into thought-provoking, meaningful and uplifting film-making. Fortunately, I'm not. I like to be entertained, and Pirates entertains nicely. It's funny, dramatic, suspenseful; what more can you ask from a film? Well, actually you can ask for a lot more, but Pirates isn't that kind of film. As it is, it earns points in all categories, and while it's not a master stroke by director Gore Verbinski, it is a solidly entertaining movie, with a yo heave ho and even, at one point, a bottle of rum. Arrrrr. And so on and so forth. Good-o-meter rating: 8/10