How about...redundantly horrible!

Rating: Null/10 (28 November 2003)

This movie is redundant, cheesey, and downright repugnant! Beat the drum, over and over again. Apart from a few good drops in the plot, this movie is terrible. How many times must we endure, the peasant wants the princess, the princess wants the peasant, the daddy wants the princess to marry the gentleman with no personality? Here we go again with the unstoppable, kung-fu, sword wielding, skeletons? (Army of Darkness fan, no doubt! Which happens to be a fantastic and funny movie!) Fight scenes...terrible. The camera pans around some much, I felt sea sick! (Hmm, maybe that was to get you into the picture or perhaps, it was just the movie? I can't really tell!) It was almost an uncongenial task to sit and watch the damn thing! Johnny Depp's character was as shallow as he is, with an array of crappy one liners, and inept, supposed, pirate dialect. He sounded like an arse pirate, with his trademark, "th" with "ff!" "I would like to go wiff you."
So, to wrap this up, "Ay lad, venture into this wiffout a friend!"