Safe, family fun

Rating: 6/10 (28 July 2003)

I don't really see what the big deal was about this movie. It starts out promising, but I was pretty bored throughout the last 40 minutes.
I will admit that all sets, props, and costumes were done with painstaking detail. The pirates are a colorful, entertaining lot. Acting was okay; Depp was amusing, and fake-Winona was nice eye candy. There are some wickedly funny moments, but plenty of stale one-liners and repeat gags as well. They are the kind of cheap shots at humor that can be sure to have the audience rolling on the floor as long as the movie has already roped them in by then.
The ending is naturally cheesy and draws out for way too long. Although not as bad as some, Pirates still had plenty of plot holes for a party pooper like myself to pick at.
***SPOILERS***

when one ship boards another, as the English did when chasing Sparrow and Turner, do they really send EVERY SINGLE PERSON over to the other ship? Wouldn't it make sense to keep at least a handful of people on your own ship?

Why did Sparrow steal a coin from the trunk near the end of the movie? In the end, it just needs to be tossed back in anyway. Was it just so that he could whip it out for drama's sake? "Ah ha! I stole this coin!"

If Sparrow had been under the curse the whole time, then wouldn't he also suffer from the lack of sensory pleasure? He certainly still enjoyed rum.

I had thought that the heroes would break the curse right as the pirates were walking along the bottom of the sea (a very neat scene, by the way). They would have all instantly become mortal and then immediately drown. I was disappointed when they instead waited another 30 minutes, let the ghost pirates kill several dozen people first, fought the immortal pirates themselves for another 10 minutes, and THEN broke the curse. A blown opportunity for a neat ending.

***END SPOILERS***
The special effects were good, but that's not enough nowadays to carry a movie.
I was trying to figure out how this movie pulled off an IMDb 8 out of 10. Here's my theory: the promotions for Pirates successfully scared off the vast majority of would-be critics. The trailers and ads had Disney and BRUCKENHEIMER splashed all over, and that was enough to insure that only the sure-sells would actually pay to see it in a theater. I am predicting that Pirates will not age very well, and the rating will slip over time down to about 7.
Overall, I give Pirates a 6 / 10: worth seeing at least once. Perhaps I am outgrowing the action, adventure genre.