... and it shall be more terrible than you could possibly imagine.

Rating: 2/10 (8 September 2007)

That's not exactly true of this overblown, over-budgeted, over-long, and over-praised piece of garbage. I've seen plenty of things that were worse. But this movie, which is somehow at the time of this writing on IMDb's Top 250 page, was something I greatly anticipated seeing in theaters.
But I, like so many other fans of genuine cinema, was deceived and betrayed. That is because this movie is just another in a *huge* line of recent (dating back to the '80s) films that favor massive amounts of special effects, action, and star power over any semblance of substance. The special effects are good at certain parts (I like the curse reveal), but you can tell they sucked up *far* too much money. And the action is well-conceived, but a two-year-old could execute it a darn sight better. And star power? Don't get me started-- it's sad to think that Johnny Depp has ever been considered as being in that category. He has no talent, no taste, and no respect for either himself or his audience. Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley have potential-- but it all goes seeping out of their heads from just being around Depp (watch the movie; I think you can see the leaks!)
While not wholly poisonous, this dim and dull "blockbuster" is pretty terrible. This is another high-profile example of the recent cheapening of the American cinema.