And a Ho Ho Ho Hum.

Rating: Null/10 (29 June 2005)

"Pirates of the Caribbean" (2002): Once in awhile I ignore my gut instinct, and see a film I KNOW deep down is junk - just to prove I was right, I guess - and I did it again, here. There's something about how the "buzz" of a film travels. Water cooler time-kill. Three beers chit-chat. Stumble into one another quickie-advice. THOSE films are usually ones I do NOT like. T.V. ads have a vibe to them also, even when the stars are those who've done great work before. If it's a "crowd pleaser" - which "Pirates..." was - I should always go with the odds, and avoid it. This thing was hardly fun, hardly witty, hardly anything. It dragged and dragged...and dragged...dragged along under it's own tedious weight. Depp is a slightly gay pirate who knows lots of others with bad teeth. There are two soldiers who take the brunt of silly jokes (the Laurel & Hardy quotient). Special effects and action are required to cover a lack of story while entertaining the small mind, and required "twists" are there to "surprise" same...all this and more added up to nothing satisfying. It's a Disney (NON-Pixar) product, and couldn't be more evident in "McPirates of the Caribbean".