All Swash and Little Buckle

Rating: 5/10 (15 October 2005)

Pirates is potentially a terrible film rescued solely by the talented cast and crew. The plot is as lame as a wooden legged sailor. The directorial kiss of life is apparent right from the entrance of (not so) Able Seaman Depp with a beautifully crafted and acted introduction to the Keith Richards inspired pirate. As is so oft the case from Hollywood a simply shocking plot never stands in the way of the lure of gold. The pirates in this case are the accountants of tinsel town. Geoffrey Rush hams it up in equal measure with Mr Depp and must wonder whether his digital skeletal pirate is as transparent as the plot. Laughing all the way to the bank is the phrase that springs to mind. Enjoy at your leisure but expect to have sacrificed a few brain cells by the time the credits appear.