Great poster, lousy movie

Rating: 5/10 (17 July 2003)

To tell you the truth I can't remember much about the plot--and I just saw it last night! Something about a cursed pirate ship and its crew and how they all turn to skeletons when moonlight hits them and how they need some coins or something to release the curse...I was so bored during this film my mind kept wandering. Maybe I just don't like pirate films but I think there's more to it than that.
This film has some major problems--it's way too long (half an hour could have been cut out easily); the story is (needlessly) convoluted and very badly done (I'm blaming the screenwriters and director, NOT the actors); despite all the explosions and fights the action scenes are surprisingly dull; there's loads of casual violence; leading lady Knightley is constantly being hit in the face and the admittedly great special effects just didn't grab me. There is a spectacular sword fight at the end with the men going in and out of moonlight and going from skeleton to man and back again--but it's too little too late. The direction is WAY off too--he seems unsure of how to frame scenes and it makes things very confusing.
I can't fault the actors--Orlando Bloom (very handsome with beautiful black eyes) is very good in a badly written role. Keira Knightly's role is even worse--she's just "the girl" in the movie and no one could be good in it. Geoffrey Rush is OK as the pirate chief. Johnny Depp is the one reason to watch this movie. His performance is so off-beat and funny he keeps the film afloat. Just his mannerisms and facial expressions give an unexpected kick to lines.
So...this handsome production sinks because of bad direction, ridiculous length and many many boring stretches. Unless you're a huge fan of pirate movies you can skip this one.