Shockingly poor

Rating: 1/10 (22 December 2003)

There has been so much hype about this film, but in reality (well, in my opinion anyway) it is seriously bad. Let me explain myself...
Firstly, Johnny Depp, who everyone thinks has given some career-defining performance, simply hops around dressed as a woman and makes cliched little comments that really grate. Secondly, Depp and Bloom's swordfight near the beginning of the film is horrifically dull. They spend the first few minutes exchanging limp jibes (physical and verbal) walking indifferently around the set... one is left half-asleep. I know the action comes later, but this dull, empty screen-time is unusual for Disney. But the most laughable element of the film (so far) is this absolutely ridiculous idea that between the ragtag, thieving bunch that pirates were, there existed a 'code of honour'. We see in the film one of the characters asking not to be killed because, according to 'the code', she has the right to 'Parley' and can be saved from death and have a nice chat with the captain instead. When the captain later tries to distance himself from this and says that the code is 'less rules...more a set of guidelines' I was crying into my chips. This is Final Destination-quality craziness.
Anyway...just thought you should all know this film really ain't that great.