Deeply Deppy

Rating: 5/10 (31 May 2017)

Pirates of the Caribbean is a film based on a Disney theme-park ride.
This over-long bore-fest is full to the gunnels with swashbuckling and other pirate-based antics. We have Johnny Depp putting in a very Deppy performance indeed, which is no doubt terrific for those who like that kind of thing. In this one he played a pirate in the style of Keith Richards. I personally would have much preferred it if he had did it in the vein of Bill Wyman instead. Wyman's famously slightly tedious personality would have fit this movie quite a bit better and would have been at least a little more amusing, with Captain Jack Sparrow spending a good portion of the film waxing lyrically about subjects as disinteresting as the differences between different types of wood or the differences between different types of flags. It would have been tiresome to watch I suppose but much less intolerable than Depp's irritating Rolling Stones pirate. Generally speaking, the story-line to this one was so tedious that I can't remember it very well at all and am not motivated enough to read the synopsis to remind myself. It seemed to incorporate zombies though, which on the face of it was an okay idea but there also seemed to be a lot of other bits involving people swing on ropes and running around, which I found increasingly more unacceptable as the film progressed. This wasn't for me I suppose, I preferred Captain Pugwash a lot more.