A good old-fashioned, new-age swashbuckler picture!

Rating: Null/10 (14 September 2003)

Ah, now THIS is what I would call a nostalgic glimpse back into the films of Errol Flynn! From the very beginning, this movie sets itself up as the ideal old-school romantic adventure movie! I haven't seen a movie like this since the sixties, and I must say, it has been far too long! I had to sit back and just suck it all in, like a fresh breath of salty sea air, the first time I watched it. A delight! That's what it was: Simply a Delight! Alright, enough with the general singing of praise, hm? Specifically, the movie has all the elements of a movie that make it as great as a classic: Action, Character, Humor, and a Plot that's twisted into a pretzel! In the way of the action, what can I say? There's something irresistibly classic about a swordfight! And the fights were handled expertly in this movie! The stunts, too, were exhilerating to behold (Especially considering how little was done with CGIs, you know!). Moving on, the characters were all wonderfully charismatic in their own way! I think everybody's favorite would be Captain Jack Sparrow, the infamous, legendary pirate, portrayed by Johnny Depp! HE makes the movie purely enjoyable, because he is the amalgamation of the main hero and the comic relief! Also, his humor isn't so...blandly profane, as is usually the sad case this day and age. No, he uses the wonderful art of subtlety and sarcasm in all his dialogue, which makes his character all the more charismatic! The other characters include Will Turner, played by Orlando Bloom. His character is an appreciable variation on the ever-winning archetype of the young romantic hero. His character is even more interesting when you see to what level his swordsmanship is developed, having trained himself in the art while his occupation requires him to forge the blades. He's the amalgamation of the naive romantic hero and the skilled weapons-master, as offbeat a fusion as Sparrow's. Next, there is the leading lady, Elizabeth Swan, Keira Knightley, whose character is, situationally, the damsel in distress. But she is by no means the damsel who awaits rescue, fighting for herself! She is the problem solver, who conquers her challenges with ingenius solutions. And finally, we have the villain: Captain Barbossa, Geoffrey Rush. His character is the delicious combination of the sinister villain, and the everyday human being! Even as evil, vile, and diabolical as he is, there is something wonderfully REAL about his performance! He has a sense of humor, a sense of vulnerability in certain areas, and even a spirit of personal charisma, despite his grotesque persona and lack of morals. These characters also have intriguing relationships between themselves that make them even more enjoyable together! Turner is in love with Swan, and both struggle with that and the difference in their classes; Jack Sparrow is a pirate and a good man, a paradox that Turner and Swan have to come to grips with; Jack Sparrow and Barbossa have a long-lived enmity; Jack Sparrow and Turner become friends (rather analogous to Han Solo and Luke Skywalker); and Swan and Barbossa have a unique relationship as they are both as high class as the other, despite their affiliations, which makes for delightfully elegant dialogue between enemies! The characters also have their individual secrets...But it would be unfair to spoil the movie for those who have yet to sample it themselves. As delightful as it would be to describe myself, this is one of those movies that, like a fine Itallian dish, must be sampled personally! Now then, the humor! Oh, the humor! Everywhere you turn, there is a small joke thrown in! This is the defining twist that saves the movie from drowning in its own seriousness. It is necessary to make the movie fun (especially considering the macabre nature of the essential story by itself). Captain Jack Sparrow offers the most abundant source of laughter, with his Groucho-esque sarcastic response to anything spoken in his general direction! Also, his very character is as much a joke as a hero! Alongside him are two pirates, and two naval soldiers, who serve as a pair of "Abbot and Costello" comic relief teams. They are the fall down men, who are there for the sole sake of being taunted and ridiculed. A funny movie needs characters like them, for after all, what good is a joke without a butt? Finally, whenever Jack and Barbossa are paired together, it is the perfect Straight-Man vs Slick-Wit routine that never disappoints! Those two have a wonderful chemistry, and you can't help but love them together! Finally, the plot! An elaborately twisted, wonderfully convoluted, and sheerly wonderful piece of writing that is! I can't describe it, to be sure. That would be spoiling it, and I have no intention of that, let me assure you. That would be a crime! Suffice it to say that all the characters are believeably arranged into a spider-web of connections that all tie them to a small piece of Aztec Gold and a pirate ship! The web spirals in twisted loops, but streams unerringly towards an exciting conclusion at the center! What makes it even more complex is that there is as much story that is revealed as history as there is on the screen in real time! It is as twisted and convoluted piece of literature as I have ever seen! I could not find anything to complain about in this movie! Everything was wonderful about it! If you haven't seen this one, I assure you, you are missing a delightful experience that will remind you why you go to the movies at all! Rarely does a movie of this high quality come around, and even more rarely does it capture one's interest for two and a half hours! But this one met and beat all my expectations of a modern movie! This was the easily the most enjoyable film I have seen in a long, long time!