Keira Knightley as Winona Ryder

Rating: Null/10 (27 March 2004)

This movie is a composite of every action fantasy pic made since . . . well, since The Goonies.
Every scene was purloined from some other movie. I must admit, I was slightly stumped trying to remember where I had heard, "Jack, Jack," before, but then I recalled the 1976 version of King Kong, and Charles Grodin's appeal to Jeff Bridges' character: "Jack, Jack . . . ."

I was amazed at the resemblance of Keira Knightley to Johnny Depp's old flame, Winona Ryder. When Johnny's tattoo is revealed, I half expected it to reveal "Wino," not some reference to the East India Company. (You do know that Johnny altered his "Winona" tattoo to read "Wino," don't you?)
You know, this movie does nothing more than overload the senses. In fact, it's an assault on the nervous system. This is what movie making has become.
This movie made Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes look like Citizen Kane.

This movie ranks in IMDb's Top 250. Sad.