They just keep getting worse

Rating: 3/10 (30 May 2011)

I was a huge fan of the first Pirates of the Caribbean (it was one of my favorite movies of all time), however, each successive movie has just gotten worse. While the second and third movies at least had some merit, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides has reached an all time low. It is apparent that the film makers are only interested in making money at this point.
I didn't really expect that much from this movie but I at least expected some good laughs, entertaining sequences, and good sword fights. This movie failed to even deliver that much. I found myself extremely bored half-way through and wishing that it would end already. The returning characters are just sad shadows of their former selves and the new characters are boring. My biggest problem was with the new portrayal of Barbossa, who is delivered by a seemingly bored Geoffrey Rush as a rather pathetic afterthought to the movie. Apparently, he is supposed to be this big scary fate for Blackbeard but he really only comes off lame. In fact, the characterization of him in this movie undermines his previously terrifying character in the first movie. He is no longer terrifying but now almost silly.
Blackbeard is not a particularly convincing villain. Most of his evil we seem to be told as background story, rather than actually being shown. He cannot hold his own against the original Barbossa, Davy Jones, or Lord Cutler Beckett. I had a hard time being convinced that he was even worth dealing with.
I did have a soft spot for Penelope Cruz as Angelica, if only because it was nice to finally have a girl that could keep up with Jack in sword-fighting and had an actual Spanish accent (the other Spainards were pretty unconvincing). She certainly tries to entertain, and for that I give her credit, but her storyline is based on a rather flimsy pretense (what the heck was the daughter of a pirate doing in a convent, anyway?) Against my better judgment, I kind of liked the clergy and the mermaid side-story but it didn't really add anything to the movie. It seemed to sort of be just a stand in for Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, without whom Pirates is just not the same. The sort of anonymous "Spanish" group who are sort of supposed to seem like the enemy had me scratching my head. Their part in the movie seemed so utterly pointless, I'm not sure why the film makers included them other than just to have more action.
A couple final issues: All the sword fighting was a sad repeat of the first three movies. It was incredibly obvious that the film makers had run out of ideas. You see almost the exact same moves as in the previous moves (fighting in the rafters, tripping enemies with a rope, etc). I know sword-fighting is sword-fighting but I can't believe that they made it that blatantly repetitive. Also, the funniest moments of the movie were basically those that were in the trailer. If you can boil the number of funny moments down to about two minutes, you know there is not nearly enough of them. Lastly, the ending of the movie was lame. We know that Jack has feelings for Angelica but the whole movie goes by and neither ever really act on them which is just plain frustrating. But that's Disney for you.
If you're a Pirates fan, you'll probably watch this movie no matter what I say (I know I would) but I doubt you'll get much out of it.