The Vidiot Reviews...

Rating: Null/10 (20 October 2011)

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Nowadays, everyone knows the real Fountain of Youth is found inside every bottle of Mountain Dew.
However, pirates in the 18th century–like the ones in this action movie–believed the life extending spring was more isolated and less urine coloured.
After disobeying the King of England's order to find the famed elixir–alongside his rival Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush)–notorious buccaneer Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) finds himself leading a black magic practitioner/pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane) and his daughter (Penélope Cruz) on a similar expedition.
But in order to benefit from the fountain's paranormal properties, Sparrow and crew must first obtain two goblets owned by Ponce de León and teardrops belonging to a mermaid.
The fourth installment of the Disney franchise, On Stranger Tides does steer the series back on course, but at the cost of becoming long in the tooth.
Seriously, only pedophiles still dress like Captain Jack for Halloween. (Yellow Light)