Lacked Depth and Reason to Invest

Rating: 3/10 (23 May 2011)

The initial takeaway is that this was a good movie. It was very visually striking, had an OK storyline and of course the film score was epic. However, upon a closer look On Stranger Tides was not as well written, witty, or emotionally engaging as the first three movies. Overall it left something to be desired. The opening was appealing simply because rarely do we Captain Jack Sparrow on land, let alone such a civilized and formal place such as London. It is already apparent though that the witty dialogue between Jack and Gibbs is lacking and that Jack's uncanny knack for escaping has been taken over the top making it less realistic and more cartoonish.
Angelica, Jack's long lost something (it is never made quite clear what), had a few good moments, but in general she did not inspire the audience's loyalty or investment in her as a character. There was never a moment when you were worried whether she would live or die. Jack and Angelica's chemistry was awkward at best. Similarly, Ian McShane who is obviously a very talented actor, failed to be the antihero that Barbosa and Davy Jones were. Blackbeard simply was not the endearing bad-guy that post-moderns love.
There were so many loose ends and unexplained lucky turn of events. This film could have altogether done away with the Spanish fleet and the "religious boy" Philip who was obviously only there to coax shallow feelings out the audience and a tear from the mermaid. Also, where did Blackbeard's power come from? Obviously, the sword controlled the boat, but what about his ability to create zombie men, put ships in bottles and perform voodoo? The mermaid Syrena also brought with her a few sloppily taken care of details. Blackbeard ties her up to burn in the sun, but we'd previously already seen her being carried through the sun with no effect and later the sun simply melted away her fins revealing legs. Why does Syrena bring back the chalices to Jack, who she has not really interacted with up to this point? Seems like an easy fix. Finally, why does Jack leave Angelical stranded? In fact, who cares whether she is left there or not?
This film also had more religious elements to it than any of the other three movies. People of faith might be excited at the talk of souls being saved and not placing your trust in magic, but these values are shallow and short-lived. The most ridiculous character in the movie was Philip who developed little during the film and whose faith caved with the sight of the mythical mermaid. He was an insipid object of mockery. The Spanish fleet's destruction of the Fountain of Youth reeked of Crusade. The age ol' switch the cup trick forces Blackbeard's redemption upon him, and it is the magic that restores Angelica's life.
Captain Jack Sparrow is always a crowd pleaser, but he even seemed to lack the lovable flair that usually lights up the screen. The ending was just as colorless as the rest of the movie. When asked by Gibbs why he didn't drink from the fountain and choose to live forever, Jack answers, "But better to not know which moment may be your last, every morsel of your entire being alive to the infinite mystery of it all. And who's to say I won't live forever, eh? Discoverer of the Fountain of Youth. I have no saying it, Gibbs. It's a pirate's life for me. Savvy?" Wouldn't it have been easier to have had this conversation in the beginning and skipped the rest? This film had no depth, no reason, no investment, no point.