Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

Rating: 3/10 (13 December 2011)

The very definition of the word "pointless". I would like to start by saying that I admire Disney for scaling down the film. In my opinion, the last two films were too concentrated on creating an engaging mythology to be any fun. However, they have gone too far in the wrong direction. This is just dull. The film is so simple you'd be forgiven for thinking this is the first in the series. The film starts with a number of overlong, but all very similar action sequences. These involve swinging around a lot. So much so, I think Jack may be part monkey. Next we see Jack as a superhero now. Before he was a bumbling fool that got lucky, this was where the comedy came from. Now he seems to have complex plans mapped out.
The most annoying thing is the lazy writing. Twice in this film, characters are saved by other characters that appear out of nowhere. There is no way for the characters that do the saving to know where those in danger are. They just walk out of dark shadows and allow the story to plod along. Blackbeard the pirate all pirates fear, is a useless bully. He isn't scary or interesting. Whereas before we've had skeletal and fish pirates, now we have a guy that can control ropes. Scary stuff.
There's also some bizarre love story between two new characters, a religious nut and a mermaid. I don't know why they are in the film. Probably for some misunderstood teenage romance crap ala Twilight. We also get some boring prophecy stuff. Why ruin so many movies/stories with prophecies? Very rarely do they not come true.
At least Cruz adds a new kind of female character to the franchise. One that is threatening, confused, and also a lot of fun. I really found nothing to enjoy in this movie. The first one made pirates cool, this one made pirates very, very bland.