An insult to audiences everywhere

Rating: 1/10 (19 May 2011)

Just got out of an early screening. Oh good grief, was that bad. It stunk so bad I almost threw up in my own mouth half way through. Three strikes and you are out.
Jerry Blockhammer is on a real roll. Just one turd bomb after another for what, four years now? This is one of the worst big budget films I have ever seen. Devoid of laughs. Devoid of fun. Devoid of originality. Devoid of excitement. Devoid of nipples (mermaids and PG-13 should at least mean a few nip shots, right? Well, I can dream). There is more strategically placed hair and scales than one can possibly imagine. You can make a drinking game out of it.
No Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightly so they are replaced by two actors we don't know and care not for. Their subplot is sickeningly insulting blatantly AWFUL! Every time they appear you want to grab a sword and slit their bony throats.
Johnny Depp should be shot for following up the crap money-grab THE TOURIST with this blatant money grab. It may open big, but I think it will fall fast. Rob Marshall's career is in trouble. He'd better direct a low budget art-house flick, ASAP, if he wants some respect.
Once again, like with THOR's early screening, I saw this in 2D. Thank God. Had I been forced to endure 3D I might have gone postal.
SAVE YOUR MONEY! You have been warned.