Slow the plot down, maties

Rating: 6/10 (21 May 2011)

After a three-year hiatus, most of the cast has returned for the fourth installment of the popular "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise. And while this was nowhere near the thrilling high seas adventure of the first film, it was a least better than part two and as good as the third edition.
It would have been much better, however, had not director Rob Marshall ("Chicago," "Memoirs of a Geisha") scuttled a great deal of the effort by introducing a foundering subplot about a religious sailor and his effort to save a mermaid. During these long, drawn-out and unnecessary sequences, I wondered when the enterprise would tack back onto the main point.
That point being the efforts of three different groups; the Spaniards, the British (led by Captain Barbossa, Geoffrey Rush, "The King's Speech") and Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) tagging along with evil pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane, "Hot Rod," TV series "Deadwood") and former lover, Angelica (Penelope Cruz) searching for the mythical Fountain of Youth.
Following various maps provided by unknown and supernatural forces, these assemblages battle each other as well as the elusive spirit of explorer Ponce De Leon. Other motivations muddle up things, as well; i.e. Jack and Angelica's sexual tension, Jack and Barbossa's ill will and Barbossa seeking revenge against Blackbeard for swiping the Black Pearl.
To reach the fountain, the crews must pass through dense jungles, foreboding forests, swallowing seas and a pack of beautiful but vicious mermaids (easily the most impressive scenes in the film). Of course, there are also plenty of chases, sword-fights, gun-play and derring-doo, mostly pulled off by Sparrow.
In addition, there is the comic touch (again, heavily tilting toward Captain Jack) evident in the past three pictures, although this release is much darker than it predecessors.
None of this bothers me at all, except for the seafaring missionary, Philip (Sam Clafin), and the mermaid Syrena (Astrid Berges-Frisbey), neither of which can act their way out of a wet paper bag. It's the cinematic equivalent of walking the plank or being bludgeoned with a marlin spike.
At two plus hours, the inclusion of this flotsam drags some of this movie to the depths of Davy Jones' Locker, and that character isn't even in this version. The Fountain of Youth is supposed to add years on to one's life, that subplot almost did the same for me.