Dead Men Tell Fairly Decent Tales

Rating: 8/10 (5 May 2018)

So is this movie as dead as the critics are saying? No. Is it better than the original three? Sadly no. Is it better than the 4th? HELL YEAH!!! Here is my critique. Be prepared for some SPOILERS.
First of all, I just want to quickly say that the overall direction for this movie was thought out pretty well. Of course, the execution and final result are a bit different.
The overall story about Captain Jack Sparrow hitting hard times and is then pursued by an army of blood thirsty Spanish Navy ghosts, lead by their psychopathic captain on a quest for revenge, which leads to him going on another adventure where he teams up with two young adults, one of whom being the son of his old comrades Will and Elizabeth, was a great idea. It also has a slightly darker tone that I thought was great. I especially liked how the film has a look and feel that calls back to the original three films, or just the first one, in terms of, again, the tone, as well as in terms of characters and ships. The film could've been a lot deeper and more emotional, especially on Jack's side of the story. It could've been more like Logan where he's lost his way, and everything that goes on makes him emotionally whole again. I especially would've preferred, as always in these sequels, that the story would be more centered on him, but it ends up being spread a bit, which is unfortunate because Jack is generally the only guy I care about in these movies (minus a few exceptional characters). The story may also not be super original since it involves another undead villain with a grudge against Jack of all people, but it still makes the story fun, especially since the villains for this one are ghosts who are already dead.
Now, let's nitpick on acting. I will admit that Johnny Depp isn't at his best in this one. For whatever reason, the level of seriousness for his character went from 90% down to 50%. But honestly, at the end of the day, I'm just glad Johnny Depp is in this film as the legendary Captain Jack Sparrow to begin with, especially with a sword to fight with for that matter, plus Depp still carries some of the iconic quirky charm and clever wit that has made such a great character. The biggest sin for a Pirates sequel would be to not have him and his sword at all. So, yeah... yay Johnny Depp! Javier Bardem is great as the villain, CapitÃ¡n Salazar. I just loved seeing him be so tortured and psychopathic. Sure, he's not that scary, but he is an entertainingly terrifying villain. And of course, always love Geoffrey Rush as Captain Hector Barbossa. Can't say a whole lot about Brenton Thwaites as Henry Turner. I liked that they decided to give Jack another morally-straight partner who happens to be the son of Will and Elizabeth, but kinda like Orlando Bloom as Will (mostly in the sequels) Brenton isn't really that interesting as the goody-two shoes guy, especially since he apparently has almost the majority of the focus in this story. Kaya Scoldelario was a little more okay than him as a stubborn and adamant young woman fighting for her rights to pursue astronomy in a time of 18th century sexism. I'm also glad that this film brings back a few likable supporting characters like Gibbs, Scrum, Marty, Murtogg and Mullroy (the two British soldiers who keep bickering), and some of the new crewmen were an interesting bunch too, but man do I miss Pintel and Ragetti (the short fat guy and his skinny buddy with the wooden eye).
Now for another big part of the movie: the action. (SPOILER) In regard to the one scene I was anticipating the most in this film, let's just say that the eventual Sparrow vs. Salazar sword duel is a lot shorter than I had hoped and preferred, but what little there is in the film is enough to make it even remotely awesome. In fact, overall, all the action scenes combined make the movie pretty awesome, especially this one bit with these ghost sharks, so cool!
Another thing to consider would be the VFX. The VFX is used to terrific effect. The film has so much cinematic beauty. Even the set design is visually pleasing. The VFX definitely helps make the best villains we've seen since Barbossa and his skeleton crew and Davy Jones and his fish men crew. Not like Blackbeard and his zombies, or should I say, a bunch of dudes between 30-60 years old with weird tats and piercings who say their "zombies." And again, ghost sharks are awesome!
If I had to critique on one last thing, it would be the ending. It may not be the ideal ending, but it comes pretty close since it resolves certain issues that the last two movies left unsettled, and is done to beautiful effect visually and emotionally. Definitely a worthy enough ending for the series. But then came this particular scene after the credits. Without giving too much away, the post-credits scene at the end features a vague but huge surprise. It's both awesome, but at the same time shows that they're hoping to make a sequel, that I personally don't need or want, with an idea that they scraped from under the barrel.
Another last thing, I love the music. Geoff Zanelli was a terrific replacement for someone as talented as Hans Zimmer.
So overall, this movie may have a few disappointing moments, but it's still a fun film to watch, and one of the best films of the year. If you're as devoted a fan to Pirates as I am, then I highly recommend that you go see it. Pirate's Life!!!