Enough is enough.

Rating: 5/10 (12 August 2019)

Basically a rehash of the last 4 movies, the fifth installment of the franchise shows how far Jack Sparrow has come since the dizzying heights of Curse of the Black Pearl. He has travelled far, but in a downward direction.
Not being as drawn out as At World's End or as droll as On Stranger Tides is not good enough. Even with the addition of two characters who can be compelling if developed further, Salazar's Revenge seems like the storywriters went back and cherry-picked the best things from the franchise and then tried to spin it out as a new story. There's the legend of a dreadful place that seafarers shouldn't go to, more than a few curses, the undead/evil-incarnate pirate captain with his ghost ship, the naÃ¯ve and idealistic young man seeking to free his father from a curse, the enterprising, enlightened and liberated young woman far ahead of her time, a hilarious robbery sequence, and of course, Jack Sparrow doing his thing. If only.
Jack Sparrow ('Captain' Jack Sparrow, he would've insisted once upon a time) is a shadow of his former self, drinking himself away because he just can't bring back his beloved Black Pearl. Unfortunately, he doesn't get any better, as an uninspired Johnny Depp sleepwalks through the movie. Which is a shame really, as Jack Sparrow is a singularly unique portrayal of a hero in a mainstream movie franchise. The spark and the sashaying, the peculiar swagger and the cocky assuredness in the face of uncertainty are all missing. The script doesn't help either, as this movie doesn't use the character in any way. He's just there. Instead, Henry Turner and Carina Smyth do most of the things of significance, whether it is rescuing Jack from being executed (again), or figuring things out. It's surprising to watch the man who figured out how to escape from Davy Jones' locker being unable to decipher the open sky.
Ian McShane was a disappointment in On Stranger Tides as the legendary pirate Edward Teach. The performance was not suited to the pirate who all other pirates feared (If you want to see what McShane is capable of, watch HBO's Deadwood (2004-06) in which he turned in the performance of a lifetime). But Javier Bardem doesn't disappoint here. With Johnny Depp disappearing again, he's left to save the movie, interestingly, just like Penelope Cruz, his wife, had to with the previous movie. He commands the screen, chewing, spitting and seething as Captain Armando Salazar. There is something about this actor, and he has never failed to excite me in any movie he was in. Channeling something, perhaps left over from No Country For Old Men, he is easily the best character from the last three movies. I almost wish he had gotten his revenge, just to make sure they kept him around for future use.
Brendon Thwaites, who I saw previously in the tepid Blue Lagoon sequel in 2012, as Henry Turner, turns in a performance as a young man seeking to redeem his father that'd make Orlando Bloom proud. Bloom himself makes a cameo, as Will Turner, captain of the Flying Dutchman, to warn Henry that some curses cannot be broken, and to stay away from Jack Sparrow, which like every child in the history of humankind, Henry disobeys, setting the events on their turn. Kaya Scodelario, fresh off running around with Dylan O'Brien in the Maze Runner franchise, looks to replace Keira Knightley as the First Lady of the series, and may succeed if she's given enough material in the coming installments. Geoffrey Rush, always welcome to mess up Jack's plans as Hector Barbossa, returns to delight once again, even though there's an unnecessary character arc fitted in. This is somewhat surprising, as Barbossa doesn't need extra embellishments to justify his tag of being a fan-favourite. Kevin McNally does his best as Jack's first and best mate Gibbs to infuse some humour into the proceedings, even with the pirates-are-dumb trope getting old. Golshifteh Farahani doesn't get time to make an impact as the voodoo priestess, but I'm sure she'll return to mess with Jack soon. Even with excellent performances in Top of the Lake and in Marvel's Iron Fist, David Wenham is relegated to playing a black-and-white Royal Navy officer. Sure, he's no Norrington, but c'mon.
The action sequences are not entirely original. The bank robbery sequence is reminiscent of the bank vault robbery sequence in Fast Five, though funnier. Captain Salazar's ship is a barebones frightener as opposed to Davy Jones' slimy, rotting Flying Dutchman. To see it approach your ship, day or night, and do its jaw-opening thing, would be more terrifying, on the whole. The climactic action sequence disappoints as a set piece, doing its job and no more.
First Half: 5/10
Second half: 5/10
Direction: 5/10
Screenplay: 4/10
Acting: 5/10
Verdict: Not boring, not listless, but not exciting either. Go for Javier Bardem.