Pirate's life

Rating: 7/10 (24 May 2017)

While most consider the first PotC movie the 'best', the second one grew on me the more I watched it and, to my surprise, became my favourite. The third one remains a mess (Keira Knightley/Elizabeth was the one bright spot) and the only part I enjoy/remember from the fourth is the mermaid attack. I'd personally rank this fifth film in the middle, it's better than the last two, though not as good as the first two. The movie begins with Will and Elizabeth's son, Henry, wishing to free his father of the curse from the third film. Orlando Bloom fans shouldn't get their hopes up, as his screentime is basically cameos at the beginning/ending of the film (including the post-credits scene). He fares better than Keira Knightley, though, who has a silent cameo at the end and post-credits scene (at least we get to see them reunited/have a happy ending).
Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow seems drunker during the beginning of this film than he has previously. If you're over his shtick by now, chances are you won't change your opinion now, but if you're up for one more adventure with Captain Jack, then just go along for the ride. At least his first scene in this film is better than the last two movies (just not as good as first two). By that point we've also met the adult version of Henry (Brenton Thwaites), who's after this film's 'McGuffin' that everybody wants (the Trident of Poseidon) in order to save his father, and astronomer/firm believer in science/skeptic of the supernatural, Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario), who's constantly accused of being a witch and is the only one who can read the map that leads to the trident.
When the two newcomers aren't being tied up or shouting each other's names, they prove decent enough additions to the cast. Carina's intelligent, independent, resourceful, and crucial to the story; while Henry is...Will's son. Well, at least they're better than the missionary man/mermaid coupling of the last movie. While their characters certainly won't replace Will/Elizabeth as the romantic centre of the franchise, the actors try their darnedest to make their coupling work (with mixed results). They each work better playing off of Jack, actually. Kaya manages to make her character heroic without ever swinging a sword and her exasperation at being surrounded by pirates and their ignorance allows for a comedic touch. It's also revealed she has an important connection to Geoffrey Rush's Barbossa. It's a shame they didn't get more time together.
Javier Bardem's Captain Salazar is thankfully at least more interesting a villain than Blackbeard (not hard, considering how underwhelming Blackbeard was). Salazar has undead sharks and a ship-eating ship at his disposal...which are somehow still less ridiculous than Blackbeard's magic-rope-controlling-sword and ship flame-thrower), though the most memorable thing about him is the effects used on him and his cursed crew (they're all floaty and have pieces missing). It's quite something. A flashback scene explaining Salazar's motives (and the origin of how Jack got his various accessories, including his hat), displays equally impressive effects with a de-aged Johnny Depp as young Jack. While interesting/informative, it may have been better placed at the *start* of the movie, as where it's actually placed in the film kind of brings the story to a screeching halt.
Filling the void of the weirdly 'hot' (despite efforts being made through make-up to appear otherwise) witch-type in place of Naomie Harris' Tia Dalma is Golshifteh Farahani as Shansa. Her character is bald, covered in tattoos and, like Salazar, in serious need of a toothbrush...but somehow manages to make the look *work* for her. She proves intriguing, but sadly disappears shortly after her introduction/feels underutilised. Gibbs is back once again, and he actually amused me at one point with how he managed to trick Scrum (a character I wasn't that fussed on in the last film, but since then I've seen the actor who plays him in the TV series Boardwalk Empire as Al Capone and what Gibbs does to Scrum here feels like payback for all of Capone's pranks...which might not be 'fair', but it gave me a laugh).
There are several big action set pieces throughout the movie, though the most visually dazzling one was near the end, set at the bottom of the ocean (which had been parted). The film's humour is hit & miss, some jokes work and some don't (Paul McCartney gets an amusing cameo). There's a couple of emotional beats that have some impact, but don't expect to be tearing up too much. Despite the fact this film, for all intents and purposes, seems like the 'final' one, there is the door left open for possibly more. However, it would be in the franchise's best interest to end things here. It mightn't be at the highest of highs, but neither is it the lowest of lows; so they should quit while they're ahead/make like dead men and tell no (further) tales.