Truly Awful

Rating: 2/10 (8 January 2018)

One of the worst movies I have had the misfortune to see in my young life. The plot is a shambles of half-formed ideas, campy stunts, and leftover jokes from the first film, held up only by what dregs of nostalgia they can still squeeze out of you with the line "do we have an accord?" The plot is boring and contrived, the acting is lackluster, and Johny Depp's performance can only be described as pathetic. The only thing keeping me from giving this one star was the fact that I was able to get through it. And even that was a miracle. What was supposedly meant as an homage to the first film became more of an insult to it. It was the first time in a decade that a Pirates movie was actually worse than I was expecting. Somehow they managed to lower my already terminally low expectation. I can only hope that this was the franchise's last, pitiful breath and it can finally be allowed to die.