This Pirate Ship Sunk Long Ago

Rating: 4/10 (10 June 2017)

"Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" was a surprise. Disney had been trying ride-based movies for a few years and they were all awful. Then suddenly here came one that was fun and featured a character that would for better or worse define the rest of Johnny Depp's career. The movie was a critical and financial hit.
Unfortunately 14 years and 4 sequels later, all the charm and sense of adventure that made the original so much fun is nothing more than a faded memory. Part of the problem is the popularity of Jack Sparrow (Depp). Each movie exposes some untold backstory in order to make him relevant to the plot. Unfortunately, Captain Jack Sparrow is just overblown comic relief. Yet, his past seems to constantly dig up enemies who are after him. Now instead of seeing humor in Sparrow's role in the story, I just wonder why so many trust this loose cannon with such pivotal items.
"Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales" is a decently put together film. The effects are fantastic which is par for the course with this franchise. The problems here lie with the characters and the story. Since Jack is too goofy, other characters have to drive the plot. This time those characters are Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites), son of Orlando Bloom's Will Turner, who is a character about as engaging as paint drying. The other key character is Carina Smyth (played wonderfully by Kaya Scodelario). These two enlist Jack Sparrow as they search for the Trident of Poseidon. The villain this time is Captain Salazer played by Javier Bardem. Remember how he intimated James Bond in Skyfall and terrified everyone he crossed paths with in No Country for Old Men. Well get ready to hear him gurgle unintelligible lines. If the filmmakers went out of there way to make Bardem suck as a villain, they succeeded. Further, Geoffrey Rush's Captain Barbossa is tacked on to the story and at the end they attempt to give him a reason to be there meant presumably to maximize some emotional impact that fails miserably.
Part of the problem with this entire series is that it fails to do any character development and in its place inserts so many plot points such that if the audience wishes to follow the story properly they should keep notes. But, who wants to keep notes on characters who fail to evolve in any way. By way of contrast, The Fast and the Furious characters appear deep, intricate, and thoughtful. In conclusion, this pirate ship sunk long ago.