Stale, but fun.

Rating: 7/10 (7 January 2018)

Unlike most people I've heard voice opinion on this flick, I enjoyed myself watching this. The unfortunate fact of the matter is the Pirates franchise is no longer quality cinema as the first and arguably second films were... Heck, even the third film had moments of cinematic brilliance. The fourth entry was a huge visual drop off and plot-wise was a mediocre filler episode with some mildly entertaining chemistry between Sparrow and his female counterpart.
It had become clear the plot was leaning toward pirate lore rather than a clear arc or saga route. Whereas the initial trilogy was reminiscent of the Star Wars original trilogy in structure and tone, the more recent entries don't even attempt to articulate a grand personal journey like the aforementioned franchise's prequel escapade.
Immediately I think this Pirates movie stands out from the last one. A strange decision made in one of the earlier films immediately comes to a head, and I was hooked. But then we are treated to an evolution of familiar characters that took me off guard. I was wondering since the second film how this universe would survive with the evolution of its setting, and now we are seeing my question play out... it's not so pretty. In a way, as a prelude to the aforementioned franchise's similar story this year, this depiction of that core element is far more satisfying, despite being in far less demand.
I was surprisingly invested in these new characters. The female lead is genuinely charismatic, but the bland male lead only manages to be interesting because of his back story, which is briefly detailed in the intro scene as a fantastic hook. Some of the story progressions of these characters are to roll eyes at, but I think it works. Just barely.
Visually, this film is far superior to the Black Beard adventure last time around. Visuals are always a highlight of these films, but this time it was THE highlight. Not particularly imaginative, but serviceable and immersive.
The pacing is a little wobbly, like the sadly predictable at this point Jack Sparrow, who is pitiful in this film. That's not a spoiler so much as fair warning. If you go to see these movies to see Jack Sparrow, don't bother. He's moderately entertaining, but a point is made of his devolution. I found that entertaining in its own right, but all short of former glory. I don't think Jack would be as entertaining as everyone thinks he'd be if he were still the wild card he once was in every film, so I appreciate his character having a trajectory that at least resembles an arc, even if it's the opposite of one of those.
The tone is par for the course. I didn't regret seeing this movie, but I do wish I could have had my way with this plot line, even as an amateur inexperienced writer. There was some missed opportunity.
Which brings me to the strange surreal ending of this movie. It seems like this movie could have been two, and more epic if it were. But it works fine as one, and that's always been a complaint I think is useless. It seems weird and rushed that this thread is set up and wrapped up in one film.
There were two parts to the ending, one I liked but thought was rushed and not unsatisfying but less satisfying than it should have been, and the other one I thought was totally wrong and slightly infuriating... but understandable as decision all things considered.
Overall, not bad, not good. It was fun. It wasn't boring. But it is a far cry from the bombastic epic film-making classics the initial trilogy films are. It is not exciting or exhilarating anymore, it's a mindless popcorn flick with some personality injected into it. It's average. That's kinda sad, but I'm okay with it. If some people aren't, I understand. I loved this series too, and I wish it could somehow recapture its former glory. But all good things must come to pass. No great film streak lasts forever. You either die a hero, or live long enough to - you get the idea.
It could be so much worse than it is, honestly. I'm seriously okay with solid b-grade movies over the series dying out or becoming a monster of its former self like other franchises we've seen live this long or longer. Look at Star Wars... took a nose dive with The Last Jedi. Look at Fast and Furious. Look at Transformers. Streaks of high grossing easy money cash in crap shoot franchise Hollywood machine cancer with no signs of slowing down. I'm totally fine with coherent, inoffensive, mildly entertaining b-movies.