Appreciated better after several barrels of rum

Rating: 5/10 (14 June 2019)

With such a big budget and some A-list actors you'd expect a movie that delivers ... er... entertainment, even if it's pure popcorn. The latest Pirates movie delivers on precious little. Not even the welcome cameo of beloved characters can save it from capsizing. This is a bad movie. Not good - bad either. Bad - bad. The plot is non-existent and the SFX is just dressing for a lumpen, dull mess. The direction and editing is the worst I've seen in a movie since Young Einstein. Even the actors act like amateurs, their lines mumbled ineptly from one scene to the next.
A 5/10, then because I like the monkey, Jack. And because I like the sea. And because this film will have sunk the Pirate genre for good, may she rest in peace ... Urargh...