I want my money back.

Rating: 2/10 (11 July 2006)

I'd had my doubts about Dead Man's Chest when I first heard it even existed: "Why do they need another Pirates?" I thought. "The first one really didn't need a sequel." But then I read reviews, heard how great it was, read that it got a 3.5 out of 4 stars from critics and that it was actually better than the first. So I thought it might be worth seeing and that maybe, just MAYBE, a director had done a good job on a sequel for the first time in forever.
...Yeah, I should've stuck with my first impression. Not that the movie was BAD, per se: I've definitely seen worse. But I strongly, strongly suggest not spending 9-something dollars to see it in theaters. It was not worth it. (This is most likely my cue to get clubbed to death by hardcore PotC fans).
Okay. You'd think that any movie that's 2.5 hours long would logically have at least a decent plot to keep it moving along for that long, right? Um, WRONG. This was a total crap plot. It moved way too fast: the beginning made no sense, and after the umpteenth time I got lost, I just gave up trying altogether.
They tried way too hard to smoosh ten thousand unrelated things into one movie. Somebody was obviously running out of ideas for this movie, because some things were incredibly random, unexplained, &/or idiotic (...i.e., the whole Elizabeth/Jack thing - totally random. ...I think that might've been what really ruined it for me).
And the ending? Was worse than the ending for Cujo, and that's saying something. Cliffhangers I can deal with. Starting a new (nonexistent) plot at the very end; bringing back a character who was KILLED IN THE PREVIOUS MOVIE?; and then immediately running the end credits to leave you waiting, dazed and confused, for several more years until they can make a third movie... is completely RIDICULOUS.
Redeeming qualities? Well, at least the special effects were excellent. ... ... ... That's about it. Save your money.