Maybe as a diet aid...

Rating: 7/10 (8 July 2006)

I loved Black Pearl! I have it on DVD, and watch at least twice a month. I just love it!
Unfortunately, this movie hardly deserves such credit. Before you scratch your head in confusion over why it got a 7, let me tell you.
+++ Captain Jack. No matter how awful the movie is, it's still Jack. + The first time I have ever seen a three-way free for all sword fight. + Norrington without his wig. Gotta love it. ++ Incredible special effects. Truly top notch. + Key-dog makes a cameo, as does the monkey (who I forgot was still cursed) + Will's turn to get slapped + The scene with Ragetti and the Bible. Loved it. + How many other people/monsters can play piano with their face? + All the lovable pirates on Jack's crew are back (except Annamaria). + Excellent camouflage work on the natives. The whole theater jumped when he popped out. + Shish-Kabob was predictable, but still humorous.
+/- Get to see Orlando Bloom without a shirt.

Got the crews easily confused when many look alike - I didn't understand the premise of the dice game, so all the tension was lost on me. - The wheel is funny and clever, but very, very obviously impossible. - Nobody understands the cannibal language, or the jokes ingrained in it. I heard after about the "eunichy" and "snip-snip", and it still was too confusing and not very funny. - The whole cannibal island was disconnected, pointless and bizarre. - Quotes are humorous, but very few are laugh out loud. Many are repeated from Black Pearl. - A new character (a sorceress/prostitute?) is added. I think it would have worked just as well with Annamaria as that lady. - Too many subplots: and the whole one pardon thing makes little sense. -- In explanation for my title, the scene where Jack is covered with Kraken breath and all its...contents...make me completely sick. - Keira Knightley and the ghost thing was a little stupid. Even when in male clothes, it's very obvious that she's a girl (look at hair, jaw line. Her voice is nowhere near that of a man's ). - Rip off Treasure Island. - Clear by his second step down who the mystery captain was. (name was on cast list, but not yet in movie) - Cliffhanger. End of story.

? How did Ragetti/Pintel get the Key-Dog? ? Does that mean that Bootstrap Bill never really died? He just sat on the bottom of the ocean for ten years until the curse was over? ? Why isn't you know who (if you saw the movie) dead? ? Why doesn't DJ have a nose? He has this little tube thing, but no nose. Octopi don't have either, so he might as well have had a nose. ? What's the deal with the music box?
I think it balances out somewhat. The good news is, if this is a typical Hollywood trilogy, the third won't be so bad. Just look at Rocky. The universal movie pattern is: 1. Unbelievable, incredible. 2. Pretty awful, a slime-sucker. 3. Mediocre, a mix of the two.
Worth a look when it comes out on DVD (ie rental), but don't pay big bucks to see it, or try to center your day around it. My heart goes out to those who paid for a midnight showing.