3 years later and this is the best they could come up with...

Rating: 6/10 (28 May 2007)

Thank God I didn't see this garbagepiece at the theater and waste $25.00 on tickets and snacks. HA! A lot of fools wasted their money on this. 435 million box office receipts! What the hell is wrong with this country. Only a brainless fool would like this mess. I can't understand moviegoers would go see this. From the previews I knew this was going to be bad. I hated the first film, so there was no way in hell was going to see this pile of dung. So after all the chaos died out, I just rented it this weekend while many more fools were flocking to see the third film of this overrated trilogy. Everything I expected, plus more garbage. This makes the first film look pretty decent. If I saw this at the theater I would've been swearing to myself for weeks on why I wasted my money, gas, and time on such crap. Well, after renting it I don't feel the same way. Four dollars down the drain nothing more, nothing less.
The movie itself now is a complete washout. It's awful, pathetic, and just bad, very, very bad. Same plot. Looking for some stupid treasure, fighting the baddies, and once again the baddies are from the depths of the sea. Decomposed bodies that aren't the least bit scary. The whole movie consists of endless, painful comedy and very far out action sequences that aren't the least bit entertaining. I found myself laughing at two jokes and both came from the parrot. The movie's running time of 2hrs and 21 minutes, not counting the 9 minutes of end credits is a complete waste of money and time. About two hours of the movie feature scenes of running and chasing from the natives and ships being brought down by the kraken and none of it tells any part of the story. The movie also features way too much gross moments of make-up and special effects. Especially the scene that features Noami Harris. YUCK! That face with that make-up is ultimately gross. Now Harris also was in the crappy Miami Vice movie, and that film sucked badly. But compared to this it's a pretty damn good film. The whole movie consisted of endless parody from other films. Especially from The Mummy Returns, the Indiana Jones films, Captain Blood and other pirate movies. However, the movie that it was highly influenced by was 20,000 Leauges Under the Sea.
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, now that's a terrific film and a classic. Great special effects, breathtaking underwater photography, and a wonderful cast featured in a action packed pirate movie. Dead Man's Chest was a remake of that film. In fact Davey Jones reminded me of a mutinied Captain Nemo with his ship and men and his organ. But Nemo had a motive and was a genius. Jones is a buffoon and an idiot, along with Jack Sparrow and the rest of the cast is this awful, soon to be forgotten piece of garbage. One of the worst films I've ever seen. You want a great pirate movie. I recommend these classics: Captain Blood and The Sea Hawk. Nobody beats Errol Flynn the king of all swashbucklers. Also take a look at: The Black Swan and of course 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. The classic one with James Mason and Kirk Douglas.