A tremendous waste of time and effort

Rating: 1/10 (16 July 2006)

I'm sorry I thought this was just appalling; an overblown, flabby mess of a script, poorly (and derivatively) directed and badly executed all round. Worst thing about it: well, it seems to me to be 90% padding for the next in the series, rather than a decent outing in its own right.
The screenplay tries to do much in terms of developing all three main characters simultaneously (since two of them have as much talent and acting ability as planks of driftwood, I really fail to see the point). It tries and fails to combine added character depth with the pacey fun and action of the first. All are failures. Moreover Depp, the main draw as Capt'n Jack, has become a mere caricature; a shade of the fine actor he once was.
All in all the film is tedious: the cinematography overblown (and yes I am taking into account that this is a brash, nay garish sort of genre anyway), and surprisingly the cgi is very poor in places, though not the close up shots of Nighy, that is all unquestionably excellent. In fact Nighy and Davenport are the only saving graces for the whole thing but as character parts with limited screen time they can't do much to save the disaster.
In the words of the great William Goldman "Sequels are whore films". There are exceptions (you all know about the Godfather Part II), but without a doubt sequels do sell their souls: made with less integrity, originality and energy,for the singular purpose of extracting more money: milking the cash cow until it's sore udders drop off! So if you want to see Knightly flounce and pout her way across the seas be my guest. Oh by the way her character has given up any pretence at feminism, unless of course it's the only real feminism Hollywood has ever systematically credited female leads with (looking pretty, spouting double entendres and being able to kick ass), Bloom mopes around like a kicked puppy and Depp just looks uncomfortable and sullied. If that's all okay with you, and you don't expect too much, then fine, go see it, go waste your money, because.... it is a shame to tarnish the good work the of the first with such a monstrosity as this.