Overblown, Overlong, and Weak Sequel

Rating: 5/10 (18 February 2007)

Picking up where we left off from the first film, the wedding day of Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) is interrupted when Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander), director of the East India Trading Company, arrives in Port Royal, arresting them for aiding in the escape of Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) from British authorities. Will is offered a pardon in exchange for tracking Sparrow down, and finds him and his crew stranded on an island where Sparrow is worshiped as a god by a tribe of cannibals. At this time, things are complicated by the arrival of Davy Jones (Bill Nighy), Captain of the "Flying Dutchman", who wishes to claim Jack's soul. Will takes his place instead, and meets with his father (Stellan Skarsgard), who has been imprisoned on the ship. Meanwhile, Jack must avoid the Kraken, the famous sea monster controlled by Jones, and contend with the scheming of James Norrington (Jack Davenport), who is trying to salvage his career by tracking down the heart of Davy Jones for Beckett - which will allow him to control the sea.
That plot grab you as ridiculously convoluted? Yeah, me too.
The problem with "Dead Man's Chest" is that it wears out the original's welcome. "Curse of the Black Pearl" worked because it was fresh and unexpected - this film is essentially a rehash, with a great deal of superfluous and digressive nonsense going on. The flaws of the first film - particularly the excessive length - are greatly amplified, and the charm that the first film had is largely missing. It isn't an out-and-out bad film, but it doesn't come close to the original. It seems primarily to serve as a set-up for the third film, more than anything else.
A great deal of what the original got right is screwed up by this film. The humor of "Black Pearl" is almost absent; most of the so-called funny sequences are forced, and just plain not funny. The action scenes range from serviceable (the Kraken attacks) to over-the-top and ridiculous (any scene involving a cannibal cage or spinning water wheel). The special effects are ridiculously over-done, particularly on Davy Jones' crew. Jones himself is an impressive bit of CGI makeup, with his octopus face, as is Bootstrap Bill, but the rest of the crew is just too ridiculous to take seriously. And the long, digressive cannibal scenes in the first hour add absolutely nothing to the film.
The film's biggest failing is in Jack Sparrow. While I loved Depp's performance in the first film, his was a character who, for the casual fan (i.e., one who is not obsessively in love with Johnny Depp), could quite easily wear out his welcome. And such is the case here; Jack is not funny, or even really interesting, for most of the running time. Depp does what he can, and as he is a very talented actor I think the screenplay is to blame for this. There is an interesting bit of character development, as he opts to return and fight with his shipmates rather than save himself towards the end, but that's too little, too late.
Most ridiculous of all, the entire last half-hour is setting up a cliff-hanger to be resolved. Even trilogy movies like "Star Wars" or "Lord of the Rings" have definite climaxes, despite that fact that we know there will be a sequel; this film tries, but fails to do so. Cliff-hangers are acceptable in TV shows, not so much in films. And if I'm reading it right - that Jack Sparrow will be brought back from the dead by some magic spell - then the idiots running the show have really dropped the ball by making me leery about the third film, rather than excited. And what in the hell is with the romance angle between Elizabeth and Jack?
The acting is nothing special either. Depp, as mentioned, does an admirable job with a poorly written part; I hope that for the third film he will get better material. Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley both show again that they lack for both talent or screen presence (some may beg to differ, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it). With Jack shunted to the background for much of the story they take center stage, and the film suffers because of it. They may bring in the teen girls but others will be less than thrilled. Bill Nighy is good as Davy Jones - as good as one can be when your performance is 90% CGI - and Stellan Skarsgard adds a lot of dignity to his role of Bootstrap Bill. Kevin McNally is again able to make something out of an underwritten character, while Lee Arenberg and Mackenzie Crook's doubles-act as two idiot pirates wears thin. Tom Hollander's Beckett periodically pops in, as if visiting from another film, and despite a good performance he has next to nothing to do. Jack Davenport at least gets some interesting character development to work with, but Jonathan Pryce again gives a nice, quiet performance that is nonetheless unremarkable. On the other hand, Naomie Harris as Tia Dalma, the voodoo priestess, manages to make the most of her two-dimensional role, and ends up being one of the film's most memorable characters.
Overall, "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest", despite it's massive box-office success, is at best a very mixed bag. It's watchable but nothing special, though die-hard "Pirates" fanatics won't really care. Others might be a little leery about going into this one. Let's just hope that the third film, "At World's End", gets us back to the fun of the original. Here's hoping...
5/10