This movie has had its heart ripped out, much like Davy Jones

Rating: 1/10 (6 August 2006)

Okay, I made a previous comment praising this movie in the sense of good spirit because I liked the actors and their performances even though I horribly dread it compared to Curse of the Black Pearl. However, now that I have indulged myself in metaphorical rum, I have come to realize that I was way too forgiving of this movie.
Firstly, the flaws in the content were abysmal: The plot was overloaded with action, devoid of all the quaint, understated humor of the original (ex: "why is the rum gone?"). This movie has had its heart ripped out, much like Davy Jones. If you enjoy action heavy movies, by all means go see Dead Man's Chest. However, if you repeatedly watch Curse of the Black Pearl for nostalgia's sake and miss the subtle humor and small production feel, you will cry with agony 10 minutes into this movie. This movie takes itself way too seriously.
Secondly, the only thing that redeems this movie while simultaneously condemning it is that all the glitz distracts you from the picture's lack of soul. To the special effects team, photo-real animation can be distracting when used too much! CG effects in general can be a distraction when used too much. This is a prime example of special effects gone wrong! In fact, the movie is so weighed down by its special effects that the actors don't get a chance to act (hence lack of soul). I don't blame the actors, because they did a brilliant job on The Curse of the Black Pearl so I believe they know their stuff.
Thirdly, I felt the time slip through my fingers. After 2.5 hours of my life that I will never get back, I walked out of the theatre with a gigantic headache. Too many motives/ sub-plots! Arrg. Will vs his father vs Davy Jones, the Commadore vs Will, Will vs Jack, Jack vs Davy Jones vs The East India Company vs Elizabeth! What ever happened to plot line 101? The protagonist-antagonist ratio is on overload. The whole confusing mess comes to an apex when the Commadore, Jack, Will, Elizabeth, and Davy Jone's crew fight ALL at once on the island where Davy Jone's heart is buried. Not only does it give you a headache to watch, but because of all the diverging plot lines, nothing gets resolved. Annoying.
I will conclude with this. I am going to see Pirates 3 because I still enjoyed Captain Jack Sparrow and his smart, witty exchanges with Ms. Elizabeth. I am determined to see what becomes of their relationship. But more importantly I hope Jerry Bruckheimer can fix what he broke... the hearts of Pirates fans everywhere. However, because the crew shot some of Pirates 3 (w/o a script) while still filming Dead Man's Chest, I think things are off to a shaky start. Jumping the gun to save money is economically savvy but not too wise with all these summer half-baked movies. First I was commandeered onto the X3 (shoot me now) band wagon, and now something worse? Still, I hold out hope. Until then I will dive into the metaphorical bottle of rum.
"We're devils, we're black sheep, and really bad eggs. Drink up me hearties, yo ho!"