lower your expectations

Rating: 3/10 (10 July 2006)

If you want to take a lesson in how not to write a story arc but still want to write a script that makes mad cash, watch this movie. If you want to watch a movie that has a constant climax, POTC2:DMC is for you! If you really want to watch a good Disney pirate movie go rent the Swiss Family Robinsons.
Reasons the Swiss Family Robinsons is better than POTC2:
A. The pirates are more believable. B. I am allergic to shellfish, especially when it grows off of my face. C. I care about all of the characters more. D. Keira Knightley actually looks hot (I guess not being in a movie is better than looking like she does in this one.) E. There are no blatant setups for cashing in on sequels (and no sequels for that matter). F. There are no lame invincible magical beasts.
I can hardly speak. . .because my teeth are clenched after experiencing what approximated two and a half hours of diarrhea. The best part was the calming feeling in my stomach that happened after knowing the worst was over. . .until next time.