No Plot, Good Special Effects, Depp Runs Like a Girl

Rating: 5/10 (1 August 2006)

No Plot -- there's plenty of action, but it's a confusing mess; don't expect a plot and you won't be disappointed.
Good Special Effects -- if you go to a movie mainly for the special effects, you'll enjoy this movie.
Depp Runs Like a Girl -- in the original movie, Depp's performance was a believable rendition of a gay pirate, an interesting treatment. In this sequel, he goes overboard (pun). Between the eye makeup and running with arms flailing, Depp is convincing as a nonathletic female, but not as a pirate.
Half-way through this movie we began hoping all the characters would get killed, just so the fiasco would end and we could leave with the lights on. Speaking of the ending, it's just a shameless promo for the next sequel.
Summary: Take your kids to see this movie, if there's no other option. You might be better off if you can get a neighbor to take your kids for you. Also, try to get matinée prices so you don't feel totally ripped off.