My MA Vacation Film

Rating: 5/10 (15 July 2006)

I was vacationing is Cape Cod for the past week, and (God bless me) I was looking for a movie in which I could go to and make stubborn, goofy remarks about (in other words, mocking). Well, some other family members went along with me, and it was the day after Pirates had been released -- Saturday -- that we decided to *see* Pirates; I expected a lot, or at least more than I got -- but more on that later. So much to my avail, we went to see this long-awaited movie ... at a drive-through. I'm *never* one to complain, but ... I'll never go to a drive-through again for various reasons.
Now onto the good stuff, because you don't care about *that*. ^^^^ This movie started out dramatically, just as I knew it would. With actors like Bloom and Depp, how could it not? The first fifteen minutes were actually well done, and set up the story well for those who had mistakenly not seen the first Pirates, as well as Pirates fans. The film begins with Elizabeth and William marrying; happy happy. Of course this movie couldn't start with a happy event (very predictable, if you will) if the film was about Pirates and and some dude named Davy Jones. A problem occurs -- one in which I will not say -- and the two are unable to marry. This all takes place in approximately ten minutes. The scene switches, and eventually it gets to Jack Sparrow, whom I think was over-dramatic in his role. He is introduced in the only really comical part in the film (where the theater is an uproar of laughter), so don't expect anything very funny about Dead Man's Chest.
As the story went on, my rating dropped. I suppose I'm the dumb person and I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, but this storyline was *bad*. I mean, the first Pirates had a surprisingly good story, but the sequel ... ugh, Gore, I think you just messed up. Maybe it was because I saw the film in a noisy drive-in, I don't know.
The creature effects were good, but not realistic. I'm not into the whole computer generated effects in movies, because most of the time it looks incredibly fake. This movie proves my point. If you're a big Pirates fan, this probably won't bother or occur to you, so you needn't agree with me.
I was impressed with the sword action in the first movie, and it was ooook in the sequel. The spinning wheel dueling as shown in some of the trailers was kind of ridiculous. But the part I hated most in the movie was Depp's plunge from a cliff; he smashed through bridges on his free-fall, and landed on hard earth. God, couldn't there be a lake or something below?? What the hell is this? There wasn't even a crater in the earth. Of course, he just groans and gets up -- it reminded me of something from those ridiculous television wrestling matches.
Apart from all this bad stuff that I wrote, and a poor ending, Pirates *did* have some potential. You probably think I wrote too much crap, but the story had its ups and downs. The action was pleasing, and there were some funny parts. I think that if you liked Black Pearl, you should see this movie. If you haven't seen the first, then watch it, and see if you think a sequel is worth your while.
Lukus