"It's me front I'm worried about" - Captain Jack Sparrow

Rating: 6/10 (2 October 2006)

I never really understood why people are so obsessed with the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. I mean, I see why they love Johnny Depp, because he's hilarious and always delivers tour-de-force performances, but when you really look at it, if the series didn't have Johnny Depp it would flat-out suck. Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightely aren't worth seeing that's for sure, and the powerful actors like Brit Billy Nighy, Stellan Skarsgaard and Jonathon Pryce don't have prominent enough roles to carry the film. This installment is a lot like the first one only longer and not quite as good. It is still thoroughly entertaining thanks mostly to Johnny Depp stealing the screen once again and a deliciously evil villain played by Girl in the Cafe's Bill Nighy. Pirates 2 offers some awesome special effects, but it drags an incredible amount and Orlando Bloom doesn't have the acting chops to carry his scenes. I recommend this lightly if you enjoy action flicks, but be sure to bring a pillow because it's 2 hours and 33 minutes long (that's obscene!) Grade: B- (screened at Harkins Scottsdale 101, 7/08/06)
my ratings guide - A+ (absolutley flawless); A (a masterpiece, near-perfect); A- (excellent); B+ (great); B (very good); B- (good); C+ (a mixed bag); C (average); C- (disappointing); D+ (bad); D (very bad); D- (absolutley horrendous); F (not one redeeming quality in this hunk of Hollywood feces).