My diagnosis is blockbuster-sequelitis

Rating: 6/10 (26 November 2006)

I can impossibly outline the plot of Dead Man's Chest so I will just say that the story centres around finding the titular object with all the detours and diversions that this quest entails. Owing to these, the film is a chaotic extravaganza, puffed full of story lines, and camp as a row of tents. It scores higher with me than the original did simply because this adventure knows how ridiculous it is and how much it suffers from blockbuster-sequelitis  and Gore Verbinski makes no pretense about it. The result is fun, big, bigger, epic.
Although I never saw Dead Man's Chest in the theatre, I can easily imagine what the atmosphere must have been like during the premiere week. The responsive contingent of tittering and giggling teenage girls must surely have elevated it about generic adventure movie formula. What's more is that the vivid CGI extravaganza of special effects not only merits a big screen, but demands it for the optimal experience. Dark City/The Crow cinematographer Dariusz Wolski takes a big gulp out of the lush murky jungles and the epic marine battles, creating an unspeakably captivating setting through aerial shots. There are two aspects that follow Wolski's style: polite nods to horror and shots so dark you can hardly make out the action. Nevertheless the cinematography is arguably one of Dead Man's Chest's goldmines.
Conversely, the acting side of the tapestry is wristslashingly poor. This is quite a feat when employing the skills of Geoffrey Rush, Bill Nighy, Stellan Skarsgård and Johnny Depp  so kudos on that. I don't suspect I need to comment on Bloom and Keira, but let me debunk the myth that Johnny Depp gives a good performance as Jack Sparrow. If unforgivably over-the-top and staged is your cup of tea then maybe you will enjoy his style of acting. In fact Depp displays the theatrics a high school drama student would resort to in the annual Christmas play. Perhaps Jack Davenport who reprises his role as Norrington is the light of the film. For one, he no longer looks like a Popsicle, but a scruffy, rugged pirate. Yarr! The backlot backstabbing that goes on in the triumvirate of Depp, Davenport and Bloom proves inexplicably entertaining at times.
But the script is one big sketchbook mess. It is the type of thing that a 12-year-old boy would conjure up whilst scribbling down a few ideas in math class. Dead Man's Chest is bursting with the flair, comedy, fantasy, action, horror and (backseated) romance of an impatient author. Even if you are a token Disney dog you will get your own storyline. This tells me someone in charge just needs to pause for a second and reconsider serious condensation storywise  lose a few characters. Another fatal flaw in the script stage is the laziness that it applies to crafting its characters. It becomes apparent within minutes of the film that it relies solely on Jack Sparrow for comedy  and worst of all, it does not even bother to give him good lines or situations, but expect the audience to find the mere facial expressions of Depp 'hysterical'. If you are a fawning fangirl you probably will.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is a dizzyingly fast paced and complex film (it gets so complex that at one point there is a pause and a comedic sidekick gets to explain the plot to the audience) with numerous layers, except when it comes to its one-dimensional characters. Some of these prove quite smirkworthy with their assigned quirks and undoubtedly little time is left to reflect on the quality of the whole spectacle. Even remotely 'serious' scenes are interrupted by pratfalls or whacked-out action sequences that boldly transcend the boundaries of logic (rolling wheel and rolling ball comes to mind). The good news is that amidst the fast-paced navigation of the marine action world, time is a non-issue. 150 minutes? Feels like 90.
Still, if you want perfect adventure camp I highly recommend The Mummy (1999).
6 out of 10