Based on a theme park ride, and feels like one

Rating: 6/10 (30 July 2006)

I came out of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest with an empty feeling. It leaves on a major cliffhanger, and instead of feeling excited and anxious to see what happens next, like one usually feels with cliffhangers, I felt completely ripped off. I felt like I've seen half a movie. Now, it's not exactly a new trend for guaranteed hit sequels to be filmed simultaneously to create some hackneyed "trilogy," but Dead Man's Chest has got to be the absolute worst example of this method to date. It is all set-up and no payoff whatsoever. We learn so little about the characters that we don't already know. It hints towards an attraction between Elizabeth and Jack, it presents a relationship between Will and his Dad, and in what is probably the only significantly developed character, Norrington, who was once engaged to Elizabeth, has now fallen hard on his luck, become embittered, and resorted to the ways of the pirate. The plot, among many aspects, mainly involves the pursuit of the Dead Man's Chest, hence the title. They find the damn thing but nothing really develops after that. I guess we have to find out what happens in the next one. Great.
What sours me on this movie is that it accomplishes literally nothing. There are no resolutions, just bigger and badder problems that occur. The Matrix Reloaded at least had its own small plot inside its larger plot about Keanu Reeves' character dealing with premonitions of his loved one dying and finally having to face it, and Back to the Future Part II dealt with problems being solved in the future, past, and alternate universes that finally led to one one final time-travel accident that bridged into the concept of the sequel, etc. etc. So what was Dead Man's Chest? Jack is stupid and he has to pay for it?
Dead Man's chest has the action scenes that run way too long and the usual hijinks of the beloved character, Jack Sparrow. What I do really like about this series is that the main characters aren't growing to be best buddies or anything. Usually in the first film the characters conflict and get on each others' nerves but by part 2 they're great friends (a la Star Wars), but it is not so with this trio, mainly because of the unreliability of Jack. They are basically only friends when it is convenient for him. The movie ends with Jack "dying" and Will and Elizabeth, along with Jack's crew, mourning him and setting off to find a way to get him back. But, it really wouldn't surprise me if once they do save him in part 3, he'll find some way or another to screw them over. Particularly Will.
I had no respect for the movie but I'll admit it had its fun moments and I thought the visual effects were amazing. Davy Jones (played green-suit style by Bill Nighy) is a really cool creation. Jones and his crew were apparently all CGI, but this was not one of those cases where you role your eyes and think it's so obviously fake. This time, in this movie, I really bought it.
So, what can I really say to sum up Dead Man's Chest? I think it's shameless. And when you think about it, it is exactly- EXACTLY- like a ride in Disneyland. You wait so long in the line (or in this case waiting for the movie to come out), you finally get into it, and by the time it's all over you feel empty and ripped off and need more of it. So, you have to ride it again (or see what happens in part 3), and you have to wait even longer. Terrible! I would say that on the whole, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is an okay movie that pales in comparison to the first. Johnny Depp was great, the action scenes were sometimes fun, and the visual effects were top-of-the-line and probably the highlight of the movie for me. It deserves a slap in the face for its script and plot, but an Oscar for its effects.
My rating: 6/10