Underwhelming

Rating: 2/10 (4 October 2006)

Arrrggh! A weak performance by Johnny Depp and a poorly cast Villain doomed this caper from the very beginnin'. Depp delivers an inept imitation of his once outstanding act. A textured performance once upon a time, now is a faded, and worse, tiresome caricature for these reasons three:
1. Captain Jack Sparrow can somehow rally his troops, and travel across the ocean five minutes flat, no matter what. Restrictions like time and space are of no interest to Captain Jack Sparrow.
2. Captain Jack Sparrow has no Achilles heel in this installment. No secret weakness beguiles Captain Jack Sparrow.
3. Captain Jack Sparrow is not funny anymore. Neither is the Villain. No humor from the crew either. The movie is not funny at any point.
The inevitable recap you'll get prior to the third installment is all you'll need to keep pace with Captain Jack and his gruesome gaggle (read: boring brigade) of cronies. If I had a third thumb, I'd be givin' it three thumbs down. Way down. Arrrgh!