Fun set pieces in a movie that loves to swim in circles

Rating: 6/10 (12 July 2006)

Pirates II is a fun summer movie. It has its share of laughs, romance and convincing CGI. It's a charming piece, a charming Pirate movie.
Sadly, the lines above are about the only good points about this unnecessary sequel. It seems the rush to bring it to theaters resulted in a 150 min "preview-from-hell" that, although amusing at times, gets repetitive and incomprehensible very early in the game.
It's very clear that there's no real storyline. All we get is another dumb McGuffin device (whoa, a BOX) and a collection of set pieces that barely relate to each other. There's no sense of purpose, no notion of continuity or consequence. Like a David Lynch pic - in a bad way.
Gore Verbinski is a very talented guy. If Pirates is even watchable, that is a testament to his skill as a director. It looks and sounds amazing; Verbinki always picks the best shots. We can see he was trying very hard to turn this mess into a great movie. Kudos for him.
Surprisingly enough, this time Depp was way off in his Keith Richards impersonation. Of course it's funny but soon enough we get bored of Orlando Bloom (aka "the hero") and eventually expect more from Jack Sparrow. We never get it. He seems uncomfortable having to repeat the same old tricks in the sequel. As for the rest of the cast, they do the best they can but there's no escaping a poorly written script.
In the end, Pirates II is just another example of a franchise gone bad, much like The Matrix Reloaded before it. Today we know that the only reason Reloaded made so much money was that it had the momentum of the first one, not that the Wachowski brothers had found some new and improved way of hypnotizing an audience. I bet the third one will not do as well.
So, for those brave enough, go see it and enjoy the special effects in a big screen with good Dolby or DTS sound. It's worth 10 dollars - and you might even have some laughs added as a bonus. However, expect nothing else or disappointment will ensue.