Interesting...

Rating: 1/10 (7 July 2006)

(MAJOR spoilers.)
Pirates of the Caribbean. Dead Man's Chest.
It was full of jokes, some were good, and pirates. Which was about it. It didn't seem to have a real story developed behind it. From what I gathered, Capt Jack Sparrow owes Davey Jones a favour. After a few minutes, the infamous Sparrow finally comes! You'd think he'd be the first character introduced, but it actually started with a rainy, glum day, which looks like Elizabeth Swan and William Turner's wedding. Except it didn't really happen. Anyway, back to Sparrow. He goes down to the bottom of the ship, searching for rum, muttering, "The rum is always gone," and in the corner it's...BOOTSTRAP BILL! He's covered in barnacles and gives the Black Spot whenever he touches someone. It's quite funny to watch an undead Turner covered in barnacles chatting it up with Sparrow. Maybe I have a bad sense of humour. Bootstrap boards the Flying Dutchman is some undisclosed scenes.
FORWARD.
William has to get the compass from Sparrow to save Elizabeth from jail. It turns out they got arrested for trying to free a pirate. So, he finds Sparrow as the newly-instated chief of a tribe that speaks a very entertaining language. He, Sparrow, has really cool makeup on that makes him look like he has eyes on his eyelids and three sets of eyes on his cheeks. Anyway, William gets caught sneaking around the island and is captured. William is trying to get Sparrow to tell the natives to free him, but Sparrow, of course, doesn't bother and actually eggs the natives on. Quite funny, William Turner being tied to a huge stalk of bamboo being roasted. But, with his pirate instincts, Sparrow tells the natives to get a bigger log for a bigger "fi-fi! (fire)", and while doing so, Sparrow (alone) and Turner (?) escape. But after a while and confusing scenes, Sparrow is caught escaping and his tied to wood and is put over a fire. Comically trying to blow out the fire from five feet away, the fire spreads. But he gets down. All is well for him.
FORWARD.
So, it turns out that William finds out his dad is alive! REUNION. There's an awkward relationship between the two, mainly due to Orlando Bloom. It's quite funny: Bootstrap's white make up, progressively during the movie, comes off from around his eyes and you can see his skin. Very distracting. So, William hops aboard the Flying Dutchman, chatting it up with his undead father. Then, William needs to get a key from Davey Jones to open a chest to destroy the heart within. Bootstrap and William play a game of dice, or something, against Davey Jones, and lose. Bootstrap ruined it. So he, William, can't destroy the heart to regain the soul of his father until he gets the key for the chest.
But one night while the organ-talented Davey is snoozing by his beloved organ, William steals the key and ventures out to find the chest. Gets advice from sea-monster sidekick of Jones's in wall. BUT IT TURNS OUT...the compass of Sparrow's isn't broken!!! It really shows you what you desire most, almost like the Mirror of Erised in Harry Potter, but it's a compass. Anyway, Sparrow finds that out and tells a pirate outfit-clad Elizabeth in order to find the missing William, who is aboard the Dutchman, she must find the chest.
So William escapes in order to find the chest and to get back to Elizabeth. He boards the Black Pearl. The Black Pearl, which is in Sparrow's hands, reaches the island of the chest first, then the sea-monster sidekicks on the Dutchman: Jones cannot leave the ship. When Elizabeth, William, COMMODORE NORRINGTON? and Jack Sparrow find the chest, the guys reveal their use for the chest and turn on each other, duelling with swords. Commodore and Turner get caught up 'cause they both love Elizabeth, and Sparrow gets the key for the chest. The four of them run into the vegetation of the island and find the sea-monster sidekicks fighting them. While duelling upon a rooftop, Commodore and Turner are stuck on a wheel or some sort, but huge. They fight on there for a while and on there, Sparrow gets a hold of the key and gets the beating heart of out the chest.
It's Pearl against Dutchman crew fighting now. Sea-monster sidekick of Jones sees Sparrow with heart and Sparrow frantically puts it in a jar. Everyone gets out of the fight unscathed except Commodore, who is left on the island. The giant squid-thing, which I think is supposed to be Davey Jones's locker, attacks the Pearl. The Pearl's crew abandons ship, but Elizabeth handcuffs Sparrow to the ship and is left to the squid-thing. Sparrow gets himself free and sticks a sword right in the mouth of the squid-thing and it dies. But as he swords it, he is swallowed along with it. The heart he has taken care of went missing during the attack of the squid-thing while the crew is aboard the Pearl.
Elizabeth makes up a lie about Sparrow going down with his ship. Scene changes to voodoo-like shack that was shown in the movie earlier, but no pivotal things happened in there, so I left it out. The crew of the Pearl, except Sparrow, is in the voodoo-shack talking to a voodoo-like woman with a thick accent. She tells them they should keep going and says they need someone to captain the ship who knows the waters.
This is where you get confused...almost mad! You see pirate boots, CONVINCED it's Captain Jack Sparrow. But the camera shows up to the face of the one, the only, CAPTAIN BARBOSSA.
FIN.
It screams sequel. Almost too loudly.