CGI smothers plot

Rating: Null/10 (9 July 2006)

1) I got the very strong impression that Disney was more intent on promoting new additions to the "Pirates of the Caribbean" theme park ride, rather than articulate an adventure to us. How many more scenes of huge structures containing people, rolling through the jungle, can one endure in a single movie? I say again, "huge structures CONTAINING PEOPLE, rolling through the jungle"(get ready to ROLL, Disney theme park fans!) The one involving the water wheel was a bit too long, especially following the rolling CAGE in which the pirates had been held captive. One gag depicting a large object, rolling through the jungle, filled with disoriented characters (still not getting it?) per movie is quite enough, please. 2) This is a classic example of CGI effects overwhelming story. There were way too many distracting, living sea creatures, popping out of the bodies of characters who surrounded a speaking actor, for me to keep up with the unfolding story. Many times, an actor would deliver his/her lines in desperation as antennae, eels, tentacles, etc., waved about his or her face, in the background, as well as the foreground. This was fascinating, but distracting. On further reflection, I had the identical feeling of confusion experienced after viewing "The Chronicles of Riddick" (I was tempted to go see the Riddick turkey again, in the hopes of clearing up the confusion). Sorry, some may find this comparison insulting, but the problem of CGI domination held sway in both of these movies. The single responsive word in my mind as I left both flicks was, "Wha...?". 3) As for the voodoo woman in the swamp...what the he** was she saying? Her accent was too thick; authentic, possibly, but too thick, and delivered in a tone which was too soft. What might be more important here? Authentic accent, or successful communication? I simply caught little of what she said, except the part about the jar of dirt, a very weak gag that was just a flash in the pan. 4) Ditto for the squiddy Davey Jones character...just what the he** was HE saying? Under all those fleshy, invertebrate protuberances, his lines were almost impossible to discern. 5) Just as Johnny Depp's character rose out of his throne to address the issue of a larger fire, watch as he seems to suddenly remember to employ the Keith Richards characterization of his body movements. Watch in particular his hastily extended right arm, just as he rises from the throne. It was as if, "Oops! I almost forgot to move about like Keith Richards! This production is killing me, and another is yet to be wrapped!" He seemed to jerk himself into character. I think that during shooting, Johnny had been enjoying his rest upon that movie prop, and suddenly, the director shouted, "Roll 'em!", or, "we're not paying you all that money to sleep on the job, Depp!", totally taking him by surprise(don't get me wrong...I'm a Depper, myself...) I made a point to carefully observe the audience, once this overly-long movie had ended. By the looks on their faces, they were as confused as I was, and in quite a lot of pain as they rose stiffly from the chair they had been seated in for well over two hours. Also, the reintroduction of Captain Barbossa at the very end seemed to be a slap in the face (What's this? You add yet ANOTHER twist to this already convoluted plot?) POTC seemed to be in competition with the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy at this point, an effort to one up THAT most excellent trilogy. It should have been acknowledged, however, that the LOTR trilogy has been thoroughly time-tested. "Pirates of the Caribbean" now seems to be running a marathon (weighed down by carelessly applied CGI, as well as a patchwork plot), in direct competition with LOTR, a strange "keeping up with the Joneses" phenomena in movie-making("We gotta have OUR trilogy too, Frodo!") This time, my ticket had been free. I will likely return, though, paying for a ticket this time around, hopefully in order to clear up some of the confusion. I will try to listen far more intently to "voodoo-woman" and "squid-man", endeavouring to filter out more of the waving sea-fauna/flora which fought for my attention. Maybe this is just another case of "organized confusion" to persuade me to purchase a ticket. You got me, Disney. I'm there.