Shamefull waste of talent and resources. Some bright bits, many tedious and ugly bits. It all adds up to nothing.

Rating: 3/10 (7 July 2006)

What an ugly and un-inspired movie! Although watching this movie was a definite throwback to some of the old time Disney fare, and reminded me a bit of my childhood in movie theatres on a Saturday afternoon. Pirates was not quite as good as the dated but charming Swiss Family Robinson (1959, was it?), but it was about as bad as the dreadful Fitzwilly (1967).
Visiting Disneyland, you see rubber rocks in the faked-up 'wilderness' area. How hard would real rocks be to get? Disney movies are equally prone to the fake, when audiences would probably accept the real, even if the real stuff was flawed. This shows a tremendous disrespect for the audience on Disney Studio's part. As an example of the weird moral 'logic' Disney CAN at times stoop to, consider Pretty Woman--- about a hooker who meets Mr. Right and strikes it rich. The moral lesson of that Disney flick, evidently, was that only money matters, and having some cash to flash, and a trendy wardrobe, automatically makes you a person worthy of social position and respect.
Pirates has some moments that are interesting. But as you've probably heard, it's all flash, and no substance. There is no love, no romance, no likable characters we are rooting for. Nothing in the movie really matters. And some of the bits are so gruesome, gross, and ugly that I feel tainted merely by having seen them on the screen.
This movie is like being shown some old lady's button collection. Some of the bits are pretty, some interesting. Some ugly, many are dull and plain. But they don't add up to anything at all. When you're done looking at the buttons, you have nothing. Not even a rag doll or a simple garment. Just the experience of having handled somebody else's second-hand buttons.
Pirates of Caribbean, Deadman's Chest, is vapid at best, and immoral and a shameful waste of talent and resources at worst. Having just come from this dreck, I suspect the worst. I am embarrassed for the excellent and worthy cast. Disney should be ashamed. I need to go home and take a shower now.