Bloated action/SFX display doesn't hold a candle to the original!!

Rating: 5/10 (7 July 2006)

OK, it looks like I'm the only person on this fanboy board who didn't absolutely love Deadman's Chest...
God I wanted to LOVE this movie. Sure the trailers that focused on a goofy cannibal tribal scene and an octopus pirate (Davy Jones) didn't excite me much, but with Pirates 1 being nearly the best mainstream film of the 2000's (better than ALL of the Star Wars prequels, on par with LOTR), I figured Pirates 2 would surprise me...
Unfortunately I was only surprised because most of this movie is a series of unimportant scenes created solely to showcase some very ridiculous but fun action scenes. Most of these scenes are overly long and contribute nothing to the story. Remember Peter Jackson's bloated (but beautiful) King Kong? This one has multiple bloated action sequences similar to the never-ending Kong battle with one then two then three tyrannosaurs in a field, with tyrannosaurs swinging on vines in a chasm, with gory bugs in that chasm, with velociraptors etc.
A lot of the dialog in Deadman's Chest seems a bit hard to understand though it may have just been the theater I watched it in. Pirate speech can be a bit muddled (like this film's plot). Speaking of plot, the many on-off-on the ship transitions make very little sense. We go to locales like the town in Part 1, Tortuga, an island of cannibals, some bayou, sand reef island, other islands, and then return to these places again occasionally. The plot is much less clear than in part one with the cursed treasure. One interesting plot device is even more use of pirate deceit than in Part 1 which leaves us wondering who will redeem themselves by the end of the film or in part 3.
Luckily Jack is still one of the most bad ass characters ever created, but his schtick has worn thin by this movie. He doesn't reveal much more depth and is far less surprising and ridiculous than before. Maybe part 3 will amaze us again...
The antagonists in Pirates 2 are nowhere near as cool as the ghastly skeletal pirates in part 1. It seems the new enemies are basically just a chance for ILM & company to show off some creepy animalistic special effects. Think ridiculous stuff like the Island of Dr. Moreau ! I'm fairly certain there's no good reason why these soulless pirates are part hermit crab, hammerhead shark, or octopus other than some computer geek thought it would be cool. I'm sure Disney mandated the huge variety of enemies so they can release more toys and have more spooky scares in an upcoming revamp to the Disneyland ride!!
BY FAR the best thing in this movie, is the last 5 seconds of the film before credits. I won't give it away, but it was perhaps the only EXTREMELY redeeming part of the movie. Let's just say it brings back an old acquaintance who happens to be portrayed by one of the greatest modern film actors. The idea of this guy, Jack, and Chow Yun-Fat together as friends or foes in part 3 is enough to keep me excited for 2007 as I forget about the bloated mess that is Deadman's Chest.
Fans of action crap like Nicolas Cage's late 90s action flicks (sans The Rock) will enjoy Dead Man's Chest. Hard core special effects junkies should also love it. Anyone who's seen a lot of creative or classic adventure films will realize much of the action scenes were pulled from past films and merely extended thanks to the sometimes-curse of CGI.
In a nutshell, I'd say Deadman's Chest is like the Matrix Reloaded or the Phantom Menace: Pointlessly bloated unimportant action stories that could have been a 30 minute prelude to the next film (Matrix Revolutions & Attack of the Clones respectively).
Don't take my word for it. Go see for yourself. The hacks at Disney needs to sell lots of tickets to pay for its acquisition of Pixar's talent.