Dull, childish and drawn-out, a sequel that has nothing on the first film

Rating: 4/10 (28 July 2006)

I loved the first 'Pirates of the Caribbean', glad to see Disney producing a refreshingly exciting and enthralling film that kept folk of all ages amused. Like many fans, I lived in wait for the much anticipated sequel 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest'. But when it finally arrived on our screens three years later, I was left quite disappointed with the result.
Set some months after the events of the first film, 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest' sees Will Turner's imminent plans to marry his sweetheart, aristocrat Elizabeth Swann, lie in ruins when vindictive English Lord Beckett, a man with an agenda of his own, arrests them for treason. He offers full pardons for the pair on the condition that Will retrieves Jack Sparrow's compass. From this point on, we follow the characters on a turbulent ride as Will eventually tracks down Sparrow only to be betrayed as the pirate uses the young man to settle a debt to Davey Jones, a sinister demonic captain of the infamous Flying Dutchman. Meanwhile, Elizabeth refuses to sit around waiting to be saved and escapes prison to search the high seas for her fiancé.
There is no denying that Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightley all play their respective roles of Sparrow, Will and Elizabeth with fervour while Bill Nighy is particularly top-notch as the malevolent and insidious Davy Jones. Equally, their co-stars give excellent performances, on occasion, even out-shining the stars as is the case of Mackenzie Crook and Lee Arenberg, who play two of Sparrow's most intellectually-challenged crew members! The CGI in the film is also to a degree that shows no expense was spared nor were amateurs involved. Davey Jones' crew and ship were so visually stunning that the audience could be forgiven for thinking they were real such were the minute details that were heeded. The Kraken's destructive nature was also portrayed with chilling realism.
No, the problem with this film lies not with the cast or visual effects but rather a lacklustre plot that is veers from being repetitive and dull to predictable to downright childish, at times. The scenes where Sparrow is trying to escape the cannibals features humour more suited to a five-year-old's slapstick cartoon and runs on for ages. The end scene where Will, Sparrow and Norrington fight in the wheel also seems to have no end, leaving anyone over twelve glancing at their watch wishing the scriptwriter would learn some restraint. The Will/Elizabeth/Sparrow triangle is something out of a cheap, trashy romance novel while the character depiction is a bit 'off'. Neither Elizabeth nor Sparrow are quite so likable this time around as we see them both doing some pretty deplorable things. Although Sparrow was no angel in the first film, he was a rogue with a heart of gold compared to this smug traitor who left me feeling he was due for some pay-back.
Instead of an interesting plot utilising fascinating and eccentric characters to their fullest, 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest' relies solely on CGI and forced, infantile humour. What little sense of adventure and adversary in the film is drawn-out to the point where it just becomes tedious. It's almost as if Disney were hoping to completely coast on the success of the previous film so felt no effort was needed to be put into this film, deliberately ending it in such a way that the audience feels obliged to see the third film (which is to be released in 2007) if they want any resolution to the storyline.
However, personally, I don't feel at all inclined to see the third film. In fact, at the moment, my disappointment with 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest' is such that I think I'm going to go the 'Matrix' route and just pretend the first film is the only film that exists.