Bad, Bad.. Real Bad Beyond Your Imagination !!

Rating: 1/10 (1 July 2007)

Very few times in my life I've got that migraine, provocation, and the desire to sleep right in the theater. Maybe (Universal Soldier: The Return - 1999) for example, (Miami Vice - 2006) for another. But, this time, I was in such a great anger too!
Forget all of the insane people who think that this nonsense is a movie. Forget the fact of (Johnny Depp) being a great comedian. Forget that the first movie was nice and maybe the first also in mixing pirates movies - which we really missed for a very long time - with the fantasy factor, (Jerry Bruckheimer)'s money, and perfect CGI. Forget all of that. Because HERE, you'll find nothing but terrible tragic headache!
OH GOD. It's distastefully satiate, so boring, and despite the huge look; very poor. In fact, there is no nothing. No great action, or good thrilling moments. There isn't even a good dialogue or one, just one-liner. At one point, (Depp) managed to escape from some savages, then while getting finally on his ship, he was about to crack a punch line for his failing chasers, but he didn't. Simply no one wrote a thing for that!
Explicitly there isn't anything funny, except the case of this plot which I dare anyone to understand it, or even stand it after any understanding. Scrutinize well: The good guys are searching for the dead evil man's heart to finish it, namely kill the man who already lives with no heart (!) but according to these very movies' logic, dead people used to be so alive anyway (just recall the last shot in here), so what could deter this evil man from coming back to life after this so-called killing?? He's living as a ghost already! I told you earlier, noting is funnier than this plot (funnier as odder!).
Most probably there wasn't any plot in the first place. They just designed couple of action sequences, one in the middle and one at the end, then put around them too many storylines and unnecessary scenes to end up as a long awful time. Briefly, it's too much ado about nothing. And when the first was good, so with a sequel as bad as this; you must feel disappointed and deceived as well!
..And there were 200 million in the production of THIS TRASH???!!! By simple equation, this equals, in my country's money, over 100 movies where every one of them is cost 8 millions pounds. This is extra, and ENORMOUS, reason to be mad, especially when you watch this drivel of a movie!
I believe the explanation is that the big blown up success of the first one abetted (Bruckheimer) to milk more and more money from it. However, with hasty - talented in only blabbering - writing, no kind of excitement, no sense of humor from EVERYBODY, with big sophisticated CGI, costumes and sets--the outcome was that uninteresting heavy thing which we wanted to leave the theater while watching it since the intermission!
About all the writers of all the previous comments which were entitled (The Best Action Movie, The Greatest Film Ever, BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!); it's bogus, it's fake, don't you ever buy it. Most likely they were watching the first one!
THE MAIN LESSON HERE IS: Don't believe the huge propaganda, and judge by yourself. But in this very case, bear the headache!