Lame, boring, derivative, how did it make so much money?

Rating: 2/10 (22 September 2006)

So how is this film the number 6 all-time USA box office champ? I have a clue. Its silliness caters to the short attention span public. Anyone who bothered to see Disney's 20,000 Leauges Under the Sea in the early 1960's or on video or late night TV will realize that this is an amalgam of that movie along with a bunch of other Disney and other action adventure movies. The action sequences are nothing new, the comedy is of the two peanuts were walking down the street and one of them was assaulted variety, and really, if you're going to have a big giant squid sea monster like the Kraken, spend enough on special effects to give us a nice shot of it, instead of more millions to Johnny Depp and Kiera Knightly's bank accounts. Saw that squid before in 20,000 Leauges Under the sea, anyways. Paper-thin plot, empty characterizations, Captain Jack Sparrow is an Attack of the C- Han Solo Clone. It is a sad, sad state of affairs. Pathetic. But for moneymaking ability, this movie has the pathogenic characteristics of an Ebola virus.