Alternate title: Dead Man's Entertainment

Rating: 1/10 (26 July 2006)

There are no spoilers in this, but then how can you spoil sewage? I should have known better. It's happened so many times. Sequel after sequel after sequel. And yet, I let myself believe that if Johnny Depp could carry the first movie so well, he could carry this one well too. Unfortunately, this turkey had so much dead weight that the entire cast drowned under it's excessive bulk.
Dreary, dull, complicated, confusing, muddled, predictable, ponderous, interminable, formulaic, suffocating, irrelevant, self-indulgent,... where's my dictionary? This one almost takes the honors of the worst sequel of all time, right up there with The Whole Ten Yards.
And the worst thing is, they didn't even let Johnny be himself; so the movie had nothing to offer. Except for a chance to practice some virtues, like patience, forbearance, long-suffering, etc.
However, what does all that matter? It made a fortune!!! All of those returning fans of the original probably managed to convince themselves it was just as good as the first. So the third one, no matter how bad it is, will also make a fortune!!! And isn't that what modern cinema is all about?