Why can't dead pirates stay dead?

Rating: 3/10 (7 July 2006)

After all is said and done in POTC DMC, a lot is said and almost nothing of any import is done.
If you like seeing Jack Sparrow stagger, this is the film for you. If you like seeing grown men trying very hard not to inflict any damage on one another in a three-way sword fight, this is the film for you. If you like seeing Keira Knightly naked, this . . . er . . . try Google.
There's enough in this film to insult almost anyone's intelligence. How about the notion that primitives can actually believe that a dog could be their king? Or that a highly intelligent individual would turn over an incredibly valuable artifact - one that provides almost unlimited power to the bearer - to a person of questionable ethics in order to gain a reward that has a tiny fraction of the value of what was available had the artifact been retained? Or that a stolen document when filled in by the thief could have any influence whatsoever on the party from whom the document was stolen? These inanities and numerous others are pretty much the only things even remotely resembling buried treasure to be found in the frames of Pirates 2. If you're looking for something sensible, like progression of the story, try sleeping during the film's more-than-two-hour length - perhaps you'll dream of something that's actually interesting.
So how come I give even 3 stars to this turkey? The Kracken made me do it.