Horrible characters and a preposterous plot

Rating: 4/10 (23 July 2006)

I liked the original Pirates of the Caribbean, I liked it, but I did not love it. For one, the whole going back and forth from Isle del Muerta to Port Royale and to the ships to the Isle del Muerta just became numbing after awhile. They could have tightened that script a lot and cut the amount of running around. That was basically my only complaint in a film that I bought solely for Jack Sparrow. I figured that since that complaint was not mine alone, many other critics found the film redundant, that the screenwriters would pay heed, but instead have thrown narrative completely to the wind and have made a film that is completely running back and forth from location to location with one ridiculously pointless excursion to a Cannibal island which was actually well done but didn't fit the rest of the film. And since everyone is just running around all the time, you can't really pay attention to the crappier acting by Johnny Depp, playing it more straight this time and the otherworldly visual effects that are probably some of the best I've ever seen wasted on a horrible film. The film feels completely all over the place and has memorable scenes but never stops to take it's breath and feel it's way around for an emotional moment or two. I know the end is supposed to be bitter and sad but I didn't feel anything since they basically said that Sparrow wasn't dead. So the movie was pointless, made to make money and to continue a franchise that may be funny but lacks the spirit of older better Pirate adventure films. So the short is, this is not a film, it is a visual effects demo reel.