Pirates of the Convoluted: Long friggin film

Rating: 4/10 (8 July 2006)

I wanted to like this movie. I really did. But by an hour and a half into the film with no real understanding of what was going on I started to doze off. When I awoke there was still another hour or so to sit through.
The actors of course all did a good job. The dialogue and humor was there in the beginning though by the end it wained considerably. The real problem was the plot. This new "curse" that befalls Jack Sparrow gets more complex every five minutes, and nothing is really explained. Near the end the scenes usually go something like this:
"Good lord man where's Davy Jone's key?" - Jack Sparrow "It goes to the box! But where is the box?" - Will "What box? I have his heart!" - Some guy "who are you?" - Jack Sparrow "I'm some guy from the first movie, and I want his heart!" - Some guy "Hey there's a cracken here with tentacles!" - Will "Now I have his heart!" - Some other pirate guy "What about the cracken? And the curse?" - Will "What curse?" - Other pirate guy "The curse of the box!" - Jack "No the curse is on the key!" - Will "No, whoever has the heart has the power!" - Will's dad "What power?" - Keira knightley "Dont mind that, lets fight!" - Jack
OK well its not exactly like that but thats how it feels after sitting through all three mind numbing hours of the film. The big twist ending...is well, lame. They bring back someone - a certain bad guy - to help poor JS out of his jam in some thrown together lame cliff hanger.
I'm not saying everything about the film is bad, but it definitely needed a rewrite before it was released. More doesn't always mean better. Aaaarggghh, what a shame.