Lots of action ... Zero plot ... Insipid dialog

Rating: 1/10 (9 July 2006)

How can the actors in this film not be hanging their heads in shame at the moronic dialog they had to deliver? And where's the PLOT? Dangit, doesn't ANYONE in Hollywood know a THING about creating a STORY?!?! Granted, Johnny Depp delighted everyone with his interpretation of the Captain Jack character in the first episode. Unfortunately, there is nothing in this "story" that develops his character further. Because the dialog given for the other characters (Will & Elizabeth) is so incredibly LAME, they haven't much to work with and fall flat. Bloom's personal charisma ameliorates the lack of substance left to him by the screenwriter(s). Unfortunately, Knightley's inexperience leaves her with nothing to fall back on with this pathetic script and she comes off as a total fool, playing the role as if she were a spoiled Valley Girl. (Puke!)
I want my money back!