If X marks the spot, these guys really missed the mark!

Rating: 3/10 (17 July 2006)

I remember when the first "Pirates" movie ended, and I thought, "What an amazing surprise this film was." Great characters, performances, plot twists, and humor... it was one of the best studio "popcorn" movies in recent memory, transcending that very label. It also didn't have a made-for-sequel ending, but it was one of those rare feature films that make you thirsty to see another adventure. The second installment, "Dead Man's Chest," however, is not even a full movie. Its running time is too much, and its content is too little. It's a bloated, campy set-up for next year's finale. This is to say that there was no need for this portion of the story at all, and as an audience member, I'm offended. The filmmakers had such potential to make a great trilogy, or even a longer ongoing series of great adventures... but this latest film misses the target, sinks in the water, and disappoints on nearly all levels except for production value. Of course the film is slick... they have a ton of money and the absolute finest people in Hollywood working on this film. But that's why it is so disappointing to see such a chaotic piece of garbage. I found this film confusing, and any parts that were vaguely understandable were understandable only because they were identical to the story of the first film. For example, it's about a haunted, grisly crew in search of the treasure that will set them free. Sound familiar? It could've been called "Curse of the Flying Dutchman," referring to the new haunted ship's name. Why were they disgusting squid-like sea creatures? How did Sparrow get to be worshiped by those tribes people, and what did that entire sequence have to do with any of the film anyway? Additionally, Sparrow's character was not nearly as much fun to watch. He seemed more of a bumbling (and more effeminate) fool this time around, rather than an enigmatic charlatan who's always got something up his sleeve, whether he realizes it or not, like in the first "Pirates" movie. The humor seemed more juvenile and silly in this film, as well, and didn't have the kind of fun-for-all-ages spirit of the first movie. A few great sequences, such as the duel on the uncontrollable water wheel, stand out as redeeming moments. Overall, the "half-film" disappoints and has this movie-goer reluctantly considering to boycott the next film. Take a hint from "Back to the Future," which had three distinct, wonderfully interconnected yet self- resolving episodes, leaving an absolutely fantastic trilogy. That potential no longer stands for "Pirates of the Caribbean."