Disappointing

Rating: 7/10 (2 August 2006)

I'll probably be lynched for this, but I think it is my duty to report what a great disappointment "Pirates of the Caribbean-Dead Man's Chest" is. First of all, the makers have focused way too much on the genre 'comedy'. Jack Sparrow barely said something serious, keeps on running into things and falling into holes. Don't understand me wrong, Johnny Depp is a great actor, he's just been told too much to play the 'strange guy'. I've had some good laughs with the first movie, but I barely smiled at the jokes they made in DMC and there are a lot. I mean, how can anyone take this character Davy Jones seriously? They speak about him so light-hearted and only when the Kraken is mentioned people start to express some fear. He's just not threatening enough, except for the scene when you see him playing organ, with his back facing the audience. But then you see he's actually playing with this tentacles, so the whole moment is ruined. He might as well have started to dance around. The Kraken is very threatening, but we see it three times, so when it finally attacks the Black Pearl, I wasn't 'afraid' anymore. It attacks the Pearl three times, so I was getting sick of the thing already. Back to the jokes. There are some good ones, especially on the island where Jack faces the grill :-). But they use too much jokes from the first movie. The phrase 'You will always remember this day as the day you almost caught captain Jack Sparrow' belongs to the first movie! So does the dog with the keys! The makers seem to try very hard to link this movie to the first one, with all the references but it just doesn't work. Too much has changed. The great house of the governor has been replaced by Beccket's shack, Isla de la Muerte and its cave with tropical beaches and jungles. Too less pirates, too many Caribbean. And the action scenes are good, but the sword fight between Jack, Will and Norrington is totally ridiculed and the one-liners are awful ('With your permission'? What the...'). And except for the wheel there is barely an environment for a great fight. What's so interesting about fighting on a beach? And there are way too much Orlando Bloom fighting scenes and too less Johnny Depp fighting scenes. It feels like Will's the captain of every ship he gets on and Jack's a stupid coward. In the first movie you had the final fight with Barbossa, but NO ONE HAS FOUGHT DAVY JONES IN THIS MOVIE!!! Or you can look at the poker game as a 'fight'. Maybe there's a big fight with Davy Jones and Jack/Barbossa/Will/Sao Feng/Norrington/Beckket in the third movie and there better be one. But couldn't Will and Jones have a fight over the key? No he just steals it. Wow, Will, you're some pirate.
Now some random things that annoyed me:
-Pintel and Ragetti: Why? Why do they have to escape and make me want to vomit because of their lousy jokes. And why does Ragetti have to explain the triangle-fight again? We got it, alright? The audience is not stupid, you know. -The Dead Man's Chest: It is buried in sand for Christ's sake! I expected it to be in some cave with some traps and stuff. I know this isn't Indiana Jones, but it belongs to the 'adventure'-genre! -The story: The story is pretty lame and it is not told in a good way. The only thing we get are some facts. -Davy Jones' crew: They look scarier than Barbossa's crew, but they are far more stupid. When Jack knocks one's head off with a coconut, we see him running around like a fool, so who in God's name can be 'afraid' of him??? They are icky when you firs see them, but they're just idiots. -Davy Jones' voice: Not threatening enough. -'Bootstrap' Bill: What a lame character. Was he a pirates once? He looks like a sissy to me. He's so life-sick and depressed and doesn't have any of the vitality the other crew members have. He's just a sack of potatoes, waiting till his years of service are over. He helps his son, but not with some epic stuff. Will, you don't have to save him! The characters: The character Jack Sparrow is totally ridiculed, except for his final moment of bravery and death. Will Turner's saves the day and Elisabeth is just some woman who doesn't know what she wants. Norrington is the same ambitious man as in the first movie and Beccket is barely a replacement for him. Davy Jones is not scary and the governor is a retard. But Tia Delma's a very good new character, Barbossa saves the end of the movie and Briggs is the best!
But I also liked things in this movie: The first island-scene, Depp's and Knightly's acting (Orlando, you don't have to shout your lines, you can just say them!), the terrific music, the bar-fight and some jokes.
This is the greatest disappointment of this year so far. It is of course a movie for the masses and the makers seem to have focused way too much on big benefit and not on the masterpiece The Curse Of The Black Pearl was.
All my hopes are on the third one...