waterlogged swashbuckler

Rating: 4/10 (6 January 2007)

Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley return as swashbuckling adventurers in "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest," the loud but soulless first sequel to the surprise mega-hit from summer 2003. This time the three set out on the high seas in search of the key to Davy Jones' legendary treasure.
Replete with creatures straight out of Greek mythology, the plot consists of little more than one absurdly over-the-top set piece after another with little heed paid to either continuity or coherence - and none at all to characterization. Even Depp's mincing, oddly flamboyant Captain Sparrow, which was the one element of quality in the original outing, has faded into the background, doomed to insignificance amidst all the overwrought special effects (Bloom and Knightley are their usual bland selves). For here, indeed, is a movie without so much as a single trace of literacy, grace or style to go along with its box office booty, an assembly-line manufacture if ever there was one.
Hectic rather than rousing, this is crass commercial movie-making of the most cynical and hollow sort. One can almost hear the producers and studio execs saying to one another, "Just keep hurling enough 'stuff' at the audience and they'll never notice that none of it makes any sense." Let me be the one to assure them then; we do notice.