Dead Man's Plot

Rating: 4/10 (10 December 2006)

I enjoyed the first Pirates of the Caribbean film very much for Depp's engaging and brilliantly entertaining portrayal of a mischievous pirate captain and his gritty crew. The rest of the cast was great (Rush, Knightley and Bloom) and overall that was the best pirate film since the classics of the 1940's and 50's.
Unfortunately the sequel Dead Man's Chest really sucks. This is a comic book without the heroes. If you like comic book movies, Spiderman and X-Men were way better and much more intellectual.
Sure the effects were ambitious and at times impressive, and the island scenes pretty, but the natives were goofy rather than intimidating and the whole aftertaste was all like a nightmare rather than a dreamy fun adventure.
The plot is convoluted. The script dumb. The storyline unbelievable and the special effects over the top and aimed at the Saturday morning cartoon demographic. Even with the same previously excellent cast, the acting is sub-par. Depp's performance is lackluster. He stretches his old character awkwardly without introducing anything new and his humor is less funny the second time around. I don't think it's his fault, it's just that the producers wanted sequel cash and spent their energy on effects and not on a script or a story. While the first film had some authenticity to it even with its fantasy visuals, this film seems to be aimed only at 12 year olds who want to see lots of slime and monsters. Who cares about an intellectual dialog? I was extremely disappointed and am no longer looking forward to the next sequel which is so unabashedly teased at the anticlimactic end.
I'm sorry but this film drops the baton. When is someone going to make a real pirate film with historically authentic villains and Das-Boot realism? Today's technology should be used to help a film not hurt it. I want to see authentic villains like Rackham the Red or the fierce Blackbeard who would drink grog and gunpowder, and light matchsticks in his beard to scare the enemy. That's way cooler than an octopus head or hermit crab face. Imagine what could have been done with a realistic evil captain who steals the gold and the lovely love interest...anyway I digress.
This film is like a video game without the joystick.I wish Davy Jones' locker had never been disturbed.