Better than the last one by far, but still flawed

Rating: 7/10 (28 November 2007)

I pull no punches here. I disliked the last one so thoroughly that I couldn't help but like the introduction scenes to this one. Much more grounded, better paced, with more subtlety and originality. Where Dead Man's Chest opened with characters narrating the plot to each other, this one opened with the plot in motion where we were able to follow along without major irritation or insults to our intelligence.
Unfortunately, this film suffers from many of the plagues of the last one. Namely: Unnecessary complications due to pointless treachery. Let's think about this for a moment. The last film had Commodore Norrington relieved of command. In the opening of this film, he is Admiral Norrington. We sat through over two hours of Norrington's scheming only to find him back where he started, slightly ahead, and then when he finally shows some redeeming qualities, he's killed. Does his character even have a point? If he'd been written out of the last two movies, they'd easily be half an hour shorter, more direct, and less ridiculously convoluted.
Next is Calypso. Why is she being introduced NOW?! Everyone who spoke well of the last movie said it was setting up for this one. Why are we learning that this odd witch with an accent is actually a heathen goddess? Wouldn't this information have been relevant twenty bucks and four hours ago? Then, the sudden parallels between Elizabeth and Will and Jones and Calypso is again introduced far too late. Not to mention Davy Jones death scene was horribly anti-climactic. He falls over. He just falls over. And of course, the really evil bad guy, having almost NO set up whatsoever is given an incredibly overdone sendoff as his ship explodes to splinters around him, and he stands amidst the chaos untouched. Why? What was the freaking point? I could understand if he'd been introduced as the most fiendishly evil corporate criminal in human history (not to mention the first) but he's glossed over. He's just sort of cast aside. He was far more threatening in the last film, and he didn't even DO anything. Also, why are the nine pieces of eight introduced so haphazardly, when they are a major factor in the plot? And what effect does releasing Calypso actually have on the world?
While I did enjoy the story, and the ending was at least satisfying without being needlessly cryptic, the movie has too much of a forced epic feel to it. As if the writers were far too concerned with twists and turns to remember that the story is going to end a certain way, and anyone with half a brain can see it coming the second Elizabeth is referred to as Calypso. It's about as subtle as a cannonball.
Now that all of that is out of the way, here's why it's significantly better than the last movie. Captain Jack is back in his natural character, being a goofy, well-meaning rogue who is essentially selfish, but pragmatic and not one to slaughter just for the sake of slaughter. Will and Elizabeth finally have real tension again, instead of that forced back and forth, I'm a prisoner save me, relationship (that went in BOTH directions... a LOT.) Davy Jones is no longer the cartoonish slimy bad guy, but a character with depth and, believe it or not, actual motivation and direction! The action scenes are darker, and while still don't always move the plot along, they're not quite as obvious a waste of time and special effects money. I never did like the Kraken, so I'm glad it was dead. It just seemed to make Davy Jones too damn powerful (and where did he GET the damn thing from anyway? Why not sharks with laser beams on their frickan heads at that point?) Jack's goofiness is finally revealed to be part of a real psychosis, entertaining though it is, and allows us to see he's actually able to see the consequences of his actions, even if it's a bit cartoony at times. Overall, the pacing is significantly better. Everything proceeds at the same speed, or at least, at the appropriate speed, with everyone acting in character, on target, and towards a conceivable goal.
So here's what I would have done. Cut out the middle of the second movie. Set up Davy Jones, the heart, Calypso, the love parallels, and the bad guy MUCH earlier. Write Norrington a better part, or kill him off altogether. Chop off the first 45 mins of the third movie and stick it onto the second. Then use the leftover time in the third movie to actually address all the unanswered questions and loose ends they failed to wrap up.
See, the problem is the first movie was a nice, self-contained story. When they decided to make it a trilogy, they just tried too hard. Someone should have distracted Bruckheimer with a shiny object and then a professional editor should have looked at the scripts, and sat down with the writers to make some changes. So instead of a brilliant and awe-inspiring epic trilogy, you have a flat roller coaster that spins you around until you have no idea what's going on. Seriously, with a little extra time and effort, this could have been an Oscar sweeping series, AND a blockbuster franchise. I mean, would it have killed these guys to spend one or two more weeks on the script? Hell, I'll do it for free next time! Seriously!