Terrible. They forgot the story!!!

Rating: 2/10 (19 June 2007)

I've been reading the reviews and seeing rows upon rows of 10 star out of 10 ratings and I just don't understand. Haven't all these people watched the same movie as me? Then, every 15 reviews, there's one review giving the movie 1 or 2 stars which I completely agree with.
This movie was absolutely terrible! It started out somewhat promising with some really cool scenes and an actual story where Barbosa and friends are sailing off the "end of the world" to go rescue Jack Sparrow. Then the story shifted gears and went all psychedelic-like with Jack hallucinating and talking to himself and 15 other himselves and crabs made from rocks which transport boats across the sand into the ocean and the shipwreck of 3 crews worth of people on the exact spot at the exact time on the exact beach where Jack Sparrow's boat is dropped in the water by the horde of crabs. And that was the good part of the movie.
The rest of the movie basically is a conglomeration of a dozen mini-stories, none of which seem to really go anywhere. There's some surprise sea-goddess Calypso who's released by the counsel of Pirates, and then who grows really big and transforms into crabs, which fall in the water and disappear. I thought that when they finally released her, she would unleash all hell on the Armada and the Pirates would end up victorious that way. Instead, she becomes a bunch of crabs and jumps into the water, never to be seen again. Then two pirate ships attack one enemy boat (out of hundreds), on which the captain somehow cannot find the will to shout "Attack" and therefor his boat is destroyed. That boat had double the canons of the two pirate ships combined. It should have pulverized them. Instead, the ship explodes! (Must have been the gasoline??????) Wow! What a Hollywood crap-fest!! After this the 199 other ships get scared of the two pirate ships and run away. How fitting! Genius! I'd have been scared too.
Oh yeah, I forgot the marriage scene. The marriage scene was an absolute abomination! I was embarrassed for the filmmakers through the whole thing.
This movies was so bad it hurt. The worst movie of the year so far.