"I dropped me brain"

Rating: 1/10 (27 May 2007)

This line from Jack, sums this movie up perfectly. I feel like I had a full frontal lobotomy after seeing this movie. I was nearly brought to tears by this film. Not from emotion, I don't think there's an actor in the film who could elicit that, but from how much money must have been spent on this travesty.
From the ridiculous opening scene with the dubbed over song, to the utterly pointless end battle, this movie had more in common with Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas than Pirates of the Caribbean. In fact, I've probably seen people on acid make more sense. Getting married in the middle of a battle? WHAT THE HELL?!?! And speak more clearly. The combination of mumbling and accents in this movie was a blessing in disguise to spare us from more trite and terrible dialog. Now put that to cannon fire and you have a truly unintelligible 3 hours of spoken line. And speaking of cannons, do they have any effect in this universe? 3 films, roughly 7 hours of film, each containing firefights and not one ship sinks, not one character apparently dies, from cannon fire! Until the very end, when it happens in about 2 seconds. I can't even form a coherent thought on this movie, that's how bad it, and the effect it had on me is. This is simply the worst movie I've seen since Ultraviolet. I wish there was a rating worse than 1 star.
I firmly believe that with the exception of Lord of the Rings, and possibly X-Men, the 21st century is destroying trilogies and sequels as we know them. Pirates, Star Wars, Spiderman 3, The Matrix, all gone to hell. I only pray that the Bourne Ultimatum is spared.