It's Piracy that I had to pay to see this

Rating: 2/10 (25 May 2007)

What a mess. It's as if Verbinski and company shot a bunch of film, cut it into strips, and spliced it back together randomly. Here a scene, there a scene, everywhere a scene-scene. And where's Johnny Depp? He shows up at what would be the halfway point of a normal movie. But don't worry, fans--in this behemoth he still has about 2 hours of screen time to go. The photography and effects are nice to look at, as is Keira Knightley, but it all becomes tedious. Much of the dialogue is lost in the cacophony of sound effects, or unintelligible because somebody was using their best "arrgh, Matey" pirate accent. Parents, be warned that the body count is exceptionally high--what a surprise from the usually sedate Mr. Bruckheimer. I took a trio of 13 year old girls to see this, and--even with Orlando Bloom--it couldn't hold their interest.
Of course, it will be a hit.