Don't see this movie

Rating: 1/10 (23 May 2007)

I got to go to an advanced screening of this movie the Wednesday night before it opened. It completely sucked. Bottom line is that I have no idea what happened, and neither did my friend. But the bad thing is that I don't really care. I liked the first two, and I was pumped to get to see it before most people. Unfortunately, now I have the burden of shielding people from this piece of crap. The movie tackles too many character story lines, and falls flat on all of them. You might be thinking, "Oh I love complicated movies because they are fun and intriguing!LOL!". Think again. This isn't complicated in a good way like The Departed or Memento. No. No. No. This movie is complicated in a way that you assume that the writers just made stuff up as went along. Yeah the movie looks cool at times, and there are aerial shots of tropical islands and whatnot. But I'm sure there will be plenty of large budget movies with great CGI this summer that might actually have a decent and somewhat sensible plot.I don't want to say anymore because I don't want to spoil the film for those of you out there that like to be in suspense while watching sh*tty movies, but I will say that I hope you like terribly crafted jokes involving a monkey, and I hope you like them in mass quantities. If I were Johnny Depp I would try to get on board for a Stomp the Yard sequel before I signed on to a fourth Pirates movie.