It Could Have Only Been Slightly More Boring ::Spoiler Alert::

Rating: 4/10 (29 May 2007)

I loathed the second Pirates of the Caribbean, so needless to say I was not expecting much out of the third installment. But even with my expectations so low, they were not met.
It was completely evident that the story was half-heartedly tacked on to a film that was really not meant to have sequels. The loose ends and unnecessary sub-plots served only as nails to squeeze tight this sea-bound coffin.
::SPOILERS BELOW::
I have a few questions for the filmmakers:
1. If you made such a big deal out of Calypso, why is it that she only served to create an easily escapable whirlpool? At first it seemed that everyone was making a mess out of their pants when they heard about Calypso, and it didn't make sense to have her appear, but then only to disappear without any consequence.
2. Why were we supposed to care about the hangings and the song in the beginning? The beginning might have made sense if we saw more about how the reign of the Trading Company affected "normal" people's lives, but all we saw was a bunch of random people dying, apparently for no reason. Yes, we knew the Trading Company was evil. What was intended at the beginning was trite and unnecessary. Thank you Gore Verbinsky--you just downplayed the imagery of mass murder. Which leads me to my last question.
3. Seriously? This is Pirates of the Caribbean, not Schindler's List. You don't care THAT much about the characters, and the reason the first film worked so well is that it didn't take itself so seriously. The character development of Elizabeth Swann was shoddy, the lack of resolution of plot was frustrating, and so many other elements of the film were something you might expect from an academy award winning drama, not something manufactured in the Hollywood mill.
I really enjoyed the original, and I'll continue to watch it from time to time, enjoying Johnny Depp's performance each time. There were a few Depp moments in this last one that made the Matinée price of my ticket stub almost worth what I paid.
Other than that, this film is pure crap.