You're kidding me, right?

Rating: 1/10 (4 December 2007)

It's like 150 people were told, "You can each write 1 minute of the screenplay", but no one was allowed to see what anyone else was writing; and then those little bits of script were all tossed into a blender, mixed on "high" for about a week, and finally splorked out onto the screen like a drunk sailor's vomit in stormy seas. Whoever the "continuity" person was for POTC3 should be keelhauled, drawn and quartered, hanged from a yardarm, then forced to have dinner with Gilbert Gottfried at a cheap taco joint called "The Alley Cat Tortilla".
In case it's not clear by now, what I'm saying is that THIS THING MADE NO SENSE. Is "comprehensible plot" no longer a viable concept? Has Hollywood finally come out and admitted that they'll make only one good movie, then churn out a mess (literally) of crappy sequels, knowing that their investment will make them big bucks no matter what? I hope to Poseidon that Johnny Depp is still smacking himself for ever agreeing to making this piece of trash.
And while I'm in the mood, politically incorrect as it may be, a skinny, diminutive, pouty-lipped blond won't be a convincing swashbuckler no matter HOW MUCH SHE BELLOWS!
For what it's worth, I loved the first POTC, tolerated the 2nd, and am a big pirate fan, in that I own my own swashbuckler costume, as well as a copy of "Treasure Island", have been spewing Robert Newtonish "piratese" for literally decades, and observe "Talk Like A Pirate Day" as my favorite holiday. So don't go thinking I didn't like this because I don't like pirates.