Nigh on the Worst Three Hours Ever

Rating: 2/10 (28 May 2007)

This movie really sucked. Sure the special effects were well done. The plot, dialog and most of the acting, however, were completely ridiculous. I felt real sorry for most of the theater-going world and wanted to run out about half-way through, but stuck with it because I thought maybe I was just in a bad mood and the seven other people I was with might be enjoying it.
Turns out all eight of us thought it was tedious, cheesy in a bad way, and just plain sucktastic.
This brings me to the question: Why do people give good reviews to this film. Are good visuals all you need? Are monkeys that make cute noises and Johnny Depp that makes cute noises all it takes for you to fall in love with a movie? Because aside from hearing the word "fire!" and a cannon going off every two minutes, a convoluted plot(?), and some effects, there was nothing much else to this movie.
Summary: It is lame. Don't see it.