.....ahrrrr......

Rating: 4/10 (19 June 2007)

You've seen it all before!
Same costumes, characters, scenery, dialog, etc., no new ground broken here, except to try one's patience while waiting for something interesting to happen. I've heard that this will be the final installment of 'Pirates'. Thank goodness! The first installment was great, second was fair at best, this last one was almost unbearable to watch due primarily to it's length, but also because of it's story line and screen play. The first hour had about 10 minutes that I found interesting, the rest of it had me glancing at my watch to see how much longer I had to endure it. It runs for almost 2 1/2 hours and is just too damn long!
Kiera Knightly's character is so well scrubbed throughout the film that she looks out of place against the griminess of all the other characters. Her teeth twinkle with every close up shot, as do Orlando Bloom's.....their characters must have both gone to the same dentist that all the other characters in this film couldn't afford. There are 'Pirates stock characters' like the guy with one eye and his shorter fat friend. These two have a somewhat expanded role of popping up every now and then to do a watered down Abbott and Costello-like pirate flavored routine. "Hello Poppet"...I saw it already! There are other characters like these two that one will recognize that also have expanded roles...the tongueless guy with the talking parrot, the cute monkey, the two arguing soldiers, etc., etc., when I saw any of them I thought "hey there they are again....so?..." As we have all probably heard by now, they manage to squeeze in a couple of scenes with Keith Richards from the Rolling Stones. I think he showed up in his normal attire....no make up or wardrobe needed here. They even have him strumming a few chords on a guitar at the big Pirate meeting....I think I recognized it as "Little T & A" but I could be wrong. I enjoyed watching most of the main actors...Depp, Rush, even Chow Yun Fat, and a few others. They are so good at their craft and true to their characters that their performances become part of the few saving graces of this film. When you consider the exorbitant cost of admission, I must say that I can't recommend seeing this in the theater.
The last 20 minutes or so were the most entertaining and I would suggest going to the theater to see something else then afterward sneaking in to see the last half hour of this bore-fest.