Just a big-budget, old-fashioned mess

Rating: 1/10 (16 June 2007)

Frankly, this movie isn't worth an in-depth review. It's twice as long as it needs to be, it's consumed by overly loud and unnecessary special effects, there are far too many characters, none of which are adequately delineated, and the plot is puerile and childish at best.
Jerry Bruckenheimer should be strung up by the ankles and stabbed to death with push pins for unleashing this three hours long bit of trash upon the world.
Oh...and Keira? You need to add about thirty pounds to your frame, young lady. You are painfully emaciated and in your current physical condition horribly unattractive.