"Convoluted" is not the same as "clever"

Rating: 4/10 (24 August 2014)

So if I've got this straight, we're after Jack Sparrow's compass so that it can lead us to Davy Jones' chest and/or key to said chest, so we can negotiate with Davy Jones and/or kill him but only after Jack Sparrow supplies one of the 9 pieces of 8 in order to hold a council which will determine whether to free Calypso, but only after electing a Pirate King or Queen which requires a deal which may or may not be a double-cross with the head of the East India Company and/or Sao Feng and/or Davy Jones.
Please bear in mind that, to avoid spoilers, there is actually more to it than that.
There are probably two good, fun 90 minute films in the two PotC sequels. Sadly, the writers decide to swamp the film with such an excess of pointless plot meandering that the two films come in at about five hours instead. Seriously. Every time you think we are getting somewhere, some idiot chimes in with "But FIRST we have to go to the place to get the thing..." Incidentally, feel free to wander in and out while all the above is going on, they explain it in great detail so you'll easily keep up.
Keira & Orlando are a lot more annoying in the sequels grumpily storming about like someone has stolen their milk & cookies. Fortunately we still have Johnny Depp, charming and funny as ever and also another actor who I cannot mention due to spoilers, and the two of them just about make the films watchable.
I really wanted to like these films, but we need the Kevin Smith edit, I think.