Too outrageous to be taken seriously (spoilers)

Rating: 3/10 (25 May 2007)

I went into this movie with way too high of expectations. I thought I would see an exciting movie with some good laughs and thrills. What I got was corny one-liners and the most outrageous scenes since Spiderman 3. Speaking of which, Pirates of the Caribbean: at World's End joins Spiderman 3 as movies with the worst fight-scene dialog ever...basically whenever the good guys talk to each other, one is guaranteed to say "I'm a little busy at the moment." Furthermore, I was unaware that you could launch a monkey from a cannon, but apparently POTC: AWE proved me wrong.
It was one outrageous scene after another and it starts when a million rock-crabs carry the Black Pearl on their backs. Jack Sparrow thinks it will be fun to carry on conversations with ten other Jack Sparrows...apparently Jack found some drugs in the land of the dead. Then William and Elizabeth decide to get married DURING the "epic" final battle. Then William dies and everyone sad, but don't worry, Will becomes the 4th character in the series to be brought back to life through some loop-hole in the plot. Boot-strap spends several minutes trying to kill his son, then right when it matters most he comes to his senses and tries to help him. Jack fights Davey Jones on the cylindrical sail-beam, which apparently was not slippery in the pouring rain. Then Elizabeth and Jack escape the sinking Fish-man ship by a flying parachute that is waiting for them. The evil British captain of the endeavor is enswarmed by millions of pieces of flying wood and explosions while he calmly descends a flight of stairs unscathed and decides NOT to fire back. Then the thousands of extra ships decide they can't beat two already severely-battered Black Pearl and Fish-man ship and they all turn around.
2007 will forever be remembered as the year that killed the trilogy. First Spiderman 3 proved that you don't need creative dialog or original stories to earn millions of dollars. Then Shrek 3 demonstrated the most blatant attempt in cinema history to market a plot less piece of rubbish; i wonder how much McDonalds is paying them for their glasses promotion. Now Pirates of the Caribbean: at World's End shows how it can trump them all with pointless lines and outrageous scenes just to sell tickets. Bourne Ultimatum will mark the 4th major Trequel to be released this year, and hopefully it won't suck like these major atrocities.