What a HUGE disappointment!

Rating: 3/10 (17 February 2012)

Despite the phenomenal popularity of the (thus far) four installments of the "Pirates of the Caribbean (POC)" cinematic franchise, I've found it to be a monumental disappointment. Being such a fan of the original Disneyland ride ever since it first debuted back in 1967 (I once got off the ride and got right back in line for it seven times in a row), I can't tell you how eager and excited I was to run out and see the first POC installment, "Curse of the Black Pearl," way back in 2003 especially since it starred one of my favorite cinematic actors, Johnny Depp. Oh how tragic to experience my initial eagerness and excitement quickly fade into bitter disappointment and frustration! What was immediately apparent to me was the almost complete disconnect between the vision and experience created by the ride and the vision now being projected up on the big screen. With all of its extravagant cinematography and special effects and over-the-top and even ridiculous characterizations of characters who never appeared in the ride, the film just didn't have the same creepy excitement and fantasy-world fun generated by the ride.
And these serious deficiencies have persisted throughout all three of the sequels. In particular, Johnny Depp's character of Jack Sparrow is just too fey, effete and just plain silly, Orlando Bloom (whom I despise) is too much of what he always is in every movie he's in – an inconsequential "pretty boy" that inspires absolutely no excitement or interest and Keira Knightly, a "pretty bit of fluff" who was "force fed" into the POC cinematic franchise purely out of political correctness, i.e., "we (the writers and producers of the POC films) must make sure that the world of the pirate which has been traditionally portrayed as all male is properly "updated" in our productions to be politically correct in including at least one woman main character..." Yes, there are the historical accounts of at least two very prominent women pirates, Anne Bonney and Mary Read, but I'm sure they didn't look or act anything like Keira Knightley's character – and she certainly was never even hinted at in the original Disneyland ride As a result, she is completely out of place and really detracts and distracts from the plot lines of all of the POC installments. She doesn't even work successfully as a "love interest" for Orlando Bloom or Johnny Depp as Olivia de Havilland did with Errol Flynn in "Captain Blood" or Maureen O'Hara did with EF and Anthony Quinn in "Against All Flags" since her (Knightley's) character suffers the confused split personality of being that of a butch female swashbuckler (completely unbelievable and stupid!) and a sexy feminine dish (much more likely)....
Out of a real dedication to my affection for the original ride, despite my bitter disappointment with the first installment, I've forced myself to see every one of the sequels hoping against hope that "things would get better," i.e. the films would get closer to the look and spirit of the ride – and that Orlando Bloom and/or Keira Knightley would be killed off or otherwise just disappear! Praise be to Providence that this actually did come to pass in the third sequel – BUT it's too little too late and I'm still left with the feeling of a lover who has watched the "perfect woman of his dreams" become the "the nightmare hag from hell"