*HUGE* fan of the first, but this was just atrocious

Rating: Null/10 (25 May 2007)

OK, I'm a pirate nerd, and I'll admit it. The first movie is still one of my all-time favorites. It had everything -- suspense, romance, action, fantasy, comedy, special effects, great characters, hot actors and actresses, etc. I jumped on the pirate bandwagon instantly and still love the first as much as I did back in the day. The second one was OK. It had too many subplots, but it was still kind of enjoyable. The third? Terrible. Atrocious. A monstrosity. I kid you not, it was that bad. I was so excited to see it that I stayed up all night and fought intense pirate-garbed traffic to see it at midnight on Thursday. Words can not express how disappointed I was in this movie and how disgusted I was after seeing it. I had to take a shower to cleanse myself of this filth.
There were just too many subplots that honestly made no sense whatsoever. The second one had a lot, but at least the rest of the movie was slightly enjoyable. Now I've watched deep movies like "The Departed" or "Crash" with no problem, but this one was impossible to follow. I am not an idiot, but this movie gave me an enormous headache. This guy's bad, no, he isn't, he is, no, he pretended, he pretended to pretend, she found out, they're mad, he's good, maybe, they'll make up, maybe, no, bomb falls, what? Maybe he is, I guess not, yes, no. She loves him, no wait, he loves her, no wait, this happened and made it crazy, never mind, OK, yes, no, maybe........ HUH?! Turns out that everyone else I've talked to about this movie was also confused. It had no coherence, much less a point. Stuff came out of nowhere and random things popped up that made no sense. Seriously.
The only redeeming qualities about this movie were the Johnny Depp comedy scenes and the fact that Kiera gets a bigger part than just sitting there and screaming. That's it.
From one pirate fan to another (perhaps), only see this movie if you're a die-hard fan, and I mean a DIE-HARD FAN. If you're only a semi-fan, wait for the DVD. It really is not worth going to the theater unless you'll die if you don't see this movie. Personally, I saw it because I wanted to see it before some idiot had the chance to spoil anything for me.