my girl fell asleep before they made it to mordor

Rating: Null/10 (26 May 2007)

(some spoilers)
okay, obviously a joke, but good gravy was this a long movie...
i really liked it, except for keira knightly (did i misspell her name? at this point i don't care), who not only seemed as ill-cast as ever in the franchise, but her character's twists seemed impossible to swallow (no pun intended). this well-scrubbed dainty with her ever-present strawberry lip-gloss just dragged me out of the film all night. seriously, everybody else looked they've been dragged thru the mud for a year, and she always looks ready for a maxim cover shoot?
keith richards' cameo was the best cameo in all of film-dom.
johnny depp needs an Oscar.
gore verbinsky needs an Oscar even more.
making will turner an accidental captain of the dutchman was a brave and brilliant move
the calypso story-line should have been better explored, i think. but whatever.
the opening scene was spooky and wonderful.