Sunk without a trace!

Rating: 2/10 (26 May 2007)

Where to start really... A lengthy tribute would contradict my score so I'll be as brief as I can.
POTC3 is an absolute wash out. It is a ridiculously plot heavy piece, with hours of build up to strands that are never paid off. The characters are horrendously developed, indeed Will Turner is totally redundant. Kiera Knightly produces a dreadful performance in a role that includes several vomit-inducing incidents desperately trying to protest against the 'mans' world. This includes her being named King of Pirates, having more guns than everyone else, giving a corny motivation speech worse than Morpheous in Matrix 2 and generally trying to look hard. She might as well as just got her bra out and burned it.
As for Depp, well... even his most hardcore fans will be sick to the sight of him by the end. His self-indulgent screen hogging and boring nonsense fail to entertain like he just about managed to in POTC1.
At least 45 minutes of this film could have been cut for being pointless plot that goes absolutely nowhere (see Chow yun fat and the whole calypso thing).
However, I'm sure the mindless twits who like this drivel will forgive the mind-numbingly unsatisfying story (nearly 3 hours!) and gloat about the CGI, which to be frank is exceptional. But if George Lucas has taught us anything, it's that CGI means bugger all without a strong narrative.
I'm amazed no one failed to see the issues with this film further up the ladder, so to take it to the cutting room and rescue it from being a complete let down. Even Keith Richards was an immense anti-climax - which I believe summed up the essence of the film. Plenty of stars but no quality.
The film suggests a fourth instalment but genuinely, I think they may struggle to finance it. People will be fed up with this pathetic end to the trilogy which should have ended after POTC1 - a swashbuckling enjoyable flick. Instead, they decided to weave a labyrinth of plot (to please critics who claimed the previous films were simple), a script filled with cliché rhetoric and endless scenes with little direction or drama. In the cast, the film has an embarrassment of riches but they're not worth their weight in dung let alone gold after their performances - be it the scripts fault or their own.
Take my advice and hoist anchor - this is fool's gold.