Why all the Hype?

Rating: 7/10 (28 May 2007)

As I watched this movie, I couldn't help but feel even more strongly what I felt in the second one...the first one should've been left alone. I mean, sure, everybody loves a little swashbuckling action, wisecracks, and stunning special effects...but neither the second nor the third had nearly as much character development, plot material, or ingenuity as the first one.
Now, granted, it was decent. Notice the 7 I gave it despite what it falls short of. But even then, I can't help but feel that this film is overrated. The action sequences were amazing, and yet tiresome at the same time. The first one kept you on the edge of your seat to see who would fall off of a wooden cart...and the third one had me yawning through exploding ships twirling down a maelstrom during a storm.
It's almost as if the director and producers played with action figures to plot the entire course of the film. Watch it again and you'll notice how things fly freely to and fro without much thought. Granted, certain areas of the scenes are quite eye-popping. But it still seems somewhat...tasteless.
Then there's the ridiculous way the characters bounce about and crack half-witted jokes (most of the time, some had me laughing). I noticed this beginning in the second one too. In the first one, people were dramatic and focused. The shots and angles were nothing short of poetic. In this one, it almost looks like a bunch of circus clowns (dressed up as pirates, of course) swinging across ropes and acting like eight-year-olds.
Long review, eh? Well, long movie. Peter Jackson's King Kong was about as long as this, yet it held my interest until credits rolled. This was a tedious voyage with some interesting elements, but over all poorly executed. And you have to admit, the voodoo woman was nothing short of ridiculous. I've never heard a less convincing accent in my entire life. The Pillsbury Doughboy can be more ominous than her.
So drink up, me hearties, yo ho! And hope to God there isn't a fourth one...