Disappointing

Rating: 5/10 (7 June 2007)

I had such high hopes for this. How could they go wrong? I thought. You have an established win with Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow; some good plot threads to tie off from #2; and a huge summer budget. They could have stolen the plot of "Cutthroat Island" and had a huge success.
The Good: Johnny Depp has never disappointed me in a role, whether or not I liked the particular movie. One of the better actors of our generation, I would say without reservation. Jack Sparrow is made 'real' in a way few other actors could hope to accomplish.
Still Good: The special effects are, for the most part, awesome and well done. Costuming, sets, CGI...all with an eye to detail. More than a few were unnecessary and done just because they *could* be, I believe, but even so, done very well.
That said...on to the Bad and/or disappointing.
Put simply, the movie had no 'heart'. No single driving plot that carried us through from beginning to end. Visually stunning, occasionally humorous, thrilling every so often, but under the flash and bang, there's no substance.
Opening scene is mass hangings and a song. Okay, that's obviously why the mass hangings were taking place, to get a cheap chorus line going. We assume it's important but it's never explained in the movie. We have to come home and read message boards and bounce ideas and make assumptions. Watching the movie...if there's a serious WTF Moment in the first five minutes and it isn't cleared up by the end...the movie has problems.
Next, we're in Singapore. This would have been a voyage of several months at least...one way. And it appears Caribbean pirates make this trip regularly, because everyone knows everyone else and has long and frequent interactions with them over the span of their mutual history as pirates. But willing suspension of disbelief and all that...I guess the Caribbean isn't exotic or big enough, the script hacks felt they had to go farther afield than Davy Jones' Locker.
Then it's off to World's End...or at least Davy Jones' Locker. This part was awesome and could have been expanded to fill the movie much more satisfyingly than the rest of the drek they felt necessary to inflict upon us.
Then we get some god-awful Calypso storyline that has no point, purpose, resolution, or meaning other than the opportunity to showcase some more spiffy effects and throw in a few more betrayals.
The first movie stands as one of the best, funnest movies to come out in the past ten years. High-seas adventure and hi-jinx had by all, a good rip-roaring adventure tale. The sequel was inevitable, and possibly a trilogy...so #2 (DMC) you sort of expected to have some threads left hanging to open the door to #3.
The actors all did an outstanding job with what they had to work with...but honestly, the producers should have shaved a few of the special effects and spent the extra money on a coherent script. While there's plenty of PotC fans willing to spend money on anything and slavishly sing its praises...this was not at all worthy of being attached with the name of the first movie.
Rumor has it that both Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightly have stated they won't do a PotC 4. Given their experiences with this one...I don't blame them a bit. Everything that made the first one great was missing in this installment, replaced by special effects and a Bigger Is Better mentality.
My advice: go see it at a matinée, because the effects are worth seeing on the big screen. The story doesn't deserve full-price admission, though.