Flow chart, anyone?

Rating: 6/10 (31 August 2008)

The Good:
GREAT cast. Some nice costumes (though I've honestly seen better on Xena). Good score. Great bloopers. Moments (fleeting) of genuine interest and/or pathos.
The Bad:
What was UP with the plot??? I spent most of my time totally confused. Characters deviated massively from previous direction. Depp's characterizations (I hesitate to call it "acting") were less energetic, focused, and purposeful than previous versions. Too. Many. Freaking. Explosions. We have seen it, seen it, seen it. Likewise "sticky" sound effects and "gross-out" humor. The absolutely pointless folderal of making Elizabeth the pirate king and then having her turn all her power over to men and then -- what? Pirate king? No idea what you're talking about (the plot devise disappeared). The ending -- pick whichever one you like, it was emotionally unsatisfying.
The picture showed some promise by taking a much darker turn than the first two, but the plot was so impossibly & ludicrously tangled that it sank under its own weight. And after all the time we've invested in the various characters, to have so many killed off or otherwise sidelined, not to mention the ridiculous fate of Will -- I just don't even have the words. A betrayal of the audience. These are supposed to be old-fashioned adventure flicks, not Wuthering Heights, for pete's sake.
Take Frank Capra's advice and cut the third reel. Focus on tight plot and development of characters along pre-existing arcs. Have some strong, compelling over-arching value that the plot is connected to. (The value could've easily been "freedom" but it became "freedom from this confusing mass of explosions.") SHOW THE CONSEQUENCES OF ACTIONS. Elizabeth's near non-reaction to her father's death, and the fact that it had zero impact on her relationship with Will, was one of only a bajillion examples of plot grenades launched at the audience.
A good pair of scissors, or perhaps a flow-chart of Current Betrayals on the left side of the screen, could have made all the difference.