Abandon ship, mates!

Rating: 4/10 (26 May 2007)

First of all, let me say that I love PotC and liked DMC, perhaps even more than CotBP. And all the mysteries of that movie were supposed to be solved in this one. Well, some were... unfortunately.
The best thing I can say about this movie as that anyone who doesn't love Barbossa after this one doesn't know a great character when they see one. Hats off, Mr. Rush, you rock - I'd sail with you anytime, Cap'n. Face it, he steals the show whenever he appears in this one. And Jack the monkey manages that too. Not that that is very hard.
As for the bad aspects, there are many to list. First of all, while the plots work individually, all together, you might get a little confused. Let's break it up to the characters, shall we? Beware, here be spoilers!
---The "good" guys---
Having dealt with Barbossa, let's move straight to the man you all came to see, dear old Jack Sparrow. Pardon me, *Captain* Jack Sparrow. The worst thing about him are his long absences from the stage. Less Jack = less fun. Yes, mates, far less rum in this movie. Aside from that, the little fits of temporary insanity after being released from Davy Jones' locker tend to be slightly wacky, in the non-funny sense of the word. He seems slightly too passive to be the drunken sailor we loved in the previous two films. This Jack is far more sober, thus far less funny now. That alone was a major let-down.
Now, Luke Sky-... ah, I mean, Romeo... he he, sorry, Will Turner. What can we say about the not funny angst-ridden youth? Well, he tries to think like Jack, or so he says. He becomes distrustful of Elizabeth and, finally, turns into a baddie for a while. Not someone you want to have tea with, which was really the only scene in which I liked him. The end of his story is very, very cliché and not very realistic.
Princess Leia! Or was that (Pirate) Queen Elizabeth? The latter, I guess. Because Leia would certainly act differently, not go Disney and out of character in the end. Here you have one pirate-crazy rebel tomboy who becomes captain and then THE pirate boss and then.... throws it all away! W00t! Talk about Disney romance. Especially since the compensation for forsaking her dreams of freedom is seeing her hubby once a decade. Makes you wonder just what she has been doing all that time. Also makes you wonder where all that Han Solo - Princess Leia relationship between her and Jack went. In short, Lizzie's daft... unfortunately, not like Jack anymore.
Norrington is a very confused man. Very, VERY confused. He had NO idea what he was doing when he handed the heart to Beckett. NO IDEA, And thus, he must be PUNISHED!!! Because, really, there is absolutely no way to insert him into the story without killing him. Yes, ladies and gents, what could have been a good subplot should be sent into screenplay oblivion. End of story.
---Da Baddies--- Beckett - it's just business, Cutler. Nothing personal. We all knew you were a flat character from the beginning. We blame Disney, not you.
Davy Jones - Darth Vader, ahoy! Well, at least you got the girl in the end, eh, Squidhead? And attempted to attack our emotions, but failed... in general.
Sao Feng - No background, no major importance to the story... move along, nothing to see here.
-Summary- *le sigh* I was looking forward to this movie very much. It left me a bit disappointed. Sorry, Jack - you pretty much lied in the trailer, love. Pity, there. Not even you can save this sinking ship.