A ship without a pilot, meandering the seas of boring

Rating: Null/10 (25 August 2011)

Some things from your childhood you cherish. Pop Rocks, Monopoly (until your dad crafts a crooked deal and you end up with the utility companies and he's got 4 monopolies), and bad haircuts. I also used to love the "choose your own adventure" books. You know, you get to see if Joe Hardy gets hit on the head with a baseball bat or a frying pan, and if Frank finds him tied up or in a bag. It gave you power over your entertainment.
Now imagine reading one of those books where not only was someone choosing your adventure for you, but when they came to a scenario they didn't like, they'd change it - you've got Pirates 3. Joe gets hit over the head with a dead fish and Frank finds him at World's End.
I'll start with some good things. Johnny Depp's acting job was far superior in this flick than it was in the last two movies. Unfortunately the funniest parts had nothing to do with the story and were complete deviations. The costuming was very good, as usual. Kudos to Justin Geer for rocking it as a pirate (gotta give the local love). By far, the best part of the movie was the trailer for Transformers. Booya! Gonna be awesome. (Note: I wrote this when I saw POTC in theaters - boy was I wrong)
That was brief, like my sense of enjoyment while being held hostage for nearly 3 hours as I was beat over the head with stupid plot, overall poor acting, and terrible CGI and sound design. "But nobody cares about sound design, Fat Man." Right they don't. They should. Being forgiving of an industry whose sole purpose is to create entertaining films is only harming you. You critique an independent film to death (which you should), but don't care about an industry that is supposed to be the highest level of professionalism around, but can't put enough detail into CGI to make it reasonably realistic. Flame off.
This movie was a ship without a pilot. I will be accused of hating fun, but I don't think there's a problem with having standards. My appendectomy was a better watch.