Clunker

Rating: 1/10 (27 May 2007)

I haven't hated a film in a long time. Usually, I can sit through bad or boring films with a shrug and find its hidden merits. During Pirates 3 however, I was beset with ill-feeling. I hated this movie.
Perhaps it was due to the fact that I haven't seen Pirates 2 since last year, or maybe it's just me, but this film was making no sense! Characters would change sides without any apparent reason or consequence. Chow Yun-Fat was around for about ten minutes of screen time, and did nothing. And the love angle between Keira and Orlando was nonsense. The final beach scene anyone? And Johnny doesn't even show up for at least 20 minutes! (His first scene was the best one in the film in my opinion.) And the thing is, I really enjoyed 1 and 2. Pirates 1 was great and 2 was tolerable. But for some reason, this installment triggered something in my mind that I could not let go.
And SPOILER OK they have a god. What do they come up with? Let's turn her into a giant, have her grunt in low bass tones, and then turn her into thousands of crabs... Hmmm... Right.
But... everyone's going to see this anyway. I mean, they got my $10 right?