Kill your darlings

Rating: 2/10 (24 May 2007)

Well, now I've seen the third installment in the Pirates franchise. I'm not very impressed. The things that felt fresh in the first movie now just feel tedious.
For example, captain Jacks queer-positive antics which gave the first movie some spark now are a bit dull. You can fell how they are trying to cash in on his style by cramming as much of it in the two sequels as possible, and you feel a bit fed up with it after a while and wish they'd just get on with the story. The introduction to Jack in the third movie (surely it can't be a spoiler that he returns in this one?) is a scene that just goes on and on. It may have been five minutes long, but it felt like it dragged on for half an hour. The whole scene feels constructed to give the audience as much of wacky Jacks crazy antics as possible. I say alright already. And this come from someone who loves Johnny Depp as an actor.
The first hour of the film is tedious, and it's already now dragging its heels (sadly, it doesn't get much better). Why oh why does it have to be three hours long! Verbinski just has got to learn how to kill his darlings. Yes, battles are fun and special effects are cool, but if it goes on for too long it just gets plain boring (especially the final battle).
Unfortunately I can't remember where I read it, but I think it was Bloom (I may be wrong) who said that there was some confusion while shooting the movie because of the ever changing script. Rather, I'd say that the crew made it up as they went along. The story is messy and the dialogue as poorly written (I never did get the "Aaargh, matey" captain from the Simpsons out of my head).
I quite liked Orlando Bloom in Kingdom of Heaven (not the crapfest I expected it to be) and Keira Knightley, well she's Keira Knightley, what can I say (be still my heart!). But the couple has zero chemistry on screen. You really don't get what she sees in Blooms character (or is it just me that's jealous?).
The special effects are OK, which I think is a result from how quickly you grow accustomed to things. I remember seeing the first installment and was insanely impressed by the special effects, especially the scene in the cave where Depp and Rush are fighting, where they run in and out of the moonlight. Still one of the best special effects sequences I've seen. In the second movie the thing that made me raise my eyebrows was the crew of the Flying Dutchman, and especially Bill Nighy's character. But this time around most things were met by a big yawn and a wish that they'd move on with the story instead.
Spend your money on David Fincher's Zodiac instead. Yes, it's a totally different genre, and yes it's slow. But it's still the best movie to be released this summer (so far).