confusing and disjointed

Rating: 6/10 (24 June 2007)

The original film in this franchise, The Curse of the Black Pearl, has not been well served by its two sequels. The first film worked so well partly because of the novelty of Johnny Depp's Sparrow, and partly because its writers kept the plot entertaining without feeling the desperate need to change its direction every few minutes to keep their audience's interest. Unfortunately, the latest pirates romp fails on both counts; Depp is still funny, in parts, but his eccentric mannerisms are relied upon in places to conceal a desperately inadequate, disjointed and confusing plot. Furthermore, Keira Knighly may convince as a feisty Austen heroine but she fails dismally as a rough-hewn pirate laydee, no more so than when she attempts to deliver a blood-raising speech with the shrill voice of a netball instructor. She is however able to display more machismo than Orlando Bloom. The couple together display zero chemistry, even when canoodling on a sandy beach before a ten years' forced separation, which is quite an achievement. I'm desperately fond of the original pirates film, and really wanted to like this one, keen to believe that the first sequel, Dead Man's Chest, was merely a blip. However, now I'm convinced that Black Pearl was the exception, and that under the tangle of dreadlocks, black make-up and contrived, hyperactive plots, there is little of substance here.