The definition of what's wrong with the "Blockbuster" movie

Rating: 3/10 (20 June 2007)

Most of my reviews contain pithy little comments about the plot, whether the movie is good or bad, and who the movie might suit. Pirates of the Caribbean 3 has inspired my creative juices though, so i think a longer review is justified. For those people that prefer the pithy reviews ...
Pirates of the Caribbean is your average blockbuster with plenty of bangs and very little in the way of good acting or story telling. As with the second POTC there is very little in the way of plot with the film being a series of set pieces. Most people that are looking for eye candy will be entertained by the movie since it contains Messrs Depp, Bloom & Knightly. There's plenty of action as well for those adrenalin junkies that enjoy plenty of explosions and fighting.
Pirates of the Caribbean 3 is a classic example of what is wrong with Blockbuster movies.
The acting in the movie is appalling. However good looking Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly are they cannot act and have less presence than Marlon Brando's wig. It's probably a bit unfair to compare any actors with Brando, but I'm sure if you plucked a couple of good looking people from the Mall they'd be better actors than Bloom and Knightly. I've actually given the film an extra point because it was rather entertaining to see just how poor they were! Having said that the rest of the cast can't be excused either and the performances of Rush and Depp are probably worse than Bloom and Knightly, since they can act in the first place!
One of the fundamentals of film making is that you should be moved in some way by the characters. This is certainly not the case with POTC 3 though and as the trials and tribulations unfold you are completely detached and couldn't care less who bites the bullet and who survives. I would be absolutely staggered if anyone showed any emotional reaction to the film whatsoever.
Bearing in mind the previous comments the director must take his share of the blame. Verbinski is clearly more interested in the cgi than the fundamentals of the film. I suspect if you put aside the last couple of scenes you could rearrange the previous 30 or 40 scenes in any order and it wouldn't make much difference to the finished product. It feels like each actor has been allocated scenes based on their order in the cast. I'm sure most people will be aware of the friction on the set of the Magnificent Seven and this has a similar feel to it. Johnny Depp obviously wasn't content to appear once, so appeared several times and you can't help thinking that he might have had something to do with that himself.
The film is too long and the editor should have cut an hour from the running time, but maybe the 168 minutes gives the film some gravitas. Apart from the acting inabilities of Knightly and Bloom some of the effects are quite good. That's one thing you are normally sure of with blockbusters though ... a few good effects.
The thing that most annoys me about blockbusters ... I (and many others) go and see them! You feel like you are missing out if you don't go to see it, so even though you know it's going to be average you still shell out your hard earned cash! Sucker!!!
For those people thinking of going to see POTC 3 at the movies ... wait to watch it on TV!