Pirates of the Caribbean: At Wit's End.

Rating: Null/10 (7 June 2007)

There's no ho ho in this infuriating, wasted opportunity. I can't believe I stumped up £7.80 (that's around $15) of my hard earned booty to sit through this squalid wreck of a movie. The first was brilliant, the second not bad. But boy is this lame. And confusing. And pointless.
One of the film's motifs, the stone crabs, provides a nifty metaphor for the film. It's like a nasty dose of crabs: the pay off for some previously experienced pleasure. And while I still admire the first in the trilogy (please let it be a trilogy: no more sequels!) this has rather stolen its luster. Cutthroat Island was better than this... No, maybe not. But at least Cutthroat Island had the decency to sink without a trace.