"Close your eyes and pretend it's all a bad dream. That's how I get by !"

Rating: 2/10 (16 May 2011)

According to Gore Verbinski, the Pirates' trilogy director, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) was a character-driven film and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006) was a plot-driven film, so to make the whole saga work, he wanted to make Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007) a combination of both plot and character. Well, Mr. Verbinski, I think that you'll going to be burn in hell for your huge HUGE lies!
The plan was to mix the Hollywood blockbuster action with a fantasy epic, but the outcome was billionaires' nonsense. It is a catalogue of incredibly awful script done by a sum of money that could repair an economy of a small nation!
It's too dense, with too much sophisticated sets, costumes, and CGI. It has countless events, dialogues, and characters. Speaking about characters; why all of these teams of pirates?, Jack's father?? AND ALL OF THESE JACKS??? It was like "loved Jack?, so take many of it, all the load you can get!". Simply, that was for filling the time of the second in the worst 2 sequels that wanted desperately to turn the first stand-alone (Pirates) into a trilogy anyway, at all costs, most probably to imitate the mightily successful Lord of The Rings of the same decade.
The unbelievable events are endless. Excuse me for forgetting some, because the movie did make me dizzy, and for days after it. I recall that the transforming of the black augur into Godzilla was farcical, like these writers got nothing to do. The moment of the Asian pirate giving away his ship to Elizabeth while his dying can't be more imbecile to write. Why he did that? (rather why his character is made in the first place?!). The plot is about killing someone who's already DEAD (the shoddy issue of Pirates 2 continues!). It's hard to believe that Jack has a female lover. And the end, in which Jack thinks of another treasure, is painful; since they actually aspire after a FOURTH ONE!
The dialogue was unstoppable windbag. While having nothing remotely funny, it tried its best to sound so wise, ending up as idiotically wise. Just read this: "Barbossa: The world used to be a bigger place / Jack: World is still the same. There's just less in it"???!!! It was too serious in the wrong place. Originally, taking the nonsense seriously is bad. Here's a rule that sums up the movie utterly!
Notice when it, out of the blue, goes to criticize politics, negotiations, and stuff (WHYYYYYY?!!!). That uncovers clearly the way this movie was made: the writers allege something that looks considerable, while it's baloney, then the director strains himself to picture it, mostly wearily, by super wild budget and never-ending money. It could be the highest provocative foolishness I have ever experienced cinematically. Because the brainless costly jam that they all made; lacked anything suspenseful, produced a deadly bore, and gave the feel of a surreal titanic that immerses slowly!
So, it's more boring than the Bold and The Beautiful, more ridiculous than Tom Green, and more heavy than the whole 3 prequels of Star Wars (and I thought that George Lucas is the only billionaire who makes movies for himself!). In brief, annoying wasn't more expensively portrayed like this before. By the way, this is "The most expensive film ever made, not adjusted for inflation, where the budget ran at $300,000,000", and "Filming started without a finished script"; connect between the 2 pieces of info, and you might get the picture of the contemporary Hollywood!
Nevertheless, I liked things from it: The first sequence. The visually dazzling daydream of Jack; concerning rescuing his ship by cooperating crabs. The ship when it overturned to another sea; now that's a fantasy. Some of the climax's action; however it was like a lonely island, solid and rational, in an ocean of hallucination; being the best climax for a big action fantasy that I haven't seen. Moreover, the presence of this movie, as it is, in reality, to be easily memorable example for a familiar tragedy nowadays: zero as a script + 8 zeros on the right of one number as a budget for that script!
I can't hold it; these lines, from the movie itself, fit perfectly as wicked comments about it: "You add an agreeable sense of the macabre to any delirium", "NOBODY MOVE. I've dropped me brain", "Once was quite enough", "Why would he do that? Because he's a lummox!", and the most expressive one about my condition during the viewing: "Close your eyes and pretend it's all a bad dream. That's how I get by". Believe me, that's how I get by the majority of the American blockbusters lately!
This is made by lummox people, with impudence and millions to spend. It's none other than nonsense epic, too long, too crowded, and too soulless to be entertaining. It's exactly like Davy Jones; rich, ugly, and dead, yet alive noisily and evilly!
The producers get their millions back. And millions of us get punk'd. It's the game now, where their aspiration equals our exasperation.