3 Hours of Pain

Rating: 1/10 (25 May 2007)

This being the first Pirates movie I've seen as a whole, I have to say that my low expectations were smashed. I can only recall the the first 2 hours and 15 minutes or so being a bunch of pirates talking to each other, plotting, and cracking puns.
The last half hour or so of obligatory battling was interrupted by dry, cheesy humor and slapstick violence. I guess that's what people love about the Pirates movies, but I hated it. It didn't have any flow. I didn't take it seriously, or feel any kind of connection to any of the characters. The special effects were the only redeeming factor, as a lot of visuals were flat out stunning to the eye.
Elizabeth may be hot, but she just bounces around to any guy and starts making out, it seems like. She seems to be the obligatory girl, to throw in the obligatory love subplot.
If you haven't seen any Pirates movies, don't even bother starting here. It's flat out lame. You'll feel like walking out of the theater early if you have the same emotions run through you as I did.