You Make Me Cry... *Spoiler Warning*

Rating: 1/10 (25 May 2007)

Jack Sparrow what has become of you? I am a fan. A big fan of POTC:COTBP, a less enthusiastic fan of POTC:DMC and now I am no fan of POTC:AWE. Let me tell you there is no AWE in AWE.
Hmm... let's see, why are we here watching this movie? Johnny Depp! Well, he's so obviously bored we simply witness a complete shadow, a charade, a cheap impression of his previous Jack Sparrow glory.
I don't even want to get into the completely wooden love affair between Elizabeth and William. I wonder if they hate each other in real life? Because they have absolutely no catalyst for romance between them. Their final kiss looks like two siblings making out on a dare.
Davey Jones' romance with Calypso has no appeal for the audience, no effective elaboration, and no resolution. Not to mention he's a friggin' squid.
Characters flip-flop from good to bad, from smart to stupid, from outwitting to dunderheaded.
A whole Armada of ships runs away because their Captain is killed? Not bloody likely.
What else, the special effects...not so special. Once you've seen a ship burst form the water like a gray whale you've seen it a hundred times.
Cheesy love affairs, ridiculous explanations, flimsy characters, two hours too long, bored actors, frightened "safe" film making and a whole host of new pirate captains all of whom land directly in the melting pot of racially stereotypical caricatures.
Good work Hollywood, looks like your gonna make a bundle on this travesty of celluloid masquerading as a grand night out at the movies.