A sour Pineapple taste! Yuck!!!

Rating: 3/10 (9 May 2009)

A "Pineapple Express" movie a day, keeps the viewers away! And that is an understatement on how atrocious and rotten this Pineapple tasted to my movie appetite. "Pineapple Express" is simply one of the worst films I have ever seen. I am sorry producer king Judd Apatow, but your comedy streak express has come to a halt. Apatow has produced, written, and directed a core of elite comedies in the last few years including: "Knocked Up", "Step Brothers", "Forgetting Sarah Marshall", "Superbad", "I Love You, Man" and even the overrated but adequate "The 40 Year Old Virgin". But Apatow has manufactured his first cinematic monstrosity. "Pineapple Express" is a foolish & disintegrated film about two stoner dudes who get in a high heap of trouble when one of them witnesses a murder. Seth Rogen plays Dale Denton. Dale is a court-process clerk who buys drugs from drug dealer Saul Silver played by James Franco. Dale is cerebrally dormant, profoundly egotistical, and conclusively annoying. Dale is close to his 30's and has a high school girlfriend, which makes him an even creepier character. Saul is your archetypical, lethargic illegal pharmaceutical rep (yea, you got it!) who does constant product testing to most of the hash he sells; if you get my drift. Dale is definitely in the list of Saul's preferred customers. In a token of appreciation, Saul lets Dale smoke & keep his most unique and valued possession: the Pineapple Express hashish. In one of his court-process "you've been served" trips, Dale witnesses a murder. The killers are drug dealing kingpin Ted Jones badly played by Gary Cole and corrupt police officer Carol badly played by Rosie Perez. Ted & Carol witness that Dale witnessed the crime. Dale drops his Pineapple doobie after freaking out cause of the shooting and Ted's puff of the Pineapple leads the trail to Saul. The Doobie Brothers themselves, Saul and Dale, consequently go on the run to evade Ted's hit men crew. Saul and Dale hook up with an even more ridiculous character, drug dealer Red. Danny McBride's performance as Red should have been caught red-handed as an exercise in acting futility. The rest of the film is high on despicable irrelevant gore and burned-out marijuana expositions/references. Director David Gordon Green, who is a master of the art house independent film, must have either been offered lots of green to direct the movie or smoked lots of green in directing the movie. Either way, I hope the very talented Mr. Green does not go into this wasted movie Greenland again. Rogen co-wrote the script with longtime collaborator & best buddy Evan Goldberg. They also collaborated for the 'Superbad" screenplay which was super good, but the "Pineapple Express" was  (Doy! Fill in the blanks! What do you think I was going to say?) I am still gagging! And I am still mind boggled how James Franco was in the company of the Golden Globe Awards' Best Actor (Comedy/Musical) nominees; to be frank with you, any amateur actor could have played his stoner drug dealer role. And let me not get started on Rogen! Seth, what happened? Not very Sethy here buddy! There is no need to travel on the "Pineapple Express" through your cinematic journeys. Take the highway home and stay away!!!! Now!!!!!!!! * Failure