Sneak in for the good parts then leave

Rating: 4/10 (29 May 2001)

There's really no point in sticking around for three hours, as there's not three hours worth of compelling story. I know, I know..."it's just a popcorn movie." What a cop out. People who use this phrase as an excuse for bad movies will just end up getting more bad movies. "Pearl Harbor" was just bad, plain and simple. The actual attack scenes are spectacular (and 90 minutes after the starting time...plan your sneaking in accordingly), but even those are ruined by the main characters talking.
Here's the breakdown: The good part of "Pearl Harbor," the attack, lasts about 40 minutes. The rest of the three hour movie is a bad, bad love story. The dialogue is wooden, the situations aren't believable, and after a while, you just wish the Japanese would finish them ALL off. None of the actors can act, but even if they could, the editing is so choppy you'd never be able to tell.
Michael Bay is a great technical director, but he doesn't know how to tell a story. Shaking the camera does not an action scene make. With the exception of the attack (which I suspect was choreographed by the artists at ILM), the action is incomprehensible. You never can see who's doing what to whom.
So yes...stuff blowing up is cool, but the love story is so sticky it's like watching a bad episode of "Felicity." My advice is to show up 90 minutes late, watch the attack, then leave the theater and get a refund. Trust me. You'll be much happier this way.