Thank you, Michael Bay, for making us laugh about love... again!

Rating: 1/10 (30 September 2003)

John Hartnett and Ben Affleck star as dashing (as opposed to merely "runny") pilots in love with the same woman, a for the time surprisingly anorexic model type played by Kate Beckinsale. This love triangle gets so convoluted and unbelievable throughout the film that one almost expects Hartnett and Affleck to end up together, or possibly even a sexy soft-core three-way (Beckinsale: "Oh... I just can't decide between the two of you, so I'll have you BOTH!").
Equally hilarious is the complete lack of historical accuracy, from the Germans bombing DOWNTOWN London (and where would this be, pray tell?), to the fact that Hawaii is populated by nothing but rich Caucasians, dressing their kids as angels and chasing them down hills in slow motion. Also of course absolutely nobody smokes, despite the fact that this is the frickin' '40s. Not to mention the physically impossible flying scenes during Bays action scenes, apparently an intended homage to Star Wars - or so they would be if Bay's direction didn't immediately disintegrate into a rampageous helter-skelter mess of atrocious takes, clumsy acting, irritatingly gut-wrenching hand-held camera wiggling, and music-video editing.
The movie's politically correct portrayal of the Japanese should also not be missed, planning their attack with toy boats in a little pool while lamenting the unfortunate fact that they have to attack the United States. "A brilliant man would find a way not to fight a war", Yamamoto says, "but they have given us no choice. Due to some economical reason or other, possibly to do with trade routes or something, we must attack the U.S., even though we really don't want to. In fact, we love America and are really, really sorry for having to attack it. Please accept my most sincere apologies for this heinous act. [*starts sobbing*] Oh, why? WHY must we do this? WHHHHYYYYTY!"
FDR: "You see, because I can get out of my wheelchair and walk, our sneak attack on Japan will be successful!"
FDR's advisors: "You truly make a persuasive argument, Mr. President!"
If this has not convinced you to watch this hilarious comedy, nothing will.