HA HA HA HA ....

Rating: Null/10 (8 August 2001)

Why am I laughing? Because this is the most ridiculous movie I have seen in ages. Yet again Hollywood contorts the events of the past to relieve the conscience of a modern audience. While America drips over the screen like warm, syrup drenched apple pie, the Japanese march around their evil empire with cold efficiency. I wouldn't have been surprised to see Darth Vader himself make a cameo.
If you've seen Independence Day, think that with quadruple the special effects and a quarter (and that's generous) of the intellect. Even Bill Pullman's excruciating "We will not go quietly..." speech towers over Affleck and Hartnett's risible efforts like a Shakespearean Soliloquay delivered by Sir Lawrence Olivier himself.
Of course, audiences will flock to it just as they did Titanic and Ryan's privates, rallied by those awful 'Movie Chart' shows that give praise to the most wretched hound of a movie - nothing will ever change. Total, utter, unashamed drivel. Coming next summer "How America won Vietnam". Don't laugh just yet.