Hilariously Awful!

Rating: Null/10 (15 September 2001)

REVIEW: Pearl Harbor MOVIE GRADE: *1/2 out of **** BAD MOVIE GRADE: ***1/2 out of ****
Pearl Harbor is the most unintelligent action movie I've seen since Armageddon. It is so awful that it gets hilarious at times. Especially when a girl tells a boy, "I'm gonna give Danny my whole heart, but I'll never be able to look at another sunset without thinking of you". The movie attempts to do to Pearl Harbor what James Cameron did for Titanic. Titanic seems like Ingmar Bergman compared to this. There are two things I hate most about this junk. First, the movie has a good story (Dorie Miller) in its reach. Just when it's getting interesting, they cut away to a boring love story, probably because they're afraid to put an African American story into full focus in a summer blockbuster. The other thing that I'm most offended about is toning down the carnage to a PG-13. I HATE watered down war movies! That's partly why U-571 was so awful. By toning it down, they are just giving a giant middle finger to all WWII vets everywhere.