"How do you know they're submerged, if they're submerged?"

Rating: 1/10 (20 December 2002)

Could a movie be any more idiotic than this? Michael Bay uses Hitler's tactics in his movie making: "Always go for the lowest common denominator". Of course making movies like that will always bring him huge profits, since most people are deeply stupid, but he will never get the respect of the eclectic ones.
The direction is the usual intolerable Michael Bay direction. 90% closeups, slo-mo in every "important scene" and continuous fast cuts. Did I mention the close ups?
The screenplay makes George Lucas seem like Paul Schrader. It is probably Michael Bay's impression that movies are being watched by a bunch of people who are occasionally looking at the screen, while eating pop-corn and talking to their friends at the same time. I am not going to go into details, but this script contains the line: "I'm gonna give Danny my whole heart, but I don't think I'll ever look at another sunset, without thinking of you".
Of course Michael Bay is PC, since this is a big production and he needs the money of the African-American population, so a black cook rises above the oppression and becomes a hero in a most pretentious scene.
The usual anti-everything-not-American theme didn't bother me much, except for the triumphant(?!) ending. As I said, Bay goes for the idiots.
The 'Titanic' "references" are great though. They emphasize how shamelessly talentless Michael Bay is. I liked that.
Compared to this movie, 'Top Gun' looks like 'Citizen Kane'.
0/10