A 3 Hr instruction video on how NOT to make a film

Rating: Null/10 (3 June 2001)

First of all I would like to congrat you on a great Website, I have been using it for years and it has just got better by the day.
Well now for the bad news....The film! I will try to keep it nice and short and to the point, not like the film director.
I watched the trailer last year with my wife and we both agreed that this was going to be a really good film. After the hype and build up it eventually arrived. I was a little disapointed that it was aimed at being a love story but my wife was pretty chuffed.
We paid our five pound fifty and we sat down ready to witness the marvel of the year. Little did I know that I would be sitting there for a good hour until the action started.
The film starts with the traditional build up and get to know the characters etc... but this seemed to enjoy stretching the whole thing out. I could of accepted a love story as I always get my way with the choice of films so it was about time my wife got a treat and watched a great love story. The only problem is that the hour long intro was totally pathetic and unbelieveable. It is not often I catch myself staring at the ceiling waiting for a film to finish, and then to look over and see my wife doing the same. We both looked at each other and both wished that the film would just get on with it.
Then came the part where the film title had a meaning ie "Pearl Harbour", this was where the film remembered what it was about and got on with the story. To be honest you could of just arrived at this point and still felt like you had watched a complete movie.
I then gripped my seat ready for a jaw drop, but it didnt! I wont say the effects were bad, in fact they were very good. My problem was that they were nothing new, there was no new ground breaking FX's being displayed here at all. Surely this was a perfect opportunity to display the next generation of FX's? I have unfortunately got very bored with the same old CGI FX's and I strongly welcome a good jaw drop, but not here I am afraid.
Please dont get me wrong though, the attack was by far the best bit of the film and it was a pleasure to finally get to the point after an hour of watching paint dry.
The planes attacked, the nurses helped the injured and the two heroes got into the air to "save the day (ish)". Oh, and I think Cuba Goddard Jnr was in the film too!? (What a waste of a talent)
Well after being entertained at the attack something strange happened, I seemed to have blinked then magically moved to another cinema and found myself watching a sequel to the film "Pearl Harbour".
Somehow after the attack, the film then decided to gloss around the reality of the event and just fast forward to the bit where the yanks try to revenge the attack. There was little aftermath, no lesson learning, very little mourning and no summary of what had just happened. The film just seemed to completely start up again where it should of finished and begin telling a completely different story. It was just incredible to witness this strange technique in film making.
Well it ended with the Yanks having a little pointless go back at the japs before coming to a close. Naturally after all that had happened the film just had to finish with the cliche explanation commentry using a womans voice, very cheesy.
In summary:
1. Very stretched out love story that didnt work. 2. The Yanks getting a pasting by the Japs. 3. A very stretched and misplaced ending trying to make you feel like the Yanks did okay after all. 4. Very cheeseball and predictable end to the "Love triangle".
My rating: 3/10 for the middle bit, nothing for the rest.
Lesson learnt: Never waste such a great and memorable topic ever again. For half the price the story of Pearl Harbour could of been told more honestly, factually and with much much more feeling. Big bucks do not make a good film as shown here, but it is just such a pity that this chance was wasted. What I dont understand is that when all these movie business people sit around the table, well surely one of them must see that it is badly constructed, scripted and directed, but why is nothing said to stop them making this expensive mistake?
Top tip: Save your money and go and see something else!