C'est magnifique, c'est ne le guerre pas!

Rating: Null/10 (28 January 2003)

(Please excuse my French, it's probably wrong)

Roll up, roll up! See the cinematic spectacle of 2001! See the horrible
deaths of 2500 or so people commemorated by a film about two guys who
fly fast planes really fast. See them go ZOOOOOOOOM, see them go
WHIIIIZZZZ! See them reprise the 'flypast and debriefing' scenes from
Top Gun. Watch the beautiful love story unfold. See the true love two
people have for one another tested and broken when Kate Beckinsale
comes between them.

See a fine young actor reduced to playing Token Black Guy. Watch as he
fights to prove he's more than a Token Black Guy, even though he's
given so little to do that he ends up as nothing more than a Token
Black Guy (even though, unlike the two guys in the planes, Token Black
Guy actually existed).

Watch the awful bombing of a military target. Watch the heroic bombing
of a city. Watch Jon Voigt recreate Peter Sellars' unforgettable
character Dr. Strangelove.

Watch the whole reality of war, and the lives and deaths therein
trivialised to make a Big Dumb Action Movie that thinks it's some kind
of ghastly tribute to the American dead of December the 7th.

Or better still... don't!

On the other hand, if you want an unrealistic film with ponderously
paced romance, fighter planes zooming all over the place and nice
explosions, check this out. It's a lot of fun. Just don't take it
seriously - you'll only encourage them!