it makes me sad that this movie was ever made

Rating: 3/10 (21 August 2001)

Why God, Why?...Am I in Hell?...Is this some kind of punishment?...Is Jerry Bruckheimer actually the Devil?...Michael Bay his underlord?
When I first saw the trailer for Pearl Harbor I was actually looking forward to seeing this movie, but then those hellish words were shown...produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, but wait it gets worse, there were more bad words...directed by Michael Bay...it's true! You can't make this stuff up, it's too evil.
Walking out of the theater having actually payed U.S. currency to see Pearl Harbor I had the feeling that somebody had just hit me over the head repeatedly with a bat for three hours and two minutes.
There is not one redeeming quality to this movie...well yea there are some good special effects, but by then you've already tried to kill yourself in ways no human has ever thought of, so you don't really care about special effects.
OH YEA and there was that one surprise...you know the one I'm talking about...the tenth time the music changed and Ben Affleck leaned in for a kiss, I mean the first nine times I saw it coming, but the tenth time! WOW!!!!!! amazing cinematic genius.
I've thought it many times before, but now am sure of it: Jerry Bruckheimer was put on this earth to destroy movie making forever. He will not stop untill the art of film is thought of in the same light as dog feces, but hey i can't be that cruel, comparing a Jerry Bruckheimer film to feces would be an insult to feces everywhere.