Those are no pearls...

Rating: 1/10 (9 November 2009)

I was actually working part-time as a projectionist when this movie was released, and had to sit through 3 showings daily for four consecutive days. That's twelve Pearl Harbors, and astonishing 36 hours of incessant, mind-boggling, drab dialog, high-school amateur acting, atrocious plot, irritating musical chores and woefully happy endings. If you want to see where the blockbusters draw the line for too cheesy romance, too cheap patriotism, much too pointless violence and truly too long footage, don't watch this movie, since it's waaaaay past it. There are more worthy movies with Michael Dudikoff, I mean, at least he's got a funny name and a haircut to entertain you for two seconds.
It might be funny if you rented Pearl Harbor AND Team America and watched the two one after another, but otherwise... steer well off it. Stay sane.