You got to be kidding me

Rating: 1/10 (21 June 2001)

What completely disheartens me are the fond words people have for Pearl Harbor. This is a film that neither salutes the Veterans or entertains the audience. Filled with historical inaccuracies, this is is a film that tries to mold itself into a Titanic like picture to try to capitalize and capture some of the aforememtioned grosses. Never has a filmed based on an actual event in our history been so distorted in the presentations of it's facts. The film seems more interested in a rather awkward love triangle than what most people came to see, the bombing of Pearl Harbor. The characterizations of Doolittle, Halsey, and even FDR are misrepresented and falsehoods abound. As one who truly believes fiction holds no candle to history, it is stunning to believe that such an interesting event as the bombing of Pearl Harbor can be turned into a bland gargled three hour mess. Beckinsdale after escaping the horrifying acting in a thailand prison looks lost and confused and often uncomfortable. Affleck needs to spend more time with Kevin Smith to remind himself that when you sign on for a movie, you need to act and not just show up. Alec Baldwin needs to start watching movies with great actors such as Robert DeNiro to prove that there is no need to completely go over the top when it comes to his performances and that being subtle and diminutive is a gift that actors possess but hey at least he is the most talented of the Baldwin brothers, which isn't saying much. And to our adrenaline pumping combo of Bruckheimer and Bay, you two will never be Cameron and shouldn't aspire to be. Find yourself an editor or maybe some modesty before you make your next film. Your direction is not larger than life and shouldn't be. With the amazing amount of omitted facts you left out it is amazing you had time to dramatize history and write your own. What I am truly afraid of is that students will embrace this film as some form of history which in fact it is just a failed attempt at trying to establish some form of credentials in Hollywood with their own three hour epic. I gave this film a 1 and it deserves a one. In fact I want the three hours of my life I wasted. I could have done something productive with my life instead of sitting in a dark movie theater looking at my watch every five minutes hoping and praying that something interesting happens.