I didn't like it either

Rating: Null/10 (1 June 2001)

I realize that if you're reading this, you've either seen Pearl Harbor or plan on seeing it. And I can't really stop you, so I'm not going to try. I'm going to give you food for thought, maybe you'll ponder it over during the 3 hour tour-de-Bay/Bruckheimer epic, or while you're writing death threats to all of us that didn't like the film.
Was this movie made with a PG-13 rating because A) with minimal gore and language, the makers could more accurately depict the horrific attack, or B) a lower rating means higher box office gross?
Were the hospital scenes shot with soft-focus lenses A) for artistic purposes or B) because a hard focus would be too realistic, thus giving the film an R-rating, thus decreasing its box office gross?
Was the historical tragedy used as a backdrop for a love triangle because A) thats the story director Michael Bay just had to tell at $145 million line of credit or B) Titanic did the same thing and made about a half billion.

I can't do much to slam on the films leads. At least not in the clever questionnaire style. I enjoyed Ben Affleck's character about as much as I did in Reindeer Games. Up until now, I thought Josh Hartnet had a promising career. And Kake who? Excuse me, wasn't there another British Kate forcing out an American accent in that other boat-sinking spectacle of a movie? Hm?
The makers of this should have just dropped the other shoe and hired James Cameron as a screenwriter. At least his scripts have integrity.
I know Randal Wallace, who DID write this script, had help developing the shotty dialogue, so I don't blame him for the "I'll never look at another sunset without thinking of you" and so on. I'm sure these slappy dappy lines SOUND good when you're in ninth grade, but they crash faster than shot down Japanese fighters when put on the screen.
I do blame Wallace for the ludicrous situations he places his characters in. Air Force trainers and trainees do NOT play chicken right infront of their commanding officers. The two pilots that flew in the attack on Pearl Harbor were NOT in the Doolittle Raid.
By the way, the raid had about a twenty minute build up and 30 second payoff, and even for slick summer action flicks, there's gotta be a bigger ending.
I'm not saying it was a bad movie (although it was) I'm just pointing out that it's not a film based on real people or real situations. At the heart of this picture, there's only two very distinct sounds. The first is Bay and Bruckheimer high-fiving each other, which translates to KA-CHING to the Disney company. The second is that flushing sound you hear when you realize your $8 are really gone.