A war movie without the war

Rating: 2/10 (6 April 2007)

I didn't hate "Pearl Harbor" because it starred Ben Affleck, I didn't hate "Pearl Harbor" because it starred Josh Hartnet or because it was directed by Michael Bay or because it was historically inaccurate. I hated it because it was an insult to all these people who've fought and died during the war. Michael Bay had turned this historical event into a summer blockbuster, a date movie, a kiddie movie. It is so horribly dumbed-down that it no longer is a story about the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor an event that plays crucial role on the outcome of the war no no. Bay's struck of genius comes stronger than a Hitchcockian plot-twist, he throws in a love story in it. Not confined with just that, he makes it the central aspect of the entire movie. So yeah I guess you could say the attack itself was an added "bonus" to the oh so thrilling romance that occupies two and a half hours of the whole thing.
How could you do this wrong? "Saving Private Ryan"'s success opened many doorways and practically reinvented the war movie genre. Demonstrating proper use of effects that add to the overall experience. Spielberg had an eye for detail, he didn't want to discard anything he wanted to show war in it's pure form, in all it's chaos, all it's gory detail. And he did. An attack on the U.S. fleet by Japanese bombers could have been done in the same fashion and skill, but when you get a director whose previous work includes "Bad Boys" I guess you can't really expect that much. Indeed, the small fragment of this overlong, boring, melodramatic, sleep-inducing movie that actually deals with the attack is done completely wrong. Bay directs it like an extended action sequence from "Bad Boys", he doesn't take his time in showing the effects of war on people or showing the darker parts of the bombing (namely blood, gore) no, all he cares is getting that PG-13 rating so that more kiddies will go see it. The scene does not end with that oh no, no it ends when our great action heroes save the day by practically destroying half the Japanese air forces. A lot of explosions and people dying does not make a war, but what does Bay care about he is here to make money. No wonder war-vets left this thing half-way through, it is a disgrace.
But let's talk about acting. Yeah let's. Here we have an all star cast of overrated actors and yeah, it's bad real bad. Keanu Reeves would have done better if he had starred in all roles. The romance dialogue is a petty copy of "Titanic"'s while the one concerning the war is filled with overly patriotic lines similar to something we might hear in a John Wayne featurette about the Vietnam war (and by that I do mean the likes of "Green Berets"). Bay could have hired someone directly from the streets and it wouldn't have made a difference, hell he could have even saved some money. But I guess you need the big names to draw in the crowds and since Bay was looking to make lot's of cash he made the right choice.
The outcome of all that was no surprise. Money poured in like wild, all the kiddies were coming in to see their favorite actors, watch lots of stuff blow up and laugh at the silly dialogue. While the people to which this should have been dedicated to were left speechless. What better way to show your respect to those who fought for your country, than to turn the death of their comrades into entertainment.
Thank you Michael Bay for you have truly outdone yourself with this insulting movie.