Affleck, you are great

Rating: 4/10 (28 April 2003)

Not since Boiler Room has Ben Affleck put in a comedic performance like the one in Pearl Harbor. The absurd accent, the obscene facial expressions, the "I'll attempt to survive the attack by moving to the next target" approach; Affleck is wonderful. I truly cannot wait until his movies with J-Lo are released, I will be amongst the first in line to see the new breed of American comedy. On to the feature...
Pearl Harbor is, well we all know what it is truly about, though the film is more about a bunch of Japanease guys, who while rocking these sweet headbands like they are extras in Karate Kid, attempt to kill Cuba Gooding Jr, which is an admirable goal. Obviously they can't get to Cuba because he is a cook looking for respect. Why they made Cuba a cook when he wanted to join the Navy and fight I have no idea. I thought one of the beefs with our militia is that we put black dudes on the front line and used them as cannon fodder, I guess back in 1941 we attempted to protect them from any potential danger by making valuable commodities like Cuba Gooding jr. cooks. What were his credentials for becoming a cook? Did he have any training? They don't just make any old guy the cook, especially one who in theory could fight, if he wasn't such a huge wus. Once again, where was star of Wild and Crazy Kids, Omar Gooding? He is clearly the more talented of the Goodings, whie we are at it we might as well replace Affleck with Donnie Jeffcoat and Hartnett with Annett Chavez. I think that would have added a nice twist to the movie. Anyway, I watched the battle scene, which had some impressive effects paired with delightful homor by Gooding and Affleck. I also saw this part where Cuba boxes some guy and then goes to the hospital complaining how he's just a cook. If only they had a cameo by Fuzzy Zoeller complaining to Cuba Gooding while on line at the mess hall about the constant serving of fried chicken and cornbread, that would have been the perfect compliment to Affleck's brilliance. All in all I'd say don't see this movie, cause it sucks. However, if you have an utterly useless life or a few hours to spare, perhaps while you are on copious amounts of morphine, I'd throw it on for a good laugh or two.