Holy Stinking Garbage Heap, Batman!

Rating: 1/10 (27 May 2001)

This movie was pure garbage. Not only does it play with history for mere entertainment (representing the deaths of thousands of people for their selfish cause) but it doesn't even do it well. I feel like these screenwriters Michael Bay drags up are playing mad-libs with these scripts. "Ok, this is where Alec Baldwin needs to say something to prove how tough he is, cause he's experienced and old." Or, "Now the president wouldn't say anything unimportant, and neither would Jon Voight, so how do we make him look stoic and heroic when accepting a flower from his servant?" This movie just represents a scary trend in Hollywood: the relying on visual affects to make up for a lack of creativity of plot and characters. I mean, the average American will miss out on quality, historically accurate movie experiences and just swallow this garbage cause it looks cool. There's just no responsibility for someone with a big budget. I just hope Michael Bay is proud of himself. Wait, no I don't. Don't see this movie unless you want to see neat-o visuals. It's just not worth the three hours of confusing multiple climaxes loosely based around a cheesy love story with pregnancies and death and maybe even a long lost, eye-patched twin brother! That last part doesn't happen, but I wish it did, so I could hate this movie more. Good thing it's impossible for me to hate this movie more then, huh? Man alive!