Still wouldn't be worth the ticket price, even if it had cost a nickel

Rating: 3/10 (25 June 2001)

Pearl Harbor is a film that I wouldn't even subject to my worst enemy as a form of revenge(I have never been a proponent of cruel and unusual punishment). Hmm, where do I begin............ah yes: The dialogue was laughably trite, the cast overacted with the zeal usually expected only from an impersonator of William Shatner, the love plot was truly pointless (another sickening attempt by Jerry Bruckheimer to trick less informed moviegoers into thinking that it is not only an action film, but a good romance as well), and the plot was filled with inexcusable historical inaccuracies (it is beyond my comprehension as to how the part where FDR walks could survive on the cutting room floor, seeing as to the fact that he had been crippled by polio for the previous 25 years). It is a truly sad thing when film is cheapened as an art form. It is a travesty when filmmakers knowingly release garbage targeted towards the less educated portion of population, allowing normally insufficient acting to be overshadowed by BIG EXPLOSIONS. SO WHAT. I must admit, the attack scenes of the film were truly impressive from an visceral and technical standpoint. SUCH A SHAME THAT I HAD TO BE SUBJECTED TO SUCH TRIPE FOR THE PREVIOUS HOUR, AS WELL AS THE HOUR AFTERWARDS. Also, is it just me, or is it hard to believe that 90 percent of soldiers and almost all nurses are truly attractive people (If only that were how it is in real life, but it isn't). Another blunder is the complete and utter dearth of hawaiian natives in Pearl Harbor. In fact, I don't remember seeing one. However, it seems foolish to draw attention to such miniscule details when nearly every other part of this film is greatly flawed.
In summation, good films are hard to find and therefore, attention should be payed to them, instead of to films like this one. Memento is a far superior film, in a perfect world people would choose to see that instead of this. Unfortunately, this film is destined to manipulate millions of mindless viewers, and I am sure that I will get angry responses by a few of them for this review. But if the truth illustrated in this review reaches even one filmgoer, then I feel that I have not written in vain.