DISNEY'S ROMANTIC EPIC

Rating: Null/10 (25 June 2001)

Disney does it again! Desperate to pull in the teenage market to up the all mighty dollar (and share stake, no doubt), it churns out the romantic epic of 2001 (and probably the decade) PEARL HARBOR!
There is plenty to keep the teenage girls happy: Rafe and Danny, two handsomely rugged fly boys are our All American Heroes. They have been best friends since boyhood and always dreamed of being fighter pilots! Best of all is the beautiful romantic triangle that blooms between our two handsome heroes and the gorgeous military nurse Evelyn.
For the teenage boys: Play Station game-like rendering of tons and tons of C.G.I stuff blowing up! Digitally-created WWII planes flying and fighting like the X-Wing fighters in Star Wars. Radically cool dog-fights between the evil Jap Imperial Tie Fighters and our Goody Goody 'Rebel' pilots Rafe and handsome Danny.
For the Patriots: Loads of Yankee flag waving and tearful patriotic speeches to fire up the emotions of the American people from President Roosevelt himself. (One of the corniest scenes in this flick is also dedicated to him!)
WARNING! A LINE OF SMALL SPOILERS HAS APPEARED ON THE HORIZON!
Best line in this beautiful Disney Romance: "Even though I love Danny with my whole heart, whenever I see a sunset I'll always think of you." GOOOOO Disney!
Best Romantic Scene: The Parachute hangar. Oh, how Romantic! How Beautiful! Wonderful musical score! (The audience is moved to tears) Oh, Danny, you're my Dream Boat!
Best Blown-up-stuff scene: The cook Dorie cradles his dying commander in his arms. Oh, yes, and C.G.I explosions. Lots and lots of them.
For Audiences over the age of 17: Cliche after cliche after cliche ad nauseum. Here are some Cool Disney Cliches: The Bad Guys are always evil and ugly (Dinosaur) and the Good Guys are always pure and handsome (just about every Disney flick) Evil music always accompany the Bad Guys while heart-wrenching orchestral numbers are gifted to the Good Guys. America is Always the Good Guy. Every other country is the Bad Guy. GOOOOO DISNEY!!!
CONCLUSION: Dear Disney Chief Executives: Stick to making Cartoons.