I'm so glad I saw this movie...

Rating: 1/10 (28 May 2002)

because now I know just how bad Typical Hollywood Shlock can get.
This is truly the WORST movie I've ever had the displeasure of experiencing. The story was just awful, full of transparent characters and the dialogue was laughable. At one point, Cuba Gooding's character is asked, after a boxing match, by Beckinsale's character, "Why do you need your fists to get respect?". What?? Nobody talked like that in 1942; nobody talks like that NOW! Only in paragons of affected melodrama like this can be found flimsy, feeble self-serving lines like that.
The acting was likewise deplorable. I couldn't muster a modicum of concern for any of the characters. I swear, by the time the island was actually attacked (which seemed an eternity in itself), I was actually rooting for the Japanese.
Which brings me to the direction. I don't know that I can fault the actors as much as Michael Bay, the director and chief architect of this crap. I hope he never gets another Hollywood job again; his work was THAT awful. Instead of actually using a STORY, he just tries to convey a sense of motion by using flashy imagery, perhaps hoping we won't notice the lack of cohesive story. Sorry, Mikey; didn't work.
It's unfortunate that in this, and other cases, Hollywood knows exactly what sells. Put the aforementioned flashy imagery together with pretty people and lots of explosions and you've got yourself a hit. As long as the barely verbal, easily impressed public are wowed by this fetid, steaming pile of dung, Hollywood will keep churning out drivel that appeals to the lowest common denominator that make up the viewing public. God help us all.
As I said, I'm happy I saw this movie, it makes me appreciate the intellectual superiority of The Three Stooges so much more.