A disappointment on every scale.

Rating: 5/10 (24 August 2001)

'Pearl Harbor' is a HUGE let down. In almost every magazine and newspaper that I have seen this film advertised, it has been categorised as a 'War Film With Romance'. I'm sorry, but this film is NOT about War, and to say that it is, makes a mockery of the likes of Full Metal Jacket, Apocalypse Now and, more recently Saving Private Ryan.
First of all, I find it difficult to become engrossed in films that use REAL Historic events as a backdrop for a little cheesy romance. Titanic used the amazing story of the ship itself, and took every chance they could to feed on the audiences emotions. But people cried at the wrong time!! Like when Jack died, instead of when the rescue ship was wading through the corpses of young and old. Some people would argue that Saving Private Ryan did the same. Used the 'one man is worth a million' policy to underline how loyal the Americans can be. But at least Saving Private Ryan looked real. At least there was swearing, and smoking and blood and a distinct lack of eyeliner and concealer, which is more than I can say for Pearl Harbor!
If they're going to make a movie about War, and add a little tacky romance to it, then they at least need to make the movie LOOK real. It was the Second World War okay? Yet nobody smoked (a travesty and historical flaw in itself), the worst curse was 'Hell' or 'Dang', and even in the bombing sequence, there was no blood or chaos. Something that Saving Private Ryan and even Platoon were credited for. Add to that the fact that everyone looked like they'd just shot a cover story for 'The Face' magazine, (apart from Ewen Bremner, who puts in the only good performance of the whole movie) and you have a recipe for unrealistic disaster.
Even as a straight romance movie this flounders. Danny (Josh Hartnett, looking more and more like leading man material with every movie) and Rafe (Affleck, attempting to be A.J. from Armageddon, only in the 1940s) have been buddies since they were children. They've been through thick and thin, they even join the Airforce together. One day Affleck decides that he will join a renowned squadron, based in Britain (depicted as War torn and stiff as a broom handle) and leave his best friend and.....you guessed it, new love behind.
Rafe leaves because it's his 'duty'!! And that's where the fun starts, because his best buddy Danny decides to move in on the woman that Rafe loves. A pretty nurse called Evelyn (played as well as possible with the script in question by Kate Beckinsale).
Luckily for Danny however, he and Evelyn get a message telling them that Rafe has died in heroic and mysterious circumstances. So, instead of mourning him and showing honest remorse for their actions. They have a little drink, a bit of a cry and get on with their lives. AS IF!!!

The rest is just as stupid **SPOILER APPROACHING** Affleck returns to find that Danny and Evelyn have been getting up to some rude little duties (including a sex in a parachute scene that is a tragic mixture of the Top Gun and the Titanic love scene). As you can imagine, Rafe is none too pleased, but after a day or so, they have a beer and all is forgiven!! And anyway, Rafe gets his own back, because Danny dies and Rafe and Evelyn spend their lives happily ever after.....
This is of course after Pearl Harbor gets bombed. And that is the only part of the movie that deserves any kind of rating. The bombing sequence is exactly as I imagined it. Rapid editing, brilliantly realised CGI planes, boats and sailors. Shattering sound and a mass of colour on screen. It is, without doubt a piece of art all on it's own. It's just a shame however, that there's not much 'reality' in the actual action. I mean there's a few cries of anguish, but it lacks brutality (for the sake of a 12 rating) and for some reason has Cuba Gooding Jr. (tragically forced to play the token Affro-American)running around trying to save everyone, without getting bombed himself.
After the bombing sequence, we get all the American patriotism stuff, and the revenge attack on Japan.**SPOILER** And as I said earlier, Danny dies, leaving Rafe and Evelyn to bring up a family of their own somewhere in the deep South!!
I guess I have the same problem with the romance as I did with Titanic, and that is that it distracts you from the REAL issues. And that is that lots of real people died needlessly in the War, so why would I rather focus on three badly scripted characters in an almost incestuous love triangle?
And I guess I have the same problem with the action as I did with U-571. From a distance it all looks splendid. Rattling gunfire, big yellowy orange explosions. Loud noise and some very, very tasty CGI. But once you really get in there it lacks realism and brutality. I'm not twisted, I' just like to actually become absorbed in how horrible that must have been. And with everyone shouting things as tame as 'Damnit' or 'Sonofabitch', I can't really sympathise.
In short then, Pearl Harbor is terrible. That is unless you like badly scripted romance films that use war as a backdrop!! If you're an avid cinema goer, then watch it. If not, rent something good. Like Hamburger Hill or The Thin Red Line.
Pearl Harbor is good for one thing, and one thing only. And that is to show that CGI is developing at an astonishing rate, but even THAT bombing sequence isn't worth waiting an hour and forty minutes for. Not so much a 'popcorn munching must', as a 'a popcorn regurgitating rabble'.