A typical Disney/Bruckheimer/Bay action flick

Rating: 2/10 (26 August 2006)

What is a Disney/Bruckheimer/Bay action flick? It is heavy on special effects; includes a dopey love story; lacks historical accuracy and/or scientific reality; and has awful acting (mostly by Ben Affleck), writing, and character development. "Armageddon" is the most obvious example; "Pearl Harbor" is another.
The first hour-plus of "Pearl Harbor" is the dopey love triangle. Rafe McCawley (Affleck) goes to "downtown London" (no one says downtown -- it's known as Central London) to serve in the RAF as a fighter pilot. I don't know how, in one night, he was able to train to the point where he can not only fly a completely different aircraft, but shoot down a German bomber. Believing he is killed in action, his best friend Danny Walker (Josh Hartnett) comforts--and hooks with--his girlfriend Evelyn Johnson (Kate Beckinsale). The two men fight on the night of December 6th, and of course by the time the bombing starts they're best friends again.
The attack on Pearl Harbor: The action sequences were well directed and choreographed, but they too were loaded with historical mistakes for the sake of dramatic license. One thing done right was Dory Miller (Cuba Gooding, Jr.), the cook who shot down an enemy plane and was later awarded the Navy Cross. But I doubt the real Dory Miller jumped and hollered when he did it.
Then they include a scene or two with the Japanese fleet, which I guess is an attempt to give us both sides of the story, or to give the audience an enemy to hate. But Admiral Yamamoto was portrayed wrongly: he wasn't gung-ho about attacking Pearl Harbor, he lamented the decision.
The movie could have ended with Roosevelt's (Jon Voight) address to Congress -- and even *that* had mistakes in it -- but it dragged on for another hour with Dolittle's Raid over Tokyo. James Doolittle is played poorly by anti-war mouthpiece Alec Baldwin, who acts like a cheerleader rather than a military leader. And all of the sudden, Walker and McKawley are bomber pilots?
Now, contrast this with 1970's "Tora! Tora! Tora!" which is practically a history lesson disguised as a feature film; or even 1953's "From Here To Eternity," a smartly written and well acted love story set in November of 1941. "Pearl Harbor" tries to be both, but it fails miserably.