Scariest movie ever? Not even close......

Rating: 1/10 (3 February 2010)

It was with baited breath that I awaited the release of 'Paranormal Activity'. I had chanced upon the trailer online, and I had to agree that it did indeed look scary. 'The Blair Witch Project' had really scared me when that was released, and while there were obvious similarities to be drawn (documentary style, hand held camera etc) I was glad to see a horror film that was not a sequel or a watered down remake of a Japanese film. How disappointed I was though, when instead I was presented with an attempt at the horror genre that missed on nearly all counts.
I think the main problem with the film is that the characters are so irritating. Micah is so smug and arrogant that i almost feel sorry for his vacuous girlfriend. I have no problem with filmmakers using unheard of actors, in fact it can sometimes be a breath of fresh air, SOMETIMES. Forgive me for comparisons to the 'Blair Witch', but they were good actors, and genuinely terrified at their situation. In 'Paranormal' it never gets believable because they never seem really scared, which is a big deal in a film that documents such a terrifying situation.
The special effects are well done, although nothing that Yvette and Karl couldn't muster on Most Haunted and there aren't enough of them. The whole premise of the film is that a couple capture 'paranormal activity' on camera, so where was it all then? Most of the film is made up of the (not so) happy couple's deteriorating relationship, (ok, i appreciate that the 'demonic force' is emotionally testing them to feed off the negative energy, but really, Jeremy Kyle is scarier, and better acted). And besides, can anybody tell me what is supposed to be scary about watching a woman rocking backwards and forwards for the last 10 minutes of the film? You may detect an amount of vitriol in this review, but that is only because I feel conned. I have been a fan of horror films since I was way too young to be watching them and have recently become disillusioned with genre that is content to ruin classic films with rubbish remakes for the sake of making money. This film could have been so much better, I honestly think they decided to be clever to compensate for the low budget, but ended up over thinking just about every aspect of this film, and the result seems bloated and clichéd, and shame on Mr. Spielberg for playing along with the hype too.
Ultimately, people have no business calling themselves horror fans if they find this remotely scary, not only that, but I would recommend they watch 'REC' instead for an example of how low budget horror can be done. It seems that at the moment, everything Hollywood touches turns to crap. I am going to stick to world cinema for really inventive and truly terrifying films for the time being.