Garbage

Rating: 3/10 (17 December 2007)

While every person I know who has seen the movie professed their deep and passionate love for the film, apprehension did come over me as I gazed at the DVD cover and saw, "From the director of BLADE II and HELLBOY" in text placed right above the title. My apprehension was not misplaced, I was bored to tears and became increasingly restless as the movie plodded on. Surely, my time could have been invested more fruitfully elsewhere. Pan's Labyrinth was a waste of my time, and in my opinion a poorly made movie.
It really is odd that Pan's Labyrinth was advertised as a fairy tale (or even as a "fairy tale for adults"). Instead, it is a movie with a girl who is obsessed with fairy tales, but not a "fairy tale". Part of the criteria for fairy tales is that they happen outside of time ("once upon a time"), not actual historical times. As well as that they operate outside of a 100% concrete location (they instead happen in non-existent lands where fantastic things can take place). Pan's Labyrinth happens in 1944 and in Spain. Trust me, it is in no way a fairy tale, look up the definition of fairy tale and you'll see that Pan's Labyrinth has nothing do with them whatsoever.
The directing in Pan's Labyrinth leaves something to be desired, while it is not atrocious, Guillermo Del Toro comes off as lazy, semi-incompetent, and complacent. The 180-degree rule is broken about a handful of times over the course of Pan's Labyrinth seemingly out of laziness. While the rule can be broken by directors, such as it was done by Stanley Kubrick, to purposely disorient the viewerdisorientation, that is never the intent of Pan's Labyrinth (which makes every attempt to effortlessly fuse fantasy and reality together, or so Guillermo Del Toro claimed). Instead when the rule is broken in Pan's Labyrinth, one can only assume it is a mistake made by Guillermo Del Toro. Guillermo Del Toro is unable to breathe life into the characters that populate Pan's Labyrinth; instead though his complacent directing, all of the characters are two-dimensional, unrelatable, and fail to inspire any concern from the viewer.
The editing is annoying in Pan's Labyrinth (at first, only subtly, but as the film progresses, the repeated annoyances become antagonizing). The film is peppered liberally with unnecessary and misplaced dissolves that disrupt the flow of the editing, working against the movie (whenever a dolly-shot is used in Pan's Labyrinth-you can bet that there will be an unnecessary dissolve somewhere in the length of the dolly-shot... uh, why?). Match cuts made within Pan's Labyrinth feel gimmicky and self-satisfied. One of the best examples is during a montage that repeatedly cuts back between Ofelia lost inside her fantasies and her step-father leading a brigade of horsed soldiers as they ascend a forested hill, match cuts are made as the trunks of trees envelop the frame and become walls that surround Ofelia, and as the camera continues to pan right, the match cut is made again and again (beating the viewer over the head).
The script is dull for the film and the characters within it as well. But not only are the characters in Pan's Labyrinth flat, dull, and unlikable-the protagonist's intelligence is irksomely inconsistent. Ofelia constantly demonstrates her lack of intelligence (or possession of even an inkling of common sense) over the course of the film, yet conveniently is able to figure out that the character of Mercedes is working with the Spanish resistance (also, Ofelia's sudden knowledge of the existence of resistance fighters in the woods that she only recently arrived in is left unexplained... Seriously, the girl is as dumb as a rock, how did she figure those two things out?).
***START OF POSSIBLE SPOILER***
Something that comes to mind when recollecting on the poor script, is the lack of any motivation for Ofelia eating the forbidden grapes of the Pale Man (instead, she gulps down two grapes knowing full well the warnings of death made by the Faun). Previously in the movie, Ofelia was sent to bed without dinner, but that was several nights previous in the course of the time line within the movie. If only the events were arranged to happen in the same night, Ofelia's greedy impulsiveness would actually make sense-instead of being motivationally random and merely convenient for there to be a brief scene of tension with the Pale Man chasing Ofelia.
***END OF POSSIBLE SPOILER***
Bottom line: Pan's Labyrinth sucks. If you thought it was a good movie, you desperately need to watch some films of higher quality.