How do people NOT find this typical?

Rating: 4/10 (31 August 2008)

Sometimes I wonder if critics even notice anything except the cinematography. I mean, I think I could film someone killing a guinea pig, but if it were filmed with a beautiful camera the critics would love it. Because other than nice camera-work, this movie has nothing going for it. And I mean NOTHING.
First, I'll start with the boring factor. This has to be one of the most boring movies I've ever seen: no doubt at all. DO NOT think this is a fantasy movie like Lord of the Rings mixed with Saw-like violence. There are literally only 4 fantasy scenes, and each last maybe 10 minutes tops. The rest of the movie is nothing but boring conversation.
Secondly, I was told by countless people this movie was violent. And trust me when I say this: if you've played any T-rated video game, you've seen more violence in 5 minutes than there is in this entire movie put together. It did not even earn its R-rating, much less be considered a "hard R" as I was told. Also, the violence is NOT in the fantasy sequences, it's in the war sequences . . . which made it seem like a toned down (but darker) Saving Private Ryan. And that's not a good thing.
Third, the cliché factor. It is falsely called an "original" movie by critics. I'm sorry, but there is nothing to see here that you haven't seen in PG-rated movies like The Chronicles of Narnia or E-rated games like Zelda. The ending was such a cliché I wanted to slam my fist into the TV because I was so disappointed.
So why do I give this movie a 2 and not 0? Because as much as I hated the movie itself, I agree strongly with the idea behind it: fairy tales are bloody, dark, and for adults as well as children. Guillermo Del Toro failed miserably with this movie, but with his ideology, his skill, and his memories of a traumatized past, I know in the future he can make something that is truly stellar.
But don't expect this to be that movie. Try again, Guillermo.
4/10