A film of little to no substance.

Rating: 4/10 (18 July 2012)

Critics and audiences would be eager to tell you that Guillermo Del Toro's Fantasy/War drama "Pan's Labyrinth" is one of the best modern fairy tales since (Insert Tim Burton flick here). But make sure to ignore these claims, for they would be based on lies. Further examination reveals that "Pan's Labyrinth" is in fact as inartistic and intellectually spurious as they come. This film was made by a Grad A PHONY, and here's why.
Fantasy scenes are annoyingly superfluous, having little to no connection to the war happening around her (which is, of course, presented in completely black and white terms with the honourable reds fighting off the despicable fascists). We are expected to believe that Ophelia created this world around her to escape from the harsh reality of war, but in the end it is clear that the ambiguity is simply a redundant 'open ending' to the story that leaves the filmmakers thinking they were oh so smart to allow the audience to see it one way or the other. The attempt to weave together two threads of graphic violence and childlike fairytale comes across as amateurish. Why does one want to watch something that is presented as a fairy tale (it doesn't matter that it's a dark one, so was Alice in Wonderland) when it feels like a mere afterthought to the human drama that is unfolding? The film's attempt to mesh these together by including horror elements in the fairy tale parts is cheap popcorn schlock. A predictable monster with a wobbly walk, a giant toad (creative), and a tree root. Big whoop.
I found Del Toro's attempts to blend fantasy and reality to be quite ham fisted and lazy. There was practically a total of three fantastical things in this movie, and none of them were that creative or imaginative, except for the baby eating demon with hands for eyes. But even that was just a ridiculous premise and essentially served no other purpose other than to look strange. All of the 'tasks' that Ofelia goes through in no way challenge her character or reveal any insight into the conflict of the film. There are no riddles, no real challenges, just basically follow some simple directions and everything just happens magically and for no discernible reason. Not to mention the connection between the 'real' world and the fantasy land is annoyingly superfluous, and at worst, entirely pointless.
The moral of the film should have been that the fear of the imagination/fairytale is far less reprehensible than the evil of man. Unfortunately, the battlefield scenes and Captain Vidal are completely one note. One half on the battlefield, one half in fantasy land, neither truly working. Both sides of this film are half baked. He should have concentrated on one aspect. If there is one thing Guillermo really revels in, it is the graphic violence that sadistically blunts any point the film could have made, from the over-the-top demolition of a man's face with a wine bottle, the execution of a child, to the melodramatic way everyone hangs in the air for 2 seconds after having their brains blown out before dropping dead.
The film paints its depiction of evil in broad strokes of black and white, particularly with the one dimensional character of Captain Vidal. Of course, the honourable Republicans are completely valiant and noble. It is laughably one-sided. There is really no point of connection between the two universes, as they share little poetic relationship between one another. Del Toro should either have made a war drama, or a child's fantasy. The result at his poor attempt to combine the two was basically him trying to have his cake and eat it too.
Eventually, the gratuitous gore and paper thin characterizations just made the film a chore to sit through. I'd rather watch Spirit of the Beehive than sit through PL again.
If this film wasn't in Spanish, we wouldn't think it was so artsy.