The world needs more people like captain Vidal.

Rating: 1/10 (29 June 2008)

I saw this movie about a week ago. I expected a goth-girl fantasy-fest with monochromatic visuals and I got....a goth-girl fantasy fest with monochromatic visuals and a Lot of brute violence! Whoopee, Inner-ruffian satisfied!
Like I said the visuals are really girly; think if Allen Lee and Tim Burton were lesbian lovers. Pan is like a Smurf version of Tim Curry's "Darkness" who acts like Dennis Hopper in "Apocalypse Now" and makes just as much sense and the most frightening monster (of the three you get, that's a lot, isn't it kids?) is a octogenarian old man who's eyes are in his palms. Seriously, I expected him to yell: "Ye young whippersnapper!" when Ophelia ate the grape and that the snail-like chase would end with him falling and breaking his hip.
Set design in this movie is simply fantastic; beautiful earth-tones and withered designs.
The CGI is a bit unconvincing at times, the praying mantis (or whatever) moved like one of those government projects where they administer caffeine and speed to insects for what ever reason, but that's only a small adverse point in this goth-girly Fantasy-fest.
But the best part of the movie was of course captain Vidal. I love that guy! When he smashes that bumpkin's nose in with a bottle and then that wonderful line follows like the catastrophe to the old comedy - when it is proved the hill-billies were speaking the truth - "Next time search them before you waste my time." Makes me applaud the cold neglect and harsh upbringing that create men like Vidal. His contemptible expression for life and people and his forced unfelt smiles are balm to my misanthropic heart... and the guy stitches up his own cheek, how awesome is that!
The ending was very sad though; Mercedes lived, unfortunately.
All in all, a very enjoyable movie. Enjoyable for all above 10 years of age. To be relished by men through the cruelties and human-right violations by Captain Vidal and the sappy fairy-princess story to be savored by girls, especially those who hoped there would someday be a black colored "My little Pony".
(Now lets watch the bottle scene again in slow-motion!)