Pseudo-indie, foreign Hollywood trash

Rating: 1/10 (29 January 2007)

This review may contain spoilers, though I won't go into full detail.
The good: the cinematography, especially in the outside/afternoon and fantasy settings.
That's about it, for me.
Most of my brutal analysis of this film arises from its clichéd scenes, dialogue, and structure. The movie is PERFECT in that it flawlessly accomplishes the Hollywood tell-all and hide-nothing; the pseudo-emotional and super-predictable storyline.
But, everyone has their opinions on what they like. I'm an extremist for originality and did not like it.
To be fair, here is my non-extremist critique of the film.
The movie is advertised as a fairy tale. Every poster, commercial and review emphasizes this. Yet, only about 20-25 minutes of the entire movie are fantasy scenes. The end, the frog, the cool eyes-in-hands guy, and the faun's place (trying to be vague...) are the only fantasy scenes in the movie. There are a few mixed scenes, but those are predominantly real-life.
The movie is 80% war story. The advertised fantasy is only a sub-plot of an overly-graphic (Saving Private Ryan type) movie. And really it is. It's not that the switch from peaceful to bloody is too shocking, it just seems irrelevant and 'just-for-shock-value'- not important to the film.
BIGGER SPOILERS BELOW: Two big clichés in the movie that killed me were the 1) unkillable bad-guy, 2)The complete obliviousness of Ofelia to the monster. I mean, in almost every movie you see someone, somehow, 'doesn't hear a monster like 10 feet behind them even though everyone is pointing and yelling.
There are plenty more, but that should be left for the forums.
--------- For the summary, then, if you enjoy most movies you see at the theater, this movie will blow you away with goodness. If you're into more artistic, less-self explanatory films, then don't see it.