SPOILER! Pan's Gore Fest/Over-hyped piece of bloody mess

Rating: 1/10 (4 February 2007)

Why is it that the complete and total dog turd movies get all the raves? This is no different. If I had wanted to see a slasher flick, I would have gone to one. Unknowingly, I went to this one instead. Sadly, many have been tricked, scammed and lied to over this turd!!!!!! When you walk out of the theater, you'll feel as though you personally were tortured and flayed. Went Saturday night with the hubby and I was horrified, nauseous, angry and so awfully, incredibly disappointed. I kept wondering if I had seen the same "wonderful" movie others raved about! I WANTED to like this movie, the premise SOUNDS good. It could have been wonderful if some true imagination had been used. But the actual movie is so not good! The title of this movie should have been "Spanish Torture" or "The Captain's an A-hole!" I realize that the setting is WWII Spain and therefore the on-going horrors are not nice, but HOW LONG really does the movie need to bang us over the head with this concept??! The audience quickly learns that the Captain is a total heartless douchebag, so there's no need to keep proving it! But endlessly, they do. He kills, tortures, turns just about everyone around him into pulps of blood! They never spend enough time on this fantasy-land the small girl escapes to. For every two minutes of Labyrinth time, you get to suffer through yet another 25 minutes of the Captain's brutality! The violence/gore was persistent. Being a person who does NOT like blood and gore, this movie proved too much for my senses, much too graphic. Constantly, I was hiding my face from said gruesomeness. Every time they showed the Captain, I became nervous over what cruelty he would do next! Also this fantasy-land is not believable as something this girl would escape too. The creatures there were much too scary. A barfing frog, a monster that eats fairies head first, and the demonic faun are just too much! Do everyone you know a favor and DO NOT recommend this awful bloody mess to anyone! Save your time and money.