Deadly Dull, Deadly Stupid

Rating: 3/10 (23 May 2010)

Filmed well, but darkly, Pan's Labyrinth is a nonsensical tale of a little girl's adventures through a fantasy world of grotesque creatures and places as she escapes the equally grotesque reality of her worldly situation. Ofelia is step-daughter to a sadistic captain of the guards of an area of Franco's Spain still under guerrilla threat of the residual partisan opposition. The fantasy elements of the movie are pointless and shockingly boring. They are full of unexplained sickening creatures, insects, fairies, and FX hamming.
The stupid insurrection fleshes out scenes of the real world. But the picture is reasonably interesting when the Captain is pursuing his cruel regime and investigations. A servant and some others are sympathizers with the Resistance while working in the Captain's own household. Ofelia's pregnant mother is carrying the Captain's child. The Captain himself is compelling and is clearly no coward. The movie is at it's meager best when he is on screen.
Why is the insurrection 'stupid'? Well, we know, of course, that the Franco regime survived and the insurrection did not. So, we cannot hope to see the rebels prevailing in the long run. This makes their cause and their actions meaningless.
The movie commits the cardinal sin that a movie can commit: the death of a child by violence. Try though they might to dress that up with a scene of Ofelia's reunification with her (by that time dead) mother and natural father in the hereafter, the fact remains that this child has been killed.
The movie is well-shot and well-acted. It is relentlessly dark and depressing. And worst of all, it makes no sense whatsoever. Nor is it interesting. Despite all the fantasy and harsh reality, this is basically an extremely overlong and boring movie. A true waste of two hours.