Stupid

Rating: 1/10 (29 December 2013)

First I will say this. Guillermo Del Toro is one of my top 5 movie directors. I own Blade 2, Hellboy 1 and 2, Pans Labyrinth, The orphanage and so on. I was really looking forward to this movie for over a year and was wishing it would deliver but all it did was fail. EPICALLY. The score I gave were for visuals. Whoever says this movie is great they are the reason movies keep getting made. I left the movie theater angry. This has to be the worst movie written and edited of all time. How would anyone release this $200 million dollar cluster fudge.
Writing is the key to success. The plot of the movie is that a crack opens that port's monsters from another dimension to our world. So its one crack. So answer this why didn't they try to nuke the thing from the beginning to see if it fails before creating the jaegars and finding out at the end that nuking it will fail. Then after creating the Jaegars which were like 30 of them. Why not have them on standby near the stupid crack. The reason being its proved that only one appears at a time. They track them as they appear. Correct. Imagine how much repair they will save if all 30 ganged this one Kaiju as he was entering our world. Why the hell would you split up the Jaegars around the world if its only one crack. Even if they decide to send 10 kaijus they will still fail. But now they decide to do this strategy when only 4 Jaegers are left.
Next when driving the Jaegers why is there a spinning blade grinder under these guys? What happens if the accidentally fall in? Wait that actually almost happened. Bad design don't you think. Next we have the guy mind meld with a kaiju brain. Now why would they do this. Oh because once the 2 kaijus defeat the 3 Jaegars in less than a minute of movie time they need a diversion for one of the kaijus to leave. Why didn't both Kaijus leave after the scientist guy? So that Dipsey Stranger can intervene and take them out separately. Then something stupid happens. The Gorilla kaiju that's left over doesn't destroy the last non functioning Jaegar. He just walks around it and punches it in the head. Then these 2 guys get out and blind him with a flare. Seriously.
Now we get to the kaijus defeat. Why is the Kaiju pregnant? Its proved that they are all clones. WHY? Thats easy to fix the plot hole in the scientist guy to mind meld with the baby kaiju who has no recollection of whats going on in the other dimension. WTF. Really? The thing is in an egg and it has memories. Its like saying that if a woman is pregnant and the baby is delivered I can mind meld with it and it can show me where he came from heaven or HELL. "Because this is what this movie is".
Finally the part that I screamed at in the Theater. If you read this you know it was me. What was the purpose of having a stick fight training scene if the damn robots cannot use weapons? I didn't see them us any hand-held weapons in which this would benefit them. Oh wait the sword at the end against the flying Kaiju. This is where I screamed, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME". They had this weapon the whole time and never used it. WHY? Oh that's right. If they used it in the beginning the brother wouldn't die and the other brother would not meet the Japanese girl in which they wind up have a interracial love interest. THAT DOESN'T WORK. USE THE SWORD. Then later on create kaijus that are smarter in disabling this technique.
OK forget the sword. how about this. How many times did the jaegers had these kaijus by the neck and never once bothered to crush it with the robotic power? I lost count. As for the flying sucker hell my hands were free. Why not crush its neck with my bare robotic hands.
Then the movie finally ends just like independence day with the stupid alien looking at the Jaeger exploding this movie.