Yes, That's Loud Enough

Rating: 5/10 (15 July 2013)

Greetings again from the darkness. Plain and simple ... this is not my kind of movie. I fully understand there exists movie-goers who are thrilled that director Guillermo del Toro's latest finally hit theatres, but I really struggled with this mash-up of Transformers, Battleship and Godzilla, as well as what I believe to be a new world record for noise level. That being said, I do have some positive comments to make.
The technological aspects of the movie are exceptional. It has a unique look with some of the best CGI ever seen. There is no shortage of action, which is typically good for an action movie ... but here, it seemed that one monster vs robot fight led right into the next one. The cast is very talented and represent some of the most entertaining shows on TV: Sons of Anarchy, True Blood, Homeland, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Justified. The downside is many of them don't seem overly excited to be here just to spout some of the worst dialogue of the year.
The basic story is a war between mankind and the Kaiju - monsters from another world. World leaders work together to develop the Jaeger program ... robots co-piloted by two people who are drift compatible (a kind of mind meld that let's them fight as one). After years of struggling against the Kaiju, the world leaders decide instead to build a security wall around the main cities. Clearly they had not seen World War Z or read any of the "fence" stories from the US/Mexico border. No surprise, but the robots have to be reactivated for the climactic battle scene.
Iris Elba runs the Jaeger program and commands the pilots that include Charlie Hunnam, Rinko Kikuchi, Max Martini, and Robert Kazinski. Hunnam is battling inner demons after the death of his brother (Diego Klattenhoff). For some reason, Hunnam plays his part with an overdose of bland. He seems to have been cast for his effectiveness in his shirtless scenes. Martini and Kazinski stand out here, probably because competition is so uninspired, oh and they have a dog. Ms. Kikuchi seems to be under the impression that her scenes were rehearsals as she can't quite hash out a consistent approach (translated: she is painful to watch). The usually great Elba alternates between a mumbled whisper and a full-out yell ... neither working too well. His "canceling the apocalypse" speech seems to be right out of Independence Day.
The comedy relief is provided by the shared scenes of Charlie Day and del Toro favorite Ron Perlman. Day is at his screechiest and Perlman at his most flamboyant, but it's not enough of the story to salvage much hope. Instead we get an endless number of hand-to-hand combat scenes between Jaeger and Kaiju. And they mostly all look the same: waist deep in water while its dark and rainy. Unless they happen to be completely underwater, where it's even darker.
For all the negatives tossed out here, it must be ended with the reminder that the movie is a technical marvel to look at. I much prefer del Toro in the Pan's Labyrinth mode, and I would even prefer the old Japanese Godzilla monster-fests to this, but he has raised the bar for robotic and monster CGI. Maybe that's enough for your eyes and ears.