Absolutely Spectacular

Rating: 10/10 (25 August 2019)

Written words cannot do this film justice, but I'll give it a shot.
The first thing to mention is that I went into it almost completely blind. I watched the main trailer and nothing else. I was expecting a biopic with a Tarantino twist, and I suppose I got it.
I don't want to say anything about the film's actual composition because part of the magic was going in blind. If you've read this far, you've read too far. Just go and see it. Then come back afterwards and agree with everything I've said.
Usually when I finish watching a movie I take a few minutes or more to decide on my overall opinion, but that wasn't the case with this one. I've never been so quick to give anything a 10/10, and I once saw Billie Piper and John Barrowman in person.
Speaking of attractive people, this film isn't exactly lacking in the looks department. With Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio leading as the Dynamic Duo of Dilfs, and Margot Robbie being Margot Robbie simultaneously, I was losing feeling in my feet from crossing my legs so hard.
This film might legitimately be one of the best things I've ever seen. Not just one of the best movies, but one of the best things overall that's ever happened to me. If God himself decided to make a film he wouldn't be able to make one this good, even with the help of the mind-warping drugs that Tarantino undoubtedly uses as snacks when he writes his scripts.
If someone were to tell me that I in fact hadn't watched the film and instead had done enough cocaine to kill a bear, set myself on fire, and hallucinated the whole thing, I'd absolutely believe them because that's exactly what it felt like to experience 'Once Upon a Time... In Hollywood'. Just go and see it, you'll never regret anything less.