I paid for a blockbuster, I got a cheap western

Rating: 4/10 (9 October 2019)

"Once Upon A Time ... In Hollywood" is a 2019 crime drama directed by Quentin Tarantino starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt. After learning this film received a seven minute standing ovation at the premiere in Cannes I was even more pumped for this film. Over a year ago, when the first images were released, I was so excited I couldn't even put it in words. I mean, Pitt and DiCaprio, both exceptionally gifted actors leading a star-studded cast of beloved legends as well as promising newcomers, even in the smallest role. All of them directed by Tarantino. What could go wrong then? Tragically, so much. The biggest flaw of this film definitely is it's run time of almost three hours. In the most instances it was extremely boring and almost made me fall asleep in multiple occasions. Mostly because the "movie-in-movie" scenes were absolute irrelevant. It might be excellently acted by DiCaprio and Co., but only because of the actors ability. It's like he played the phone book to me: It would definitely be great judging by how he does it, but after all it would still be the freakin phone book. Forty percent of the plot consists of cheesy western scenes - was this really necessary? It felt like an uninteresting Making Of of a cheap western and not like a Tarantino blockbuster. Additionally, the plot had zero substance and didn't even build up any suspense. Just take a look at the Spahn Ranch scene. I expected something horrifying, a conclusion to the mystery, but ultimately it was just as the characters said. What was the purpose of it? I was sitting there uncomfortably and wondered when the pure boredom would finally end. It might be beautifully shot and visually captured the essence of the 1960s, but that's all, the story didn't offer any interesting turns at all, neither do the characters show any development in the end. Next to this, what's the point of casting actors who accurately look like their real life counterparts just to have them show up only as extended cameos? Mostly insulting was the appearance of Bruce Lee. Mike Moh might have nailed the mimic and look, but the way his character is depicted is nothing but a shame. Everyone else looked perfect and showed the original characteristics, why was Lee an arrogant and cocky prick? It's both an insult towards him as a human being and the Eastern film industry itself. Also, what's the point of casting accurate actors just to let them appear for no longer than a few minutes? After the painful first two and a half hours of visually appealing nonsense the final scenes finally showed at least some Tarantino flair. The brutal and gruesome violence is the only proof for the director's origins in the art house genre and even reminded me of "Reservoir Dogs" for a few seconds. That's the only point I've thoroughly enjoyed as it showed the usual cinematic output of QT. The alternative reality depicted in this film is a well written conclusion and was the only acceptable way to depict these tragic events. It treats the legacy of Sharon Tate with immense respect and I liked that a lot. But as the credits rolled I realized that her complete character arc was totally irrelevant for the plot and only there to lure us cinema goers. It sad to see that all the big names only function as a bait for the audience and it was all about the money. The director himself called this a love letter to Hollywood. To me, it feels more like the work of a man that forgot about his cinematic roots and traded his personal beliefs and edgy directorial style for lots of money and the acceptance of the mainstream audience and critics. One could already feel that he isn't able to keep up with the quality anymore in "The Hateful Eight", but compared to this mess it's another "Pulp Fiction". All in all, this film is a complete disaster that generated so much hype and delivered so poorly. It's a cinematic mess with such a promising premise, but such a catastrophic execution. Although it stars many of my favourite actors and actresses to date, the sloppy writing prevents it from being an enjoyable experience. In the end, it's the biggest disappointment of the year that miserably failed my expectations. A wasted opportunity, overrated and nonsensical, the highly acclaimed Quentin Tarantino lost his credibility with. Only in the end it shows a small light of what has been years ago, overall it's absolutely forgettable. Sad but true, he just isn't able to make great films anymore. I should have spent my money on something else. Never been so much disappointed after visiting the cinema...