A cast in search of a plot

Rating: 2/10 (30 November 2009)

This is the perfect example of the Hollywood machine doing their best to simply cash in on a bankable sequel without putting any work or thought into the story. It's immensely clear to me that the reason for the chop-tastic editing and disorienting camera-work is to distract the viewer that there's nothing actually going on. The whole plot rolls on disappointing rails from the first frame until the whole movie hits it's cheap, cop-out, excuse for a surprise ending with a wet thud.
Ordinarily, I'd be loath to give away the ending, but this one is so poor, I feel I'm doing you a favor. After the entire plot dully tromps up to the obvious 'we're doomed' false sunset, the deus ex machina ladle scoops up the entire plot and deposits the viewer in a series of barely thought out flashback scenes referring to characters who were barely brushed upon throughout the story, reporting a caper that's both implausible and dull. A priceless art masterpiece transported by a dude in a backpack with two bodyguards, in lieu of an armored convoy? Even if such an implausible situation where to occur, the courier in question would be blanketed in high tech surveillance, instead of two losers on radios to each other.
What's more, once you've gotten the goods, why go through the dumbshow of 'pretending' to be caught? Are these super-thieves so eager to be processed, photographed, fingerprinted and strip-searched just for the sake of putting on a show for their inept tormentor? I don't think so.
Leaving aside the implausibility of the heist, the execution is just sad. Their plan is to board the train, distract the courier and switch out his bag? That's just tired, and couldn't have been telegraphed more oafishly if Matt Damon jumped out of the screen and crammed his matching backpack down the viewers throat. Honesty, you're saying you resolved this convoluted corkscrew plot by a step above picking someone's pocket?