Grade: C

Rating: Null/10 (21 December 2004)

No one's ever going to accuse "Ocean's Eleven" of aspiring to greatness - that's what made it great. It was mild-mannered, lighthearted fun with great performances, a fun soundtrack, and one hell of a heist. In other words, it worked because no one tried too hard to make it work. "Ocean's Twelve" sadly, seems to be the opposite: a bunch of storytellers working too hard to make something look effortless.
I keep reading all these interviews with the stars of "Ocean's Twelve" who talk about what a great time they had making the movie. It definitely looks that way. They're funny and charming - I mean, c'mon, it's Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Julia Roberts, and Catherine Zeta-Jones. These people BLEED charm. To say nothing of Matt Damon, Bernie Mac and Elliot Gould (who actually invented charm sometime before the birth of Christ). But all the charm in the world, all the winking and giggling and joking and fun you can possibly have isn't going to make up for a crappy script. Which is really what "Ocean's Twelve" is.
So basically the guy that Danny Ocean's gang ripped off last time, Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia, with little to do but fume) has tracked them all down and demanded they get him his money back or he'll have them all killed. Ocean (George Clooney) and partner in crime Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt) get everyone back together to go pull a heist in Europe to pay what they owe, plus interest.
The plan, at first, is to rip off an antique collector of the first-ever stock certificate. The plan goes perfectly until they get there and find that another thief, the legendary Night Fox, has gotten there ahead of them. The Night Fox leaves a note in its place challenging Ocean to a thieves' duel of sorts. If Ocean's gang wins, the Night Fox will pay their debt to Benedict. If the Night Fox wins, Ocean's gang dies.
Ocean, with little choice, accepts. Meanwhile, Isabel Lahiri of Interpol (Catherine Zeta-Jones), a former lover of Rusty's and the current pursuer of the Night Fox, catches wind of the contest and resolves to catch everyone in the same net. Let the confusion begin.
The brilliance of the twist in the first film was what made it great. It was genuinely unexpected, at least to me. All the fun stuff that came before that was icing - the twist was the cake. Here, there's plenty of icing, but no cake. There's a twist of course, one you see coming a mile away. It's not the same. It's like a one-night stand that was really terrific, but you try it again, and it's just not clicking.
There was, however, an inspired bit involving Danny's wife Tess (Julia Roberts) and the part she ends up having to play in the proceedings. It's very amusing and very charming. Completely unbelievable, but it gets you a bearable twenty minutes closer to the end of the movie.
Don't bother with it. It'll just make you wish for what might have been.