Are the people who made so deluded they think we will be satisfied with this?

Rating: 3/10 (11 June 2014)

There is no heist. Despite the fact it is a heist movie and a sequel to a heist movie there is no heist. In this worthless follow up to the surreally enjoyable Ocean's Eleven, Danny Ocean and his team are back and, to pay the person they stole from in the first movie back, they have to steal a Jewelled egg or...something? Steven Soderbergh is still a strong director and there is a good musical score, but the suggestion anyone would be genuinely satisfied with this is an insult to our intelligence. It's smug, stupendously stupid and totally bland. I want to see an entertaining heist movie, not a lazy, illogical comedy in which the criminals act smug, perform odd jobs and get caught by police. It's an awful storyline, with plot twists compensating for the lazy writing. They do eventually steal a Jewelled egg but the way in which it's done is convoluted and the closest thing we get to a heist is an annoying side character break dancing through lasers.
To cut a long story short: The twists fall flat. The locations fall flat. Numerous bizarre scenes such as Julia Roberts' character impersonating Julia Roberts and a thief break dancing through lasers fall flat. The plot falls flat. Almost all of the jokes fall flat. The heist would have fallen flat had there actually been one. The story falls. The lack of thrills and fun falls flat (obviously). The natural charisma of George Clooney and Brad Pitt falls flat. Bruce Willis falls flat in a dire cameo. Julia Roberts falls flat, especially when impersonating herself. Don Cheadle was already falling flat thanks to his dreadful accent and now he falls even flatter. Matt Damon falls flat. They all fall flat. The ending falls flat. The locations fall flat. Lock this up in a high security vault and don't ask Danny and his team to come and get it. It doesn't deserve it.
3/10