At least it isn't formulaic

Rating: 5/10 (27 December 2004)

Ocean's Twelve departed from sequel tradition by completely abandoning everything that worked from the original(or, the remake of the original, as it is). This time, the smooth, professional cast of thieves comes back to stumble around like amateurs. In addition, we get Catherine Zeta-Jones as the most confidently inept corrupt detective in cinema history, and Vincent Cassel as a rival thief with incomprehensible abilities of stealth and acrobatics to rival any martial arts master, and the wounded pride of a school boy. Oh, and Julia Roberts returns in what surely must have been the most challenging role of her career. The plot from the original (remake) was full of holes, but they were forgivable holes. This time, even the motives are questionable. Would a professional thief really break the "code" and reveal his colleagues to one of their victims because his mentor snubbed him? Would the sinister Terry Benedict really settle for a monetary settlement from said thieves when the last time someone cheated in his casino he, "had the bank seize his house and bankrupted his brother-in-law's tractor dealership"? The heist itself isn't nearly as fascinating this time around, mainly because there isn't one, unless you count a brief scuffle on a bus. So what is there to watch in this heist film without a heist? Well, there is the struggle of lovable young Linus as he attempts to become a criminal mastermind in his own right and move out of the shadow of both his father and Danny Ocean. There is the slightly amusing sub-plot of the Amazing Yen getting lost in a suitcase. And a goofy French thief hangs around, pestering the beleaguered gang, sort of like Katherine Hepburn in "Bringing Up Baby". Oh, and there's this Darth Vader sort of moment at the end that I suppose was intended to be emotionally significant, but failed utterly. When Ocean's Eleven came out, I figured Steven Soderbergh had made some pretty important films lately, and was taking a well-deserved diversion. Playtime, however, is over; his remarkable skills should be better spent than this.