The Con is On (the audience)

Rating: Null/10 (15 December 2004)

OCEAN'S TWELVE (2004) **1/2 George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Julia Roberts, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Andy Garcia, Vincent Cassel, Don Cheadle, Elliot Gould, Bernie Mac, Carl Reiner, Eddie Jemison, Scott Caan, Casey Affleck, Shaobo Qin, Robbie Coltrane, Eddie Izzard, Jeroen Krabbe, Albert Finney, Topher Grace, Cherry Jones (Unbilled cameo as himself  Bruce Willis) (Dir: Steven Soderbergh) The Con is On (the Audience) Sequels and remakes are let's face it kissin' cousins that at times result in cinematic inbred retardation. That's not to say that the remake of 'Ocean's Eleven's new chapter to a shaky franchise is the case but it is certainly a tricky maneuver much like a sucker has to deal with in a fixed game of three card monty.
The Ocean Eleven is back - just like the film's tag-line 'Twelve Is the New Eleven' in that this incarnation the odds are even more against the rag-tag cool cadre of thieves when they are reluctantly re-assembled after their last mark, silky sinister Vegas casino hot-shot Terry Benedict (sadly underused Garcia) is chomping at the bit for his nemesis Danny Ocean (Clooney practically attempting to pass somnambulism as waycool fortitude in a phone-in charm curdled turn) to repay him the $160 M bust (plus interest) his posse pilfered three years ago. With a window of two weeks the gang are back together for one final job in Europe.
Returning are retro cool Rusty Ryan (Pitt), eager to be his own criminal Linus Caldwell (Damon), bloke safecracker Basher Tarr (Cheadle), street smart Frank Catton (Mac), knuckle-head Malloy brothers Turk and Virgil (Caan and Affleck, respectively), seasoned pros Reuben Tishkoff and Saul Bloom (Gould and Reiner, respectively ), techie geek Livingston Dell (Jamieson) and Chinese acrobat 'greaseman' Yen (Qin)  who more or less have gone to less-distinguished yet 'legit' lives since their big score.
Also on hand is long-suffering Tess (Roberts), now Danny's re-married wife who pines for domestic niceties and police detective Isabel Lahiri (Zeta-Jones)  ex-gal pal of Rusty  who is hot on the trail of her boyfriend.
This over-thought and undercooked crime spree is convoluted and a tad too sure of itself even as it asks the ridiculous notion of the group to simply screw things up and let the domino effect fall where it may is what is truly at fault in George Nolfi's screenplay and the addition of master thief Eurotrash Francois Toulor Cassel) to gum up the works slams the brakes on the trip to Coolsville the film so arduously attempts to rekindle the far superior remake it subsists off like some cinematic vulture on carrion.
What is to like are the sprinkles of humorous dialogue between the chemistry, baby, chemistry of this unlikely gathering of men on the take for the easy life with no strings attached and the bonhomie, although stilted since many of the ensemble is stretched out like so many potholes, retains a few moments of relaxed anxiety.
What I truly tired of was the addition of Mr. Willis' unwelcome 'cameo' that is the definition of star-tripping smugness that clearly grinds things to a halt by the film's troubled third act ; 'nuff said.
Soderbergh's camera is all knowing angles and scattershot editing is his trademark and at least attempts to keep the plottings such as they are lively. Nice try but sadly a bilked one at that.