Insufferable crap, fodder for the lame and foolish...

Rating: Null/10 (27 August 2002)

Notting Hill is easily one of the weakest, most pitiful excuses for a "comedy" I have ever seen. Nothing subtle or inspired or funny about it; only schmaltz for the gullible who are led down the merry path by these cynical moviemakers. Two actors with no chemistry and extremely limited ability attempt to wring comedy from kneeslappers like "I bet he's got a d**k the size of a peanut". The question one keeps asking while watching this wretched mess is "why does anyone care what happens to this silly unappealing movie star (Roberts) and this bland drip who is smitten with her (Grant)?". Roberts is so stunted when it comes to range that she doesn't even play a convincing movie superstar in a fictitious rendering of her own status. The movie is loaded with current and recent movie references so the dimwits in the audience can feel knowing and wise while fantasizing about the trials and tribulations of fame in this day and age, which the starry-eyed in the audience are permitted to empathize, courtesy of a pandering, National Enquirer-mentality soft soap. In essence this movie asks the drips in the audience to either identify with how hard they would have it if they were the movie star they wanted to be (like Roberts)...while trying to give them hope that even they can hook up with a movie star, despite being a poor nobody (like Grant). It's all trussed up in a British veneer to let everybody feel they're witnessing something quirky and charming. But it's really just mediocre, doggerel, bottom-of-the-barrel slick moviemaking for chumps.