Failed My 30 Minute Test

Rating: 1/10 (1 November 2015)

This film is the latest to fail my 30 minute test. I give every film 30 minutes and, in that time, if the film has promise, I watch the remainder. The only films that fail the test are those that are very poor, for one reason or another.
In the case of North by Northwest, the issue is blatantly clear: The script is ridiculously contrived, and the story is totally unbelievable. I cannot watch a serious film when it disregards reality in such a casual, off-hand manner. The premise of a man on the run because of mistaken identity is not too shabby, but there are so many insulting things the writer does to force the story. I'll give you one example, of many, in the first 30 minutes:
Protagonist is abducted at gun point from a busy public building (already, that's absurd) by two men, who then take him elsewhere. He meets their boss, who tells him that he may as well drop the innocent act, and that his identity is known. After he unsuccessfully tries to convince the abductors that they have the wrong man, they force bourbon down his throat, and then attempt to crash him off a cliff, in an effort to make his death look like an accident. Even though the quantity of alcohol he has ingested would render him completely helpless, he somehow fights off one of the abductors and takes control of the car, managing to drive it for a long while before the police apprehend him. He is arrested and tells his story to the police and judge. So far, the writer wants us to believe that these professionals have:
1. Abducted someone in this ridiculous fashion 2. Made a massive mistake with one of their targets 3. Been too stupid to realize after the protestations that the protagonist is not the man they are looking for 4. Have chosen a ridiculous method to kill their target. Seriously, if they were as organized as we're led to believe, the protagonist would just disappear. No professional would drive someone off a cliff.
The level of realism is already rock bottom, and it only gets worse from this point on (sigh... for example, the protagonist decides to do his own investigation work, which involves entering the hotel room of the intended target, even though he has come close to being murdered. NO-ONE WOULD EVEN THINK ABOUT DOING THIS. HUMANS DON'T BEHAVE THIS WAY.
Everything that happens is totally unbelievable and against how real people think and operate. In order to make the film work, the writer has had to cheat by making everyone act like a moron. I absolutely guarantee you that if you take the initial incident and apply it to real life, it would end with the villains apologizing for mistaking you for someone else, your own death, or the villains being arrested. With a foundation that is SO rotten, nothing of worth can possibly grow.
I love some of Hitchcock's films (especially Dial M For Murder, and Frenzy), but this is just absolute nonsense.