Surprisingly lame and boring like the Kesha song "Blow"

Rating: 4/10 (12 May 2011)

I was actually surprised to see the 6.2 rating, which is still relatively low. Based on the quality of the writing, acting and overall feel of the movie, it should be much lower.
This movie reminds me of the Kesha song "Blow", which is surprisingly boring despite all the hype and scandal that she thought were already injected into it (I thought her other songs were much better and was surprised that a Kesha song called "Blow" would be a candidate for elevator muzak). This song is still a "hit" though, probably to the same knuckle-draggers who gave this movie anything over a 5.1
For a world class armchair athlete like myself, after about the 10th joke fell flat I essentially fell asleep and was like "why is this almost 2 hours long?" and "WTF is Ludicrous doing in this movie and why is his part so lame?" and "What's with the creepy, typical loser friend? That guy makes me want to puke." The whole concept that the Ashton and Portman characters are "friends" doesn't make any sense. They never knew each other. They only met randomly a handful of times and never developed a relationship until they decided to have convenient sex (which was only possible BECAUSE they were never friends...this contradicts the whole marketing campaign).
The problem with this "pump and dump" strategy is Ashton turns out to be too much of a cuddler for the clichéd "daddy issues" emotional vacuum of the Portman "modern sexy woman" character. The movie doesn't develop any of her emotional baggage but superficially it looks like this character isn't that much different from her Black Swan character, ie. she is messed up. She clearly has family problems and is emotionally distant and disturbed. I didn't find her performance in this movie any funnier than her wriggling, feather-plucking one in Black Swan.
I'm sick of these movies. Damaged people trying to have unattached sex to prove they don't have daddy issues is getting older than the old ladies smoking pot clichés that were rampant in the mid 2000s.
Movies about nihilistic promiscuity are boring and you people should be ashamed of yourselves.
You dirty, filthy beasts.