Dear Ms. Portman

Rating: 4/10 (23 January 2011)

Dear Ms. Portman,
I just wanted to say congratulations on your pregnancy, engagement and you awards for your brilliant performance in Black Swan. So to be leading up to an Oscar nomination and probable win no doubt. Your life really seems to be on a upswing professionally and personally. So not that I am anyone at all but as a big movie fan I'm here with some movie advice. I recently just saw your newest film No Strings Attached which hit no. one this weekend, another congrats. Unfortunately I must tell you it was pretty bad and I'm shocked that you stooped to such confused, sordid material and with a half assed performance that was without a doubt the worst of your career. And that is truly saying something because your performance was okay, pretty generic because you've had such an accomplished career thus far. My advice would be stay away from such cinematic turkeys as this. Yes your role was completely underwritten and your character had little to no reasoning of why she acted the way she did but despite that the humor came across as crude and vulgar and the movie felt so unnecessarily long and not long enough at the same time as it came to it's ridiculous and confusing unending. In fact I would like to say in fact that the best part of the movie was surprisingly Ashton Kutcher that found a way to show some actual range with his performance. Maybe there is hope for him yet if he could just escape the horrible type casting. Sure the film had moments and you certainly elevated that dinner scene with Kevin Kline but only momentarily. Now I'm not saying you were the worst part of the film at all that was the actual film and running a close second was a supporting role by Ludicrous. And I'm certainly not trying to be insulting but as an avid fan I'm just suggesting you stick with better material and make the films you've always made respectably and no pander down to such trite, nonsensical, unmemorable and excuse if this is harsh dumb garbage. Not saying this the worst film I've ever seen in fact it's far from it but that's precisely the category it lands in and everyone associated with this should know better. For now a slap on the hand but next time I will start to loose faith. I'm crossing my fingers for Thor.
**/5
Sincerely,
Richard Cavellero