Blaargh.

Rating: Null/10 (23 February 2011)

Natalie Portman's name in the credits will lure me into any film, and when paired with the ever- so-underused Ashton Kutcher I was quite intrigued as of what was to come. My excitement, let me tell you, was all in vain. Even by romantic comedy standards, "No Strings Attached" is an abomination. The basic idea, two people having sex without a relationship, isn't nearly as scandalous as it hopes to be. In fact, I've seen more controversy evoked by an episode of the Teletubbies. The clichés are so over the top it becomes impossible for the viewer to let them slide. And most importantly, it lacks the most essential ingredient of a decent romantic comedy - character chemistry. I would've rather watched siblings making out.
How Portman went from making Black Swan to this shall remain one of the great mysteries of mankind. Obvious Jew-jokes aside, I know this is a blockbuster movie that must have come with a big, fat paycheck. However, for an A-list actor that can hardly be the main motivator so we can only keep guessing. Perhaps the appeal was Kutcher, but as it seems like, judging by the on-screen action, she would rather have intercourse with a syphilis-ridden slug this seems quite unlikely.