Dreadful.

Rating: 2/10 (1 July 2011)

As a man, I'll complain to an expected level every time about having to watch romantic comedies with my wife, but I can admit that I find most of them fairly enjoyable in the end.
Not so much with this one.
This movie brought to mind two movies from the late '80s, not because of any similarity in content.
The first was "Funny Farm." When Chevy Chase's wife reads the first chapter of his manuscript, it's so bad that she actually cries before ripping it to shreds in an honest critique.
I don't know how this wasn't everyone's reaction to this script. It was just all over the place. The connection between Portman and Kutcher's characters is never close to believable, and the rest of the characters add nothing. Add in a ton of crudity presented with all the subtlety of "Beavis and Butt-Head" (and I say this as a big fan of that show, but I think this movie fancies itself as better than that), and it just left me scratching my head. I'm not an expert on the process of making films, but it seems like there are plenty of places along the way to recognize a real stinker. How was this movie ever made?
The other movie that came to mind was "Steel Dawn," with Patrick Swayze. What the heck was Swayze doing in that movie, after "Dirty Dancing"? The same goes with all the big names in this one. I noticed that Natalie Portman was an executive producer, so she had to, I guess, but what is everyone else's excuse? What were Kutcher, Kline, and Cary Elwes (in a non-existent role in which he was practically unrecognizable) thinking? Even Ludicrous (I know how his name is really spelled, but it's fixing it for me), who is still working to establish himself as an actor, was too good for this one.
There just wasn't a thing endearing about this film. I was shocked to come here and see that so many people liked it. Maybe I just don't get it.
The worst part? My wife keeps forgetting to take the disc back to Red Box, so we're still paying a buck a day to have it in our home. I need to call her right now.