May cause other side effects

Rating: Null/10 (25 February 2011)

"No Strings Attached" is a terrible film. Thematically, and very superficially, it resembles "gender cinema" of the 1960s (eg "Love With The Proper Stranger", "The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie", "Shampoo" etc), in which supposedly "feminist" female characters free themselves from the shackles of patriarchy to become, quite ironically, emancipated, one dimensional, "no strings attached" sex objects for men, before realising that, actually, polyamory is overrated and nothing beats good old fashioned monogamous family values. These "liberation movements", and films, didn't really change anything, so much as they opened up the female workforce for exploitation (feminism always ignored class in favour for gender discrimination and sexist oppression). With twice as many employable people on the market, wages then went down.
The film stars Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman. Kutcher's films are all about his giant ego and smug, pretty-boy body obsessions. Here, a thoroughly pleased Portman ("Watch me, love me, celebrate the wonders of my gym") matches Kutcher's narcissism blow for blow, the actress celebrating her newfound womanhood and bodily confidence by constantly thrusting her boyish frame in our faces like she's desperately auditioning for a bored paedophile.
4/10 – Worth no viewings.