A romantic comedy that is neither

Rating: 3/10 (22 January 2011)

How about this for a unique movie premise: Boy and girl accidentally get reunited after several years, decide to skip all the work that goes into a relationship and settle for a strictly sexual one. They end up falling for each other, tempers flare, and break up. Moderately dramatic event occurs that brings them back together again. It may sound like the outline of every Matthew McConaughey film, and now it's also the recycled theme of No Strings Attached.
Adam (Ashton Kutcher) is some unspecified assistant on a television show, whose father (Kevin Kline, in what surely is one of his more forgettable roles) happens to be an extremely famous actor. He's also completely irresponsible and hedonistic, and somehow we're supposed to believe that he'd even bother to get a doctor's note so he could buy medical marijuana. Adam finds out that dad is now dating his bimbo ex-girlfriend. Distraught over this, Adam goes on a drinking binge that ends up reuniting him with Emma (Natalie Portman), a gifted doctor in residency in a teaching hospital. They end up in a strictly sexual relationship, and you'll figure out exactly how things are going to play out before the wacky sex location montage scene has finished. Emma is fine with this arrangement as she doesn't want to get too close to anyone. Adam wants more. The falling out is inevitable, as is the reunion (spoiler alert, everything works out just fine!).
This film follows the rom-com playbook to the letter. Emma of course has several roommates, one of which is the required effeminate overweight gay guy. Token black guy? That role is played by Ludicrous, the friend of Adam that shows up occasionally to give the standard bro "you should be banging her" advise. And of course the other women in Adam's life are either extremely socially awkward, or lesbians. Despite taking place in Los Angeles, you'd think it was more like a small town in Iowa the way everyone bumps into each other at the coffee shop or just walking down the street.
The jokes tend to fall flat, with the funniest scene involving Adam showing up at Emma's apartment with a menstruation mix CD (i.e. Sunday Bloody Sunday, other blood related songs) to entertain her and her fellow suffering roommates, one of who remarks that her underwear resembles a crime scene. I should point out that this film was directed by Ivan Reitman who also directed The Ghostbusters. What made him read this screenplay and decide that he must make this film? Every scene goes on just a little too long, and some of them don't make any sense. Example: when Adam gestures to Lucy, the awkward assistant director of the show he works on to sit down, she looks at the chair and says "oh look, a chair", pauses and then sits down. What was the point of that? Ed Wood films had better editing that this. None of the characters are remotely likable and most are barely more than ugly stereotypes.
Unless you really need to hear some jokes about Ashton Kutcher's penis, pass on this one. This movie will be in the five dollar bin at Wal-Mart in six months. And at that price, you'd still be better off with a random McConaughey rom-com instead.