Not even close

Rating: 5/10 (22 January 2011)

I should probably have seen it coming. Considering that neither Natalie Portman nor Ashton Kutcher have done anything remotely funny, and Ivan Reitman hasn't directed anything great since Kindergarden Cop, I wonder what it is that gave me hope that No Strings Attached could be any good. It's a bland experience, with bad acting, too much contrivance for comfort, and questionable focus. The vast bulk of the jokes fall flat, and the few that don't aren't very original.
Even from the get go, you have the feeling that this movie is doing something wrong. In the first few minutes it jumps from ten years, to five years to the present day, and asks us to accept the fact that two people who met at a party and haven't spoken since would remember each other after several years. It's hard to say whether laughter was the intended reaction, but it feels far more awkward to the viewers than it does to the characters.
It might have helped if anyone in the cast was trying, but nobody is. Ashton Kutcher, is potentially forgivable when considering that the role is way beyond him, but Natalie Portman, is not so easy to forgive. Her performance reeks of personality swings between girlish and womanish, she fails to sell emotion, and also she plays drunk like she's had no acting experience. Kevin Kline and Ludicrous are painfully underused in their supporting roles. This brings me to another problem with No Strings attached; too much of the plotting feels unnecessary. I would have liked it if the move spend more time with the lead couple. Instead, we have to ensure a time passing montage of sexual encounters, which rob us of the comedy and the credibility.
Whatever it is that may sound appealing about No Strings attached is probably misleading. It's far too lazy and incompetent to be worth anyone's time.