No Movie For Young Men (Or Women) (Or My Dog)

Rating: 1/10 (9 April 2011)

**Spoiler Alert - this movie blows.**
My dog got up to pee within 10 minutes. She is a real good film critic and you can judge the worth of a film pretty damn well by how long she watches it until getting up to pee. Sometimes I will want to turn a film off half-way through, but if the dog is still seeming to be getting something from it, and has not yet gotten up to pee, I will stay put and soldier on. My dog did me, and my brother, a big favor by getting up to pee so soon after we recklessly and foolishly placed No Country For Old Men into our beloved, yet tortured, DVD player, and pressed the PLAY button.
I love my dog. Not just for her spot-on sense of film aesthetics and quality, but for her care and love for her masters. Not only did she get up to pee within ten minutes of this movie starting, she began to moan, and bark, and beckon us towards the back door, with her favorite toy rope in her mouth. She didn't give a sh-t about playing then. She was already tired. She was simply trying to spare us from the dehumanizing experience of sitting through No Country For Old Men. She already decided that this was No Movie For Little Doggy-Wogs. She thought that if we watched this film then there would be no breakfast for her in the morning.
Which is true. If I, or my brother, had watched this whole film, we probably would have jumped out the window. Iggy Pop is not credited in this film for some reason, but he can't act worth sh-t. I guess the Brothers Coen finally went the way of their favorite actor Nicolas Cage - bite the Big Hollywood Pecker!!
Yes. This movie eats my ass. I hate the part I watched. So what if I didn't watch the whole thing? It sucks and I failed at completing a single viewing of it. Instead of suffering through this horrible, horrible sh-t, my brother and I put on some other movie, which we enjoyed WAY F-CKING MORE THAN THIS SH-T!!!!! Time is money. It is precious. Don't waste it. Watch good movies. Not this one, but good ones. Please, people - WATCH GOOD MOVIES - NOT THIS ONE.