What the goddamn movie all about?

Rating: 1/10 (2 January 2008)

Listen, while watching this scum, my cousin did comment on me, that once that is over, we go get an ice cream. Now listen, that ice cream (ben and jerry's cookie cream crumble with french ice cream even though the french is scum) was far more plausible than anything that could have been included manufacturably within the timescale of Bardem's soliloquies! I'm no movie critic, but listen, neither was them who wrote, no? I'm not gonna be french and try be all intellect but you know this art-fest is more of a fart-fest if you get my drift. Listen, I wish I could people would stop putting them Mexicans as the dead animals putting themselves over a border THAT Doesn't EXIST! I've seen borders, and they make difference. How they all speak Spanish, like the guy says Medico Por Favor? When he is white? Now one more thing, you know how Bardem, if that's his real name, makes it like they all magic die with metal head bang? That isn't pa-usable, or even plausible. For peat's sake, get something more pa-usable. Like a stick of that hard Italian cheese they put on that pasta, you know? I wonder if they always wanted to bore and kill their audience with such a chiefly applicable horrible terrible flick that doesn't even have comprehend. If I was to be a writer of movie stuff, I would have had the job for snakes on a plane. That job was cool. Them snakes really did do the job. They didn't have no bone sticking out of their arms, why? Cos they don't have arms or metal head bang things to kill their nemeses.
Mother of God, I think Bardem was more animated when he did that movie about the guy who was afraid to leave his bed. He was so scared of moving, just like this cardboard ant. Like, painting with your mouth and writing letters with your mouth is so afraid of moving just like Sugar is in this not so sweet non-epic of a non-slasher anti-epic like that.
Anyway, now listen, one more time, I think this two hours of fiefdom should be avoided like the french, them stinky. Oh ya, you remember that reference to Pasta Carbonara, well it was supposed to be a reference to the french, but the Coen Brothers are so ignorant, they think Europa is one continent.
God help the Coen MOTHER, with her artyfarty better than thou type thing!! Please, she be so disappointed with this minimalistic anti-movie piece of submission to the artists who think motifs themes and character development are of the utter most of impedances. Get the know how, when not to know when to watch this movie flume/