The Coens squeeze out a brown whippy and tell us it's chocolate

Rating: Null/10 (21 January 2008)

No Country for Old Men (which will henceforth I shall spell without an "o" or an "ry"... and possibly without a "No", "for" or "Old Men" either) is entertaining only in the quantity of sewage Hollywood can pass off as meaningful, artistic film-making.
*Spoiler*
A Vietnam veteran hunter, played by Josh Brolin - ably demonstrating his ability to use the same facial expression and tone of voice in every scene, finds some dead Mexicans in the desert along with a ton of drugs and a case full of money. Being too stupid to think of anything else to do he takes the money and leaves. Later he returns so that the Mexican drug dealers can easily find out who he is. He escapes and goes on the run, pursued by a group of vicious stereotypes; a bat-poo insane hit-man (Javier Bardem) with a humane cattle killer; a large group of disposable Mexicans; a cowboy (Woody Haroldson); and, a hoary old sheriff (Tommy Lee Jones) who spouts meaningless philosobabble while doing absolutely nothing about the mounting pile of dead bodies.
After lots of moody shots of the Texan countryside and a fair number of random murders by the hit-man ("excuse me sir, would you mind standing there like a lemon while I put this sinister looking device against your head"), Brolin's character is done to death (off screen) by the disposable Mexicans, who are, in turn done to death by the hit-man. He takes the money and offs Brolin's wife, presumably because he likes killing people. Then he gets hit by a car and wanders off into the sunset with a broken arm.
The sheriff goes to see his uncle who says that things were much better when his uncle was being shot by injuns in 1909 and we end with some funky dream analysis.
*End Spoiler*
This is the type of movie that will be considered "deep" by the kind of people who are now embarrassed by the fact that they used to think that the Matrix was "deep". No Country has all the depth and emotional content of a shallow puddle of warm urine.
The acting is universally terrible the storyline unbelievable and the ending unsatisfying. As noted, Brolin uses the same expression throughout the film. Bardem's character is invisible when viewed from the side. Haroldson has just enough screen time to annoy one before being killed and Tommy Lee Jones does his standard impression of Droopy the bloodhound.
Frankly if you want to you can read anything you want into this film, its a "viceral emotive commentary on the violence of the human condition", a "no holds barred analysis of the choices men make in a world in which good and evil are no longer separated" or, as I personally prefer "a soiled pile of self-indulgent w*nk".
Go on, you know you've got 2 hours of your life that you don't need.