Infinite awfulness, minimal charm

Rating: Null/10 (28 July 2009)

There's a touching scene early in this film where Nick (Michael Cera) and Norah (Kat Dennings) have just met and kissed for the first time. They sit in Nicks car and exchange glances that tell us love has just blossomed. This happens 15 minutes into the film and I felt that it should have just ended right there.
I'm not saying this is a terrible movie, but it's a waste of time. You go into any romantic comedy expecting the leading man and woman to fall in love by the end, but in this film they fall in love very early, yet they don't ride off into the sunset right away. That's because the plot keeps putting them together, then breaking them up, and then putting them back together again until the credits finally roll.
Nick is grieving over being cheated on and dumped by his ex girl friend Tris, who for unclear reasons is friends with Norah, who she constantly insults only to boost her own insecurity. Norah gets even by making out with Nick, unaware that he's Tris's ex boy friend. This kick stars the romantic plot which is on auto pilot from the start.
While running around New York City Norah runs into her ex boy friend Tal, who dated her because her father is a powerful music producer. Why anyone would like Tal is a mystery. He's the clichéd jerk character who only exists to be hated.
Will Nick and Norah fall in love, or will they retreat back to their cruel and unlikable exes? When you know how its going to end there isn't much reason to care.
The script struggles to develop a strong sub plot go along with the mediocre romance. One attempt at one is the search for Norah's friend Caroline, who gets sloppy drunk and stumbles all around New York city without getting mugged or sexually assaulted. How she manages to do that could be it's own movie.
The other sub plot is the search for a secret concert for a band called "Where's Fluffy". A secret concert is probably the worst idea in the history of music. The only way to reach the location of the concert is to find instructions scribbled on a bathroom stall. If a miraculous Beatles reunion was being held at a secret location I doubt anyone would make it.
The gorgeous actress Kat Dennings and Micheal Cera build minimal chemistry, but it's tiring to see these two easily playing to the usual types they always play: Cera is the sensitive, likable guy, and Dennings is the slightly bitchy sarcastic smart girl. It works for them now but they should learn that nothing great has ever been achieved by playing it safe. I also hated how their characters bond over their connection to music, which they talk about in nearly every scene, but you never get to hear it. It's like porn without seeing sex.
Maybe this experience is funny you may be asking? Well the big recurring joke involves piece of gum that travels from mouth to mouth, gets covered in mucus, falls down into a vomit filled toilet, and finds its way back into various peoples mouths. Hilarious right?