I feel dirty now... and not in a good way

Rating: 1/10 (20 October 2008)

Perhaps this movie really speaks to the under 18 set. I usually have no problems with teenage comedies. I get them. I'm still young enough to relate. I couldn't relate to these characters at all. The movie seemed like it was going to go somewhere, and it didn't. The characters did not develop in any meaningful way whatsoever. It left me with a lot of questions, such as: How do high school students manage to get into so many drinking establishments and drink loads of booze when they don't even remotely look old enough to be in there? Isn't the drinking age in NY 21? They don't even get ID'd. I suppose I'd understand if they flashed fake IDs.
How are there no parents involved whatsoever? I suppose this explains how they were able to stay out until sun-up.
Was it a Friday night? What was the point of this movie? I thought maybe Nick and Norah would have some big moments of clarity, where they made it very clear to their exes that they were done with them. Instead, Nick's character still seemed like he'd take the other girl back. Gross.
Why is it that sadly, the traveling gum is the only part that makes sense, adding a little bit of continuity to the film? But then they can't even deal with that properly... It would have actually been funny had it landed in the original guy's mouth... not smacked him in the face.
What does it prove exactly, that Nick could make Norah climax in a matter of 20 seconds? Was the machine recording? Will her dad completely freak out on Norah when he hears that? Why did we have to be a party to Norah's first orgasm anyway? It was squeaky, awkward, and childlike. It made me feel dirty, and only adds fuel to the argument that teens shouldn't be having sex. Because it sounded very child-like, which made me feel like a dirty dirty pedophile for even watching that part of the movie.
Why didn't I walk out of the movie early on, when I realized that it was pointless and was going nowhere? Because I kept hoping something would happen.
Will I ever be compensated for the time and money I wasted on this film?