Train Wreck

Rating: 1/10 (15 March 2008)

This is the Casablanca of teen Mixed Martial Arts films for the year 2008. I went in with the lowest expectations, and was disappointed even more so, which makes for better movie. The writers should have done what Jake Tyler didn't do in one of cheesy fight sequences...that is TAPOUT! Plus, they picked the coolest name in cinema history, JAKE TYLER! You can't get any cooler than that. If my parents named me Jake Tyler, I would have gotten more muff than a 70's porn star. The fact that people actually went to see this film and took it seriously perplexes me. This is why the industry keeps making films such as "Never Back Down" because every "TAPOUT" apparel wearing barbarian thinks that plots, acting, and originality are things of the past. Two words to describe this film..."LAUGH RIOT!" I was merely going for the sake of humor and heckling, but I believe I gave the American movie going public more credit by thinking they would watch something a little more credible and leave the theater empty for others such as myself going for the exact same reasons. Once again...I was mistaken. Fearing the repercussions of heckling and laughing out loud every time they mentioned the title of the movie in their dialogue would leave me pulverized by the 3 TAPOUT wearing tools in front of me, I kept my laughter at a reasonable volume. Calling this movie a modern day "Rocky" or "Karate Kid" is an insult to those writers who took the time to create something original for the public in the 80's. Pat Morita must be rolling in his grave....of laughter. HAHAHAHAH!