Utter claptrap

Rating: 1/10 (19 February 2008)

What a boatload of pure, unadulterated hogwash. Shame on Helen Mirren, Jon Voight, Harvey Keitel, and Ed Harris for being in this piece of absolutely Bush-Patriot-I'm An Amurrican Hero riddled crap. From Nicholas Cage I would never expect more, he is one of the world's lousiest actors anyway... I mean, have you ever wondered how come a piece of firewood seems to have more emotional range and depth? No spoilers here, none needed. This movie should be avoided at all costs, except if you are trapped on an airplane or possibly in prison or some other confined space with no other choice available to you... In my case, I was held hostage by a German woman I know and forced to see the dubbed version of this piece of utter detritus. I can tell you, dear reader, that having only shortly before-hand been subjected to the sheer agony that is Alvin and the Chipmunks by my nieces, 12 and 8, on a visit to the U.S. over Christmas, that piece of sheer crap was a million times better and ultimately more deserving of every prize that could be thrown at it than National Treasure: The Book of Secrets, especially if you see it dubbed in German. There is no greater "treat" (other than possibly being forced to eat dog excrement for dinner?) than hearing lines which must have been unbearably bad in English come out of the single-emotion, no-talent lips of Nick Cage as Ben Gates. And I pity poor Riley Poole for having accepted a terrible role as sidekick to an idiot in this ultimately boring, totally predictable piece of rotgut which plays to all that patriotic crap which has been rammed down the throats of Americans (and thus the world) since the 9/11 attacks on New York in the name of "patriotism" by the fascist Bush regime.