Improbable story line, plot problems, Nick Cage being Nick Cage, again.

Rating: 5/10 (11 June 2005)

Where do I start? Nicolas Cage once again gives a performance where he seems to be playing... Nicolas Cage. He's a star-struck, or rather, treasure-struck youngster ever since his dear old grandpap first let him in on the secret of the treasure that, apparently, a long line of forebears have searching for for generations. Yet, he seems to have a streak of patriotic altruism entirely out of keeping with the drive necessary to unravel the mystery and find the treasure. And, of course, in the end he graciously and generously gives the treasure that his family has searched for, lo, these many years, to various governmental and historical agencies the world round.
What else is wrong? Well, I just saw it for the first time, just now. It's four AM and I admit to being a tad past mildly buzzed, but even so I kept finding myself unable to maintain the necessary suspension of disbelief required to keep from shaking my head and thinking, "No way." Despite the fact that he seems to have no visible means of support, he has a van tricked out with an array of electronic equipment that would put the intelligence services to shame (and did, as a matter of fact) during the theft of the Declaration of Independence, not to mention that his bosom buddy (no background whatsoever on that relationship; where did he come from?) is an expert at running covert operations at the level of stealing said DofI. Once they get it, and figure out where they have to go, how the hell does his arch-nemesis know to go to Phillie, too? And how the hell does this same nemesis know about the friggin' glasses (OK, oculars, what the hell), which NO ONE in his crew was around to see Cage find? Then they descend into the crypt and chambers beneath Trinity Church and find that both the torches and the entirely improbable channeled lighting system (oil/kerosene remaining stationary on inclined channels??) fire right up. I suppose one is obligated to imagine that volatiles put in place centuries earlier have not evaporated or turned to sludge.
I wish I could recall more of the things that I found completely unbelievable about this movie, especially since I just saw it. But, hey, I already said that I am a bit impaired at the moment. GOK what I might have remembered otherwise. Cage gives another Cage performance. He doesn't seem to be able to get past playing himself. Ms Kruger was, is, lovely indeed, but unfortunately they included a clothes-changing scene where her feet were shown for a few minutes. Her ballet background, unfortunately, showed itself in this scene. Ever known a ballerina? I have; went to college with several. Her poor feet were destroyed by the training in and practice of her art. I happen to be a "leg man," and find a well-turned, trim ankle and dainty feet quite attractive. After seeing that scene where her devastated feet were the focus of attention, I could not thenceforward look upon her with the same undiluted (though ultimately vicarious) desire that I had felt before.
The shame is, with a little more work on the logical inconsistencies, and a little more background on the principals (where the hell did his sidekick get his surveillance equipment and skills?), and a few less clichés, this might have made a pretty good action flick. As it is, I'm stretching to give it a five. 'Nuff said. P.S. Re: Jon Voight. Hey, Jon. I know you probably pulled down some nice coin on this. But, man, as the star of the ONLY X-rated movie to ever earn an Oscar (you and Dustin), surely you can do better.