Are we there yet? I'm hungry. This car smells weird.

Rating: 1/10 (25 May 2005)

National Treasure was a failure as a film. While the monetary figures will not support this comment, I will say that upon viewing this film, it is nothing but accurate. From the clichéd story, to the cheap acting, to even the simplistic "clues" National Treasure proved that if you have a big named actor in the lead, some pre-high school history, and a powerhouse producer (and the big Pirates of the Caribbean passion) that you could literally sell a screen door on a submarine. What was the excitement behind this film? Why is there still a waiting list at my video store for this title? There was nothing of value from the beginning to end of this film that would ever cause the hysteria that I have seen so far. Nicolas Cage proves to the world that he is the male version of Marisa Tomei (questioning his choices after his deserved Oscar win), and that he has the ability to run, jump, and reason with the greatest of speed. Acting wasn't necessarily needed, just the ability to look smarter than one truly is.
With my questions posed as to how the success of this film became a part of American cinema, I thought back to this film. The acting was atrocious. Nic Cage looked and acted just like a mannequin throughout this entire film. There was no range of emotion or excitement in anyway. His romantic involvement with Abigail Chase (Diane Kruger) was like watching two complete strangers try to build a passionate relationship in ten minutes. It was awkward, cheesy, and embarrassing for all those involved. Even the acting from the "comic relief" of the film, Cage's sidekick Riley Poole (Justin Bartha) seemed forced. His jokes didn't make me laugh once, but instead made me feel uneasy and cheated out of some hard earned cash plopped down for this film. To have a successful "action-adventure" film, you must have it firmly stapled with some decent acting. If big stars are only going to water down your film (as in the case of National Treasure), then you must find smaller stars and build upon the story. These are simple rules, which nobody in this production followed.
With no acting in place, I was forced to watch the story unfold before my eyes. Actually, the story felt like a crumpled piece of paper thrown at me. There was no direction, no points for me to follow, but instead haphazard movement by our actors and director to keep the flow of the film in motion instead of becoming stale. Sadly, they were unable to do this. From the opening "clue" to the final one, there was little to no explanation as to why nobody else had found this treasure, or how local historians had never found the hidden artifacts scattered around hugely populated areas. I would understand if we were searching cornfields, but we were in metropolises and nobody discovered these clues until today. It was just rather unbelievable to me. I felt like this story was yelling at me. Violently forcing me to follow each clue without explanation, but out of sheer hope that something bigger would happen. I work better when there is some moment of "why" thrown into the mix. A moment that allows the viewers to think for themselves instead of being treated like children. After viewing this film, that was how I felt. I felt like I couldn't make my own decisions, but instead the power of Bruckheimer was forcing me to think in one way, and one way only. It hurt this film and upset me until the final credits arrived.
Finally, I would like to say (because I am sure that most are upset with my dislike of this film) that another point that hurt this film was the lack of action. This movie is labeled as the next Indiana Jones, but if you grew up with the stories of Lucas and Spielberg, you will remember that they were action based. There were moments of realization, but there was much more action involved. I think more action incorporated into the National Treasure story would have helped it survive a bit longer than what it did. I wanted to see some traps set forth by our founding fathers, some ancient guards, or anything that would have lifted the lifeless plot that surrounded this film. My mother said that it just needed better bad guys, and I couldn't agree more. There wasn't that fire in Bean's eyes that you were accustomed to seeing in the Indy films. Nobody was tied up, nobody had a whip, and nobody was trying. Bruckheimer, you literally need to stop.
Overall, I wasn't impressed with this Hollywood "hit". While most will argue that they thought it was the most impressive film they have seen in a long time (words that I have heard time and time again), I just thought that it never went to the next level. The cliché acting hurt this film dearly, while the story just never reached up and grabbed me. I never felt like Turtletaub (ummmmmm....Turtletaub) quite knew what he was getting himself into. He needed a stronger balance between action and adventure, and needed to allow us to make our own decisions instead of forcing his thoughts into our face. This film was a complete disrespect to our history, and I denounce it forever!
Grade: * out of *****