Forgettable

Rating: 2/10 (23 March 2005)

This film got a best screenplay nomination? I admit -- and maybe this is just because the sound quality on my television isn't the best in the world -- that I spent most of this movie craned forward listening as hard as I could trying to make out what the actors were saying. But does that make a movie worthy of a best screenplay nomination? Honestly, this was some of the least compelling dialog since the silent era.
And I apologize to any Eastwood devotees out there, but is anyone else getting tired of his plodding, paceless films besides me? He has to lugubriously draw your attention to the most mundane details just to make sure the audience doesn't miss anything. And the character through lines? "You're the hard case of the group," says the kidnapper to the young Jimmy, who we've just seen write his name in concrete, so now we'll know who's who when they're grown up. This is what passes for character development in this absolute joke of a film.
Can you imagine what Eastwood would have done with Memento? There probably would have been forty minutes of awkward expositional conversation about memory loss, then violins as he gave away the ending. Honestly, I wish my brain would shut out the two hours I wasted watching Mystic River. Bury our sins, wash them clean? How about we bury this movie instead.