Mystic River, oh how I hate thee...let me count the ways!

Rating: 1/10 (2 March 2013)

MYSTIC RIVER (2003) is a prime example of NAMES counting for something at the Oscars. Clint Eastwood, Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, Kevin Bacon, Marcia Gay Harden, Laura Linney. All big names. How could a film with this star-power behind it possibly NOT get the acclaim it received? For some reason, the Academy loves the "new" Eastwood, the one that some time around 2000 started making these overly dramatic, sappy, preachy morality plays that Oscar voters seem to suck up in droves! Honestly, and no understatement, I think that this film is the WORST thing that Eastwood has ever done! Yep, you heard me.
Eastwood's EARLY-directed stuff was much more watchable, accessible, and relatable than any of the mess he's been churning out in the 00s. Give me 'High Plains Drifter', 'The Gauntlet', 'White Hunter Black Heart', 'Tightrope', and 'A Perfect World', all much more involving, interesting and gripping Eastwood-directed movies before he became an Oscar-begger! Heck, much as I think it's overrated, 'Unforgiven' is way above this Mystic River tripe! At least it's a fairly entertaining modern-day Western with at least a few strong performances and real meaning behind it, if it does kind of preach a bit too much and possess too many boring characters. Even in 'Unforgiven', none of the characters, even the villainous and shady characters, are hate-able. They are actually made relatable to the viewer.
In Mystic River, there is nary a single likable character! They all seem so full of hate and disdain that I just can't find myself connecting with any of them. Penn plays ex-and-maybe-still-sometimes gangster Jimmy Markum, whose daughter Katie (played by Emmy Rossum) was recently murdered. Called in to investigate the case is Bacon, who plays Jimmy's childhood friend Sean Devine, a detective with the Boston PD. The prime suspect is Dave Boyle (played by Best Supporting Actor winner Tim Robbins), the 3rd in the triangle of friends. As a child, Dave was snatched by a pedophile and abused for days before eventually being saved, but of course this experience scars him for life.
The main thing I don't get is, based on how the adult Dave is, I don't see how it is conceivable that he could even function in society. He has a wife Celeste (played by Best Supporting Actress nominee Harden) and young son, but the way he acts makes it seems like he's been literally screwed up his entire life. When did he ever get to a mental state where he could interact, date, get married, and raise a family? This part seems implausible to me. He seems to be in an eternal state of despair and depression with a wife who seems to be amped up and wired all the time! How did these 2 unstable people even raise their kid up to the point that they did? Robbins and Harden play the roles way too over-the-top.
We are supposed to sympathize with Penn's Jimmy, but I find this man absolutely despicable. He is supposedly 'stable' with a successful local business, an almost-grown daughter (Rossum) from a previous marriage, his second wife Annabeth (played by Laura Linney) and their 2 young daughters. But Jimmy has an air of pomposity and vanity that is hard to get past. When his daughter is brutally murdered, of course he first suspects Dave, as both Jimmy and Sean had a part in Dave's abuse as they stood by while the stranger snatched him when they could have done something, so he thinks this may be Dave's revenge, which raises a whole new set of questions, most of which being, why wait so long to exact revenge?! Then Jimmy, not even knowing if Dave is truly guilty, just goes on the word of Celeste, who actually comes across as more unstable than Dave! Jimmy's reaction to his daughter's demise in the park is Oscar-begging-over-emoting at it's finest by Penn, and it worked, as he won Best Actor...yikes! AND, to top it all off, after Jimmy and his cousin-goons (wrongly) kill Dave, Jimmy's wife Annabeth actually calls him a 'hero'! Can't believe the viewer is supposed to sympathize with this loser of a character.
While Jimmy lacks a soul, at least Sean seems distraught and to have a conscience about it all. Lost in Penn and Robbins' theatrics is that Bacon, as Sean, actually manages to deliver a reliably accessible and believable performance. Just goes to show that it's the showy, over-the-top stuff that generally impresses Oscar voters, not the more subtle, harder-to-pull-off work. Truly, at the end of this piece, I despised Penn's character SO much that I wanted Bacon's character to snuff him out...seriously!
To top all of this nonsense off, the real reason that the girl was murdered is utterly ridiculous. I almost think this film would have worked better if it were not a murder mystery, but an actual treatise on child abuse and it's long-term after-effects. Instead, we get this over-acted snoozefest. Eastwood got a Best Director nom (didn't win, thank goodness!), but what did he exactly direct? This seems more like a star vehicle, an example of when directing almost doesn't matter. Close-up after close-up, cloying music, constant preaching and monologue-ing. Terrible film.