Muddled, overrated mess

Rating: Null/10 (11 November 2003)

I came in expecting some kind of transcendent cinematic experience (like chinatown, the godfather, or on a lesser scale, unforgiven) but instead sat through 137 minutes of blue collar east coast cliches, improbable plot twists, and juvenile lines utttered by throwaway characters capped off by a totally predictable ending. The excellent character actor john doman sullies his career by appearing in the first 10 minutes of the film as a violent pedophile. Would that Tim robbins had followed his lead, even his outstanding effort couldn't rise above material, and I watched his film demise with sense of relief.
Sean Penn spends lots time screaming and drinking in this film, undoubtedly as a form of protest over his fetishistic tattoo and hairstyles. Note to eastwood: next time you want to add regional ethnic sensibilities to a film, watch a season of the sopranos. (and can the make up artist with the prison fantasies)
Laura Linney is utterly unconvincing as penn's shrewish second wife. I was embarrassed for her and averted my eyes at the end when she combined a little lady macbeth with a lot of angela lansbury. I could go on, but the overwhelming sense of ennui mystic river evokes is coming back so I'll stop. I really wonder about the critics who loved this movie. Did they walk out early? Dreadful, poorly directed, cliche infested mess with virtually nothing redeeming about it.
My advice? Go see the station agent again. Or stay home and watch a rerun of law and order criminal intent.