Too Many Qualifiers to Recommend Strongly

Rating: 7/10 (10 November 2017)

Is it just me or have trailers now fallen into the habit of selling movies as something they're not. I started noticing this trend sometime around last winter's Passengers (2016). The film was sold as a sweeping sci-fi space adventure when, what it ended up being was a weepy drama with sci-fi trimmings and the mentality of a 90's romantic comedy. Book of Henry (2017), Suburbicon (2017) heck even the very excellent Mother! (2017) all sold themselves as one thing then blindsided audiences by being something entirely different.
The trailer for Murder on the Orient Express and the accompanying movie definitely fall into this trap, though not in the way you'd expect. It is, a point of fact, a candidly old-fashioned whodunit with a showy lead performance by director/star Kenneth Branagh at its center; that much you know. Yet if you're not familiar with the Agatha Christie novel, the stunningly overrated 1974 film or the even more unbearable 2001 made-for-TV movie, you'll be somewhat surprised that the whodunit at the head of this story is very much beside the point. This isn't a murder mystery as the title suggests but rather a social investigation on whether pre-meditated murder can truly be justified.
The film begins at the tail end of one of detective Hercule Poirot (Branagh) world famous criminal investigations. Tired and in need of rest, relaxation and Dickens, Poirot takes the advice of an old friend (Bateman), and hitches a ride on the Orient Express, a luxury coach that winds through the snow-covered Carpathian Mountains before chugging through some of Europe's most important cities. Finding a full train of interesting and potentially dangerous characters, Poirot's relaxation turns to suspicion when a known criminal with plenty of enemies, is discovered dead on board.
During Poirot's careful deconstruction of events and motives we get a sense of Hercule's intelligence, poise under pressure and innate sense of justice. "To me the difference between right and wrong is as clear as black and white," says a tired Poirot right before hopping the train. Little does he know that his brief holiday from crime will have him plumbing through the depths of human sorrow, guilt and anger, ultimately shifting his antiquated worldview.
If you come into Orient Express with that in mind, you may end up having a pretty good time. Agatha Christie invented the popular Poirot for her many novels but the character is a creature of the stage. His mannerisms are big and his emotions are even bigger. Branagh knows this and imbues the super sleuth with a certain theatricality that works well in the cramped quarters of a gently rocking train. He has a stage and fills it with deeply felt emotional stakes. When the big third-act twist reveals itself, we actually feel for Poirot's internal struggle and hardly do we envy him when things start to fall apart.
Of course getting there, and feeling for Poirot much less the rest of our characters involves entirely too many qualifiers for Murder on the Orient Express to warrant a strong recommendation. If you have seen the 1974 Sidney Lumet film, this newer, flashier version feels like an unnecessary remake. It's prettier and quicker paced but like a clear night in a big city, it just feels less impressive and has far fewer stars than you'd like. If you've read the novel then the film's fidelity to the source material may warrant some brownie points. But again, if that's what you're looking for than the 1974 version straight up does it better.
If however, you're coming in fresh and you're jonesing for a good 'ol fashion mystery where you can play along at home thenI have some bad news for you. This movie (and let's face it, every other incarnation of the story), leaves the mystery to hang out just long enough for you to engage on an intellectual level then pulls the rug out from under you in the most unsatisfying of ways. I'm being coy because I don't want to ruin it for you but let's just say Orient Express has always felt like taking a final exam that you've been fretting over for weeks only to discover that everyone's getting an "A" regardless.
So yeah, if you want to get the most out of this movie, you need to have either read the book or seen one of the films. You have to be at least familiar with Kenneth Branagh's directorial efforts and realize that the intellectual exercise in this case is not finding out who the killer is but spotting the differences and similarities between the many versions of the same story. The characters are as always interesting and as I said, this one is prettier, but the greatest version possible out of the source material, this film is not.