Milk Train

Rating: 4/10 (6 November 2017)

Fortunately I had a complimentary ticket for this film, I say fortunately because I'd hate to have paid good money to see something my late mother would have described as insipid. How does it disappoint? Let me count the ways. For one thing it's a remake and I've yet to see a remake that equals let alone eclipses the original. For reasons best known to the producers they contrive to attach an opening segment set in Jerusalem that has absolutely no bearing on the main thrust of the plot, and perhaps worse they ignore every chance to feature the Orient Express as what it is, one of the most glamorous and iconic trains in the world, for all the footage it gets as, let's face it, a character in its own right, it might as well be the Hastings Flyer and/or the 9.17 to Leighton Buzzard. The outrageous plot - a motley group of passengers all with reason to despise the victim, contrive against astronomical odds to take the same train as the victim and then place a knife where it will do the most good - is so unbelievable it needs all the help it can get, help with this cast, distinguished as they may be, don't have it in them to give. Wait for the next train - to anywhere.