Dreadful

Rating: 2/10 (13 August 2018)

I am a huge fan of the 1974 Sidney Lumet version. Even if you already knew what was going to occur, Lumet managed to create tension and drama by utilizing an excellent cast and pacing of the plot. The David Suchet version is also exceptionally well done and is a 1b to Lumet's 1a in my opinion. What made these adaptations so good was that they were more or less loyal adaptions to Christie's novel and managed to capture the spirit of the original story. So when I heard that a remake of this movie had been done, I initially refused to see it. Far too many classics have been recently remade and most have been disappointing or downright awful. I wish I had stuck to my original decision.
Alas, I found it on one of the premium movie channels and I could not resist the temptation. I knew that we were in trouble early on when Branagh (whom I usually like very much i.e. Dunkirk) decided to play Poirot not as the dandy that ANYONE who is familiar with this classic character knows him to be. It is like taking James Bond and making him a pacifist.
Then there are the goofy camera angles. What is the point of the shots that literally only show the TOP of the character's head? What the hell is he doing on top of the train? Ugh.
The casting. What a waste of a good cast. Here is a clue for you scriptwriters. When you dramatically change the characters, you dramatically change the script. The story begins to morph into something that is completely unrecognizable. This is definitely the case with this movie. The characters do things that are completely incomprehensible and only adds to the confusion. The classic "reveal" scene at the end of the movie falls completely flat.
Here is a suggestion to all of you movie moguls. Instead of butchering classic versions of movies (Murder on Orient, Magnificent Seven, Poseidon Adventure, Ben-Hur, etc etc.) why don't you take some of the mediocre or above average stories of the past and try to IMPROVE on them. If you feel compelled to remake a classic, at least try to be loyal to the original movie and material. After all, we call them classics for a reason.