An Unqualified Disaster Of A Movie

Rating: 1/10 (7 February 2006)

The movie can really be summed up in one line that the wife of the main protagonist, Azner, says after just one of the movies excruciatingly painful clichés.
"You're my home", says Azner.
"Stop it, that's corny" she replies and the whole movie is a cliché-ridden, corny abomination. After struggling to prevent myself leaving the cinema within the first ten minutes I found myself repeating just that line in my head as I struggled through the unwieldy and overblown three hours that make up the "Munich" "epic".
The length is pretty incomprehensible and completely unjustifiable as Spielberg goes in for innumerate lengthy pans on the characters faces which reveal precisely nothing (the worst scene being a completely comical flashback scene as Azner has sex with his wife whilst being "haunted" by the events in Munich he didn't actually see) and includes gratuitous panoramic views of nearly every city in the world.
With a terrible script to work from (speaking other languages I wasn't spared from the awfulness of the dialogue in German or French) the actors managed to match it with their delivery. Identification with any of the characters was completely impossible as Spielberg regularly and cringe-worthily tried to dip into the "buddy movie" genre with dialogues between the "crack team" of Israeli operators (about as crack as a WI reunion).
The dinner they enjoyed together with awful banter flowing across the table about being toy-makers or furniture dealers sat very awkwardly with feeble jokes about receipts and the role of the South African (I don't look forward to the next James Bond film if that performance is anything to go by) was a mystery to everyone including the actor himself.
Well, I can't even begin to emphasise how boring, how much of a waste of time and how completely unengaging this film was, but if you liked Troy (also starring Azner as Hector) and other abominations of movies of a similar ilk then run to the cinemas, throw over your money and take in yet another slice of Hollywood tripe masquerading as an artistic and thought provoking work.