Lynch's best movie... the worst movie I've ever seen

Rating: 2/10 (6 December 2007)

This movie is just plain bad. And before you Lynch disciples start lynching me for not being intelligent enough to join your supercilious horde, let me say that I DID GET IT. How could anyone not? It's painfully juvenile. It's obvious and predictable. And it is about as philosophical as a bowl of puke.
I don't mean this as an insult; I genuinely mean it: this movie is for people who are 5% smarter than the average action-flick-junkies but not quite smart enough to swallow Kurosawa. In other words, this film is for the bourgeoisie of cinemaphiles. You guys should pat yourselves on the back because at least you're not wasting your time on Cronenburg (or are you? heh heh). But don't get too cocky. At least not until you're old enough to drive. Hope this review didn't make you cry.