Oh Lynch, Where Art Thou?

Rating: Null/10 (30 December 2001)

Eraserhead was quite a trip The Elephant Man really made me flip Twin Peaks was quite lovely, too....
Mr. Lynch, what's happened to you?
Years ago you brought joy To surrealism-loving girls and boys But to Mullholland Drive, I say..."HOO BOY!" Mr. Lynch, it seems, has lost his thing.
Plot is stupid, acting as well, The whole stinking mess was boring as hell. Tries to be this and tries to be that, Ends up going nowhere in no time flat.
I now miss the days when I could say, "what the hell was that movie, anyway?" Now, alas, Lynch's style has fizzled, And his hair become more frizzled.
Mr. Lynch, I fear I feel You've just become another cog in the Hollywood wheel.
So, to viewers who'd buy this, I say... Save your money, stay away! It's not exciting, it's eye-straining, Barely even entertaining. If you think this is worth the penny-pinching, You may deserve a public Lynching.