Would have been a great TV series ...

Rating: 5/10 (10 November 2002)

... as was intended, but, for whatever reason this became a feature film. Therein lies its fatal flaw. Imagine if you will, taking a two-hour TV pilot that's painted in very broad strokes in order to keep enough of a plot going for a number of episodes, and then having to wrap it up in another half-hour so it can be released to theatres. Can't be done. Here. Watch this film if you don't believe me.
Now, David Lynch has coughed up some interesting films and does try to do things a bit differently, I'll grant him that. And I get the sense that this was meant to be the kinda inverse of "Twin Peaks" -- that is, a fish out of water story turned inside out. So big points there.
Plus, I hafta say the film *is* riveting, for the first two hours. You do get wrapped up in the weirdness, the mystery and (yes) the lesbian sex. But, before long, it all goes over the cliff before bursting into flames like a really bad car wreck. (Hmmm...)
It's the ending -- the damn ending that gives it in. I won't spoil it, but the film's preoccupation with this post-modern b.s. about dreams and reality/fantasy is not only starting to get real old (see Vanilla Sky and the truly horrible Donnie Darko), but is the mark of a person who doesn't know what they're doing. I think Lynch knows it too. Didn't he do interviews for this film saying that he didn't know what it meant?

On top of all this, did I mention that there are far too many loose threads left dangling? No? Well then. We are introduced to characters who swiftly disappear off the map, never to be heard from again. Mark of an amateur writer, right there.
I was going to begin this little spiel with a quote from author Jonathan Carroll about how he felt the most important thing in life was to be understood. But I'll end on that quote instead. If you need to 'understand' a film in order to enjoy it -- pass on this. If you, however, like having a director stick his metaphoric genitalia inside your head whilst simultaneously projecting all his twisted fantasies onto a screen before you -- well, you might like this one. But don't come aboard expecting explanations or pat resolutions. None are forthcoming.
My personal opinion? You're almost better off watching porn. No plots there either, lots more t and a, and most of 'em are about an hour to an hour and a half shorter than this thing.