David Lynch should stick to the television

Rating: Null/10 (27 June 2003)

This should have been a made-for-TV movie. It runs like a soap opera jumping all over the place, making no sense at all. It's like watching a cartoon where nothing has to make sense. It isn't "deep", "complex" or "genius" as some have claimed. It's just plain dumb! It always amazes me when a writer, director, comedian or whatever is terrible at what they do and their cult followers claim "it's because they're genius and too complex for us and they are criticized only because people don't understand them"! No, it's because they're inept at their job and should be doing something else for a living! It takes absolutely no talent at all to throw together a mystery that will boggle the viewers minds when it lacks any kind of logic.
This thing just runs all over the place as if it were the rambling imagination of a young child with ADD. It's not surprising it came from the mind of director whose roots are in TV where the average attention span is thirty minutes. After watching this I thought either David Lynch did a few too many mind altering drugs in his younger years or simply can't get out of his made-for-TV mentality. Then I read that this was originally meant to be a pilot for a TV series and was only an hour long! The project got scrapped(as it should have been)and so David Lynch managed to get enough funds to throw together(literally!) some additional footage and presto, we have a movie! And what a surprise! This is exactly what this thing looks like, a Frankenstein of a film made from many different pieces that don't match. David Lynch should stay where he fits in. Television!