a contemporary analysis of David Lynch's latest atrocity

Rating: 1/10 (16 March 2003)

I want 2 hours of my life back. David Lynch deliberately stole two hours of my life with an arbitrarily complicated plot intended to confuse the be-jeezus out of people...the only possible reason he had to do this...because he didnt have enough time, money, or idea to finish this movie. I think its funny how so many people think this movie is fantastic. The only reason I see for this is that people must assume that if they dont understand the movie, it must be a work of art beyond the scope of the common man. Believe me, this is not the case. I love complicated movies. Memento is amazing...LA Confidential is amazing...do you know what made these movies work? They had ideas! They had plot! Please note the top 100 movies...they all have plots that "normal" people can understand. No immense volume of words can even begin to explain the awfulness of this movie. To finish, a quote from Lewis Black...if you ever have any aspiration of seeing this movie, "why dont you take out a pencil, sharpen it, and stick it in your eye...because you'll have more fun sitting in the hospital emergency room trying to hold the pencil steady."
***spoilers*** Oh yeah...symbolism...ummm...this movie was rank full of it (thats a double pun) People who believe in this movie have tried to explain it to me...I understand what they say: She lives out her wanted life in her head and we see the contrast of that with her real life and how dreams are shattered by the reality of life. She is obsessed with the actress and wants more than anything to be with her and b/c she cant, she wants to upstage her...but in the end, she realizes that all of her dreams have failed and so (post furious, superfluous masturbation) she kills herself. Every other bit of symbolism is dealing with her shattered and failed dreams of stardom. I get this explanation...but the movie is still awful. There are far better ways of showing this...in fact, movies have been made about failed dreams...a lot of them in fact...I recommend seeing one of these rather than enduring the stabbing pain of trying to figure out this movie. I recommend a different activity to partake in besides watching this film: write a script and send it to David Lynch.